Your Majesty, Dinner Is Ready. Chapter 160 - Shall We Go Bring Them In?

Chapter 160 – Shall We Go Bring Them In?

 

Artein. The chief deity of the benevolent gods, the one who protects every innocent weakling.

Among all the gods, the Protector of All unquestionably had the largest number of followers. Even if you combined the followers of the next three most popular deities, Talendros, Meterd, and Teramea, they still couldn’t match Artein alone.

“As expected, I knew I could count on Lady Artein.”

I couldn’t help but feel deeply moved. She had bestowed a Mystery upon a monster that wasn’t even one of Her followers, much less a person.

Such generosity was only fitting for the wealthiest among the gods.

“Lady Rachel.”

Since such a great benefactor had shown her support, I couldn’t simply stand there doing nothing. I immediately asked the ever-capable Rachel for help.

“Could you sing a hymn expressing the overflowing respect in your heart for Lady Artein?”

“Gladly!”

Rachel jumped to her feet and respectfully clasped her hands together before beginning a hymn of the Church of Harmony.

“Ahhh, Lady Artein, the noblest being in the world! Ahhh, beautiful Lady Artein!”

 

The hymn “Beautiful Lady Artein.”

Lyrics by Saint Ferris.

Composition also by Saint Ferris.

 

Saaaaaa—!

Partway through Rachel’s singing, the modern-day Artein hurriedly sent down Her will.

“Please! Anything but that hymn!”

It had such wonderful musicality. Why was She embarrassed by it?

If this world had music charts, that hymn would surely have held first place for months despite the limitations of being a religious song.

I couldn’t understand it. But as a Cultist who faithfully obeyed the words of the gods, I immediately stopped Rachel’s singing.

“Lady Artein, in return, I promise to devote myself to ending the sectarian conflicts within the Church of Harmony.”

This time, both Arteins sent down their wills simultaneously.

“That wasn’t what I was hoping for… but I’d certainly appreciate it if you did!”

“There are sectarian conflicts? The me of this era have grown far too soft!”

With my hand resting over the tattoo on my chest, I nodded repeatedly before looking toward AKarr. Now at the Fifth Tier, Truthy displayed text faster than before.

 

[Sacred Beast — Snow Replica AKarr]

[The benevolent gods really have it easy. They can afford to waste faith by bestowing Mysteries upon mere monsters.]

 

“You’ve successfully become a sacred beast. Congratulations.”

“Yay~ I’m a sacred beast now.”

“By the way, what Mystery did Lady Artein grant you?”

“It’s the Fourth-Tier Mystery, [Shining Destiny].”

It was a Mystery that protected its holder from calamities. It couldn’t completely negate misfortune, but it could avoid a fair amount of bad luck, making it a rather excellent ability.

“Since it’s a universal Mystery without class restrictions, it’ll function without any issues. And because it’s only Fourth Tier, Marlin will also be able to borrow it freely. A double benefit.”

A choice befitting a god of clear wisdom. Back when Lidni still deserved the title ‘The Wise One,’ he had possessed this level of intelligence as well.

Perhaps because everything had happened so suddenly… Marlin simply blinked blankly.

I waved a hand in front of her eyes.

“Marlin. Register Lord AKarr as your Frozen Comrade. You naturally learned how the moment you obtained the artifact, didn’t you?”

The requirement was to build sufficient affection or intimacy. Just like with Aiquiril. They had to become close.

“From now on, spend two hours every day talking with Lord AKarr and becoming friends.”

At my words… AKarr smiled and gently waved.

Marlin stared at the face identical to mine for a while before wrinkling her nose.

“Karr. Everything’s fine… except could you do something about his appearance?”

“I was planning to.”

No matter what… It would be difficult for her to become friends with a monster whose only difference from her Patron was that its body happened to be made of ice.

Fortunately… AKarr also possessed [Transformation], so I intended to customize his appearance.

“Lord AKarr. I’ll grant you the right to choose.”

