Salt Society Chapter 70

So Kihyun chuckled but did not say he disliked it. I was grateful for that. Even though I kept having those kinds of dreams, I thought it didn’t matter as long as So Kihyun didn’t know.

How could he possibly know? If Cho Yeonoh hid it, So Kihyun, who was unexpectedly uninterested in Cho Yeonoh, would certainly never find out. Around that time, Cho Yeonoh lived in the gap between day and night. He cursed the dreams he had at dawn, but in the morning, he went to school, rubbed the back of So Kihyun’s head, threw an arm over the fellow’s shoulder, and pulled him into his embrace. He had a reason to struggle to protect something blooming atop contradiction and deception.

If you just stay by my side like this, I will also try to make sure those dirty things don’t rub off on you. So, So Kihyun. Stay by my side. With those thoughts, as the fellow lay face down on the desk solving a workbook with an oblivious face, I firmly poked his cheek with my finger.

—Do you really want to die?

—Is there anyone who actually wants to die?

Looking at the fellow who sighed as if suggesting they stop talking, I laughed heartily. His face looked serious as he chided me, saying, Be quiet, the others are studying. After nodding, I whispered, Let’s go to your house later and cook some ramen. Just as So Kihyun wanted, in a quiet voice, so as not to interfere with whatever those other bastards were doing. So Kihyun stared at Cho Yeonoh for a moment and then nodded.

Yes. This is enough for me. I hardened my mind.

After moving up to the third year, it seemed like So Kihyun was avoiding me. Thinking it was because studying was hard since he was aiming for the Military Academy, I told my mother—who would do anything for So Kihyun—and even brought him oriental medicine.

It was only much later that I learned So Kihyun’s father had thrown the herbal medicine away, box and all, right in front of the fellow. I spent time brooding over how to kill that Mister, then decided to let him off because he was So Kihyun’s father. Anyway, the fellow’s father must love him. Because no one could resist liking So Kihyun.

Still, after sticking together for two and a half years straight, excluding the early part of the first year when I ignored him after starting high school, life became worth living. As soon as we turned twenty, we drank in Sinchon, and after ditching Lee Bumhee who had squeezed his way in, we drank all night at his house.

The next morning, I would cure my hangover with dried pollack soup my mother sent through the driver, and there were times I saw with my own eyes exactly how much So Kihyun’s face swelled after he drank and slept.

Since I couldn’t see him often after Kihyun entered the Military Academy, I also went to the military. After my father, Cho Seongheon, showed that side of himself in front of me, I occasionally received medication from the psychiatry department, so there was no real reason for me to go, yet I volunteered to enlist. I had intended to wield every bit of power I possessed if I were assigned to public service, but fortunately, active duty came up.

My grandfather and mother asked in unison why on earth I was enlisting; I left for the training center saying that these days, even for conglomerates, the damage to one’s image cannot be ignored if caught in a military service scandal.

I was stationed in Cheorwon. During my service, I met So Kihyun exactly once. So Kihyun, dressed in his full dress uniform, came for a visit carrying chicken and pizza. He looked quite cool, so I wanted to take a picture, but I didn’t succeed because it was a time when cell phone use was prohibited within the military.

After being discharged, I devoted myself to university life in my own way. Around then, my grandfather started mentioning my cousins. Over a face that warned me not to assume everything was naturally mine, a sense of pride that said you are my only grandson was laid out, which was almost laughable. However, my relationship with the old man wasn’t bad, so I did as I was told. It was my own version of filial piety.

After applying for a job-seeking leave, I worked as an intern at Haesung Logistics. Around then, So Kihyun graduated.

I couldn’t miss the commissioning ceremony. Imagining a face that would hate it immensely, I even decorated a flamboyant bouquet with Swarovski crystals. And the words I heard then were quite something.

—Is that… really what you have to say?

I asked back, unable to believe it. So Kihyun just kept his mouth shut tight like a clam. His lips, which looked soft, remained pressed together with no intention of opening.

The wind of March, still cold, was dyeing So Kihyun’s pale cheeks red. I did not interpret that as a blush for me. Even after hearing those words, I realized something from his chilly gaze.

So Kihyun intended to leave me again. Leaving me with nothing but a heart-lightening confession. That reached me before the words saying he liked me.

—You crazy bastard. You… you forgot that you’re a Beta, didn’t you?

How can you say such a thing. When you know how much I hate that. …Yes, the problem was that he knew. So Kihyun was saying it now even while knowing that. Even while knowing very well that I don’t just dislike it, but loathe it. As if it didn’t matter if I rejected him—rather, as if if I rejected him, he would disappear from this place and never show up before my eyes again.

