Tail’s Curse Chapter 57

 

“Here, I can exist as a version of myself that’s separate from the one people expect and like. Or should I say, I can fully immerse myself in my own world. It’s okay if I don’t produce anything special or if I fall short.”

 

Her concerns were probably very different in nature from Cordelia’s. 

 

But that didn’t make what she wanted and valued seem unnecessary at all. When Cordelia quietly nodded, Sasha smiled brightly.

 

“That’s why I like you. You don’t obsess over polished conversations or reactions that look good. Living in Katisha can be really fun, but it’s exhausting too. You have to maintain decorum every single moment. You even have to say things you don’t mean.”

 

Seeing the subtle but deep weariness and fatigue in her words, Cordelia was surprised to see so much of Sasha’s honest side today, but at the same time, she felt much more warmth and affection for her than for the flawless flower of high society that everyone admired. 

 

Cordelia said,

 

“I like the honest Miss Ander too. Fancy eloquence is too difficult for me.”

 

“Please call me Sasha. Can I call you more casually too? I want to be friends with you.”

 

Of course, we’re already friends. 

 

At Sasha’s playful wink, Cordelia nodded shyly.

 

“If that’s true, then you’re my first friend.”

 

“Oh, really?”

 

Sasha’s eyes widened.

 

“I’m honored. But that’s strange. Someone like you shouldn’t be without friends.”

 

“After my mother passed away, circumstances haven’t allowed me to stay in society. My only friend, if I can call him that, was my former fiancé, Jonathan… but since the engagement was broken, I’m not sure about that anymore.”

 

Could she really call Jonathan a friend? Maybe once upon a time. 

 

But Cordelia knew that constantly watching his reactions, feeling guilty, and clinging to him desperately like he was her only lifeline was far from friendship or love.

 

This, too, is not Jonathan’s fault but her own wickedness. 

 

Sasha was startled by her honest confession.

 

“Oh dear! I don’t know the circumstances, but I hope it was a decision without regrets. Are you okay now?”

 

“Yes. It was an engagement arranged by the adults, so I had taken it for granted for a long time, but it doesn’t seem like we loved each other terribly. I do feel worried and sorry for him, though.”

 

If Jonathan had been absolutely necessary to her, what would she have been to him? 

 

To Jonathan, Cordelia must have been like a sick younger sister. Someone he cared about, pitied, and felt responsible for—more an object of care than a companion.

 

But isn’t she receiving that kind of care even now? What’s the difference?

 

The form is different and strange, but to Noah, Cordelia is still only receiving unilaterally. 

 

Of course, she had agreed to give him what he wanted, but it was clear that he was taking care of her

 

. Not just material support, but he personally spent time and emotions, even fulfilling her emotionally.

 

When you think about it, unlike Jonathan, who had taken it for granted to be responsible for her, Noah was just doing whatever he felt like… 

 

So why was Cordelia being swayed by him?

 

She was not a fool. She had desperately pretended otherwise, but she knew that something beyond a simple creditor-debtor relationship, or a temporary guardian and ward, had passed between them—something neither of them had directly spoken aloud.

 

Both of them knew, but neither had seriously discussed it.

 

That level of shallowness. Highly volatile emotions. 

 

Like a flower, rain that is ecstatic and beautiful when it falls, but wilts in just a day.

Am I drawn to ephemeral things? Because I, too, am destined to fade away like sea foam soon?

 

Cordelia, lost in thought, met the eyes of Sasha, who was looking at her with concern, and smiled purely white without a speck of pretense.

 

“I’m okay.”

 

Jonathan, yes. Other than the fact that I couldn’t say thank you because it’ll be hard to see each other again afterward, I have no regrets. 

 

Contrary to how desperately I held on and waited, the fact that I now have no lingering attachments feels rather bittersweet. 

 

In fact, in some ways, it even felt refreshing.

 

Sasha must have read the sincerity in Cordelia’s expression, as she made a complicated face.

