Formless Chapter 20

“I just arrived home and heard some disgusting words.”

“…”

“And rushed all the way here in a frenzy.”

His tone was rough. Heewoon bit his lip, looking at his neatly sculpted profile. Unable to ask anything more, he clasped his hands together and only looked straight ahead. Then, he realized they were in Incheon. He thought they might be going to the restaurant as promised.

But the place where the car stopped was in front of an apartment building.

Heewoon followed Gangwoo, cautiously observing him.

When they got into the elevator, Heewoon felt like he was suffocating to death. He knew well how Seo Gangwoo, with no expression on his face, could hurt people.

Heewoon hesitated, standing in the entryway of the house, which looked like a model home with almost no trace of habitation. Was this also Seo Gangwoo’s house? Heewoon thought, even in that moment.

Gangwoo, who went in first, took off his jacket, threw it onto the sofa, loosened his tie, and looked at Heewoon.

“It must be disappointing. To run into me at the airport of all places.”

Heewoon blinked at the dry, expressionless words. There seemed to be a misunderstanding.

“Ah, no! I wasn’t trying to go anywhere, really. I just… went to look around.”

“You wanted to run away?”

Gangwoo tilted his head obliquely.

‘Run away.’

That word pierced his ear.

Heewoon glared at Gangwoo with wide eyes. The sharp corner of the passport, which he had hastily shoved into his pants pocket, pricked his skin. His lips trembled slightly. He remembered the man he saw earlier. Was that man not going on a trip, but running away?

A voice suppressing emotion leaked out between his trembling lips.

“Why. Can’t I go anywhere?”

“What?”

“I can leave alone too. Maybe I can go somewhere later. Maybe faster than expected… faster than expected.”

“…”

Gangwoo gazed at Heewoon in silence. After a long moment, he opened his mouth.

“So. You went on a scouting trip today?”

“…Yes. I was planning to go back by 5 o’clock.”

Gangwoo lowered his eyes and chewed over the words, as if mumbling to himself.

“Later, alone, you plan to leave. Maybe faster than expected.”

Heewoon stepped back hesitantly. He hadn’t said anything wrong. As he backed away from the quietly standing Seo Gangwoo, his back hit the front door. The coldness touching his back felt like it was chilling his chest. Heewoon clenched his fists and kept his eyes on Gangwoo.

The chest muscles beneath the tight vest swelled visibly. He let out a long breath and lifted his eyelids to look at Heewoon.

“Sunbae.”

Gangwoo raised the corners of his mouth. The curve was gently curved, no different from usual, but it inexplicably gave Heewoon the chills.

“I’ll set one rule.”

“…”

Thump, thump. Heewoon’s heart pounded rapidly. A strange and ominous premonition crept over his skin.

“Let’s say sunbae can only go where I allow.”

His curved eyes and voice were sweet.

Heewoon moved his lips to try and argue, but Gangwoo was quicker.

“Just thinking about you wandering around places where I’m not…”

He spoke quietly, slowly approaching. It felt like his neck was being strangled.

“…makes me feel unpleasant.”

Gangwoo slowly stroked Heewoon’s head. The fingers moving along his hair touched the back of his neck. Heewoon hunched his shoulders.

“If I break your leg or something, you’ll bawl your eyes out again.”

Heewoon looked up at Gangwoo, terrified. The beast-like body hidden under the thin fabric felt like it would crush him at any moment.

“So when you go somewhere other than home or around the school. Be sure to ask me first.”

His voice was so gentle that it sounded as if he was accommodating Heewoon’s convenience.

Looking at Heewoon, who remained silent, Gangwoo said with a sigh.

“I’m worried sunbae has forgotten recently.”

“When I say something, what should sunbae do?”

The hand stroking his head tap, lightly tapped his cheek. The eyes they met were darkly sunken. Heewoon trembled his lips and said,

“…Yes, I understand.”

“Good boy.”

Seo Gangwoo smiled and stroked his head.

A mouse caught in a trap. Heewoon recalled that phrase beneath the imposing, large shoulder.

Gangwoo backed away and went to sit on the sofa. His movements were unhurried and relaxed. Heewoon watched Gangwoo lean his back against the sofa and cross his legs. He felt like he could finally breathe now.

“It’s still a bit early, so let’s rest before we go.”

“…Yes.”

“Why are you not coming in?”

Gangwoo turned his head and saw Heewoon still standing at the entrance. Heewoon flinched, then cautiously asked,

“Are you not angry anymore?”

He felt extremely pathetic asking such a thing after being told he needed permission to go anywhere. Heewoon tightly bit his lip. However, he thought anyone else would have done the same.

It wasn’t that he was lacking in courage and pathetic, but that Seo Gangwoo was too dangerous and terrifying.

Gangwoo, who was staring intently at Heewoon, laughed faintly.

“Are you standing there because you think you’ll get hit?”

“Not exactly…”

“That’s funny. Have I ever hit sunbae for fun?”

“No, no!”