“Oh! Is this the strategy where you pretend to offer choices, while actually arranging things so the other person has no choice but to pick what you wanted all along? Its greatest advantage is that afterward you can psychologically corner them by saying, ‘But you were the one who chose it.'”

“Good heavens. Do you take me for someone like that scheming Black Sword Guild Master who manipulates people’s psychology?”

[Once again, I’m grateful that only one intelligent being like you exists upon this earth….]

“I’ve thoughtfully prepared three choices. Please pick one.”

I held up three fingers.

“First. Five-year-old adorable child Karr. You’ll have to act cheerful and overflowing with cuteness.”

“…I hate that.”

Marlin immediately cast a vote against it.

“Second. A massive, dependable Karr. He must be overwhelmingly bold. He tears into raw meat without even bothering to cook it and beats monsters to death with his bare hands.”

“Hmm… Isn’t my greatest charm my delicate appearance?”

AKarr shook his head.

“Then only the final option remains.”

Holding up only my index finger, I announced the third choice.

“…Sigh.”

Kururuk.

Marlin and Aiquiril both let out small sighs.

However… Since the democratic vote had already determined that “Karr decides however he likes” was the official outcome… I had no choice but to ignore all dissenting opinions.

“I’ll be right back.”

AKarr headed down into the basement.

Some time later… He returned.

His entire body of snow and ice had been transformed through [Transformation].

“…Sorry to keep you waiting.”

Elegant pure-white ceremonial robes. Golden hair flowing all the way down to his waist. Calm dignity radiates from every gesture and every word. A version of Karr that carried an air remarkably similar to Saint Seraphina smiled gently.

“Allow me to introduce myself again. Hello. I’m Karr from a possible world where, due to a certain spacetime fracture, I fell into the past and became a priest under Saint Seraphina. I look forward to getting along with you.”

“…”

Marlin looked back and forth between AKarr and me for a while before speaking.

“I seriously hate this.”

It seemed that becoming Frozen Comrades with AKarr would require quite a long time.

 

***

 

After forcibly leaving AKarr in Marlin’s care…

“Haaah….”

I was currently being conquered by Pendrick’s relentless hands.

“One more round.”

“Haah… w-wait…”

“Here I go!”

Smiling brightly… Pendrick once again unleashed his devilishly skilled hands.

Crack!

A sound refreshing enough to soothe even one’s soul. Using hands reinforced with inner energy, Pendrick firmly pressed along my back, giving me an invigorating massage.

“How is it? This is the massage technique I learned back when I lived on the Eastern Continent! It’s called [Bear-Crushing Massage]!”

“It’s amazi–haaah…”

A body afflicted by the Rot Sprout became stiffer and more damaged with every passing day.

So every now and then… It needed treatment like this.

“Captain. Do you happen to know a druid named Miriel?”

“Nn… of course…”

“He’s a friend from my days on the Eastern Continent. I learned this massage technique from him! It’s called [Bear-Crushing Massage]. It’s a martial-type Mystery. I’ve only learned the basics, so I haven’t completely mastered it.”

A massage capable of crushing bears… Was vigorously kneading the back of a fragile half-elf.

“You’re especially tense here too!”

“A-a little gentler…”

“Even when your stomach has a hole through it, or you’re poisoned, you smile without complaint. Why are you making such a fuss over a massage?”

Astrimia, propped up against the wall beside the massage bed, laughed mentally.

Suppressing my groans… I replied while lying face down.

“Because this is a healthy massage. Pain that makes you healthier. It doesn’t count as hardship or a trial.”

“ …You certainly have very firm standards.”

“No matter how painful this is… it’s impossible to enjoy.”

One of my embarrassing weaknesses. It didn’t seem like much.

But if an enemy bearing a grudge ever discovered it… It could become a fatal vulnerability.

“So you’re actually weak against things that aren’t painful in the usual sense, Captain?”

“Th-that’s… hngh!”

“Somehow that puts me at ease.”

“Wh-what… do you mean…?”

