Debuting by Riding the Returnee’s Bus Chapter 107

PD Ahn

 

The faces of the trainees, filled with tension on the familiar set, came into view. The memory of being there during the actual filming was still vivid, but as always, seeing it on screen felt different. It felt even more so because the cameras mostly focused on the faces of the trainees who looked like they were about to lose their minds.

 

This was the place where they stood at the crossroads of debuting or failing; it was the place that announced the true end of Idol Classism, a show that felt like it would never conclude. It would have been weirder not to be nervous. Even I, who had been nothing more than an ordinary staff member, had found it impossible to stay calm, so it was only natural that they felt the same.

 

The environment itself was designed to induce anxiety. Despite there being nothing left to judge, the three judges were in their seats to share the final moment. The screen showed all the staff who had been part of Idol Classism present as well. Because the set was shown in a full shot, my eyes wandered to the parts usually hidden from view.

 

Everyone was looking only at the trainees on the set. That sight made it feel as if they were truly bidding farewell to Idol Classism. Perhaps sensing this, the trainees’ eyes looked a bit watery.

 

Of course, as usual, the production crew didn’t care about the trainees’ feelings or thoughts. Emotions were emotions, and the broadcast was the broadcast. Following a formal critique of the final performance and a few seemingly useless events, the main event proceeded immediately after the on-site voting scores were revealed.

 

The coronation to determine the owners of the seven thrones had begun.

 

Even though I already knew the results, I kept my eyes fixed on the familiar screen, filled with tension. It happened while I was sitting alone in the dark living room, illuminated only by the faint glow of the television.

 

Suddenly, the room brightened. Reflexively turning my head, I saw my blood relative with his hand on the light switch. He was my only younger sibling, yet for some reason, his face always managed to irritate me.

 

It was Ahn Kyeongman.

 

“What, noona? You’re watching that again? The last episode of Idol Classism? How many times has it been now?”

 

“Just go to sleep.”

 

“You’re going to sit here crying again today?”

 

“Don’t bother me and just go to bed… I’m warning you.”

 

“No, I just came out to go to the bathroom.”

 

“Then go quietly and crawl back into your room after turning off the light.”

 

“Actually, I want to watch with you.”

 

“Hey.”

 

The brat plopped down on the sofa and spoke quietly.

 

“I won’t bother you.”

 

“…….”

 

“But, noona.”

 

“You said you wouldn’t bother me.”

 

“No, I really have to ask this… I’m genuinely curious, isn’t the result a bit unexpected?”

 

“…….”

 

“I mean, Joo Wooyoung being 4th. I thought for sure he’d be 2nd like in the previous rankings—3rd if he was unlucky. But man, do you know how shocked I was when he suddenly sat on the fourth throne?”

 

“…….”

 

“It’s that thing, right? It means Joo Wooyoung was benefiting from Lee Unha. Of course, 2nd or 4th are both in the debut group, but… if it weren’t for the Lee Unha, he might not have even made the debut range… Isn’t that one way to interpret it?”

 

I didn’t like being asked questions when I wanted to sink into my thoughts, but I opened my mouth anyway. I knew that if I didn’t answer, he’d keep pestering me until I did.

 

Coincidentally, on the screen… 

 

[MC: The trainee who will sit on the fourth throne is… Congratulations! Trainee No. 111 Joo Wooyoung!] 

 

As Joo Wooyoung was called for 4th place, Lee Unha’s shocked face was shown. His expression, wondering if he had misheard something, was striking.

 

On the contrary, Joo Wooyoung himself looked quite calm.

 

[MC: Trainee Joo Wooyoung, before you sit on the fourth throne, a brief word…]

 

If anything, he looked relieved. Maybe….

 

“See? It looks like Joo Wooyoung knew too.”

 

“I am not sure….”

 

“In the communities right now… that’s all they’ve been talking about for days.”

 

“No, seriously, you should stop hanging around those forums. I don’t know which ones you use, but I can already imagine. Aren’t they mostly filled with people who just want to stir up controversy and start arguments?”

 

“No.”

 

“What’s so important about debating whether Joo Wooyoung would have debuted if he hadn’t been close to Lee Unha? They both debuted, and it’s all in the past now. And don’t just assume Joo Wooyoung landing in 4th was purely a change caused by the vote being reduced to one per person. There were many variables. The on-site vote scores, the extra benefit votes… all sorts of things….”

 

“Like you said, noona, he did look a bit nervous during the last performance… but it’s hard to say he did poorly… I mean, actually, the on-site vote was….”

 

“He wasn’t his usual self. But even if he hadn’t been linked with Unha, Wooyoung would have easily been in the debut range. His basics are excellent, and he has no major flaws. If anything, his lack of ‘broadcast sense’ was his only weakness. You can’t deny he received help from Unha in that regard….”

 

“…….”

 

“But if this had been a program that focused more on the basics rather than something like Idol Classism, he definitely would have been ranked higher. And….”

 

“And?”

 

“I actually feel that Unha actually benefited from his popularity too.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I mean, there were probably more viewers than you’d think who first became fans because of Wooyoung, or because of the story between Lee Unha and Joo Wooyoung, but when it finally came time to vote, they ended up giving their vote to Lee Unha instead.”

 

“Ah…!”

 

“More than half of Joo Wooyoung’s SNS followers might be people who come to see the photos he takes with Unha… and since you only have one vote and it’s the final one, people naturally vote for the one their heart leans toward most.”

 

“Mmm….”

