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Author: nicotine

The sweeter the fruit, the more foully it tends to rot.

That was how he and I were back then.

Seong Yeohwi stood here to confirm the end of his personal hell.

The damn first love he had chased through nightmares every single night.

He had returned after four years to ruin that hypocritical moment—the moment where that malicious man, dressed in a formal wedding suit, promised eternity to someone else.

‘You killed me because you were blinded by money, and now you’ve found another victim?’

He suppressed the urge to leap onto the platform immediately and break that bewitching man’s neck.

He couldn’t. This grand revenge play had only just raised its curtain.

And Dowon was the protagonist who had to survive within it in the most painful way possible.

When the grand melody reached its climax, Seong Yeohwi stepped out from the shadows. The gasps and murmurs of the guests crashed over him like a wave.

Finally, Dowon—bathed in all the light of the world—spotted him and froze.

In the young and pure past, just looking at that face would make his heart flutter until he couldn’t breathe.

Seong Yeohwi walked down the virgin road slowly, as if crossing the threshold of hell, and stood before the platform. Then, he smiled softly at Dowon.

“Honey, you shouldn’t be having an affair.”

He pulled a worn, faded ring from his pocket and threw it at the frozen face.

It was a wedding ring.

“We’ve never actually divorced. Isn’t that right, dear?”

‧₊˚🍊༉‧₊˚.

The bathroom was filled with thick steam.

The sensations across his body felt foreign. Even the sound of dripping water echoed with a sense of alienation.

After washing himself in the marble tub for a long time, Seong Yeohwi emerged wrapped in a large white robe and looked in the mirror. When he wiped the fogged surface with his palm, a nervous young man stood within it.

Wet brown hair. Cheeks flushed red from the hot water. Shoulders that ached at the joints every night due to a sudden growth spurt.

He was handsome enough to stand out even in a crowd, but he still hadn’t shed his boyish air.

‘Hand first… I should hold his hand first, right? And then create an atmosphere through conversation.’

What a couple should do on their first night.

He already knew everything, but whether it was because of the heat or extreme nerves, his heart was pounding out of control.

“Young master, if you are ready…”

“Yes, I’m coming out.”

The voice of the elderly housekeeper drifted in from outside the door. He couldn’t stall any longer. Because he would be waiting for him.

Rattle. Opening the door, Yeohwi headed toward the deepest part of the mansion along the long hallway.

It was the bedroom of the man who would be—no, who had already become—Seong Yeohwi’s legal spouse.

The heavy bedroom door opened soundlessly.

The inside of the room was dark and chilly. In total contrast to the heat of the bathroom, even the air felt frozen.

And at the center of that chill, he saw a man.

Even though it was their first night, he wasn’t lying in bed. Leaning deep into an armchair on the left side of the room, he was staring out at the darkness through the window. Clad in a jet-black silk robe, the man looked like a part of the darkness itself.

Black hair that shone with a damp smoothness, much like Yeohwi’s. A jawline sharp enough to cut. Eyes that were dry and shadowed, as if he hadn’t slept for days.

Sensing a presence, he slowly turned his head.

“…”

Seong Yeohwi involuntarily held his breath.

For some reason, it felt like a statue was moving rather than a living human. A cold sensuality was gathered thickly upon him.

“Quite impressive. Knowing how to make a person wait.”

Dowon’s cold gaze swept over Yeohwi. Twelve years. It was a moment where the age gap between the two felt real. Standing before an adult man, he felt like a naked child.

Just as Yeohwi managed to twitch his stiff fingers, Dowon asked in a low voice.

“Do you usually take that long to wash?”

“Ah… yes. The bathroom was spacious.”

It was a nonsensical answer. Yeohwi wanted to take back the stupid words he had blurted out. Dowon neither mocked nor comforted the nervous Yeohwi.

His long fingers swept back his falling black hair. Slide. Yeohwi’s gaze was firmly caught, as if possessed, by the sight of the soft hair moving across the man’s forehead.

A brief silence. After letting the stretched-out time flow calmly, Dowon stood up from the chair.

“I don’t touch kids like you.”

“What?”

He spoke as if simply notifying him of a fact.

“It’s an arranged marriage. You must have come here knowing that.”

