Your Majesty, Dinner Is Ready. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 — E-Rank Labyrinth – Fire Ant Nest (2)

 

The Fire Ant Nest was like a maze.

Its structure was as intricate as a piece of modern art.

All you had to do was find the route connecting the entrance to the exit to escape, but the gigantic three-dimensional maze was far too vast and complicated.

On top of that, the rewards weren’t particularly worthwhile.

As a result, almost nobody came to this labyrinth.

“So Kar was the one who strongly insisted that we conquer this labyrinth.”

“I wouldn’t say ‘strongly’.”

“We barely escaped from a labyrinth yesterday after going through all that trouble, and yet we’re already back in another one today. Even the Labyrinth Management Corps probably doesn’t come in this often…”

As Marlin continued grumbling, she casually threw what she was holding behind her.

Thud!

“Grrr…“

A long white spike pierced the head of a Fire Ant approaching from behind.

It was a spear I’d made for her using Spiderweb That Binds All Things.

A thrown weapon made by maximizing the web’s thickness and durability.

I’d produced a generous supply while Marlin was dealing with the first group of ants.

“Wow… I didn’t expect it to die in one hit.”

Marlin happily wagged her tail after harvesting the Fire Spring and mana stone from the limp monster.

“The Mysteries you gave me, Kar, are way better than I expected.”

Basic Daggersmanship and Basic Throwing Techniques.

Both were bread-and-butter Mysteries for low-level thieves.

Marlin couldn’t utilize them perfectly because of her poor Agility and Dexterity…

But they’d still be helpful for quite a while.

At the very least, she’d be far more capable in combat than a Cultist.

I patted the puffed-up novice thief on the back.

“I’m glad you like them. I was worried because you cried and complained about how these cheap Mysteries weren’t good enough.”

“…Are you seeing things?”

“Let’s go this way.”

We carefully descended a steep slope.

Making clever use of her beastkin traits, my tiger assistant wrapped her tail around my waist to keep me from falling.

At the bottom lay a massive cavern.

“Over there.”

This time, we had to climb uphill.

As Marlin pushed me forward from behind, she asked,

“Do you know every path in this place? You didn’t even need the map.”

“It’s still necessary.”

No matter how much of a veteran I considered myself after years of playing the game…

I certainly hadn’t memorized the geography of every mere E-Rank labyrinth.

My brain and memory were already occupied memorizing the gimmicks of S-Rank and A-Rank labyrinths.

Still…

Thanks to repeated playthroughs, I remembered the general layout well enough.

With a map in hand, I could easily transform into a half-elf navigation system.

“Hyah.”

The occasional ant that appeared was promptly skewered by my assistant’s thrown spikes.

Thanks to that, we enjoyed an exceptionally comfortable exploration.

“Labyrinths… They’re not much of a big deal after all.”

She’d been frozen with fear at first…

Now she even had the leisure to make comments like that.

A commendable rate of growth.

“That’s right. Labyrinths aren’t something to fear. They’re joyful paradises overflowing with happiness.”

Honestly…

They really were fun.

Even an E-Rank labyrinth was this entertaining.

Just how much dopamine would clearing Nightmare Dungeon produce?

“Kar. Something’s nearby.”

Marlin’s ears twitched as she stopped me.

“Two… No, three. They’re staying completely still.”

“Then we’re almost there.”

I unfolded the map so she could see it.

The Garbage Dump was located in the bottom-right corner of the ant nest.

“We should be around here.”

Near a sharp ninety-degree corner.

Once we turned it, we’d immediately see the entrance to the Garbage Dump.

But the corridor leading there contained traps.

“Ants set traps?”

“It’s instinctive behavior. They’re not sophisticated. They just blow up whoever steps on them.”

“That’s incredibly dangerous…”

Normally, removing traps was the thief class’s job.

But I wasn’t about to expect much from a fledgling Thief who could barely take care of herself.

For now, simply learning to walk properly was enough.

“I’ll disarm it. Wait here.”

I created a spiderweb from my right index finger and compressed it into a sphere.

A crude trap-disarming projectile, you could say.

Since these primitive traps lacked advanced detection mechanisms that reacted to life signs or Mysteries…

Simple tricks like this were more than enough.

Stretching my arm toward the corridor leading to the Garbage Dump…

I tossed the web sphere.

Tap.

The round web landed on the floor.

BOOM!

A thunderous explosion erupted.

Sheltering Marlin behind my half-elf body, I shielded her from the scorching blast until the corridor finally quieted.

‘Grrr!’

The Fire Ants guarding the Garbage Dump charged out to catch whatever had triggered the trap.

Marlin dashed forward.

With three swift strikes, she cut all three ants cleanly into head, thorax, and abdomen.

“Well done.”

Once again, I wiped the blood splattered across her face.

