How a Loan Shark Survives as an Actor Chapter 88

Chapter 88

 

Choo Seomok quietly listened the entire time I spoke.

He didn’t comfort me by saying anyone who went through something like that couldn’t possibly be unaffected, nor did he pry into the gaps I’d deliberately glossed over because they were difficult to answer.

I’d expected him to react like this somehow, but seeing it happen for real made me laugh despite myself.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Just thinking that you’re really something yourself.”

Seomok looked puzzled at my answer, but I didn’t bother explaining.

“Anyway, do you understand now?”

“Yes. Thank you for telling me.”

“Yeah. But now I don’t understand myself. Why am I still like this?”

Of course, I didn’t take the word ‘trauma’ lightly.

I’d inherited the business and gone through all sorts of things afterward, but back then, when I’d been kidnapped, I really had trouble sleeping and suffered quite a bit.

“Because it was something serious enough to leave that kind of impact.”

“I get that it was a serious incident. But that guy didn’t even attack me with the nail clippers. There’s no reason for me to still be trembling over this.”

“I understand what you’re saying, but whether a trauma is something worth fearing or not isn’t something present-day Mr. Seulho gets to decide.”

“Then who does?”

“The Seulho from back then.”

Choo Seomok continued calmly.

“To young Seulho, it must have been something impossible to forget. No matter how much time passes, not every wound heals. But if a wound doesn’t heal, that isn’t the person’s fault.”

“Doesn’t it all depend on the situation?”

“Things like skin condition, the depth of the injury… there are many factors involved.”

His gentle explanation naturally calmed me as well.

Before I knew it, I’d regained my composure and nodded.

“You’re right. Got it. I won’t think of myself as pathetic.”

“Good. Besides, what you want right now isn’t to stop being afraid of nail clippers, is it?”

Seomok asked whether living without nail clippers had ever inconvenienced me.

I shook my head.

“There aren’t many people who clip their nails in front of others, and now that I know, I won’t use nail clippers around you either. Which means there won’t be any inconvenience in the future.”

“True.”

“So there’s no need to force yourself to fix it. In fact, if it helps you practice acting afraid, then there’s nothing wrong with still finding it scary.”

His logical argument convinced me.

Maybe I had just as much prejudice about masculinity as Director Seo Jinki.

I’d thought being afraid of the sound of nail clippers was unbecoming for a man.

But thanks to his words, much of my embarrassment faded, and I was able to speak more calmly.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“Good. Then, shall I clip them?”

At that, I swallowed hard and nodded.

As if trying to be considerate, Choo Seomok slowly moved the clippers and trimmed his own nail.

Click!

The sharp sound echoed loudly through the quiet room.

My body jerked against my will, and when I came back to my senses, my eyes were already shut.

Opening them slowly, I saw Seomok placing the clippers back on the floor.

“Are you alright?”

“No.”

I shook my head.

Oddly enough, admitting I wasn’t alright didn’t hurt my pride.

“It’s not like my reason shuts down or my hands start shaking uncontrollably, but I still don’t like it. If someone kept making ‘click-click-click‘ noises one after another, I’d really hate it.”

Ugh.

Just thinking about it gave me goosebumps.

As I furiously scratched my arm, Seomok pulled out his phone and opened the camera.

“You said you need data on how people react when they’re afraid, right? I’ll let you hear the sound a few more times. Just react naturally.”

He suggested I later watch the recordings and objectively observe what a startled person looked like.

It was surprisingly methodical.

Afterward, following Seomok’s instructions, I listened to the sound several more times.

Strangely enough, each time startled me all over again.

‘I can’t even pay attention to the camera.’

I was so surprised that I completely forgot I was being recorded.

“That should be enough.”

“Good work.”

As I ran a hand through my hair, Choo Seomok slipped the nail clippers into his pocket.

Then he tapped something into his phone before abruptly standing up.

“I’ll be back in a moment.”

“At this hour?”

He answered dryly.

“I just posted the nail clippers for free on DangX. We agreed to meet at the playground in front.”

My mouth opened slightly in surprise.

Not only was it amazing that someone would come out this late at night just to get a free pair of nail clippers, but it was even more shocking that he’d done all this in that short amount of time.

Apparently misunderstanding my reaction, Seomok paused.

