Struggle Chapter 102

There was no time to receive empty pleasantries. Taerok, having leaped off his horse, strode forward with the magistrate leading the way. Because of the Grand Prince’s apparent intent to depart immediately, the magistrate had to walk as if his groin were splitting just to match his stride.

“We have mobilized fishermen and the people to search. The ship has already been discovered, and seven of the fifteen envoys have been recovered….”

“What of Nanyoung.”

“Pardon?”

Taerok pressed his forehead firmly for a moment, killing his surging temper. It felt as though there was a fireball inside him, and if he wavered even slightly, he might commit any act whatsoever.

“Grand Prince Heonui. Has he been found.”

“Your Highness, Grand Prince Jaga, I am mortified, however….”

“Do not speak at length. I go directly to Gwangdolmok.”

Taerok immediately mounted a newly prepared horse. His retainers likewise, as soon as they had wet their throats, followed behind him.

Hoping only that nothing would occur whereby the Grand Prince would be found dead in Pyeonggak, the magistrate also had all the government soldiers bear torches and followed behind them.

Gwangdolmok before the sun had yet risen looked like a place where an imugi churns and writhes, seeking to ascend to heaven. The currents raged fiercely, and because of this, a ceaseless wailing roar arose. Due to the still-present darkness, there is no telling how chillingly that sound raised one’s hackles.

Even in this place that awakened the human instinct of terror, Taerok seemed utterly without fear. The Pyeonggak magistrate, holding a torch, stepped carefully over the slippery rocks. Even he, who resided here, was this frightened, but the Grand Prince who strode ahead was unhindered. The gaze of the Grand Prince, who had snatched a torch for himself, was as desperately urgent as if he had lost his lover, as if he had lost his only child. The one he sought now seemed not his nephew but his own life, and that atmosphere was as menacing as an imugi searching for its lost wish-fulfilling jewel.

“Nanyoung!”

Taerok shouted that name until he tasted blood in his throat. A name to which even all of these—his own life, lover, family, wish-fulfilling jewel—were insufficient comparisons.

But cruelly, the frenzied roar of the currents at Gwangdolmok easily swallowed that desperate cry. Was it in this manner that the ship carrying Nanyoung had been chewed and crushed? Taerok glared at the sea with eyes blazing blood-red.

Though the winter wind was bitter, sweat beaded on his forehead. Risking a twisted ankle, Taerok unhesitatingly traversed the slippery rocks, stones, and deeply sinking sand.

“Lee Nanyoung!”

Even the other exhausted search party members drew strength from that screaming voice. If only day would break, if only their surroundings were bright, it would be better.

They glared at the merciless sky several times. And then, as if that heartfelt wish had finally reached, day began to break.

“Jaga! Day is breaking!”

The Pyeonggak magistrate cried out in a hoarse voice. At that sound, Taerok, who had been so absorbed he had not even noticed their surroundings beginning to brighten, whipped his head around.

His eyes blazed in the sunrise. Those eyes, burning a scarlet red, stared recklessly into the sun, then he bit his lip faintly.

“We must hurry before the tide comes in.”

Because the breaking of day was not a wholly welcome thing.

“Hurry. Quickly!”

Taerok turned his head and roared at the men standing there.

‘No, if Nanyoung has come to harm, I will drink the poison myself.’

His own voice drove at his back.

Poison? There is not even enough time to drink poison. Without waiting for it, I will immediately cut my throat. I will slit my own throat, pierce my chest, and follow after Lee Nanyoung.

The rocks, slick and glossy from the sea wind and saltwater, glittered as they caught the sunlight. The light reflected from them stabbed at the eyes. Taerok shielded his eyes with his hand and walked unsteadily.

He feared the tide might come in. His cotton boots were already soaked through. Accordingly, his steps grew heavy.

“Lee Nanyoung.”

Taerok muttered as if calling the name of a sworn enemy.

“Come back and I will give you everything.”

He could no longer exist as a Grand Prince. Lee Nanyoung had stripped everything from him. He was neither a Grand Prince nor a rebel. Neither Lee Nanyoung’s uncle, nor the king’s uncle, nor the late king’s younger brother.

“Yet you have taken all that I have.”