“Your swordsmanship is getting cleaner and cleaner.”

“Maybe I really do have talent as an explorer.”

Resting my hand on my assistant’s proudly raised shoulder, I rounded the corner.

At the end of the straight corridor…

There stood a wooden door.

Calling it a “door” was rather generous.

Strictly speaking, it resembled a crude plank more than anything.

Still…

Since it had a primitive locking mechanism, I supposed it qualified.

“It’s time for our active burglar to shine.”

“Hmm…”

After examining it from every angle, Marlin shook her head.

“It doesn’t have a lock. Or even a doorknob. How am I supposed to open it?”

“I’ll show you.”

Grabbing the right arm of the active thief, I pulled it backward.

Then slightly twisted her waist.

“Now… Just throw a punch like this.”

“…”

CRACK!

Using the Smashing Lockpicking Method, the door opened beautifully.

Beyond it lay a surprisingly spacious chamber.

[Garbage Dump of the Fire Ant Nest. A place where unintelligent insects discard everything they classify as “trash.”]

What would it actually look like?

Filled with anticipation, I stepped inside.

Broken and worn-out objects were piled everywhere.

“Ugh… The smell.”

Marlin merely pinched her nose, seemingly unimpressed.

I, however…

Couldn’t remain still.

I wandered around examining every object that caught my eye.

 

[Ancient silver bracelet. A discarded item of rather poor quality.]

[A filthy and horrifyingly ugly doll. You are strongly advised to throw it far away immediately.]

[The remains of a dead puppy. Now ‘this’ is genuine trash!]

 

Holding the tiny canine bones in my hands, I slowly steadied my breathing.

‘…Everything’s exactly the same.’

It perfectly matched the Garbage Dump I remembered.

How could I not be moved?

Was this all a dream?

“Kar. Why is this place a treasure vault? No matter how I look at it… It’s all junk.”

“Junk? Watch your tongue.”

Such blasphemous words from someone who lacked proper education.

An explorer needed at least a minimum level of knowledge if they didn’t want to be laughed at.

So I decided to conduct an impromptu introductory lesson.

“Marlin. Do you know how labyrinths are created?”

“Poof?”

“…Labyrinths form due to oversaturated mana condensing together. The gathered mana recreates an isolated world modeled after some place from the past, present, or future. Understand so far?”

“Perfectly.”

Despite her confident answer…

Her eyes wavered just slightly.

“To put it simply… Labyrinths are fake worlds copied from reality. Simple enough?”

Only then did Marlin finally understand.

“So… Even though this ant nest is fake… It means it was based on a place that really existed somewhere. Probably a very long time ago.”

“Exactly.”

Even though her Knowledge stat was lacking…

Her Wisdom was quite respectable.

A fitting deduction.

I clenched my right fist.

“This place… is the Fire Ant Nest’s true value.”

Every single object here was a piece of worldbuilding lore.

How could I not become absorbed in it?

If I could…

I’d take everything home and preserve it.

Unfortunately, without spatial-storage equipment, there was simply too much to carry.

Swallowing my regret, I decided to collect only what I actually needed.

‘First… this.’

Taking a mana stone from Marlin…

I gently rubbed it against the leg bone of the dead puppy.

‘Shhhh…’

After rubbing it around ten times…

The mana stone faded from blue to a dull gray.

The mana contained inside flowed completely into the bone.

Carefully bringing the mana-infused remains beneath my nose…

The bones suddenly transformed into vapor and entered my body through my respiratory tract.

“…What was that just now?”

“Excellent question. During the era of the Kingdom of Lumes, which once unified the Western Continent… There were far more monster habitats than today, and ecosystems were rather unusual. The owner of those remains I picked up looked exactly like an ordinary dog in every biological respect. Except for one thing. When infused with mana… It could transform into gas. Apparently, it mainly used that ability to escape predators. If you utilize it correctly…”

Marlin’s eyes gradually became vacant as I lectured.

Reluctantly ending the lesson early…

I skipped straight to the conclusion.

“It slightly improves your regenerative ability.”

 

[Indeed… your body’s natural healing ability has increased slightly….]

 

In game terms… My Vitality stat had increased by 1.

Next, I picked up the discarded doll and silver bracelet.

“Come here for a moment. Hold out your hands.”

“Why?”

As my puzzled assistant approached…

I placed the doll in both of her hands.

Then slipped the silver bracelet around the doll’s neck.

“It fits perfectly. It’s like a custom-made necklace.”

“Exactly. Now… Would you look into its eyes for a moment?”

Tilting her head, Marlin did as instructed.

Then, suddenly flinched and dropped the doll.

“…Kar. It’s glaring at me.”

“That’s just how it is.”

“Don’t say that like it’s perfectly normal! What is this thing now?”

“I’ve been waiting for that question!”

