How a Villain Defies Destiny Chapter 167

Her tone was calm, yet in contrast, moisture gradually welled up in Selene’s transparent sky-blue eyes.

 

“That’s why I’ve been avoiding him.”

 

Instead of sighing at the sight of her, I asked Fenrir.

 

“Lord Fenrir, could you cast something like a sound-blocking magic for a moment?”

 

Judging that with the abilities he had shown so far he could easily deploy a type of magic similar to the magical tools Endymion possessed, I made the request.

 

Then Fenrir, who had been sprawled limply on the wide, soft bed, wrinkled the bridge of his nose thoroughly and countered.

 

[What? Why?]

 

“I need to have a… no. A deep conversation with Selene.”

 

When I spoke while giving a slight glance toward Selene, who looked ready to burst into tears at any moment with her eyes brimming, even Fenrir, whose reluctant aura was plain, could not bring himself to refuse.

 

[Tsk. Keep it short and finish.]

 

Clicking his tongue lightly, he answered that he would do so with a somewhat softened force, and soon a small magic circle rose at his feet and then vanished.

 

Sensing that the flow of the air had subtly changed, I carefully opened my mouth toward Selene.

 

“It’s a bit unexpected. I thought you were keeping your distance for a while because you felt betrayed by Lord Endymion for hiding the secret.”

 

When I added that I had assumed she found even the sight of him so unpleasant that she was staying away until her anger subsided, Selene, who had been furrowing her brows to keep the tears from falling, answered with a self-deprecating smile.

 

“Of course not. The traitor is me.”

 

“What?”

 

“I allowed my body and heart to someone else while leaving Lord Endymion aside.”

 

“Ah…”

 

Suddenly Endymion’s voice brushed through my mind.

 

His words that if she learned he had recovered his memories she would feel the pangs of conscience and grow sad.

 

At the same time I could understand why he, who had regained his memories, had not readily revealed the secret.

 

‘She’s truly too kind for her own good.’

 

If she had been even a little selfish or shrewd, she would have rationalized her actions by saying “it was an unavoidable situation” or “the other party was at fault too,” or shifted the blame.

 

Yet she seemed to regard even the things she had been forced to do because of Nanna as entirely her own responsibility and was suffering under the guilt.

 

Her attitude, upright to the point of foolishness and frustrating, turned my insides upside down, yet I rebutted as calmly as possible.

 

“But that was because you couldn’t go against Lord Nanna’s command.”

 

“No matter what my will was, the fact that I chose someone else while leaving Lord Endymion aside does not change.”

 

For a moment I was at a loss for words.

 

I had told Endymion that turning away would not make the wounds disappear and that he should face the past properly and resolve things well with Selene, yet seeing her blaming herself even for things that were not her fault, I could not utter the same words.

 

‘If only we could mix Selene’s and Endymion’s temperaments half and half, it would be perfect.’

 

One was too conscientious for her own good, and the other lacked conscience and that was the problem.

 

‘Well, maybe that’s why the two of them are a match made in heaven…’

 

An idle notion unsuited to the situation suddenly rose and I almost let out a hollow laugh, yet I brushed it away with a sigh and began speaking in a low voice.

 

“I actually think it’s a good thing.”

 

“…”

 

Perhaps because it was an unexpected remark, her eyes that still held moisture widened.

 

“Thanks to recalling the memories of those days, Lord Endymion has also been given the chance to tie up the problems he buried in the past.”

 

Strictly speaking, the point that Endymion had also done many wrongs to Selene rose to my throat, yet I did not deliberately mention it.

 

Pointing out his flaws to Selene, who was already shouldering every problem, would only produce the opposite effect.

 

Moreover, something more important existed, so I set aside topics that might blur the point and carefully began.

 

“This is purely my personal opinion, but…”

 

The words I was about to string out from now on were not comfort, so I briefly trailed off and observed her complexion.

 

‘She’s definitely going to get angry.’

 

Perhaps she would resent me, or it might become an act that further poked at her wounds.

 

Even so, I continued the conversation that had paused.

 

“I think the past that has already gone by cannot exert any influence on the present.”

 

“Don’t speak so carelessly when you know nothing!”

 

As expected, Selene’s resistance was fierce.

 

To the point that her face was stained red with anger.

