Salt Society Chapter 1

“Is that really… what you have to say?”

Leaving behind the person asking with a deeply serious face, So Kihyun was thinking about something else.

For instance, he thought he heard that the birthday of the lover his friend was seeing lately was today, so why on earth was he here at Kihyun’s commissioning ceremony instead of there?

At the same time, on the other hand, he couldn’t help but fall into a different sentiment. He felt as though this person was truly making him drown in kindness.

“Hey, answer me. Stop ignoring what people say after blabbing everything on your own.”

The guy, who remarkably noticed Kihyun spacing out even though he looked expressionless at a glance, spoke with a furrowed brow.

Kihyun stared blankly at the beauty mark on the bridge of the other’s nose, which looked like a flick of paint, and then nodded. He looked as if he found it strange that the other person was asking twice about something so obvious. The answer to what he asked would always be the same, no matter when.

And for good reason—to Kihyun, that emotion was no different from a common greeting. Because ever since he became aware of it, he had always lived with that heart.

Just as the sun rises in the east in the morning, and just as the next season strides from afar when one season fades. He had liked and loved him like a fixed promise. Thus, after nodding his head, Kihyun added as if it were a matter of course.

“It’s surprising that you didn’t know.”

That was Kihyun’s honest impression. Since the only person So Kihyun—who had no talent for letting anyone close—had wanted to keep by his side since birth until now was Cho Yeonoh.

There was no way that hadn’t been obvious. He had realized it in his second year of high school. Since then, he had even tried to deny it. It wasn’t that he hadn’t worried about it himself. Because to So Kihyun, Cho Yeonoh was precious even as a friend. Fearing that the relationship might be damaged, he had tried to sort out any feelings other than friendship and brotherly affection. It just hadn’t worked out well.

So, over that long period of time, there was no way that the guy who knew him better than he knew himself didn’t know Kihyun’s heart. Even if he wasn’t certain, he must have had a vague inkling.

A stoic personality, corners of the mouth that rarely smiled, a stubborn man who couldn’t take a joke. A human like a cloudy gray, as if someone had poured white into a muddy blackness made by mixing various paints and said, “Whatever, mix this in too”—that was So Kihyun.

The only thing in his world that possessed its own unique color was Cho Yeonoh. And it was shining more vividly day by day.

If So Kihyun looked at Cho Yeonoh that way, there was no way Cho Yeonoh didn’t know. Because of that, So Kihyun had also made his own efforts.

The past days where he tried to forget, tried to like someone else, denied his feelings, buried them, didn’t take them out, cast a simple curse for them to just rot away, and even shrieked for them to scatter.

But could such things be forgotten? Rather, as the years passed, it became a natural emotion for him. If every effort to bury the feelings was So Kihyun’s will, the failure to forget was not So Kihyun’s will.

Kihyun lightly brushed the dust off his service cap and looked at the bouquet Cho Yeonoh had bought for him. Cho Yeonoh was holding the bouquet in one hand and a cigarette in the other, his brow furrowed.

Even though it was a secluded spot with an outdoor ashtray, people passing by turned back to look at him at least once. It was rare for someone not to look back. Kihyun understood them.

Amidst the many second lieutenants standing in line in their dress uniforms, he was dressed in a black turtleneck, a black coat, and even black shoes. Despite wearing clothes that shouldn’t stand out, everyone’s gaze was naturally pouring toward Cho Yeonoh.

However, as if he himself had never been aware of the surrounding gazes, he was merely flicking cigarette ash with his index finger. That appearance gave off the feeling that he was barely holding back a fairly foul temper. A well-bred thug, a street hoodlum in a suit, a delinquent with a polite face. Expressions and behaviors that suited such modifiers made So Kihyun let out a small chuckle.

“Don’t you dare smirk, after turning a person’s insides upside down.”

Perhaps displeased by that relaxed appearance, he soon tucked the cigarette butt between his pleasant-textured lips and inhaled deeply enough for his dimples to pit. At the tip of the cigarette, which burned down to the filter in one go, the embers flared up and then died down.

Kihyun stared blankly at what he was holding. The bouquet was quite flashy and large. The bouquet, which he must have spent a good amount of money on to boost the ego of his commissioning friend, was composed only of flowers with meanings that promised love.