“I’m glad you have an ordinary side to you too, Lord Karr. Until now, you always felt like someone from an entirely different world. Now it finally feels as though you’re someone who lives in the same world as us.”

“…”

It was an observation that struck rather close to home. Though, of course… She hadn’t meant it in that sense.

Crack! 

A surprise finishing blow landed.

“Gh… ah…”

In the end… I went completely limp.

Cultist Karr. Here lies asleep.

“Captain. We’ve only finished the first stage.”

“…How many are left?”

“Ten stages in total.”

“Please… just kill me instead…”

“Hahaha!”

It was then that Astrimia burst into laughter as bright as the stars.

“…You’re noisy.”

Odilon, who had been receiving exercise lessons from Charlotte on a nearby mat, clicked his tongue. His long hair was tightly tied back. He wore light training clothes.

Despite appearances… The frail young master diligently maintained his health every single day.

“Cultist Karr. Swordsman Pendrick. This is my training room. Keep it down.”

In fact… Determined to overcome his congenital frailty, the young master had even purchased all sorts of expensive exercise equipment and built an entire training room.

However… Since he spent so many days bedridden with illness… Pendrick and Bartimir actually made far more use of it than he did.

“Young Master. Let’s continue.”

Charlotte, whose personality became remarkably competent whenever she wasn’t drunk, addressed Odilon.

“Now then. Next, like this…”

A moment later… Charlotte twisted herself into a posture so bizarre it was difficult to comprehend how the human body even bent that way.

[Setalef].

An exercise that abused the body roughly twenty times more severely than Pilates.

It was so systematic and effective… That the laws of the world themselves recognized it as a martial-type Mystery.

“…Huff.”

The young master diligently twisted his frail body. Less than five seconds later… He collapsed as though he’d fainted.

“We’ll stop here for today. Good work.”

Charlotte administered a stamina recovery potion before quietly leaving.

Crack-crack-crack!

Still receiving my massage… I addressed Odilon.

“Young Master.”

“…What is it?”

“Since we cleared Southern Continent Expedition… has your main family contacted you?”

“They have.”

Still sprawled across the mat… The sickly young master barely managed to answer.

“Apparently, my older sister caused quite an uproar.”

Originally… Southern Continent Expedition had been the labyrinth Flora’s expedition party intended to conquer.

After months of meticulous preparation… We’d casually snatched away the honor of the first clear.

“…Well done. Cultist Karr.”

The young master’s genuinely delighted smile… Something almost impossible to witness under normal circumstances.

“For now, we’ve accomplished our objective regarding the Southern Continent Expedition. The problem is… my furious sister may finally begin making serious moves.”

“Th-that’s tr–ahh!”

“Just endure a little longer, Captain.”

Pendrick mercifully ended the massage after only the third stage.

At last… I managed to stand up and put my clothes back on before speaking again.

“There’s no need to worry about Lady Flora’s schemes.”

“…You’re right. While she’s blinded by rage… my elder brother will undoubtedly bring out the strategy he’s spent all this time preparing to tear her apart.”

“Exactly.”

To both Odilon and our expedition team… The eldest son, Nicholas, and the eldest daughter, Flora, still regarded us as nothing more than young sprouts.

For now… They considered fighting each other far more important.

“While they’re busy doing that… we simply continue growing stronger.”

Thanks to conquering the Southern Continent Expedition, our Moonlight Expedition Team had earned a respectable reputation.

According to information gathered by the Faint Shadow agents… Many people believed the Nunun Bear Love Guild had likely led the expedition.

However… There was also a considerable amount of public opinion recognizing our capabilities.

“Apparently, there are already explorers who want to join our expedition team.”

“There are. I rejected every single one. They were all trash.”

“Well done.”

Capable companions were never easy to find.

“Now it’s time to make proper use of the reputation we’ve gained.”

I pointed my thumb toward Pendrick, who was resting beside me.

“It’s about time we went recruiting. Someone on the same level as Lord Pendrick.”