His eyes pierced Yeohwi’s trembling pupils with the precision of a spear.

“All we need is the legal binding, so don’t expect any unnecessary roles or emotions from each other.”

“…”

“Nothing will happen between you and me. Especially not sleeping together.”

So you waited all this time just to say that. The moment he realized this, Dowon brushed past Yeohwi’s shoulder. He intended to leave Yeohwi standing there alone in the bedroom.

But then—grab.

Driven by some unknown surge of confidence, his hand moved first. Yeohwi grabbed Dowon’s forearm and pulled him firmly toward himself.

If he let him go like this, this marriage would truly become nothing more than a restraint on paper.

A twelve-year age gap. He knew he looked like a mere child in Dowon’s eyes, but Seong Yeohwi was twenty this year. His body had grown enough. In fact, he was quite tall. When standing side-by-side with Dowon, their eye levels were nearly the same.

“No. What if something does happen?”

“What?”

The corners of Dowon’s eyes quivered. Yeohwi, catching his breath for a moment, questioned him outright.

“E-either way, isn’t an arranged marriage still a marriage? How can you be so stubborn as to say let’s not be a couple after getting married?”

“…”

“And we’re going to be seeing each other’s faces constantly from now on. It would be better if we got along well. Mister… Dowon-ssi, do you really dislike me that much?”

In those days when he was still green, young, and pure, the fruit of unripened, blue youth began with such a bitter taste.

Not a single bit gentle, but harshly.

“Ha…”

Slowly, almost as if he couldn’t believe it, Dowon turned his head and looked down at the hand gripping his clothes. Then he looked at the owner of that hand, Seong Yeohwi.

A complete orphan who had lost all his relatives. An upstart whose only possession was the inheritance left by Chairman Seong. Driven by a naivety that knew nothing of the world’s terrors and an untainted foolishness, he was making an obvious mistake.

Dowon, who had weathered the unfair, irrational, and bloody storms of the world, pried Yeohwi’s fingers off his arm one by one—not roughly, but firmly.

“If I like you, then what?”

His voice had dropped an octave lower than before.

It was laced with a terrible sense of boredom, as if he were trying to send away a child who had come running to play house.

“What are you going to do if I say I like you? Are you going to give me your body, your heart, and everything?”

“Do… do you really like me?”

“I asked what you’re going to do.”

Dowon’s gaze swept over Yeohwi leisurely.

Black pupils devoid of light. Beside a nose bridge high as a carved sculpture and appropriately raised cheekbones, damp black hair flowed down like rain-soaked branches.

Following that, a shadow modeled after him cast over Seong Yeohwi.

“Don’t tell me you think you’re a man, too.”

As he took a step closer, a smoky cedarwood scent brushed against Yeohwi’s cheek.

“Were you actually expecting a wedding night?”

“…”

“Fine. Let’s see what you can do. Try it.”

Seong Yeohwi couldn’t give a proper answer. He had a picture drawn in his head, but that was all.

He felt a surging heat rising from his neck. He didn’t know what to do and could only quiver his lips.

He felt a gaze looking down at him as if expecting exactly that. An expressionless face showing no emotion. It was dark and desolate enough to be terrifying because its depth was completely unknowable. However, Yeohwi didn’t want to let him go like this.

He grabbed Dowon’s hand again, this time more tightly. The man’s cold hand writhed inside Yeohwi’s hot palm.

“…Yes.”

Yeohwi pulled him in.

It was a stroke of luck that their eye levels were almost the same, so he didn’t have to stand on his tiptoes.

His own face was reflected in those cold, bewitching black eyes. Yeohwi hid his trembling and carefully brought his lips to the other’s.

It was his first kiss.

Touch him softly. Just as he had imagined.

However, a stupid thud sound rang out.

It was because he was so nervous that he had miscalculated the angle. Yeohwi’s teeth collided not with Dowon’s lips, but with the teeth behind them.

“Ah.”

He reflexively backed away at the stinging pain. Is it bleeding? His hands were busy checking. His face felt like it was on fire from the humiliation.

“Is that all?”

Without a hint of disarray, Dowon straightened the fit of his silk robe. He didn’t even touch his own lips. He simply looked bored.

v

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nicotine

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