Taerok furrowed his brows, dry from salt.

“We were all there was from the start….”

He is suddenly overcome with the desire to return to his first meeting with Nanyoung. To when Nanyoung, though shy, hid behind the hem of his robes saying Mr. Kim Saon was frightening—no, to even earlier than that… to when Nanyoung grabbed his finger. And he wants to begin everything again. If my rebellious heart, if what my heart chose, is what drove you to this point, then I would have shaken off that hand and refused to become your teacher.

Taerok regrets. Not regret for not having committed his wicked deeds thoroughly, but a regret that permeates everything… a piercing regret.

“Nanyoung….”

Taerok let a single tear drop fall. Soon the incoming tide takes it and it disappears.

“If you leave after turning me into a beast that avoids you… what am I to do….”

And then, where Taerok’s endlessly trudging footsteps led him, a pale white cloth came into view.

Taerok stood stock-still upon discovering that cloud-like thing. Wondering if it might be a phantom visible only to his own eyes, he squeezed his eyes shut three times, opened them, blinked, and then, throwing aside the already-burned-out torch, he ran.

“Lee Nanyoung.”

Let it be Lee Nanyoung. It must be Lee Nanyoung. Only Lee Nanyoung….

His splashing steps resembled the sound of the waves, and it was as if Taerok himself became a wave approaching Nanyoung. And when he turned the collapsed body over, after repeatedly stroking the pale face with the sea at his back, he seized him as if clutching at sand and imprisoned him in his arms.

“Nanyoung.”

Taerok opened the front of his robes and pressed the warmth of his own chest against the cold-frozen cheek.

“Nanyoung.”

Because the only words he could utter were the terribly powerless repetition of your name, hoping that just once among them it might reach you and wake you, Taerok lifted Nanyoung into his arms.

“Here! Grand Prince Heonui is here!”

Taerok’s voice choked thickly at the end. Though there was this much water, he was burning up.

“Quickly…!”

Drenched through, Taerok shouted in a drowning voice, and carrying the equally soaked Nanyoung, walked unsteadily. Even if his voice was buried in the wail of Gwangdolmok, his appearance could not be swallowed up.

“Quickly, bring cotton blankets… quickly….”

Suppressing his tears, Taerok carried the young man in his arms and escaped the sea.

“Quickly….”

A nephew and royal kinsman, a lover and his very life, at times like his own child,

“Quickly, Nanyoung….”

My scandal, my sin, Nanyoung.

∞ ∞ ∞

They say life is something where you cannot see an inch ahead, and Nanyoung was precisely like that.

The wind, which had been calm when he departed, began to grow fierce at some point, and along with it, the waves too rose violently as if throwing a tantrum. It was so rough there was no room to even feel dizziness.

By the time he sensed that this wind was not merely passing but unusual, they had already turned the bow around. But even though they turned and left the sea route, it had merely bought a little time; they had not truly escaped.

“Jaga! The water course is treacherous! Please come inside!”

Sim Eung called out to Nanyoung, who was gripping the bow. Though Nanyoung staggered and tried to move his feet, he could only reel every two steps.

Sim Suhwan, having fretted helplessly beside Nanyoung, finally grabbed hold of him and moved, staggering.

“Can the ship endure?!”

Having just completed an arduous schedule with immense pressure, Nanyoung’s body was at its limit more than usual. Nanyoung held onto Suhwan and asked.

“…I will protect His Highness, no matter what!”

Suhwan gave the best answer he could, rather than uncertain hope.

Even if Sim Suhwan had threatened Nanyoung and personally betrayed his father’s friend, his fundamental nature was not vicious. And whatever the case, could the betrayal he committed not be converted into loyalty? Even now, Sim Suhwan was making amends with his own brand of fealty. Throughout the grueling schedule, Nanyoung had pushed himself to the brink yet never lost his composure and dignity to the very end. Was it because Suhwan realized anew that this was not a beautiful young man fit to be his plaything, but a Grand Prince and a pillar supporting the foundation of the state? Even if he could not apologize, Suhwan wished to atone.

“So please hold onto me tightly!”

Nanyoung, relying on Suhwan, moved step by step. It was then that something like the wail of an imugi reached their ears.