A Survival Guide for a Counselor in the Apocalypse Chapter 123 - End of "Bernhardt’s Mansion" Arc

Chapter 123

 

After eating a simple meal and falling asleep again, Lee Hoin moved to the back seat.

Still sitting in the driver’s seat, I sent a private message to Shin Giyeon.

 

—

Me

Shin Giyeon, do you have time? (11:30 PM)

—

 

About five minutes later, Shin Giyeon replied.

 

—

Shin Giyeon

Huh? Why? (11:35 PM)

 

Me

Haven’t you been moving along the upper route until now?

Gangdong, Guri, Nowon… around the northern outskirts of Seoul? (11:30 PM)

 

Shin Giyeon

Ah~ yeah, that’s right (11:36 PM)

 

Me

Then, when you went further along the outskirts up there, did you happen to see a small person wearing something like a green robe??

Around 150 cm? 140? Something like that? Carrying a big bag (11:36 PM)

—

 

Shin Giyeon didn’t reply for a moment. It seemed like they were thinking.

 

—

Shin Giyeon

An old man? The one who wears glasses

Uh… how should I put it?

The one with goat legs? (11:38 PM)

—

 

I wasn’t completely sure when they asked if it was an old man, but the moment they mentioned the legs, I knew.

It was Sochek.

I immediately replied.

 

—

Me

Yeah, that person

Where did you see him? (11:38 PM)

—

 

Shin Giyeon answered simply.

Bukseoul Dream Forest.

That was pretty far.

He wouldn’t just stay there, so it would be best to head near that area first.

I tapped on my phone for a while.

 

—

Shin Giyeon

Are you coming here? (11:40 PM)

—

 

Instead of asking why I was looking for that person or how I knew them, Shin Giyeon asked if I was coming to Bukseoul Dream Forest.

They didn’t ask much.

Almost always.

‘Are they just perceptive?’

Or do they think detailed explanations aren’t necessary?

I just answered yes.

 

—

Shin Giyeon

Then we’re still here.

If you have time, let’s meet for a bit.

Feels like there’s something we should talk about… (11:42 PM)

 

Me

Okay (11:42 PM)

—

 

On a whim, I turned around.

Lee Hoin was still asleep.

Still.

 

***

 

Nam Muyeong was different from him.

Lee Hoin knew that.

At a glance, there were too many differences.

He was smaller than him. Weaker.

Strength, of course, and speed too.

Because of the large difference in physical ability, he lagged far behind in that aspect.

— 

“Everyone has something they’re good at. That’s why people live together. If a single person could do everything well on their own, there’d be no need for people to gather. Living is about filling in each other’s shortcomings. Just look at Mom. She’s short and not very strong. But Dad is very tall and strong, right? And Dad isn’t good at finding his way. But Mom is.”

— 

 

A warm voice, filled with affection, echoed as it stroked his head.

 

— 

“That’s just how it is. Hoin, you’re strong like your dad. Then your friends might not be as strong as you, but they’ll be better at something else, right?”

— 

 

Words he had heard when he was young.

And now, as an adult, it was something he naturally understood.

The gap in talent differs for everyone.

If Lee Hoin’s talent lay in the physical, then Nam Muyeong’s lay in thinking.

Lee Hoin quietly closed his eyes and thought.

Being smart… yes, he knew, through his mother, how far someone perceptive and intelligent could go.

‘…I know that.’

And yet, something kept bothering him.

It didn’t feel like it was just sharp perception, quick judgment, and intelligence.

It felt like something more.

Like he could see ahead.

Like he already knew everything.

And…

‘He does everything alone.’

It felt like his head had already calculated all possible outcomes of any action.

It was fascinating.

Was it?

No… beyond fascinating, it was eerie.

‘How?’

We were doing abnormal things in an abnormal world.

So how could he act as if he could calculate all the benefits and losses that would follow, down to the margin of error?

That went beyond simply being smart…

 

— 

“Observation-related skills.”

“I don’t know exactly how these skills are formed, but they’re probably based on what ‘I’ have experienced and done. Same with traits.”

“I was planning to become a psychological counselor. My first, second, and third choices were all psychology majors. That’s why I have a space like this.”

“Do you know what intuition is? It’s the big data accumulated through observation sending out warning signals.”

“I liked observing.”

—

 

Back then, the Lee Hoin he had seen didn’t seem like someone who was lying.

Still, he hadn’t fully believed in what he said about “intuition” or “perception.”

