Pheromone Off Chapter 36

Even if he spoke that way, did he actually intend to grant my request? If that was true, Hajin was so transparently happy. On the other hand, he also felt a bit apologetic. Would he be able to endure that cycle, which was said to be so difficult to get through with medicine? Was it really okay for him to endure such a painful thing just because of him? Hearing Seong Yeonwoo say that he had even gone to the emergency room, Hajin couldn’t help but worry.

Hajin was completely ignorant when it came to those things. Rut cycles, heat cycles, sex, or sleeping together. Hajin was a total innocent who had never even kissed anyone. To a degree that could be called naive if put nicely, or stupid if put bluntly.

Therefore, he did not know very well how difficult it was and how much pain accompanied it. When those cycles came for his family members, most of them spent that time at the Seohyeon house anyway. But he knew full well how obscenely they transformed when that time arrived. Because he knew that even if they had their own partners, once that time came, they would bring in strangers from somewhere and enjoy doing those kinds of things.

And, was it around the time Hajin had just become an adult? Seong Suhyun expanded his methods of tormenting him. Even when it wasn’t his cycle, he frequently dropped by the Seohyeon house bringing along his low-life acquaintances and friends. Buying nameless, unknown Omegas from somewhere, that is. When he did, Seong Suhyun would absolutely summon him to the Seohyeon house using some pathetic excuse. Occasionally, there were also a few of his friends who would hit on him with their strange fetishes.

Seong Suhyun made him watch the filthy things they enjoyed in that place. Whether he wanted to inflict sexual shame and humiliation upon him, he just watched even when his friends sexually harassed him and touched his body. No, rather, he enjoyed it. His smiling face as he watched that scene looked more joyful than ever. He seemed like a person who existed solely to stamp him down into submission.

He had developed an immunity to violence. Since it was violence that had continued from a childhood he couldn’t even remember, it was only natural that he became numb to it as time passed. But that was a completely different matter. As the shame and humiliation rising from the tips of his toes gradually took control of him, his mind went blank and his blood ran cold. It was a terror distinct from physical violence. That fear of feeling like he was about to be overpowered by Alphas whose sheer strength was on a different level—even though they were the same gender—was fundamentally different from the things he had endured until now.

Hajin regulated his ragged breathing and immersed himself back into organizing his luggage. The memory of that time, which had suddenly surfaced, made his head spin dizzily. True to form for Seong Suhyun, the people he associated with were all similarly low-life.

By the time he finished organizing everything, the intercom rang. News was delivered that Grandfather would arrive soon. It seemed that one of the rules of this household was that they always had to greet Grandfather, the highest elder of the house, whenever he returned home. Hajin hurried toward the main house. He wanted to talk with Grandfather about deciding on the engagement outfits today. Funnily enough, Chairman Kwon, the highest elder of this house, was Hajin’s only true friend.

On his way to the main house, he caught the scent of cigarette smoke. Hajin scanned his surroundings with a flustered look. The smell of cigarettes in a garden cultivated by the hard work of numerous staff members and Grandfather’s affection. Moreover, it felt thicker near the greenhouse where he had run into Kwon Sahui not long ago, so Hajin subconsciously turned his steps. He knew that place was the one his late grandmother had treasured the most.

“What are you?”

The owner of the cigarette smoke was the fellow he expected. Hajin furrowed his brow visibly.

“…Put out the cigarette.”

“What?”

He was sitting leisurely on a bench, smoking a cigarette. In the first place, it was strange for him to be home at such an early hour.

“Don’t you have a shoot today?”

“I do.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Because I didn’t want to do it.”

“What?”

“I said I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to, so I postponed it.”

Kwon Sabin replied nonchalantly, saying such an absurd thing as if it were nothing. Postponing a shoot—was that even a plausible thing? For Hajin, who only took on minor roles, it was something incomprehensible. No, rather, was it just taken for granted? Was someone of Kwon Sabin’s power level capable of altering the schedules of hundreds of staff members?

“…Put out the cigarette for now.”

“Who are you to boss me around? Is this your house?”

“…It’s the greenhouse.”

“So what.”

“…I heard it’s a place your late grandmother treasured.”

Hajin replied lowly. Technically speaking, Kwon Sabin’s share of authority in this house was much higher, so he knew full well that he had no right to tell him what to do.

“Worrying about my dead grandmother and all. You’ve completely become a member of this house, haven’t you.”

Did Kwon Sabin really dislike him that much? At his thoroughly sarcastic tone, Hajin looked at him with his characteristically indifferent gaze.

“Targeting me, huh?”

“…”

When Hajin said nothing and just stared at him intently, Kwon Sabin crumpled his face and spat out a curse.

“Ah, seriously. Satisfied? Huh?”

Even though he had only stared at him, Kwon Sabin threw a temper like a person with a guilty conscience, crushing and extinguishing his cigarette in the ashtray.