Heewoon waved his hand dismissively. He desperately denied it, even while thinking it felt somewhat similar to being hit for fun.

“Come here.”

At the words spoken while pointing next to him, Heewoon hesitantly approached. The spacious sofa had plenty of room to sit, but he sat where Gangwoo indicated. Swoosh, as the soft sofa swallowed his body, he leaned back and their arms brushed.

Gangwoo stared intently at Heewoon, who was scrambling to sit upright, then put his arm around his shoulder. And he spoke softly,

“Going to the airport wasn’t sunbae’s fault. I just felt a little unpleasant.”

“Ah…”

Gangwoo stroked Heewoon’s shoulder as he nodded. Heewoon relaxed a little.

“Does sunbae have anything to say?”

Gangwoo gazed at Heewoon. Not knowing what he was referring to, Heewoon stared intently at Gangwoo, then mumbled,

“Sorry for going without telling you…?”

Gangwoo let out a dry laugh and pinched Heewoon’s cheek.

“I just talked about that. Not that.”

“Not… that…?”

As Heewoon completely failed to grasp the meaning, Gangwoo shook his head from side to side.

After that, they had an ordinary conversation.

It was strange, but that’s how it was. The trap tightened around his body, yet he stayed still, holding his breath, without attempting to escape.

Perhaps it was because he was afraid that a sharp sawtooth would dig into his body if he made any futile attempts. Being constricted around his neck might be much better than having his entire body shredded.

“Let’s go now.”

Following Gangwoo as he stood up, Heewoon secretly looked at the clock. It was a little past 6 PM. He really should send messages to the students. It was already tight to make it to the tutoring time, and it seemed best not to provoke Seo Gangwoo today, if possible.

Therefore, bringing up the matter today was not a good option. To bring it up, the atmosphere would have to be as gentle as it was on the day he slept at Seo Gangwoo’s house.

Glancing at Gangwoo’s back, Heewoon succeeded in quickly sending two messages.

[I’m truly sorry, but I’m not feeling well today. Could we reschedule the class for another day?]

He hadn’t received a reply yet, but just sending the message made him feel relieved.

“Who are you texting so much?”

Gangwoo, who was suddenly staring intently at Heewoon, asked. Words popped out of Heewoon’s mouth.

“A friend.”

“Ah. It seems you are friends with the student you tutor.”

“…Huh? Uh, yes.”

His heart sank. He must have seen the sender’s name. He probably didn’t see the text content.

“Don’t you have anything to tell me?”

“Huh? No, I don’t…”

Gangwoo looked at Heewoon’s awkward expression and let out a light, breathy laugh. He took off his wrist watch and placed it on the table. The metal and glass colliding made a relatively loud sound. At that sound, Heewoon’s heart unexpectedly sank.

Gangwoo, wearing a skewed smile, said,

“I was wondering how far you’d go, but this is beyond my expectation.”

Did Seo Gangwoo find out? Heewoon’s mind raced. Still, he felt like he had to pretend not to know for now.

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Aha. You’re not sure?”

Seo Gangwoo, who had come right up close, met his eyes.

“Yes. I’m not sure…”

It happened in an instant. His hair was grabbed, and his forehead was slammed into the wall.

Crash—! The sound was too loud to have been made by his own head. His brain felt like it was shaking. He couldn’t think properly. Even the groan he let out wasn’t registering in his brain.

Gangwoo, who pulled his head back, looked at Heewoon’s face and said,

“Do you understand a bit now?”

The words floated chaotically inside Heewoon’s head. The eyes they met were cold, and the forehead that hit the wall was too hot.

“Eugh…”

“It seems you still don’t quite understand.” Gangwoo muttered nonchalantly and slammed Heewoon’s head into the wall harder than before.

Bang. The sound resonated louder.

Gangwoo, firmly gripping his hair, pulled his staggering, collapsing body upright. Gangwoo carefully examined Heewoon’s forehead. It was red but not bleeding. As he applied force again, Heewoon groped for and grabbed Gangwoo’s hand.

“Why. Do you understand now?”

“Heeu… Yes, yes. I, I understand. Now.”

When the hand gripping his hair let go, Heewoon slumped down weakly. Seo Gangwoo’s face entered his dizzy, distorted view. Gangwoo gestured with his chin, as if telling him to speak.

“I, I lied that I quit tutoring.”

Heewoon’s body trembled violently. Gangwoo bent his knees and sat down, tilting his head and staring intently at Heewoon’s face. After watching for a long time, he slowly opened his mouth.

“Lies truly gnaw away at human relationships.”

“…Heeu…”

“Relationships are maintained based on trust, but if a single lie intervenes, it becomes difficult.”

“Yes… yes.”

Heewoon nodded his head as if everything Gangwoo said was absolutely right.

“That’s why I hate lies.”

“I, I’m sorry. I won’t lie again.”

Heewoon clasped his hands together. Gangwoo, with an indifferent expression, continued speaking calmly.

“I don’t understand why you would refuse money when it’s offered. And lying about just that is annoying too.”