Even so, he accepted it.

Because…

It was the first time that guy had explained something to him.

At least, the act of trying to prove and make him understand something gave meaning to the idea of being “together.”

So he accepted it.

Even afterward, the guy tried to explain things, but always within restrained limits.

That actually felt worse.

Not exactly unpleasant… but it felt bad.

Like not being acknowledged.

Like just being a tool standing beside him, used for strength.

Yes, that kind of feeling.

So Lee Hoin asked.

What exactly was going on?

 

—

“What do you mean? What am I thinking? The same thing you always thought.”

—

 

What did that mean?

 

—

“The thoughts you had before you became what you are now.”

—

 

What exactly do you know?

 

—

“Your past is the same as my present.”

—

 

How much do you know?

 

—

“That’s why it’s interesting. Whether I’ll pass through this moment and become you, or something else entirely… You hold the story of that branching point.”

—

 

Just what…

Who are you?

Saying his memories were fragmented was a lie.

Lee Hoin simply wanted to know.

If he asked those questions, what kind of answer would he get?

Everything from beginning to end?

Or, like always, just something partial?

 

—

“I said I wanted to go to their space. And I made that wish.”

—

 

He wasn’t sure what he felt every time Nam Muyeong chose to speak vaguely instead of directly.

His emotions were subtle.

Nam Muyeong had done too much to say he was just using him as a tool.

But if asked whether he truly respected him fully, the answer wasn’t that either.

In this subtle gap, Lee Hoin couldn’t figure out what he was supposed to feel.

Should he be angry?

He owed too much to be angry.

Should he ask how long he planned to keep hiding things?

But at least some answers had been given.

So…

‘I…’

What am I supposed to think?

It even felt like a spoiled complaint.

Just as the status window mocked, maybe he was complaining despite receiving help that others could never even imagine.

When his life had been on the line, he wouldn’t have had the luxury to think like this.

Lee Hoin quietly looked at the back of Nam Muyeong’s head as he handled his phone.

He felt isolated.

Like he was being used as a tool.

Of course, if he followed Nam Muyeong, he always survived.

Whether Nam Muyeong saw him as a tool or excluded him, one thing was certain…

Nam Muyeong always kept him alive.

He knew that.

He did know that.

So even when unpleasant feelings rose, the moment he realized that he had survived this long because of Nam Muyeong, guilt flooded in.

Everything was confusing.

Maybe it would’ve been better if he just told him…

Even if it was something hard to believe.

Would that have been better?

‘…What are they even talking about now?’

Lee Hoin quietly looked at Nam Muyeong’s phone screen.

What were they talking about?

What was he not being told?

He was curious about that.

He didn’t want to doubt.

He didn’t want to suspect.

So he hoped whatever Nam Muyeong was hiding wasn’t a big deal.

He stared at the chat window.

Nam Muyeong seemed lost in thought again.

Normally, he wouldn’t miss something like this.

Because of that, it was easy to see what he was talking about.

‘Green robe? 150? 160? Big bag?’

Who was that?

For a moment, he thought it might be the man from Gaehwasan, but then…

“An old man?”

Lee Hoin frowned.

They hadn’t met any old man even once since coming here.

The only old man they had seen was…

‘…That person is over 190 cm tall.’

He kept watching.

Goat legs?

Who was that?

And how did he already know who it was and go looking for him?

‘…Did he hear it from that guy?’

Back in that space, before he fainted, there hadn’t been anything like that.

So did he hear it after he fainted?

If he did, why didn’t he tell him?

‘I asked where we were going too.’

Lee Hoin lay back down and turned his back.

His mind was complicated.

Why was he being excluded?

Why wasn’t he being told properly?

Why was there so much that only Nam Muyeong knew?

Were the things he had told him until now even true?

The window kept mocking him, saying he was being ungrateful.

Maybe that was true.

Lee Hoin’s life had always been simple.

Enemy or ally.

One of the two.

But Nam Muyeong’s actions felt like neither.

‘He treats me well.’

He was certain Nam Muyeong wouldn’t kill him.

And yet, why did he feel this impatience, this anxiety, this resentment?

He thought about it for a long time.

And then, Lee Hoin realized one thing.

Because the window kindly told him.

 

—

[You…

[Are growing impatient because you are not being acknowledged as an equal companion by Nam Muyeong.]

[You are afraid of being a replaceable companion.]

[Because there is little that you have achieved on your own.]

—

 

The emotions he couldn’t sort out were instantly defined.