Pheromone Off Chapter 34

Ever since Seong Suhyun pushed him from the second floor during his childhood, his body had become frail. Though his height was not on the shorter side, he heard that he looked feeble often enough. He would get indigestion easily, and his hearing in one ear was bad. Once, while he was getting into a car, Seong Suhyun closed the car door without warning, injuring his ankle. It was severe enough to land him in the hospital, and perhaps because he was injured as a child, he could not run well even after growing up.

Perhaps due to the remains of this violence, Hajin was frequently sick and got hurt easily. Although he was twenty years old, whenever it rained, his ankle would throb first, and his injured ear would grow muffled.

Every time he was seriously injured, the adults attached countless excuses, saying that Suhyun was young, or that Suhyun had not matured yet. Seong Suhyun was the eldest son of the Seongsan Group. The atmosphere implied that even if he was seriously hurt, since Suhyun was the eldest son of the legal wife, there was plenty of reason for him to torment the concubine’s illegitimate son. So, he accepted it and lived on. While comforting himself that at least he didn’t starve, that is.

If the eldest twin son was the direct perpetrator, the second twin son, Seong Yeonwoo, was a bystander. Even when Hajin was being beaten by Seong Suhyun, he didn’t spare a single glance. When he rolled down from the second floor, Seong Yeonwoo watched the entire thing but did not take any action. And occasionally, he threw Hajin as prey to Seong Suhyun.

When he was young, he would sometimes hide whenever Seong Suhyun was home, but if Seong Yeonwoo happened to discover him, he would immediately report his location to Seong Suhyun. He was someone who regarded his very existence as unpleasant. He found it repulsive for Hajin to even touch his skin. Even if they accidentally brushed past each other, he could not hide a look of absolute horror.

An essential hatred. In that, Seong Yeonwoo was even higher than Seong Suhyun. A sense of hatred and disgust toward him. Hajin grew up feeding on the contempt of those two throughout his childhood and school days. Because of that, it had become natural for him to sit in a place like this like a pinned-down idiot.

“Try some of this.”

Hajin’s somewhat vacant gaze turned toward the dining table. To be precise, toward the food that Seong Yeonwoo was personally serving to Kwon Sayoung.

“Are you eating well? You must be busy with your inauguration ahead of you.”

To anyone looking, they would think those two were a couple ahead of marriage. Well, in reality that might be the case, but right now, the one who needed to look like the fiancé was him.

“Yeonwoo has such a good nature. Anyone looking would think the two of you are still dating.”

Watching that sweet display, Madam Shim let out a light laugh while sipping her wine, as if making a joke. And Madam Shim’s gaze, which had been scanning the two naturally, slid over and turned toward him sitting across from her. Under that gaze, where a somewhat suspicious air could be gleaned, Hajin swallowed his dry spit soundlessly. Cold sweat rolled down his spine of its own accord. Hajin hesitated, then pulled up the corners of his mouth.

“He is… eating well.”

Hajin countered Seong Yeonwoo’s words with an awkward smile. He could feel the atmosphere sinking quite a bit at his interruption, but contrary to Seong Yeonwoo’s icy demeanor, the gaze of Kwon Sayoung sitting next to him was rather different. It was a gaze where curiosity lingered, but Hajin treated this place as a filming set and continued speaking.

“But I think he originally has a rather small appetite… hyung does.”

Hajin purposefully looked toward Kwon Sayoung once more in a friendly manner. Kwon Sayoung had set down his utensils and was openly resting his chin on his hand, staring at him. His neck grew hot with embarrassment.

“I’m a bit worried about that….”

Hajin carried on speaking with a clumsy laugh. It was a presumptuous act, but he judged it necessary. In the first place, acting like this was the reason he was staying attached to him.

“I didn’t know you were worried.”

And as if he recognized that effort of his, he responded immediately. It was a voice laced with a bit of tenderness.

“Since I know you’re worrying, I guess I’ll have to try eating better.”

Though it was a nonchalant voice, he played along perfectly. When Hajin looked at him with slightly surprised eyes, he tilted his head a fraction.

“You eat properly too. Stop picking at your food.”

Then, pointing toward his own plate where the food had not decreased at all, he showed a consideration cloaked in indifference. It was a sign that he was paying attention to him. It seemed he knew full well that Hajin hadn’t properly touched his food. I know it’s acting, I know, but….

With a slightly flushed face, Hajin lowered his head and rubbed his forehead. Only then did Madam Shim’s gaze, which had been scanning him subtly, drop away. Instead, Seong Yeonwoo’s face—neither smiling nor angry, an expression Hajin was seeing for the first time—was turned toward him. It seemed that even he found it difficult to manage his expression upon seeing Kwon Sayoung and him playing a couple.

