Heavy Rain Chapter 53

I did not hear the sound of the door opening, but suddenly a low voice was heard by my side. As I stayed still, blinking my hazy eyes, a somewhat cautious touch grabbed his blanket and pulled it down slightly.

“….”

“Do not starve yourself; eat something.”

When I barely managed to open my eyes, two blue eyes were looking down at me. It was a height similar to yesterday.

Suddenly, I felt as if I could perceive Lyle’s pheromones. This was despite the fact that he was clearly keeping his pheromones tightly under control right now.

Because of that overbearing situation yesterday, my energy had been drained, and I had not been able to eat all day. Whenever I recalled that situation, my strength kept slipping away. It was as if the tiny speck of emotion I had managed to gather by eating well for a few days had been swept away again by a tidal wave. It was an immense amount of pheromones, far too much to blow away his emotion that did not even amount to a handful.

Even so, Haejin would sometimes receive a strange feeling when he was floating through dreams. At the time, he had certainly been terrified that Lyle would embrace him while ignoring his will. However, the more he chewed over the pheromones that remained on him like an afterimage, the stranger he felt.

Specifically, because the thought occurred to him: could he really have harmed me?

It was a peculiar thing. This strange feeling was a sensation similar to when he first realized the existence of pheromones in his life. It was the kind of mysterious touch that intuition realizes first, even if it cannot be explained with words.

But why did Lyle suddenly disappear as if he were running away? And with such a pained face at that.

“….”

Whenever he recalled that face, Haejin felt an obligatory sense of rejection. In truth, was it not a matter that Haejin needed to ponder deeply? It was an undeniable fact that he had intimidated Haejin again.

Furthermore, it seemed he had no intention of letting him go until the three months were up. When he recalled that violent reaction, his body would stiffen of its own accord again. Then, Haejin would quickly let go of the strange sensation that had briefly buoyed him and sink further and further down.

“I will never do such a thing again, so… please, eat.”

While he was lost in other thoughts for a moment, Lyle’s eyes had suddenly come close. This was because, unexpectedly, he had knelt on one knee to match his eye level with the lying Haejin.

That gaze, meeting him directly, was unfamiliar. He thought this situation was bizarre as well. Lyle’s pheromones, which were absurdly warm despite being poured out overbearingly, brushed the tip of his nose again.

However, Haejin eventually closed his eyes. To handle problems he could not understand, he had too little left within him.

“Whew….”

Lyle let out a sigh as he returned to the mansion. For several days, Haejin’s condition had been somewhat subtle.

He still sat on the bed like a doll, like someone who had lost his soul. However, when the Butler or the servants brought food, he seemed to show movements of trying to eat a little. Even so, the amount he ate was still not enough to satisfy.

Nevertheless, Lyle could not hide his strangely anxious heart. It was because Haejin’s appearance looked exactly like a machine that was reluctantly accepting everything. Looking at those pheromones that settled on the floor as if dead, this intuition was likely not wrong.

Thanks to that, Lyle had to feel as if he were a man with a noose around his neck all day long. He deliberately split his time to visit Haejin every morning and evening. In his heart, he wanted to shove food right in front of his nose and tell him to eat more, but he could not bring himself to do that carelessly, as it felt like he would be forcing a meal again.

Every time he visited, the most he could do was repeat the words that such a thing would not happen in the future. This was despite the fact that Haejin himself had not asked for anything.

Unlike Haejin, who was eating food even if by force, this time Lyle himself ended up skipping meals. It was because whenever he recalled the boy’s completely shattered pheromones, he strangely felt as if every single one of his cells was bursting.

What should I do?

The most likely solution would be to let Haejin go wherever he wanted. However, Lyle could not help but encounter a problem as large as the greed within him. Would Haejin actually be able to protect himself properly if he went out?

Lyle had already confirmed once before what kind of state Haejin was in when he wandered after going outside. No matter how much it was because he was fleeing from him, Haejin’s situation when he was found was clearly not normal.

He felt that if he discovered the boy lying in a filthy motel while malnourished again, this time his mind really would turn. Therefore, at the very least, he had to instill the will to eat.

He needed the assurance that, if he were to lose the boy, the boy would not just wither away somewhere. His sense of responsibility, joined by this self-loathing, kept rebuking him.

While he was organizing his thoughts in frustration for a long time, the secretary sitting in the front passenger seat spoke to him.

“Are you troubled by the matter of Mr. Bright?”

“Yes.”

Since it was a recurring issue for several days, the secretary’s reasoning was unhesitating. After deliberating for a moment, he cautiously threw a piece of advice to Lyle.

“How about changing the environment a little? Since he stays inside his room every day, would it not be good to have a meal while getting some fresh air?”

“Hmm.”

“It so happens that they say the sun will come out tomorrow for a change. And the morning schedule can be cleared.”

“…I see.”

At the words that made sense, Lyle nodded his head readily. Suddenly, the image of Haejin looking down at him while opening a window on a sunny day came to mind.

What would the boy think of having a meal in the inner court?

I blankly admired the sky beyond the window. The sun shining down today could not be more brilliant. As I watched the blue sky reveal itself fully, a bell rang.

Haejin reflexively thought of Lyle.

“Yes.”

“….”

Sure enough, Lyle, perfectly dressed, opened the door to his bedroom and walked in. It was a recurring event, but Haejin felt a question every time. Why was he acting so strangely?

He expected that Lyle would urge him to eat well as usual, but unexpectedly, Lyle was silent. After observing Haejin’s face with a troubled expression for a long time, he eventually averted his gaze slightly.

As if it were difficult to speak while looking at him directly.

“Jin. I was thinking, how about having a meal outside today?”

At the sudden suggestion, Haejin raised his gaze, which had been resting on Lyle’s chest.

Of course, it was a rare day of good weather. So much so that even Haejin’s powerless eyes reached the brilliant garden in spite of himself. But was that something Lyle would specifically come by to suggest?

In the end, Haejin could not help but ask. Lyle acted strangely so consistently that even the exhausted Haejin could not easily dismiss the question.

“Why?”

“…Because you aren’t eating much.”

In his opinion, that was not a proper reason. However, he was confused as he read the desperation passing through Lyle’s body scent that drifted out faintly along with the words. He wondered if he was so broken that he could not even read pheromone signals properly.

“Just try it for now. If it is truly uncomfortable, I will leave the area for you.”

Haejin, who was observing those strange pheromones, nodded his head before he knew it. Lyle’s two eyes opened slightly wider, revealing his surprise.

Only after seeing that did I realize that this meant we were to have a meal together.

When I came outside, the weather was chillier than I thought. I had not known because I was only in my room, but the weather was already rushing toward winter. At the sudden rush of cold, Haejin had to force his feet, which would not move, to walk.

Regret flooded in from the moment he stepped out of the room. If he had known it meant a meal together, he would have refused. No matter how strangely Lyle acted, it did not serve as a reason to eat together. The pheromones he felt earlier also seemed to be nothing more than an illusion. This was because, right now, there was not a trace of Lyle’s pheromones, just like any other time.

Even so, it was an awkward thing to say it was unintentional when he had already come out. Because it was a chilly air that made it difficult even to breathe a sigh, Haejin simply moved forward mechanically. He did not know what kind of whim this was, but he intended to go and make a show of picking at the food reasonably.

Sometimes, he felt a sensation as if someone had squeezed all the moisture out of his insides and left them dry.

“Do your legs hurt?”

“…No.”