Debuting by Riding the Returnee’s Bus – Chapter 162

Author: LyraDhani

[Title: I’ve been a Kim Haejun fan since TOP9… but I went to the Fantasia fansign today and my mood was ruined because of him. Long post warning, photos included]

[Author: Haeju] [Views: 11,421] [Comments: 442]

[I’ve lived for Kim Haejun alone since he first showed his face on the survival program [TOP9], through his rest period after his contract was terminated, and even when he was doing features for other rappers while uploading his personal work.

I’ve spent a ton on fan support projects, even donated under Kim Haejun’s name. Hongdae performances? I never missed one. Seriously, I did nothing else and just lived for Kim Haejun. But it was all for nothing. F*ck. I’m saying this just in case: I’m not making things up. ^^ I know there’s a lot of targeted hate for Kim Haejun here. I’m not trying to join in on nonsensical bullshit. I believe that even when you’re bashing someone, you have to be clear on the facts, so let me set the record straight first.

There’s a lot of ridiculous hate based on photos of him hanging out with old rappers, but Kim Haejun doesn’t smoke. He doesn’t drink either… Dating issues? None. You don’t believe me? You don’t have to. That’s just what I know.

But… hehe…

[Video of Kim Haejun at the fan signing]

He definitely seems to have caught a serious case of Artist Disease.

[Photos and GIFs of Kim Haejun at the fan signing]

I said this was a long post, but I won’t ramble.

[Video of Kim Haejun at the fan signing]

It hasn’t even been a year since debut, and he already has dead fish eyes and can’t do a single thing properly. It was so obvious that he looks down on fans that I had an immediate reality check the moment I saw that expression. I regret all the time I spent following him. He acted like that throughout the fansign and then went inside saying he was sick, and now I’m curious what he’s actually doing ^^;;

In the end, only the other members were left to finish the fansign, do the talk, and perform. They all had bad expressions but couldn’t show it, and Unha especially worked hard to fix the mess, but it didn’t even work. Just a total disaster. Fans who were actually at the signing probably know what I mean.

I was originally going to just leave the fandom quietly, but I felt so wronged by my past years that I’m leaving this post. Haejun. I didn’t even believe the rumors when they said you were terminating your contract with [TOP9].

I didn’t believe the rumors when those controversial photos came out, or when the accident happened with Taehee… but maybe I was wrong.

I can’t support you like I used to, but I hope you promote without causing harm to the other members. ^^ Fighting!!]

‘This is scary. These kinds of posts are even scarier….’

The post I mustered the courage to read felt terrifying. I could feel the author suppressing and bottling up their anger. Because anyone could tell this was a real fan of Kim Haejun, it hit much harder than a crude insult.

‘This… isn’t this seriously bad?’

It would have been better if it were just someone spouting nonsense to bash Kim Haejun or making up ridiculous lies. But the review felt painfully real. Even to my eyes, I realized this was closer to a formal grievance filed by someone truly disappointed in Kim Haejun.

And this wasn’t the only review of its kind.

Fans disappointed in Kim Haejun were gradually agreeing and empathizing with this author, slowly beginning to take over the community. Add to that the fans of other idols and trolls who saw this as an opportunity to cause a scene, and it was safe to say a literal age of chaos had arrived.

The posts in other communities told the same story.

‘Wow. What do we do? Seriously?’

Compared to what was out there, the post I’d just read was practically gentle.

Because Kim Haejun’s appearance at the fansign truly looked like a terminal patient of ‘Artist Disease, the more negative and closed-off communities were filled with all sorts of profanities and crude language.

The fans were feeling exactly what I had felt earlier. Many were furious over him becoming an ‘Ah, really?’ bot, or his behavior of ignoring and dismissing fans who had easily spent millions of won just to be there. Even those who weren’t Fantasia fans but stanned other idols were getting angry together, as if it were a situation they had experienced themselves.

In this situation, some people tried to understand Kim Haejun’s side, leading to bickering matches that only drew more aggro. The comment sections were a total melting pot of chaos.

[User1]: Wasn’t Kim Haejun actually sick? I’m an <Aether> who was also at the fansign, and Unha said Haejun had been unwell since morning. He was originally going to rest, but he insisted on coming out and only left when he couldn’t hold on any longer. The members all looked worried, and Unha seemed very flustered too. I understand the author’s feelings, but if you’re a real fan, I wish you could have been more understanding of the situation. It’s a shame.

[User2]: Can’t you see the videos and photos? Does that look like a sick person? He just looks annoyed and irritated. Stop shielding him. I’ve heard some wild excuses, but this is the limit. Like the author said, it’s my first time seeing an idol with those kinds of eyes less than a year after debut. Unha probably just sent him back claiming he was sick because he couldn’t stand watching him anymore… and you believe that?

[User3]: No matter how sick you are, is that attitude normal? Honestly, I don’t even believe he was sick. I was a Kim Haejun fan, but I can’t shield him this time. I’ve completely lost interest. I’m leaving the fandom.

‘It’s a disaster.’

I could see a massive amount of replies under those three most-upvoted comments. The content was all similar. Since Kim Haejun already had many enemies in the communities, all sorts of hate were being piled on him.