It was everyone’s own choice. Seong Yeonwoo’s choice to maintain his position as the lover of Kwon Sayoung, who insisted on pushing ahead with the engagement; and his own choice to accept a relationship with Kwon Sayoung, who would get engaged to him despite having a lover. Everyone had to take responsibility for and accept their own choices. No matter what sides of each other they had to witness.

࣪˖ ִֶָ🍇་༘

Swaaa.

Standing in front of the restroom sink, Hajin checked his face in the mirror. His reflection looked more exhausted than when he had waited twelve hours for a shoot. Acting was harder than he thought. To the point where he briefly regretted whether he had been too naive.

Perhaps he had thought of it a bit too simply. He had expected that pretending to get along and pretending to be a fiancé wouldn’t be easy, but he hadn’t known it would drain a person’s emotions and stamina so easily. Sure enough, a person had to experience things to truly know.

With a face full of exhaustion, Hajin washed off the water from his face. The immorality, the guilt, and despite all that, this emotion that fluttered for him—he wanted to wash it all away and escape. The reason he came to the restroom was also to breathe a bit more comfortably.

“You look like you’re having fun.”

Though it was a phrase laced with a laugh, it sounded chilly to Hajin’s ears. He could tell instinctively. Exactly how displeased Seong Yeonwoo was feeling.

“…I’m not having fun.”

Hajin spoke lowly, wiping the water from his face. There was no way he was having fun.

“Why? It’s great. Choosing the wedding suit to wear for the engagement ceremony, and living together harmoniously with your fiancé. It must be nice. Since these are the things you wanted.”

“…It’s all fake. The one dating him is you anyway, hyung.”

“Exactly. The real one is me, so why on earth do I have to watch that sight.”

“…”

“I’m glad you know it, at least.”

“…”

“That it’s all fake.”

He carried on speaking in a polite tone. He wasn’t shrill, nor was he fierce. In the calmest voice possible, he taught him one by one.

“Your place, it’s all fake. There is nothing real. That house you are living in, that position, and even the tiny bit of attention Sayoung gives you.”

“…”

“People are stupid. Foolish.”

“…”

“Even while knowing it isn’t real, they eventually fall in and regret it. This is advice I’m giving you as your hyung.”

“…”

“Don’t get delusions.”

“…”

“Because you will be the only one suffering from the obvious ending.”

Reminding him one by one of the things he already knew himself, his hyung did not spare the advice. He knew. He knew that if he continued this relationship, the one to get hurt would be himself, and that Seong Yeonwoo who watched would also find it hard.

Hajin envied him deep down. No, he had envied him ever since childhood. The way the entire family treasured him from head to toe, fearing he might get hurt or break. The way he possessed the attention and love of the whole family, as well as Kwon Sayoung’s heart. The way he was remarkable everywhere, the way he was beautiful. His half-brother was entirely made of things to be envied.

His words were right. He was a fake. A fake role replacing his envied hyung. A fake who, even while being a fake, fed on a tiny bit of the affection that belonged to that envied hyung.

“I know.”

Hajin spoke calmly. Then, with a sorrowful face, he formed a clumsy smile.

“That it all belongs to you, hyung.”

The one who knew his place better than anyone else in this world was himself.

However, a one-sided love.

It keeps making one want to cross the line. Making one want to step out of their place.

Making oneself look ugly.

࣪˖ ִֶָ🍇་༘

“Shall we meet at the hotel?”

It was around the time they came out of the restaurant after finishing their business. Madam Shim had run into an acquaintance in the restaurant and was talking inside for a bit, while Seong Yeonwoo and Kwon Sayoung were having a private conversation outside the restaurant.

Perhaps feeling that there was no one watching around them, Seong Yeonwoo caressed around Kwon Sayoung’s chest and asked suggestively.

“Another place is fine too.”

Even he, who was dense about this kind of thing, could tell what it meant. Hajin quietly hid his body.

“Not for a while.”

Kwon Sayoung removed Seong Yeonwoo’s arm that was caressing his chest like a lover, and spoke firmly. At that, Seong Yeonwoo’s smooth brow furrowed briefly.

“Your cycle is approaching soon.”

When he asked quite seriously, the other man put an e-cigarette he had taken out earlier to his lips and inhaled deeply.

“I know. But I’m skipping this one.”

“What? Your pheromones have built up a lot lately anyway. I can feel them even now, and you’re going to skip your rut cycle too?”

“I can endure it with medicine. Don’t worry.”

He replied textually as if it were no big deal, letting out the smoke.

“Are you crazy? What do you mean, medicine. You know it takes a toll on your body if you skip it with medicine. What happened when you endured it with medicine during your overseas business trip? Don’t you remember you went straight to the emergency room?”

“…”

“Besides, I’m the only one who can handle your pheromones.”

Seong Yeonwoo pressed him as if worried. However, without any other answer, he avoided his gaze and repeated inhaling and exhaling the smoke several times. Finding that appearance suspicious for some reason, Seong Yeonwoo narrowed his eyes and spoke carefully in a voice of disbelief.