 

In truth, it wasn’t something that applied only to Joo Wooyoung. The percentage of votes itself was just different. Strictly speaking, they weren’t even comparable. The gap between first and second place alone had been enormous, so what more was there to say? Compared to that gap, everyone below them was essentially just separated by razor-thin margins.

 

Thinking about it now…

 

‘It’s quite strange.’

 

Actually… truthfully, Lee Unha was quite ordinary. He certainly had a distinctive character, but he wasn’t an exceptionally good dancer, nor was he an exceptionally good singer. Of course, he had a pleasant vocal tone and his dance lines were unique, but he didn’t feel like someone with particularly outstanding fundamentals. He wasn’t even so unbelievably handsome that it could completely make up for all of those shortcomings. Of course, he was handsome… but not to the extent that his looks alone could create this kind of overwhelming gap.

 

He had an aura that made it hard to look away, but more than that….

 

‘Maybe it’s because he’s so genuine.’

 

Yes, it was probably because of that. Turning my gaze back, I saw Lee Unha crying his eyes out as he hugged those who didn’t make the debut group. They purposefully included that scene after all the announcements were finished.He seemed to have somewhat expected that he would finish in first place, and it looked like he had mentally prepared himself for it, but at the same time, he still couldn’t seem to grasp that this program had truly come to an end. It also looked as though it had only just dawned on him that he would no longer be able to spend his days together with the other trainees.

 

‘Well, I did hear they still kept in touch afterward…’

 

Back then, though, he probably hadn’t even had the presence of mind to think that far ahead.

 

“He’s crying like he’ll never see them again. Isn’t he meeting Han Yohan and the other trainees lately? He even posted a photo with Jeon Hocheol on SNS yesterday.”

 

“What would you know…? When you’re on-site, it’s hard to think rationally. There are all sorts of reasons beyond just the trainees who failed.”

 

“Is that why you drink every night while re-watching the final episode, noona?”

 

“…….”

 

“No, I’m not teasing, I’m genuinely curious.”

 

“…….”

 

“I mean it.”

 

“Sigh….”

 

“I really do.”

 

“It’s just… because it left me with lingering feelings, that’s all.”

 

“What kind of lingering feelings?”

 

“You wouldn’t understand even if I explained. I’ve been on many sets, and I went into this thinking it was just a job, but I feel totally drained. Honestly, I think I was influenced by the kids… it feels like I’m sending off my grown children.”

 

“You don’t even have a boyfriend, why are you talking about grown children?”

 

“Get out.”

 

“S-sorry.”

 

“Anyway, the point is that’s how I feel. And there are regrets, too. Of course, it wasn’t my show, but I keep thinking, ‘What if we did this here?’ or ‘What if we did that there?’ and thinking about not seeing them anymore makes me feel a bit depressed… I guess I grew very fond of the kids.”

 

“Can’t you just contact them?”

 

“I have their numbers, but why bother? Of course, I got texts like ‘Thank you for everything,’ but the point is they’re no longer under our jurisdiction. They’re probably incredibly busy right now. They just moved into their dorms and must be busy adjusting to a completely new environment. I’ll just sit here quietly and cheer for them.”

 

After talking for a long time, the ending credits finally began to roll on the screen. When I had first entered this industry, I remembered how proud I had been just to see my name appear in those brief credits. I had been so excited that I could barely sleep. As I got used to the work and became buried in it, laziness and boredom had taken the place of ambition, greed, or dreams, but….

 

‘This feels nice.’

 

Right now, I felt incredibly proud. It was the same feeling I’d had the very first time my name appeared in the credits. I hadn’t accomplished anything particularly extraordinary, nor had I done anything remarkable myself, but even so, the fact that I had stood there alongside the staff, the trainees, and my coworkers made me feel proud of myself.

 

‘I need to keep working hard.’

 

Yeah, I was certain that someday I would meet some of those trainees again. Both the ones who debuted and the ones who didn’t. When that day came, I didn’t want to be ashamed of myself. That thought filled my mind. 

 

‘I’ll work hard at my job and my fandom life again.’

 

“…….”

 

I felt like I was getting too sentimental. I stood up slightly from my seat.

 

“Noona is going to sleep. Clean up the table. Do the dishes, and clean the bathroom too.”

 

“Huh? You’re not washing up?”

 

“Tomorrow is a holiday. Just clear the drinks.”

 

“Mhm….”

 

“…….”

“…….”

 

“And….”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I saw your computer.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Keep working hard on ‘Glasses TV’ or whatever it is.”

 

“Wait? Ah?”

 

“Don’t you dare try to monetize it, Kyeongnam. The fans won’t like it.”

 

“Huh? Uh… wait, noona.”

 

“Wait my foot, you have plenty of subscribers.”

 

“No, noona!”

 

“Since when have you even been doing that? The direction you’re taking isn’t bad, but don’t turn into one of those clickbait rumor channels.”

 

“That’s not it, noona….”

 

“What do you mean it’s not it?”

 

“The teaser is out.”

 

“What?”

 

“The teaser is out….”

 

“?”

 

“Hasn’t the group not even decided on a name yet? But… the teaser’s already out?”

 

“They’ve decided on the group name too.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Fantasia.”

 

“…….”

 

“They said… it’s Fantasia….”

 

“What… kind of nonsense is that?”

 

The group name of the children I’d raised in my heart…

 

‘Fantasia?’

 

At the completely incomprehensible—no, unexpected—group name… my hands and feet began to tremble.