Why is that bouquet for me? Why is it my share, and not for his Omega lover who has a birthday? He was past the age of worrying about such things. Kihyun had never been confused by Yeonoh. Because Cho Yeonoh did not love So Kihyun.

That was the purpose of this confession. To declare an end to his heart, which had been looking at Cho Yeonoh—who did not love So Kihyun—for a long time.

Since today was both graduation and commissioning day, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to set it as such a day. Kihyun moved his gaze to the space between Yeonoh’s deeply furrowed eyebrows.

Seeing him rubbing his brow with his thumb, it must mean he was contemplating or that something troublesome had happened; if so, which of the two was it? If it was the Cho Yeonoh Kihyun knew, it could be both. Something he’d avoid if he could, something merely troublesome. So Kihyun’s confession might have become such a thing to Cho Yeonoh.

Not wanting him to think too deeply, Kihyun spoke while putting his service cap back on.

“I told you just so you would know. I don’t have any other greed.”

…Could those words have been the problem instead? Cho Yeonoh’s eyes, which had been full of nothing but confusion, sank low. His eyes narrowed, and the corners of his mouth tore into a wide, refreshing stretch; then, his tongue, which had been grazing his lower lip, pressed firmly against one cheek, making it bulge out. Kihyun, who was watching all of that, clicked his tongue.

‘That bastard is pissed off right now.’

Yeonoh’s anger hit him vividly. Cho Yeonoh at times like this is difficult to handle. Kihyun, who knew that all too well, furrowed his brow slightly. Sure enough, it was because Yeonoh threw the bouquet onto the ground.

Watching the flower petals falling and rolling on the ground, he felt like he knew why he was angry. It was probably because he unilaterally confessed his feelings. However, it was such a natural thing to So Kihyun that he couldn’t stand it without saying it.

So, starting from today, he decided to leave the verdict of his love to Cho Yeonoh.

“I only said it because it’s so natural to me. As for the fact that the day I said it is today…”

Kihyun stopped what he was saying and looked around once. He could see a banner in the distance that read “The XX Class Graduation and Commissioning of the Korea Military Academy.” Looking at the motto written rather grandly beneath it, Kihyun smiled again.

The guy knows better than anyone that this day is special to Kihyun. So, a confession set specifically for today might be burdensome.

He was going to add that it wasn’t the case. That it wasn’t his intention to give him a burden. That it just popped out, like a flower bud bursting open.

“It might feel a bit heavy to you. But that’s not it…”

“Stop blabbing.”

The butt Cho Yeonoh was smoking finally flicked against the wall and spat out embers. Kihyun was bothered by the fact that the fire on the cigarette butt rolling on the ground hadn’t gone out. Not that it was annoying, but he was bothered. The way it rolled around after being thrown away even though it hadn’t gone out yet felt exactly like his own situation.

When he lifted his gaze to look at Yeonoh again, he was already pressing firmly under his brow bone with his thumb. It seemed his pain was recurring. Cho Yeonoh is a bit sharper when his headache is severe.

…Perhaps he chose the wrong date after all. However, if it wasn’t today, he felt like he wouldn’t be able to let it out of his mouth for the rest of his life, so he couldn’t wait any longer.

Well, no matter which day he chose, the answer that would return would be the same. Kihyun erased the hesitation that had been circling in his head continuously.

It might be a heavy thing to say while holding a fiancé ring, the pair to the commissioning ring, to a childhood friend who came to congratulate him on his commissioning. Because when Cho Yeonoh attended this event, he wouldn’t have expected something like a fiancé ring from So Kihyun.

Thinking that way, a different feeling than the one where he thought there wouldn’t be an opportunity to speak if not today came over him. He started to feel that it would have been better not to bring it up at all.

What a quick regret. Even though it was absurd, if he thought about it, hadn’t he lived well while hiding these feelings? Even without confessing his heart to Cho Yeonoh, even without baring what kind of emotions he was looking at Cho Yeonoh with, Kihyun had lived quite lightly for a person who shouldered a heavy unrequited love all along.

Perhaps it was because it was so natural. From the age of eighteen when he realized his feelings for the guy until now, unrequited love to So Kihyun was like rhinitis. Something that is painful to endure when it gets severe, but merely a bit uncomfortable usually.