Chapter 75
Shin Yerim’s hands trembled as she stood among the swarm of busy people.
No matter how many she treated, it never changed. Treat one, and three more wounded arrived. Treat three, and seven were carried in.
She no longer remembered how many people’s blood she had handled. Her fingertips, caked with dried blood, ached. She couldn’t tell whether it was phantom pain or real.
Her hands, disinfected again and again with alcohol to touch wounds, felt like they were rotting.
This was hell. It was hell.
What… what was she even supposed to do?
‘I have to go out and fight….’
Me? How? What could I even do?
She was small, short. What she usually heard from patients and the people of Hermadion was always the same:
“Is it okay for a child to be working?”
The average height of people in Hermadion was tall, even the women were over 180 cm. Even those people were being carried in wounded. What could she possibly do out there?
A crushing sense of helplessness weighed down on her.
Are we even winning? Even if we win.. if this many people are hurt and suffering, what does winning even mean?
—
“This world is ruined. Ever since we lost him, it’s completely fallen apart… This is a colorless, odorless, dying world.”
—
The words she had once overheard from Leon Wolf while passing by Nam Muyeong’s room resurfaced in her mind.
Shin Yerim moved in a daze, pushing through the people outside the medical tent, against the flow, climbing up the walls.
She looked down.
Countless people were fighting to hold the gates.
‘A colorless, odorless, dying world….’
She stared blankly at their faces.
And then a thought struck her.
Why… why do these people not wipe them out, even though they know those things will keep coming?
Because they’re too busy defending? Even so, if they want a future…
‘Shouldn’t they find the nest and eradicate them…?’
Why they come, what draws them here, shouldn’t that be the first thing to figure out?
Why do they do nothing but defend?
Why only defense?
‘It’s not that they’re afraid to go outside the walls….’
Going outside didn’t mean instant death. Hunters often went beyond the walls for supplies, and after battles, people went out to recover bodies and clean up.
But that was all.
They never pursued the enemy to wipe them out.
Why?
To Shin Yerim, it made no sense.
As she stared down, another phrase came to mind.
—
“Even that great one was devoured for the cause. You, who aren’t even great, dare to speak of that cause?”
—
A devoured cause. A fallen justice. A lost hero.
Then what are these people fighting for?
For tomorrow? Just to survive another day?
No. If not survival, then what?
What are they dying for?
She couldn’t understand anything.
Humans usually have a purpose. The most basic need is physiological… hunger. The purpose of fulfilling that is survival.
‘Next is…’
Safety, the desire to avoid danger.
Do they have that?
They clearly do. They feel pain when hurt. They work to eat.
Then why, when they pick up weapons…
As she studied their faces, a shocking realization struck her.
‘They ask to be saved.’
They ask to be saved, yet do not refuse death.
They don’t long for victory.
All of this, it was like a play.
No…
Their faces carried something closer to resignation.
Win or lose, it didn’t matter.
—
“This world is ruined. Ever since we lost him, it’s completely fallen apart….”
—
She finally understood those words.
They were alive, but not truly living.
Why? Why?
Everything felt disconnected from the life she knew.
They laughed, sang, ate, slept…
So why?
Why swing weapons in resignation?
Was this the act of the living, or the dead?
She couldn’t understand anything. She felt suffocated.
“…Ugh….”
What should she do?
Are we just going to die here?
She suppressed the nausea rising in her throat.
Then slowly, she went back down.
She returned to the medical tent and continued her work.
Treating patients. Changing bandages. Replacing water.
Relentlessly saving people.
Even so, her mind remained filled with questions.
Then…
Johanna entered the tent briefly to treat minor injuries.
Everyone was busy, so Shin Yerim ended up treating her directly.
Silently working…
Until she finally spoke.
“…Ex, excuse me. C-can I… ask a question…?”
She knew how foolish it was to ask something like this now. How emotional it was.
She thought Johanna might snap at her.
But she couldn’t stop.
She truly wanted to know.
If a hero dies, does the world die too?
Then why?
What even is a “dead world”?
“…Speak.”
Johanna granted permission.
Shin Yerim froze.
No anger. No ridicule.
Just calm acceptance.
“Why… why don’t you pursue them to the end? Why… why does this night… keep repeating…?”
Why repeat this death?
What is the end of all this?
“I don’t know how much I can explain. But what you see now is only a fragment of the world I live in.”
A fragment?
What did that mean?
“When you came here, you were given a mission. We are similar.”
Similar.
Shin Yerim recalled the message she saw before arriving.
Survive for 30 days.
So they had missions too.
“Which is why we only defend.”
It still made no sense.
What did having a mission have to do with only defending?
Like them, were they just meant to survive for a set time?
When their mission ends, they return.
Then these people?
‘A fragment….’
Do they return, too?
Is this place just a stage?
Then the people who die here…
Do they come back?
She felt a small sense of relief.
“…Th-then… the dead… people…”
Johanna gave a bitter smile.
“In your world, you’ve had ‘events,’ haven’t you?”
Shin Yerim nodded nervously.
“When people died there, did they return after the event ended?”
It was phrased as a question, but the meaning was clear.
They didn’t return.
And yet…
These people fought knowing that.
Every moment, breaking apart in resignation.
What kind of mission required this?
If they had a mission, shouldn’t they strive to succeed?
Why… why?
Her mind filled with questions.
Her chest sank heavily.
She couldn’t breathe.
“H-how… h-how are we supposed to…?”
“You’re already doing more than enough. I’ve heard the reports. You’ve saved many lives. My thanks came late. Because of you, my soldiers still breathe.”
Gentle encouragement settled on her shoulders.
A soft pat.
As she felt that touch, Shin Yerim thought blankly…
These are people from another world.
Once the event ends, they’ll never meet again.
And yet…
‘Why… does my chest feel so tight and sad?’
It wasn’t pity.
It was something deeper.
It hurt that they weren’t acting differently.
She wished they would.
She wished they would attack instead.
—
“Wow, you’re really skilled with your hands. You pick things up fast.”
“You’re too skinny. Eat more. I’ll give it to you for free.”
“So what if you stutter? As long as we understand you. So, is the treatment done?”
“Tsk, if you want to climb a ladder, you should check if it’s set properly. You’ll only learn after cracking your skull?”
—
Their words overlapped with Johanna’s.
Her thoughts became clear.
Shin Yerim liked these people.
Their casual kindness.
Their natural praise.
Their quiet patience.
So…
She wanted to save them.
To give back the kindness they had shown her.
That’s why.
That’s why…
[Synchronization: 98%]
Related Series
Comments (1)
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Omo, so she will stay?