A curse came out, and at the same time, I gagged. The fucked-up part was myself, being erect. Cho Yeonoh, the Alpha, whose genitals hardened immediately at the fact that So Kihyun, the Beta, loved him. Wow, fuck, it’s perfect. Cho Yeonoh could only marvel internally.

You won, Seongheon. I felt like I wanted to give my trash-like father a round of applause. But at the same time.

—Fine.

—…

—Let’s do it, the dating.

You damn selfish bastard. Cho Yeonoh resented So Kihyun to his heart’s content.

I wanted to give you better things. Not something like this. Only with things I had chosen and gathered after blowing away the dust and drying them in a sunny spot before packaging them.

You are the one who rejected that. No, you’re the one who threw it into the gutter.

“But Kihyun, how am I supposed to love you.”

I told you I wanted to give you only good things. Not rotten things, not trash, but only things that are charming and pretty.

So Kihyun abandoned Cho Yeonoh once again. For me, there was nothing I could do.

⏳

In the night, I had a strange dream, and when I woke up in the morning, my underwear was damp.

Kihyun, realizing it was a nocturnal emission, could only shake his head in futility. In the end, he had to masturbate as soon as he woke up in the morning.

Regrettably, So Kihyun’s partner for masturbation was still Cho Yeonoh. To be precise, the night he spent with Cho Yeonoh. He thought it was ridiculous to be indebted to the person he had fled from, but no one else specifically came to mind. It was just close to a habit, like how his genitals curved slightly to the left because he always masturbated with his left hand.

…Otherwise, who else would he think of? Rather than the kind of porn that guys his age go crazy for, he lived being more aroused by the solid lower abdominals revealed when Cho Yeonoh would slightly lift his T-shirt in midsummer, saying it was hot, to wipe the sweat from his forehead.

That said, he wasn’t completely oriented toward men; if a lewd scene came up while watching a movie, he did have a reaction down there. Of course, since he wasn’t the passionate type to search for something just to masturbate once, So Kihyun’s only “side dish” ended up being his first experience.

He had no guilt. Cho Yeonoh didn’t even remember it, and even if the guy found out, what would he do besides vomit? It would be a terrible memory for the partner, but fortunately, since he was in a state of not remembering, Kihyun thought of it as simply a case where trash someone else threw away was still useful to him, so he picked it up and brought it home.

If there was a sin, it was the sin of the bastard who couldn’t remember; what sin could he possibly have?

Under the showerhead, it was easy to tense his forearm muscles while recalling that time. Because it was his first experience and it had been extremely stimulating, it wasn’t easily forgotten either. After finishing the business and watching his traces disappear down the drain, he was about to wash his hair and wipe his body when he felt something slimy between the cheeks of his buttocks.

“Aieee…”

When exactly will this unpleasant feeling go away? The liquid that had started coming out at some point now seemed to reach the point where it actually flowed. He could only think that living as an Omega was very inconvenient.

The doctor from the pheromone internal medicine department, whom he had visited for a consultation after learning of the pregnancy, had also warned him in a similar vein.

—A heat cycle will not come right now because of the pregnancy, but before long, you must be prepared for after the childbirth. Since you would have been a Beta male, you also need to be prepared for a life completely different from before.

At that time, he seemed to have vaguely thought of an Omega as a disability or an incurable disease. Therefore, he thought it meant he should endure the inconvenience caused by the disease or disability.

It was a ridiculous thought. “Omega” was a three-letter term used to mean that the functions his body enjoyed were not decreasing, but rather that things he himself didn’t know about could suddenly happen within his body.

The fact that this kind of vaginal-like fluid comes out from behind is one such thing. To think that it wets the back of his underwear when he is sexually aroused.

“Fuck, I’m going to become a bed-wetter at this age.”

A sigh came out, and then, realizing he had just cursed, he pressed his palms firmly against his lower abdomen. As if telling the child not to listen. Then, feeling his own action was foolish, a hollow laugh escaped. Kihyun suppressed the laughter, turned off the shower water, and left the bathroom.

Today was a holiday. It was because Yang Jisu said he would go out to the house in his place for once in a while. Kihyun took out the most decent clothes he had brought here, put them on, went out to the town, stopped by the hospital, and reported the progress of the past few days.

“I’m taking the medicine consistently, but I have a slight feeling of nausea.”

The doctor, watching Kihyun sitting in a neat posture and speaking, let out a “Hmm” from his throat.