An Obsessive Man Raised Impurely Chapter 9 - Part Two: Permeating(5)

It was a few days later.

When even the quietly shining moonlight and the fluttering wind had fallen asleep, only the stillness of the breaking dawn remained. Lilian’s bedroom door opened quietly. A small squirrel peeped its head through the slightly opened gap.

“Lillian.”

“…”

“Are you sleeping by any chance?”

“…”

Instead of answering, what came back was the sound of Lillian’s even breathing. After pondering for a moment, Hadelion whispered, ‘Excuse me’ and took a step in cautiously. He walked over to her as she slept soundly in her bed.

“I haven’t been able to sleep so I came. Because you said I could…”

There was no reply. Hadelion leaned on the bedside to look at her with her small hand resting on her chin. His eyes were filled with only her. The breath he inhaled was full of her exhaled breath.

“Just a moment, I’ll leave after a moment. I won’t do any nonsense. I know it’s rude to be next to you when you’re sleeping, but… I had a really hard time falling asleep today.”

The unheard voice continued muttering. The moon was exceptionally bright. He had been plagued by his mother’s ghost which had become clearer recently. He came to Lillian because he was afraid to sleep. He was so scared a little while ago. Oddly enough, she seemed to calm him just by being next to him.

On top of the slightly lowered eyelashes, the subtle moonlight fell like flower dust. 

“Mmm…”

She tossed and turned, perhaps because of the hair that tickled her eyelids. He gently reached out his hand and brushed it away, whispering.

“You know what? It was the first time I thought that I wanted to recover my mana quickly.”

His gaze was captured by the woman’s soft, delicate lips, which were slightly opened. He recalled the words she had whispered through those fine lips. As if someone were casting a spell, the words were engraved deeply in his heart, unable to be erased. Rather, it reminded him of a nightmare that had haunted him from a very young age. Twenty years ago.

When his mother abandoned him, everyone rejoiced and celebrated the arrival of the new Archmage, who seemed to appear once in a thousand years. But it was the beginning of hell for him.

“Because you were born as a dog of the royal family, be gentle and behave like a dog.”

Only because his mana potential was limitless, he was compelled to sacrifice for the sake of the Empire and the Imperial Family.

“Remember well. The day you become a dog that bites its master will be the day your head falls off.”

Through a ‘contract’ with the Imperial Family, he lived a thoroughly controlled life and lost his freedom.

“Your magical powers and that lowly body are not yours, but all belong to this great bloodline, the Oborduz. So don’t dream vainly.”

After that, except on special days, he was confined alone to the northern tower of the Imperial family. 

A life in complete control.

He couldn’t even interact with people as he intended, and only rumors about him were heard. It was another prison created by loneliness. 

As he recalled the memories he had laid at the bottom of his unconscious mind, he felt a tingling sensation around his ankle. He lowered his gaze calmly. Blue bruises from being shackled for a long time were clearly visible on the thin ankles.

“Originally, I always thought that I didn’t want my mana to recover after this.”

“…”

“Then, the Emperor’s interest in me would not diminish. Then maybe I’ll be a little more free. With that in mind, I prayed that my mana would be restored as late as possible.”

“…”

“But Lillian…”

Hadelion paused for a moment and looked at her slumbering form.

“I want to recover quickly.”

Blue flames flashed in his eyes.

“I want to do it because of Lillian. I want to return to my original form quickly and be with Lillian.”

The dark veil of night was filled with moonlight. The scattered silver dust flowed through the window into the room.

“Of course, I don’t know if Lillian will allow that…”

The subtle moonlight touched him and turned blue. As the bright blue mana was absorbed into every nook and cranny of his body, subtle changes appeared in his body.

“A bit.”

A bit higher than before. Looking at his slightly grown limbs, he muttered to himself.

‘I have… almost recovered.’

He looked at his palm then suddenly shifted his gaze to Lillian on the bed.

“Maybe, for the first and last time in my life, it’s okay for me to be a bit greedy?”

After that, his gaze stayed there for a long time before the vision disappeared.

 

*      *      *

 

The smell of freshly baked bread wafted down the hallway and into the room. The fragrant smell ran into the tip of my nose, driving me out of my morning sleep. Even though I had gone to bed early last night, my body felt heavier than usual.

I soon found out why.

“Hadel.”

