To My First Love, With Regret (Libenia) – Chapter 1

Author: Libenia Editor: Piki

He is a nightmare that doesn’t end, no matter how loudly you scream.

And in the end, that terrible nightmare invaded Evelyn Sherwood’s reality.

The careless flick of cigarette ash. The rebellious smile that once made her heart race.

Everything was exactly the same as ten years ago—yet completely different.

The college student who once dreamed of a brilliant future was dead, and in his place returned the prince of the criminal underworld. Her first love—the man who shattered Eve’s heart before disappearing from her life, the one she had prayed never to meet again until the day she died—was now standing before the entrance to her wedding hall.

Ethan Fairchild.

You abandoned us and left, so why did you come back?

“Eve, who’s that scary soldier?”

The child’s clear voice forcibly thawed the time frozen around Evelyn. Instinctively, she tightened her grip around the little hand in hers.

At that exact moment, the man’s sharp gaze landed on the child.

“And who might this nasty little brat be?”

Evelyn desperately prayed to God.

Please… don’t let him realize this child is our son.

Lady Evelyn Sherwood.

The proud jewel of Kentrell and elder sister to the young duke.

The sole pillar supporting House Kentrell—the family he had spent the last ten years driving toward ruin.

And his damned first love.

The woman who had abandoned Ethan to prison finally appeared before him. Dressed in a blindingly white wedding gown, beautiful enough to feel cruel, ready to become another man’s wife.

Yes.

He had come to the second wedding of the woman who was once his wife.

To bring the final chapter of his revenge to completion.

The only reason he didn’t kill that damned woman immediately was because she remained an indispensable piece in his grand revenge.

The real obstacle was merely that arrogant little brat who resembled the Sherwoods too much, despite being only nine years old.

“How dare you call the Duke of Kentrell a brat!”

“Oh? Your Grace?”

If only you die, House Kentrell will finally become mine.

That day, Ethan Fairchild still didn’t know—

That in order to complete this terrible revenge, he would one day try to kill his own son.

The train that departed Richmond at dawn finally came to a stop at the edge of the land as the sun climbed toward its zenith.

The young man seated by the window lazily curled his lips as his eyes met the white bird perched atop the station sign.

A train station where seagulls fly instead of pigeons.

Not that he found the sight strange.

Anyone who thought a man with his refined appearance and polished university-student image had no connection to this rough port city would be completely mistaken.

Yeah. This is exactly what a hometown should feel like.

Only a few months had passed since Easter, so nothing had really changed. Ethan didn’t bother wasting time looking around.

“Well, look who it is.”

The moment he boarded the tram outside the station, he ran into a familiar face. The driver, an old friend of his father, stretched out a hand toward him.

“Ethan Fairchild! Cliffhaven’s pride and Kingsbridge University’s finest student!”

Back when he was still young enough to be embarrassed by praise, Ethan probably would’ve turned bright red.

But Ethan had long since grown accustomed to humiliation.

Without changing expression, he replied flatly,

“Not literally the finest.”

“If you exclude the ones who bought their grades with status and money, then you are.”

Perhaps worried those words might somehow reach the aristocrats in the castle atop the cliffs, the tram driver lowered his voice before awkwardly clearing his throat as if he’d said nothing at all.

Only then did the tram begin lazily rattling along the rails embedded in the road.

“Home for vacation?”

“Yeah.”

“What, Mr. Robinson and Becky didn’t come pick you up?”

Ethan’s home wasn’t just far from the station—it was isolated enough that neither trams nor buses ever reached it. To get into town, a carriage or motorcycle was practically necessary.

“Grandfather’s probably still asleep at this hour, and Becky’s working. I lied about my arrival time because I didn’t want to trouble them.”

“Good lad. You’re nothing like Jack. Thank God for that.”

Yeah. This really does feel like home.

A place where seagulls fly instead of pigeons, and where your father’s terrible reputation hits you like bird droppings everywhere you go.

