Debuting by Riding the Returnee’s Bus Chapter 141

Even as the actors busied themselves preparing to film the opening, the sight before my eyes still didn’t feel real.

 

‘Why on earth am I here?’

 

I turned my head as if asking whether this was really right. As if he had no idea what was going through my mind, Director Oh stood there wearing a satisfied smile. Even when I glared at him with clear dissatisfaction, that expression of his, filled with a thirst for recognition, showed no signs of vanishing. He had a face that practically demanded I praise his greatness.

 

‘Seriously… this… what is this ahjussi thinking? Why did he shove me into this show? Is this right? For real?’

 

I wasn’t trying to belittle Director Oh’s efforts. In fact, the very fact that he managed to land Lee Unha a spot on this program was astonishing. Considering it was the type of show where idols rarely appeared, my presence here was a surprise in itself. It became even more remarkable when I thought about how almost every guest on the program was either an actor promoting an upcoming movie or a distinguished figure known for making a positive impact on society.

 

There was no doubt Director Oh had pulled strings to get me onto a show people would kill to appear on, but…

 

‘What the hell does he expect me to do out here?!’

 

The problem was that I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing.

 

‘Seriously. What am I supposed to do?’

 

To make matters worse, this was my first time on a variety show.

 

‘I really don’t know variety.’

 

Furthermore, these weren’t just any actors. I didn’t know why such big names were gathered to film a variety show, but every single regular member here was a Ten-Million Actor. Surrounded by legendary actors who had even conquered the variety scene with Ten-Million-Actor Diner, I couldn’t imagine what I was supposed to show them.

 

The worst part was that I was here as a last-minute replacement. Because I was thrown in so suddenly, I didn’t even have time to talk to the writers. To exaggerate a little, it felt like I’d been thrown into a dungeon with nothing but the clothes on my back.

 

‘I couldn’t even do a proper pre-interview… does it make sense that they didn’t even give me a script?’

 

“…….”

 

‘Director Oh is something else, too. Does he think it’s over once he just shoves me in? What am I supposed to do if you force me into a good spot without a plan? I need to have some kind of ability to show something if I’m going to come back out with results. If these people were professional MCs, that would be one thing, but throwing me among people who don’t have a lick of interviewing skills… is that going to work? Do you just want to see me get trashed by fans asking why Lee Unha was even put in there?’

 

“…….”

 

‘There’s even a senior veteran actor here… no matter how I think about it, isn’t this overkill?’

 

Of course, there was no time to vent my frustrations. As if I were truly left alone in a dungeon, regardless of my will… this giant dungeon began to press down on Lee Unha. A voice urging me to come out quickly reached my ears.

 

“Well then! Let’s meet our guest of the hour. Hey! Bring out the guest!”

 

To exaggerate… it almost sounded like the roar of a monster. Naturally, the option to resist didn’t exist. The moment I saw the sketchbook the writer was holding, I moved my feet and opened my mouth. I was nervous because the path ahead was uncharted territory, but I had to do what I could.

 

‘Don’t be nervous… don’t be nervous. Just take it slow, like you’ve always done.’

 

“Hello! Hello! SAVE THE WORLD!! Let’s save the world!!! I am Lee Unha, the Vitamin of Fantasia!!!”

 

‘That wasn’t bad….’

 

“Come on… you don’t have to greet us that energetically here. Relax. Take it easy. We’re all taking it easy too… that’s the kind of show this is. I watched Idol Classism, by the way. A few months ago, that show had all of Korea talking.”

 

“Ah… really?! Thank you so much!”

 

I would bet my life he’d never actually watched it.

 

“Huh? I heard you’re not Fantasia’s vitamin… you’re Fantasia’s acting specialist. Isn’t that right?”

 

That line was definitely from a script. It was likely something someone had told him in advance. As if waiting for this, one of the four actors, Hwang Yumin, responded to the comment.

 

“It’s not just something you heard, it’s a fact, hyungnim.”

 

“Really? He looks like he’s hearing it for the first time…”

 

“Hyungnim… haven’t you seen the music video that’s trending lately? I heard it already has nearly 200 million views… Our guest today was a huge topic because of that MV. People are saying he’s a great actor… I heard directors are scrambling to cast him everywhere… why do you think? Even Actor Jung posted on social media saying he thought his acting was excellent… You didn’t know that either?”