“N-no…!”

After thoroughly explaining the undocumented origin of the Blessed Doll…

I asked how she felt.

“Come to think of it… My hands feel a little lighter.”

“Looks like it worked.”

 

[???? Truly… your assistant Marlin’s physical capabilities have increased…!]

 

Dexterity +1.

A stat increase I didn’t need…

So I cleanly invested it into raising my companion.

“Did the evil god you worship tell you about this too?”

“Of course.”

 

[Just how did you discover that knowledge?! The Wise One is utterly bewildered!]

 

Next…

I picked up the most valuable ancient relic in the treasure vault.

It was a rectangular piece of black metal.

Small…

Yet surprisingly heavy.

“Is that valuable too?”

“Need you even ask?”

 

[Throw away that filthy relic belonging to worshippers of such a vile divinity immediately. Throw it away! If you possess even a shred of proper judgment, you must!]

 

Eye That Sees Through Truth desperately urged me to discard the relic I’d just found.

Unfortunately…

I couldn’t do that.

This was something that could never be obtained outside this place.

Placing the relic into Marlin’s bag…

We ventured deeper into the Garbage Dump.

Unlike the entrance, where beautiful ancient relics had been scattered everywhere…

The deeper section truly contained nothing but garbage.

“…Ugh.”

Marlin stopped short, her face twisting into a grimace.

“Isn’t that… A goblin corpse? I think there’s a human over there too…”

“Good eye.”

To monsters…

The corpses of explorers were merely refuse to be disposed of.

Until this labyrinth reset six months later…

They would continue rotting away here in lonely silence.

“Do you pity them?”

“A little.”

“Then let’s show them the respect due to fellow explorers.”

Leading Marlin toward the pile of corpses, I gave my instructions.

“Assistant. Prepare the offering ritual.”

“…You said we were showing respect.”

“When explorers die inside labyrinths… Their friends or teammates usually return later to retrieve the bodies. Sometimes professional corpse-retrieval explorers are hired. So then… Why do you think these corpses are still here?”

Apparently, understanding the answer…

Marlin nodded.

“So, cultists are scavengers. You feed on the corpses of explorers abandoned to rot because nobody came back for them.”

“Why use such a harsh word? ‘Labyrinth cleaners’ is a perfectly respectable term.”

Still…

I couldn’t deny that Cultists favored explorers who had died inside labyrinths as offerings.

It wouldn’t do to kidnap innocent civilians and sacrifice them alive while raving in madness.

That was the old-fashioned way.

Modern Cultists only performed offerings through legal and proper methods like these.

“Assistant. You watched the ritual last time, didn’t you? Please prepare everything.”

“I’ll try.”

“And give me back the dagger for a moment.”

I still didn’t want to make my assistant handle preparing the offering.

It was far too cruel a task for a young girl still in her growing years.

Searching through the dead explorers…

I found a suitable candidate.

 

[The corpse of the deceased warrior Mirgon (Human, age 27). A fool who tried to lure his companions into the Garbage Dump before provoking a Fire Ant swarm to wipe them out, only to be killed instead.]

 

A timeless classic among sacrificial offerings… A human.

And an utterly rotten personality as well.

Offering someone like this left no bitter aftertaste.

I cleanly removed the head of the fool officially certified by Eyes That Perceive the Truth, then generously poured the Volcanic Troll Blood I’d purchased from the exploration shop over the body.

A pleasantly spicy seasoning.

Next…

I added the Fire Springs my assistant had harvested.

Ingredients for heat.

Rather than the artificial smokiness created by Mysteries…

They would provide a natural spicy flavor.

‘Something’s still missing.’

After pondering for a moment…

I scattered the discounted dog beastkin teeth I’d bought.

Like sausages in budae-jjigae…

They played a precious supporting role.

Now it finally looked complete.

This offering turned out rather well.

Satisfied… I recited the prayer before solemnly declaring,

“Lord Lidni. Your meal is ready.”

Nothing happened.

After silently watching beside the makeshift idol and altar…

My assistant blinked for quite a while before looking at me.

“…Kar? I actually haven’t performed the ritual yet.”

“Oh, come on!”

“If you’re going to joke, at least smile while doing it!”

As requested…

I raised the corners of my lips.

“I actually performed it properly…Then why isn’t anything happening?”

The cause wasn’t difficult to identify.

I’d spent years serving as a Cultist of the Twisted Truth.

How could I not know my evil god’s tastes?

“Lord Lidni… is complaining about the side dishes.”

“The evil god…?”

Fortunately… Correcting the bad eating habits of a picky, evil god wasn’t particularly difficult.

Putting on a completely innocent expression…

I spoke.

“Lord Lidni… Surely… you aren’t bad with spicy food?”

‘Don’t tell me you can’t handle spicy food?’