“Jack kept asking where you were and what you’ve been doing, but I didn’t tell him anything. Just said you’ve been helping Mr. Robinson.”

“Thanks.”

“No need. How could I stand by and watch someone meant to shine up there get dragged down into the dark?”

As he spoke about “up there,” the driver pointed toward the castle towering beyond the tram window.

The castle itself was already out of sight.

Which meant they were close.

“Next stop: Castle Hill.”

Turning off the microphone, the driver glanced back.

“You getting off here?”

Ethan nodded.

The driver patted his shoulder before saying goodbye.

“Give my regards to your grandfather and Becky. I’ll buy you a drink later at the White Horse.”

Ethan didn’t want a drink later.

He wanted one right now.

The sharp sunlight pouring down from directly overhead felt like blades carving away every shadow. There wasn’t a patch of shade anywhere above him, and even the shadow beneath his feet looked pitifully short.

Climbing uphill while roasting alive under the early summer sun wasn’t exactly a wise idea.

And if you focus only on the summit, you’ll never reach it. The goal itself will crush you until you give up.

Ethan didn’t know why his grandfather’s old saying suddenly resurfaced on the road he’d once walked so often it made him sick.

He kept his gaze lowered until sweat-soaked blond hair started falling into his eyes.

The moment he brushed it aside and looked up—

He found himself staring directly at the dizzyingly tall fortress walls.

Though the castle gleamed copper beneath the blazing sun, it looked endlessly cold.

Probably because of its unnaturally perfect symmetry, almost completely devoid of curves.

Wasn’t it ironic for something built to protect humans to feel so inhuman?

Then again, the castle had never been built to protect ordinary people like Ethan in the first place.

So perhaps “inhuman” was the perfect word for it.

“You grew up seeing Kentrell Castle every day?”

Suddenly, he remembered the envious words of his roommate—the history fanatic who dreamed of becoming a historian.

“Kentrell Castle intimidated me more than any castle I’ve ever seen.”

Really?

I never once felt small looking at this castle.

The impregnable fortress that once protected the rulers of the land had become completely obsolete after the rise of artillery and the end of the Middle Ages. Now it was little more than a tourist attraction anyone could enter for the price of four beers.

So it shouldn’t have felt intimidating.

Unless you considered what was hidden behind those walls.

Following the road around the fortress revealed endless green fields stretched across white cliffs.

The owner of the castle no longer lived inside that grotesque structure that had long since lost its purpose.

Instead, the Duke of Kentrell resided in the mansion standing alone at the center of the fields—

White Cliff Hall.

Ethan stood at the top of the descending slope, staring down at it.

The mansion was breathtakingly beautiful and overwhelmingly majestic, dominating him even from below.

A paradise no one dared covet.

Where wild nature ended and Eden began, separated by towering walls of cypress trees planted to shield against the merciless sea winds.

Eden.

That was the secret name Ethan had given White Cliff Hall.

Because Eve lived there.

The only reason he could ever call this place—a hell he desperately wanted to escape from—anything resembling paradise.

The moment he remembered the private joke he had never dared say aloud, Ethan pressed a hand against his forehead.

A dizzy spell overtook him, stronger than even the scorching sunlight, blurring his vision.

“I think I could spend my whole life drawing your face and never grow tired of it.”

Ethan stood motionless in the middle of the road, eyes tightly shut, waiting for the cruelly indifferent voice of that girl to disappear from his mind.

Then his brows twisted sharply.

“Ned, faster!”

“Woo! This view is insane!”

The roar of an engine speeding up echoed from behind him.

Even through the chaotic mix of voices, Ethan instantly recognized who it was.

Those damned rich bastards.

He glanced around, but the empty road didn’t have a single tree to hide behind.

…Wait.

Why am I trying to hide?

He hadn’t done anything wrong.

There was no crime in a poor commoner attending the same university as the duke’s son.

Ethan stepped aside to let the car pass and silently continued walking along the roadside.