The Espers Who Regretted Losing Me Chapter 88

I watched them exchange serious opinions for a while—

then I just walked out of the operations room.

I don’t want us to get closer, okay…?

No matter how nice they act, I’m not that simple.

Until the eight years of resentment in my chest fully untangle, I will never forgive them.

With that renewed determination, I sprinted straight home.

 

 

****

 

⟦ Platinum Squad Weekly Report (Summary) — Week 4 ⟧

Before I knew it, the fourth weekly report was done.

It had already been a month since I was forcibly “rescued” from the gate.

Cha Eunhwi, who had just returned from reporting to the Director, looked at us and said,

“Good work this week, everyone. For this past month, our squad ranked second in performance.”

Second?

We’d been clearing gates more steadily and faster than when we were acting as Geumgang Second Squad—but still, second was surprising.

Back then, we were lucky to hit fifth place.

Even if other squads hadn’t been operating at full capacity, we’d worked hard.

Dogyeong frowned.

“What? We worked that hard and we’re second? Is first place Geumgang?”

“Yeah. If you only count the number of gates cleared, we’re actually first. But most of the B-rank gates this month were assigned to Geumgang. We were inactive for a year, and Hyeya needed time to readjust. The Director and Geumgang were being considerate. Don’t take it the wrong way.”

“I’m not offended. Who do you think I am?”

“Not someone with a terrible personality, hyung?”

“Maknae, you must be feeling pretty confident these days. Picking fights with me?”

“I’m just telling the truth.”

“Shinra, Dogyeong. If you want to fight, I’ll move you to the Director’s office. If not, sit quietly.”

At Eunhwi’s calm warning, the two of them snapped their mouths shut like clams.

They’d already been physically dragged away once before by Eunhwi when they got too loud. Learned behavior.

Once they quieted down, Eunhwi continued with a wry smile.

“Also, the number of cleared gates is now almost three times higher than the number of newly formed cracks. We’re also handling C- and D-rank gates that were left unattended due to manpower shortages. Even with the guide shortage, things seem stable for now.”

Things were definitely improving.

But none of us believed it would stay this way forever.

Gates would try something else eventually.

Still, for this past month, raids had gone smoothly. My daily life wasn’t bad either.

While I was sitting there absentmindedly, Eunhwi spoke carefully.

“Hyeya. The Director will probably thank you personally later, but he asked me to pass along his gratitude.”

So he noticed.

During this peaceful month, something had happened that earned me thanks.

Every morning, one of the three—Dogyeong, Shinra, or Eunhwi—took turns walking me to the operations room.

At first, it was clearly to block other espers from approaching or staring.

But at some point, it just became normal.

Last week, I’d said, “I can go alone now. I know the way, and people don’t stare as much anymore.”

Dogyeong had responded, “How can you say something so cruel?”

I’d almost grabbed him by the collar and shaken him.

You’ve said way worse to me.

Before I could react, he’d shouted,

“Of course I used to say much worse things to you!”

Then he’d launched into a fifteen-minute speech about “Why We Must Commute Together.”

I hadn’t listened at all.

In the end, I still didn’t go alone. We had the same route and same schedule anyway.

When I awkwardly said, “…Hi,” to Dogyeong and Shinra one morning, they’d looked ridiculously happy.

They’d been walking around like corpses before that. After that day, they brightened up.

But I hadn’t expected the espers who weren’t receiving guiding—or hadn’t been chosen by a guide—to be that desperate.

The secrecy about the Director’s gate theory was holding.

But the phenomenon of gates targeting guides was still ongoing.

Another guide had quit.

That’s when it started.

Pale-faced espers began appearing along my route, sending me distant, longing looks.

I firmly told them I couldn’t guide because of my “amnesia.”

No one believed me.

I even warned them they’d be disciplined if they kept forcing it… and they still wouldn’t move.

I was thinking, Even if you kneel and beg, I might not do it—

And then one of them actually knelt.

“Please, just once. My head… it hurts so much…”

He cried. Full-on tears and snot.

And before I knew it, I’d guided him.

Not contact-type—radiation-type.

But at very close range.

And since my guiding ability had improved significantly, it worked even better than stabilizers.

After that, one esper became two.

Two became three.

Somewhere along the way, a ridiculous rumor spread:

“Guide Yoon Hyeya (currently with amnesia) will guide you if you kneel and beg!”

Honestly.

It’s satisfying, but this isn’t the equal, balanced relationship I wanted.

It’s nice that guides are treated as valuable.

But simply flipping the power dynamic without changing the nature of the relationship?

That doesn’t feel right either.

So now I tell them they don’t have to kneel—just be polite.

And every morning, as I pass by, I casually provide a bit of guiding.

Dogyeong clicked his tongue.

“I hate this. They should’ve treated you well when they had the chance.”

“Dogyeong, that’s a bit…”

“They probably don’t want to hear that from us…”

Eunhwi and Shinra immediately shut him down.

I looked at him skeptically, and he pouted.

“That’s why I’m trying to treat you well now. Right, Yoon Hyeya? I listen to you. I behave. I’m good, aren’t I?”

I wanted to ignore him.

But he wasn’t wrong.

That was the problem.

Eunhwi and Shinra had softened too.

But Dogyeong—

Dogyeong acted like a completely different person.

His rough tone hadn’t changed. His personality hadn’t changed.

But it was obvious.

I was his top priority.

Especially inside gates.

He let me fight monsters freely—

but whenever things looked dangerous, he stepped in as a shield.

I’m the harshest to him, and he just grins like he’s happy.

By severity, what I say now is equal to—or worse than—what he used to say to me.

But no matter what I say, he just smiles.

It’s disorienting.

“….”

This is bad.

At this rate, I might develop that horrible, terrifying thing called affection born from resentment.

Me and Dogyeong getting along.

Me and Eunhwi chatting comfortably.

Me and Shinra becoming close.

Just imagining it made my neck prickle—

but the fact that it didn’t make my skin crawl as much as before was even scarier.

“…I’m going home.”

“No hugging random espers! If radiation-type isn’t enough and you need contact-type guiding, don’t hold hands—just touch fingertips. You’re a genius, Yoon Hyeya. You can probably create contact effects without contact.”

“And noona, if anyone gets clingy or obsessive on the way, just hit their weak points. I’ll heal them. You can beat them up without worry!”

“Have a good day off, Hyeya.”

It’s exhausting to keep up with them.

I gave them a tired look and walked out.

My goal—to escape—hasn’t changed at all.

And yet…

It feels like I’m achieving something.

Just not in the direction I planned.