 

“What kind of pain I’m going through… you don’t know. That’s why you can speak so easily.”

 

“You’re right. Because I’m not you, I will never be able to fully understand your pain.”

 

In contrast, I calmly and readily affirmed while looking straight at her as she raised her voice.

 

“But think carefully. Where is the past?”

 

“Well, of course…”

 

She, who had been glaring at me while biting her lower lip tightly, tried to reply in an incredulous tone but trailed off.

 

It seemed she had many things she wanted to say, yet her mind was so complicated that no answer came out.

 

Without waiting for her reply, I spoke.

 

“It doesn’t exist now. It’s only in your memories. Therefore, the one holding onto the past is you, Selene.”

 

“…!”

 

Her face twisted sharply as if she intended to deny my opinion, and she moved her lips, yet before she could offer any rebuttal I cut in first.

 

“Selene, your past is like a tangled ball of thread. It’s so twisted that it can’t be unraveled no matter what, and in that state you can’t make anything with it either, a ball of thread that’s completely useless even if you keep it.”

 

I was neither a professional counselor nor well-versed in trauma, yet I knew that evaluating someone else’s past as worthless, no matter the intention, was extremely rude.

 

Even so, the reason I stimulated Selene was because I hoped she would not remain bound by the past.

 

‘Selene is also a victim who got swept up in something she never wanted.’

 

I hoped she would no longer blame herself.

 

No matter how hard a human tried, accidents that suddenly struck like natural disasters could not be avoided.

 

“Still, if the memories with Lord Endymion are so precious that you cannot throw away even the tangled parts, then cut them off. And reweave the cut pieces of thread. From now on you can create something new, can’t you?”

 

I hoped she would not give up the present because of a past that could not be changed.

 

“You can’t erase the past, but the present is possible.”

 

“…”

 

I knew these were clichéd words anyone could say. That they were so obvious they would not reach the person involved at all.

 

Yet I wanted to tell Selene, who was foolishly blaming only herself.

 

That it was all right to think comfortably and simply.

 

“It’s… too late.”

 

Then she, who had been silent, managed to counter in a trembling voice.

 

Before I could even ask what was too late, her next words followed.

 

“Because I don’t have the qualifications to be by Lord Endymion’s side.”

 

I wanted to argue that as long as they liked each other that was enough and why something like that was necessary, yet for now knowing what she was thinking was important, so I composed my emotions and asked calmly.

 

“Who decides those qualifications?”

 

“…The world. Although it has become as if it never happened now, Lord Endymion and… I know.”

 

“By any chance, are you right now…”

 

I tried to ask whether she thought of herself as defiled, yet I could not finish the sentence.

 

Seeing her shedding tears, I could tell even without hearing the answer.

 

“Selene…”

 

My earlier claim had been meant to shock her and awaken her to a new path, yet right now she needed comfort.

 

‘If only I had a way with words.’

 

It was just that I could not easily gauge what comforting words to offer.

 

Having deliberately swallowed the sigh that had risen, I, after careful thought, compared her to a drawing paper.

 

“That… even if an indelible stain appears on a pure white drawing paper, the fact that it is drawing paper does not change.”

 

Honestly, I wanted to say that she did not even have a stain, yet given her stubborn personality she would never acknowledge it, so I continued while reasonably rationalizing.

 

“Well, there might be people who dislike a drawing paper with a stain, but on the contrary there will also be people who love even that.”

 

“…”

 

She, who was shedding tears drop by drop, seemed not to understand the story I had brought out.

 

“I think that person is Lord Endymion.”

 

“…”

 

“Because Lord Endymion said he began recalling the memories around the time I crossed over to the Holy Kingdom.”

 

Right after, she, who realized that the drawing paper I mentioned was herself, furrowed her brows yet offered no particular rebuttal.

 

It looked as if her throat was choked and she could not open her mouth, yet without waiting for her reaction I brought out the main point.

 

“That means, even though he knows everything that happened in the vanished time, Lord Endymion still likes you.”

 

“…”

 

“So please don’t belittle yourself. Don’t decide that you lack qualifications and give up on happiness before even trying.”

 

The droplets that had been hanging precariously at the ends of her eyes repeatedly slid down her cheeks.

 

“Of course I’m not forcing you. The choice is Selene’s. I just hope you won’t have regrets.”