It was because Hadelion was sleeping, leaning at an angle at the foot of the bed. I seemed to have been affected by his mana. I stared at him clasping my fingers tightly. He had only touched a finger all night but my body felt so heavy as if I had put a water-soaked cotton blanket over my shoulders.

‘When my strength is this weak, just touching it lightly like this is enough. What will happen to me if you find your original strength?’

My lowered eyelashes fluttered slightly. I didn’t even dare to choose death on my own, so I was determined to borrow strength from others. I was afraid because it seemed like it was going to become a reality soon. How amusing.

‘…Disgusting.’

A coward and a hypocrite. I didn’t like my selfish and self-centered self, the exact opposite of ‘Hadel’s Girl.’

‘I wish I had the same personality as the female lead, Lucy. If so…’

Realizing my thoughts like that was uncomfortable. In my previous life, I chased the shadow of ‘my little sister,’ and now I’m chasing the shadow of ‘Lucy.’ Circumstances have changed, but I remained the same. 

The illusion that I had fallen into an endless swamp from which I couldn’t escape dominated me. The more I struggled, the deeper I fell–

‘Because I… Because my existence is necessary for everyone to shine except me.’

The ‘discrimination’ that repeated over the years had finally mended my world as pleased.

“…you awake?”

Waking up sluggishly, Hadelion’s eyes widened suddenly.

“Lily…, Lillian. Are you alright?”

“What.”

“Your complexion doesn’t look good.”

You are the one who slept in an uncomfortable position.

He jumped up, touched my forehead, and frowned.

“You have a very bad fever. I’ll call the doctor.”

“It’s fine.”

“Lillian, this is not the time to be stubborn. You’re several times hotter than when you’re ill…”

“I said it’s fine. I’ll stay like this.”

Hadelion was unnecessarily kind that morning, so I couldn’t be rational.

“Come on.”

“Yes?”

With my eyes slightly crinkled as if saying “I’m off her arm.” I urged him. He suddenly sat on the bed and looked at me with a very nervous expression on his face.

“Wha– what is it?”

“Like this.”

I embraced him without warning, I felt his body stiffen in my arms.

“Li- Lillian. Wait– wait a minute. Too close…”

“Don’t nag me… my head is ringing.”

I held him tightly in my arms and rested my forehead on his shoulder. Even without looking at him, I could tell by the temperature I felt through the nape of my neck. Hadelion’s face must be bright red. 

Yeah, it was grumpy. Seeing him not knowing what to do, this time my mind, not my body, became as heavy as a wet cotton blanket. In my fever-hazed hazy mind a genuine refusal flashed by.

‘I hope the original story never starts.’

Gradually, my body became heavy. 

Maybe it’s because I’m getting closer to him? Mana seems to be affected by emotional changes.

The stronger his heartbeat, the stronger the mana transmitted through Hadelion.

“Then please allow me to use magic.”

“What’s the magic for?”

“You’re too hot right now, Lillian.”

“You say you don’t like to use magic for other people.”

“Lillian is not other people.”

“Don’t spend mana needlessly.”

“It’s okay, I’ll just reduce the fever a bit, so I won’t consume that much.”

“It is said if wizards use up all their magical power, it will hurt to death.”

“Are you worried?”

“I’m drawing a line in advance because I’m afraid that you will get sick and say it’s my fault.”

I said it bluntly and deliberately, but he smiled as if he liked it. 

He really is a fool.

“Thank you for your concern, Lillian.”

“No worries.”

“It’s okay though. Because I have more mana than you think.”

“If anyone hears you, they will think you’re an archmage.”

He faltered in surprise. Just as I turned my gaze away from him, who was taking a quick glance, I heard a knock outside the door.

“Lillian, you seem to be up, so I’ll come in.”

It was Archduke Grey who entered without warning. He found the two of us stuck together in bed and stiffened.

“…”

“You have come.”

“What kind of situation is this? I think I need an explanation.”

I didn’t know Archduke Grey’s expression could be so frightening. He was always a person who spoke with infinite tenderness to me. However, the voice that questioned Hadelion was as cold as ice.

“No, I don’t even need an explanation. I can’t stand it any longer…”

Archduke Grey was talking, but I couldn’t understand anything because I was getting dizzier and dizzier. 

As I passed out, I think a thought popped in my mind.

‘…When you find out that I’m a fake Lillian, you’ll treat me the same way.’

It felt like my heart was being packed in cold ice. 

The strength in the arms holding Hadellion slowly loosened.

Before long, my mind sank into deep darkness.

 

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