 

“Actually, it’s not the time for me to worry about others. I have my own troubles too. Even though it’s something that’s obviously already decided no matter who looks at it, the fact that I’m still like this makes me think I’m pathetic.”

 

“What is it, Sasha?”

 

She was already worried about the troubles written in her letter. Sasha fell silent for a moment before sighing and saying,

 

“I have someone I like.”

 

It wasn’t surprising. 

 

It would be strange for a young and beautiful lady in her prime, who is admired by everyone in high society, not to be in a romance. 

 

As Cordelia listened quietly, she swallowed dryly.

 

“He likes me too. No, I thought he did. We’ve met quite a few times and shared deep feelings.”

 

Her complicated expression implied that ‘sharing deep feelings’ wasn’t just an ordinary relationship. 

 

Perhaps an engagement promise, or even a physical relationship… Cordelia quickly turned her thoughts elsewhere.

 

If what she said was true, it wasn’t an ordinary matter. 

 

Who could it be? 

 

When Sasha mentioned dating some man, Cordelia thought of Noah, but since both strongly denied it, it must naturally be another man. 

 

For someone as perfect as her to make such a pained expression.

 

“The problem is that he got engaged. And to someone who was my friend.”

 

“What?”

 

Cordelia opened her mouth wide in shock, and at that innocent reaction, even the serious Sasha let out a faint smile.

 

“When I heard the news, I was so shocked I didn’t know what to do. No one knows we were dating, and I can’t confess it to my father either. If he found out, he’d probably cause a huge uproar.”

 

“That makes sense.”

 

Duke Arsen, who cherished his daughter terribly, would never let the man who toyed with her go unpunished. 

 

For starters, this in itself was a huge scandal.

 

Strangely enough, in such scandals, it was not the man but the woman who suffered the greater blow. 

 

Even if the man was at fault, it was the woman whose honor fell. 

 

They would gossip about the woman’s conduct, behavior, and chastity. The Katisha social circle would be no different.

 

Cordelia frowned at the thought of how unreasonable it was.

 

Sasha smiled bitterly.

 

“I’m so angry and hurt, but the more miserable truth is that I can’t even confront him directly or blame my friend. On the contrary, to them, I’m the villain. Because I naturally assumed he would take gentlemanly responsibility commensurate with his social status, and I believed him and allowed everything. In truth, I should say I was blinded by love. I was foolish.”

 

“…”

 

“But he was so sweet, treating me as someone so special and lovable, that I deluded myself into thinking he felt the same as I did. Now I see he never even said he loved me.”

 

Strangely, the more she listened to her words, the more Cordelia suddenly thought of Noah. 

 

About their subtle and strange relationship. 

 

But… we didn’t do anything like Sasha and her secret lover. 

 

Cordelia pretended not to notice the subtle stirring.

 

“We didn’t make any formal promises to date, nor did we talk about the future at all. We just explored each other in the moment, as our bodies and hearts desired.”

 

The more she spoke, the more intense her emotions surged, and Sasha bit her lip. 

 

Seeing her trembling white hand, Cordelia felt a surge of pity for her and anger with herself, so she firmly grasped that hand.

 

“Actually, I’m angrier at myself than at that person. What made me naively entrust everything to him? To someone who just laughed every time I said I loved him. I thought it was just because he was bad at expressing himself, so I only saw the good things that suited me and overlooked the rest.”

 

“…”

 

“Since it wasn’t an official relationship, I couldn’t hold him accountable, and my friend doesn’t know any of this, so I can’t hold her responsible for betrayal either. I’m ashamed of my own baseness and shortcomings. I feel so sorry and guilty toward my friend who knows nothing. Isn’t she the biggest victim? Unintentionally, I ended up betraying her! I can’t even bear to look at her face…”

 

“Don’t be like that. You just liked that person. The bad one is him. Even though Sasha expressed all her feelings, he pretended not to know and deceived her.”