“Did I do something unnecessary? I posted them because I didn’t want them left inside the house. Or do you plan to keep practicing with them?”

“No. The recordings are enough.”

“Yes. Then I’ll be back.”

He bowed slightly and left the room.

Only after hearing the front door close did I let out a laugh.

‘This guy…’

I was only planning to keep them out of my room.

But he’d removed them from the house entirely.

And even if I’d asked him to do it, wouldn’t most people say it was too late, and they’d handle it tomorrow?

His speed and decisiveness were impressive.

The next day, Choo Seomok sent me several videos he’d recorded yesterday.

Even while downloading them for acting practice, I felt a little nervous.

After all, the videos contained those ‘click‘ sounds.

‘I’ll watch them on mute.’

But after downloading them, something felt strange.

Looking closer, I realized the videos themselves had no audio tracks.

No matter how much I raised the volume, there wasn’t a sound.

Staring at the silent videos, I eventually burst out laughing.

‘He’s considerate.’

 

***

 

As I stepped outside, the chilly autumn wind brushed my cheeks.

‘Time really flies.’

The older I got, the faster time seemed to pass.

I thought things might feel slower in Yoo Seulho’s mid-twenties body, but not at all.

‘Maybe because I’m living even busier than before. It feels faster.’

Even back when I was a loan shark, I hated letting spare time go to waste.

I’d always found ways to make money with it, and if there was truly nothing to do, I’d work on my fitness.

‘I don’t want to work out.’

I was on my way to the gym.

It was hard to believe I’d once exercised simply because I had free time, considering how heavy my steps felt now.

‘Maybe it’s because I have to build muscles for other people to look at.’

The character Dogeon from ‘What I Loved’, whose filming was approaching, was a patient with poor health.

His lower body in particular didn’t function properly, so I couldn’t bulk up too much if I wanted to fit the role.

‘But I can’t lose all my muscle either.’

Because of ‘The Sixth Night’.

In that movie, I wasn’t playing a patient but a college athlete who’d entered university on a sports scholarship.

Since it was a horror film set during summer, there would naturally be some skin exposure.

Not random shirtless scenes, but sleeveless shirts and shorts revealing my arms and thighs.

If I looked too frail, I wouldn’t be able to convey the character’s background properly.

‘Normally, they’d adjust the filming schedules.’

But ‘What I Loved’ already had its schedule locked in.

So postponing it wasn’t an option.

Which meant delaying ‘The Sixth Night’ made more sense.

Director Seo Jinki had stubbornly insisted:

“Mr. Seulho has to play the protagonist. There are no other options.”

He said he’d adjust the entire production schedule around me.

I appreciated that, but honestly, I didn’t want it.

‘I can’t spend half a year filming just one movie.’

Horror movies belonged in theaters during summer.

If I waited until ‘What I Loved’ finished before filming ‘The Sixth Night’, there’d be no way to make the release date.

‘Ultimately, this is just my own greed.’

Fortunately, after good communication with both Directors Baek and Seo, everyone found a compromise.

Since ‘What I Loved’ took place in autumn, Director Baek decided Dogeon would wear loose-fitting oversized clothes.

Even his pants would be made larger so his actual physique wouldn’t stand out.

I worried Director Baek’s side might resent having to make so many concessions, but instead he seemed relieved.

“Thinking about it, it’d have been bad if you lost weight or muscle for the current Dogeon.”

“Why?”

“Because we also filmed Dogeon before the accident. Back then, you’ll wear fitted clothes and show off your muscles. It’ll contrast nicely with the present. If you lose all your muscle and look unimpressive before the accident too, what’d be the point?”

Then Director Baek said things had worked out perfectly and proposed adding exposure scenes.

“What kind of exposure scenes?”

“Don’t be scared. Just abs, maybe? During those sweet early dating scenes with Dain. The audience will enjoy it, I’ll enjoy making the audience happy, and you’ll enjoy it too, right?”

“No.”

“Aww, why? I compromised, didn’t I? You should compromise too.”

After sighing, I agreed.

And so, in the two movies releasing next year, I’d end up showing off various parts of my body.

Feeling vaguely burdened, I arrived at the gym.

“Huh?! Yoo Seulho?!”

And there, I encountered something I never expected.