 

I didn’t know that either.

 

“Actor Jung did?”

 

Naturally, a look of wonder crossed the veteran actor’s face as he heard this for the first time. To be honest, I had zero interest in the acting scene, so I didn’t even know who Actor Jung was, but he seemed to be someone well-respected in the industry.

 

Naturally, wonder was followed by doubt. He didn’t make it obvious, but he seemed a bit displeased. The other three actors treated it as ‘just a broadcast’, but this veteran’s perspective on acting was quite old-fashioned, so I could see why he felt that way.

 

‘Well… I don’t have a filmography, and all I’ve shown is one music video. If people are already saying I’m a great actor and directors are sending me casting offers, I guess it’d rub him the wrong way.’

 

It could easily come across as blatant media hype.

 

“Ah. So that’s why you came here today?”

 

“C-come on, hyungnim, you don’t know anything about this kid… just go over there and slice some onions, please….”

 

“Ah! I can slice onions well too! Shall I help?”

 

“No, no. Guests in our program don’t do anything. They just stay around and….”

 

Sure enough.

 

“No, if that’s the case… instead of leisurely cooking right now… shouldn’t we see some acting first?”

 

The veteran actor threw out the bait. That wasn’t in the script. I could tell by the expressions of the other actors.

 

‘Come on, Grandpa. I get how you feel, but… is it really okay to spring something like this out of nowhere?’

 

“Come on, Hyungnim! I told you to just peel onions. How can you ask him to act when he hasn’t prepared anything?”

 

‘Right. Even the other actors are trying to stop him. Does it make any sense to ask for acting right now?’

 

No matter how much this program relied on editing… honestly, there was a limit to that too. What was I supposed to do if he suddenly went off-script with an improv request?

 

But… he showed no sign of backing down. The other actors looked uneasy, and the writers and PD seemed quite flustered. Realizing they couldn’t break the old man’s stubbornness, the writers were even whispering among themselves.

 

It really looked like an improv play was about to break out. I realized then that seniority really was a power move. The attention focusing on me was burdensome, and yet I had to show them something.

 

‘Fine… let’s just go for it here.’

 

I had no idea which writer had decided to label me as Fantasia’s acting specialist, but honestly, I wasn’t completely lacking in confidence. Sure, I’d lose when it came to technical skills like voice projection, but imitating and reproducing other people’s behavior was something I’d done all my life.

 

‘I’ll just show them. What did that old man… act in… didn’t everyone do at least one noir movie?’

 

I didn’t know much, but I didn’t need to channel anyone specific. Simply put, the acting I could do best—the experience I was most familiar with—was being Lee Unha begging the Master for his life.

 

In the brief silence, I stared straight at the veteran actor and let out my voice. It was an act based on the calculation that if it failed, they would just edit it out.

 

“Save… save me.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Just once, please, won’t you give me just one more chance? I… I worked really hard. You know that, Sir. I… I really… I really worked hard… so… why are you doing this to me all of a sudden…? There wasn’t a single errand you gave me that I didn’t complete. So why? Why all of a sudden… I really didn’t look at what was in the box… I swear I didn’t look….”

 

“Uh….”

 

“I won’t say a word to anyone, I swear. That box. I can forget everything about the delivery. Even if you beat me to death, I won’t say a thing. I mean it. Please believe me. I’m begging you. Like this. Please? Please?”

 

“…….”

 

“I have younger siblings, you know. They only have me to look to… what will happen to them now… uh… let go! L-Let go of me! Please let go!!!! Please!!! PLEASE!!!! Let go of this…!!!!”

 

“…….”

 

After pushing away invisible hands, I approached the veteran actor and grabbed his pant leg.

 

“Please save me! Sir! Please… please save me!”

 

“…….”

 

‘Wait, but… Why isn’t he reacting?’

 

“…….”

 

‘Is it that bad?’

 

“…….”

 

I thought I made it feel pretty real… Was this too much? Did I… did I fail?’

 

“…….”

 

‘Was the character building off? Was the role of a courier being disposed of… too much like an extra?’

 

I subtly gauged the mood. I didn’t even know if what I was doing counted as acting, but I couldn’t tell if it was right to continue or not.

 

‘What if this is a complete disaster?’

 

I glanced around nervously. Or rather, I straightened up and looked toward the veteran actor.