“Seriously, those eyes of yours…”

Hajin smiled quietly in satisfaction and turned around as if his business was done. Just as he was about to head toward the main house again, Kwon Sabin’s voice was suddenly thrown out.

“Hey, the, outfits. Did you pick a good one?”

It was a question full of interest, purposefully disguised as nonchalance. When Hajin turned back to look, Kwon Sabin scratched his face with an embarrassed expression of his own and asked back.

“You know, the engagement clothes… didn’t you say you were going to get them fitted.”

“Yeah. We got them fitted well.”

Hajin answered casually and tried to turn his steps again.

“Did you even know what was what when you picked it?”

However, as if he had no intention of ending the conversation, Kwon Sabin followed up with another question. Hajin let out a small sigh and looked at him again.

“I didn’t know much either, so hyung picked it for me.”

“…Hyung, my foot. Since when were you close enough with Kwon Sayoung to go hyung, hyung.”

“…He is a hyung, so I call him hyung. You should call him hyung too.”

“Who are you to lecture me?”

What kind of conversation did he want to have? In the first place, did he want to talk or not?

“I guess you really intend to go through with the engagement.”

“…Do you hate it that much?”

At Kwon Sabin’s words, which repeatedly viewed this marriage negatively, Hajin was now getting a bit tired. Even without him, people who were negative about this marriage were scattered all over the place. But when even Kwon Sabin, who wasn’t a directly involved party, kept latching onto it like this, it couldn’t help but be exhausting.

Instead of answering the question, Kwon Sabin stared intently at Hajin. A displeased gaze. However, it wasn’t as sharp as usual.

“…Even if you hate it, it can’t be helped. I’ll try my best to stay out of your sight.”

“Targeting me, huh?”

“…Shared meals or family gatherings can’t be helped… but still, you know. It’s fake. It’s not something that will last long either. Just bear with it for a little while. And don’t tell anyone.”

Hajin requested earnestly. It was a headache because there were many things he had to ask of him, but it seemed he would at least listen if he behaved submissively.

“What if I say no?”

However, given his temper, he guessed that wouldn’t happen. But why on earth was he caring this much about something that wasn’t even his own business? Hajin looked at him calmly and asked quietly.

“What is it that you want?”

“What?”

“…If you hate this and you hate that, it means there’s something you want.”

“If there’s something I want, do you even have the ability to give it to me?”

Once again, it was a conversation that felt like it was just circling the exact same spot.

“I’ll make an effort.”

“Effort, my ass….”

“What do you want me to do then? It’s something that’s already been decided. It’s not like we’re really getting married anyway—.”

“That’s why I’m asking, why on earth are you doing it.”

“Targeting me, huh?”

“You’re not really getting married, and those two are lying and secretly dating behind everyone’s backs, so why on earth are you doing this.”

“Targeting me, huh?”

“I’m asking why you’re doing this crap.”

That question felt subtly strange. At his question, which seemed different from his usual lighthearted vibe, Hajin subconsciously knitted his brow.

“…By any chance, are you worrying about me?”

Even though he knew it wasn’t the case, the nuance of the words he brought up felt that way. When Hajin stared at him with a visibly startled face, he suddenly scowled and habitually spat out a curse.

“Worry, bullshit. It’s because it’s pathetic, pathetic.”

“Targeting me, huh?”

“I’m just wondering what on earth you’re doing acting so pathetically. You idiot.”

At the answer so characteristic of Kwon Sabin, Hajin dropped the expression that had been waiting for a positive response just in case, and let out a low laugh. Of course he would say that.

“It’s because I have my reasons.”

Since he couldn’t explain all his circumstances to him one by one, he glossed over it and added earnestly.

“…If by any chance there’s something you want, let me know.”

“Targeting me, huh?”

“Because I will absolutely repay the favor of keeping it a secret.”

Kwon Sabin was that kind of fellow. He was a wicked, mocking, and mischievous fellow. He had made him embarrassed and put him in difficult situations before, but even so, he had never once acted threateningly. No matter how harshly he spoke, he never caused him harm. At a glance, he looked like a fellow like Seong Suhyun, but no, he was entirely different. He had tormented him back during their school days too, but it was on a completely different dimension from how Seong Suhyun tormented him.

A simple spitefulness—Kwon Sabin merely threw the kind of spite typical for his age group, but he had never made him truly suffer. Although he had been hurt occasionally by his mean words, it didn’t deal a heavy blow to him, since he possessed a strong immunity to violence and verbal abuse.

“As much as I can within my ability. Absolutely.”

When Hajin spoke with certainty, showing his resolve, the fellow who had just been staring down at Hajin silently finally opened his mouth.

“…Make sure you keep that promise.”

At his words that he wouldn’t forget the favor, he muttered significantly and walked past him. Turning his steps first, he headed toward the main house with a grumbling and visibly annoyed stride. Unable to comprehend his reasonless spite, Hajin watched him and let out a low sigh.

Nothing was ever easy.