In this situation, the original [TOP9] fandom was cheering with joy. The same people who had spent months spreading rumors about why Kim Haejun’s contract with [TOP9] had ended now seemed to be acting in a much more coordinated way.

At this point, it wasn’t easy to distinguish if they were actually the [TOP9] fandom. Too many people were weighing in on this matter, mixing in with the crowd to spit out a word or two.

‘This video has already spread to the clickbait NewTube channels…….’

[@DMKAMDKM1K12414]: Why do you think YM terminated the contract with Kim Haejun? Even an agency known for constantly having scandals couldn’t keep him because his personality was that rotten.

[@ahn119118]: Looks like he’ll get his contract terminated again~ Still has that Artist Disease~ Fans who knew him from before all knew… they just weren’t talking about it

‘Aren’t these types usually [TOP9] fans? The ones who always say ‘I knew it all along’~’

[@QQQ111]: I can see how much our Han suffered. He was under so much stress ever since debut. JH left the group and then died in that accident… And now Kim Haejun has turned out like this. Honestly, TOP9 deserved to become much bigger considering their talent. I hope they finally succeed now.

‘No, no… they aren’t even trying to hide it anymore.’

Literally. It seemed they had no intention of hiding it at all. Those who had promoted while hiding their identity as [TOP9] fans were now openly pushing the frame that [TOP9] failed because of Kim Haejun, trying to shift the blame for the group’s failure onto him.

They’d restarted the same public opinion campaign they’d already tried—and failed—to pull off a long time ago. Replies like ‘We’re cheering for you’ and ‘Hope you guys do even better’ were suddenly racking up upvotes, as if someone had coordinated them.

‘Seriously, just because of that, you think the failed [TOP9] going to come back to life? What is wrong with them? [TOP9] didn’t fail because of Kim Haejun. Get a grip, seriously.’

“…….”

‘Do they really not know… that their own group were the actual pieces of trash? Wouldn’t real fans know that?’

Why did all those people saying they had ‘known about Kim Haejun for a long time’ not know the fact that JH was bullied by them and forced out? It was hard to understand why they didn’t know that JH was the reason behind Kim Haejun’s contract termination.

‘Is YM running a campaign at this point?’

“…….”

‘Wait… is [TOP9] having a comeback or something? Huh? Are they promoting at the same time as us?’

Of course, I wasn’t denying that Kim Haejun had messed up, but because blood is thicker than water, I found myself looking for causes elsewhere. My heart ached even more because I knew this wasn’t actually Kim Haejun’s fault.

Even now, seeing him sitting in the very back corner of the van with a bewildered expression left an uncomfortable feeling in my chest. I remembered Kim Taeyeol swallowing his depression in that same seat last time and now, Kim Haejun had taken his place. At this rate, that corner seat was going to become the designated spot for depressed members.

“Hey, Artist Kim Haejun! Are you okay? Don’t get too discouraged… There’s always next time for fan meetings… You were sick, so what could you do? There’s a lot of talk on the internet… let’s accept what we should and ignore the rest.”

“Yes….”

“Let’s prove it with the album… alright?”

‘Dammit, Director Oh, please stop bringing up the full album.’

“Ah… yes… yes.”

‘Can someone really be this tactless?’

“It’s okay, Haejun hyung. We managed to smooth things over. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

“Unha, you did a great job.”

“Taeyeol hyung was great too. Ah, I didn’t get to say it earlier, but you worked hard covering Haejun hyung’s parts too.”

“Oh… r-really? Well, it was the natural thing to do.”

“…….”

I tried to initiate a conversation, but as expected, Kim Haejun, sitting in the depression seat, couldn’t utter a word. He looked like he’d rather not hear anything at all.

‘Seriously… what do I do with him?’

I was already doing everything I could, so I felt even more at a loss.

‘I’ve already comforted him enough, said we’d do it together, and cheered for him as carefully as possible without getting in his way. But if even that doesn’t solve it, what then?’

“…….”

‘Should I just remove Kim Haejun from the album production entirely? Is that the only way?’

“…….”

And the absolute worst part hadn’t even arrived yet. Regardless of my desire to stay close to Kim Haejun, <Fantasia> was about to enter individual activities. This meant Lee Unha would no longer have time to personally care for Kim Haejun.

Soon… once the news of Lee Unha’s drama contract spread to the media, it might be possible to flip this situation where Kim Haejun was tanking all the hate alone, but still, Kim Haejun wouldn’t change. He would still tremble and blackout whenever the album was mentioned, paralyzed by fear.

‘Maybe… maybe… I should tell Director Gu that someone else should take charge of producing the album instead of Kim Haejun.’

Just as I was preparing to give up on him to some extent and thinking about my next course of action….

Director Oh spoke up again.

“Ah, and….”

“Yes, Director Oh.”

“This is just something I happened to hear through the grapevine.”

“?”

“If our album comes out as planned, the promotion period is going to overlap with [TOP9]….”

“?”

“Our Artist Kim Haejun, you didn’t exactly end on good terms with them, did you? Huh?! You can totally crush [TOP9]. Right?”

‘I mean, seriously, Director Oh. Stop saying that kind of—’

Afraid he was only piling more pressure onto Kim Haejun, I instinctively turned to look at him.