 

And then.

 

I saw the old man, his hands trembling.

 

‘What’s with this old man? Why is he… acting like that?’

 

From the side, I heard Actor Hwang’s voice.

 

“Wow. Holy sh*t, that acting was terrifying.”

 

‘Are you even allowed to swear on TV?’

 

“Now is not the time to be peeling onions. Come here for a second and sit down.”

 

The other actors started joining in one by one.

 

“What was your name again?”

 

“I… I’m Lee Unha. Vitamin! Lee Unha!”

 

“Unha, what was that music video again? I think I need to look it up.”

 

“Ah! It comes up if you search for <PARADISE> by <Fantasia>! Actually, I don’t have that many scenes. My role was the Dark Mage, and though it might sound a bit weird, our group’s concept is a fantasy world. The explanation for the lore is a bit complex… If you’re curious, I can explain everything step by step.”

 

“No, forget that, just come over here and sit down!”

 

“Forget filming—I need to crack open a bottle of soju. Damn, I’m seriously questioning my life right now.”

 

Even the old man, whose hands had been shaking, joined the group. Before I could even gather my thoughts, everyone had clustered around me.

 

“Where… did you learn to act? Which theater troupe? How old were you when you started…?”

 

‘But this old man… why is he looking at me like that?’

 

“Huh? I… I’ve never been part of a theater troupe… and I’ve never formally studied acting…

 

‘Why are you looking at me… as if you’re looking at your own grandson?’

 

His eyes practically dripped with affection. Even the way he spoke had changed. At first, everyone had a playful atmosphere as if they were just here to film variety, but now that playfulness was gone. It felt so incredibly serious that I was getting flustered.

 

‘Are we even filming anymore? Didn’t this suddenly turn into a private conversation?’

 

The youngest actor didn’t even bother filtering himself anymore.

 

“Hey, hey! Cut the crap! Don’t lie to us! You’ve never studied acting? Do you think we’re idiots?”

 

“I-It’s true… I was an idol trainee. I trained at QR, then went straight onto Idol Classism. I’ve never been to an acting academy.”

 

“A lie… no, please tell me it’s a lie. Please….”

 

“Pwahahaha!”

 

“Hahahahahaha! Look at Yeonjin.”

 

“Ah… b-but it’s not like I never studied at all.”

 

“Right? I knew it!”

 

“I studied by looking in the mirror and watching videos on my own.”

 

“Man… wow, I really can’t stand this. Wait a second. hyung, I’m going to go grab any script I can find.”

 

“You want to do a scene together?”

 

“How could I possibly resist?”

 

“Wait… let me see a script too….”

 

“But doesn’t Actor Lee Unha look a little overwhelmed?”

 

‘I am not an actor. What are you people talking about?’

 

“Huh? I… I’m not an actor.”

 

“What’s so special about being an actor? If you study acting and approach it seriously, everyone is an actor.”

 

‘I’m not taking it that seriously, though.’

 

“No, wait… Yeonjin, let me see the script too.”

 

“You can use the script if you want, Unha. A psychopath role is a bit much, right? You’re an idol, after all. We should protect your image. Ah… no, but I really want to see it now. After watching PARADISE, I want to even more. Can’t you do it just once?”

 

“Pardon?”

 

“Or maybe something else. How about a romance scene?”

 

“Ah… no. Instead of ro-romance, I’ll… do the psychopath.”

 

“Really?”

 

All four of them stared intently at me.

 

“Ri-right now?”

 

“…….”

“…….”

“…….”

 

‘Seriously, Actors… what are you doing right now…?’

 

Granted, I wasn’t really in a position to complain after I was the one who’d suddenly launched into a performance first… But this had gone far beyond merely being awkward.

 

I turned my gaze to the staff as if to ask if this was right. I was worried that the nature of the program had changed too much, but… those worries were groundless. Far from looking troubled, they all wore expressions that screamed ‘We’ve struck jackpot’.

 

For various reasons, the area behind the cameras began to get busy. The writers hurriedly scribbled things onto cue boards and held them up.

 

‘Wait, is this allowed? For real?’

 

In the midst of that… I saw Director Oh, mixed among the staff, giving me a thumbs-up.

 

‘Seriously, that man….’

 

It wasn’t something to say to an elder, but he had an expression that made me want to give him a good smack.