Hit by a Pitched Ball Chapter 19

I just wanted to loosen up a little. Caught off guard by an unexpected response, Yunjae’s face flushed red in an instant. Whether the comment had been intentional or not, Taebeom simply curved his lips. Without waiting for an answer, he walked over to the refrigerator.

Before long, Taebeom returned with two beer cans in each of his wide-open hands. His large hands, skilled at gripping a ball, made holding a couple of beer cans look effortless, not the least bit burdensome.

Coming closer, Taebeom nudged Yunjae with his shoulder and guided him to the sofa. Drink it down quick, hm? With a fox-like smile so lewd it was almost wicked, Taebeom’s playful teasing drew a small laugh from Yunjae.

“Do you live alone?”

To be precise, what he meant was “Do you live alone ‘in a place like this’?” but Yunjae asked vaguely.

“Yeah? Since I left the dorms. My parents don’t live here.”

“Ah… They don’t?”

For an instant, Yunjae’s neck stiffened. His head, which had only processed “don’t live,” set off alarms. He’d asked a pointless question. Turning pale, Yunjae didn’t know what to do and glanced sideways at Taebeom’s reaction. In the sudden accumulating silence, Taebeom, who had been wiping the condensation off the beer can with his hand, instead paused.

“I know what you’re thinking, but I meant they don’t live here. They live abroad. Toronto.”

“Ah…”

His face, which had been going white, immediately brightened. Yunjae was genuinely relieved. Watching Yunjae’s expression change by the minute, Taebeom looked incredulous and set the beer can down with a clink. Then, with narrowed eyes, he met Yunjae’s gaze.

The corners of Yunjae’s mouth, which had been smiling joyfully with eyes crinkled, slowly returned to their original place. It was because of the suddenly serious look in his eyes. Taebeom’s gaze fixed on Yunjae’s expression, which changed with every swing of his eyes. It was fascinating how his emotions were always so plainly revealed, despite looking like someone who wouldn’t. The persistent gaze fell away as Yunjae’s smile disappeared.

Taebeom missed the vanished smile. It was only after thinking that that he came to his senses. Missed? He was exasperated with himself. Smiling self-deprecatingly, Taebeom opened a beer can and handed the one he was holding to Yunjae, opening his mouth.

“Anyway. Can I ask why you suddenly changed your mind?”

Taking the beer can, its surface now moist from Taebeom’s hand, Yunjae rubbed the dry side with his finger for no reason. To hide his nervousness, he hurriedly took a sip. Embarrassed, the tips of his fingers holding the beer trembled faintly.

“I don’t know. Rather than changing my mind…”

Pushing the remote forward and pressing the button to turn on the TV, Taebeom rolled only his eyes up to look at him lazily. Meeting his gaze in silence, Yunjae too blinked slowly. At those dry eyes, his saliva flowed heavily down his esophagus.

“…Because it’d be a waste.”

“A waste? …What?”

Taebeom, who had put the rim of the can to his lips, lowered it again without drinking. As if it was an unexpected answer, his eyes, filled with curiosity, were persistent. Staring silently at the tenacious gaze, Yunjae felt a pulse pounding beneath his ears. Feeling his throat tighten, Yunjae forced himself to swallow.

Meeting the eyes of Taebeom, who was staring straight at his face, Yunjae didn’t continue speaking and only gave an awkward laugh. A hollow laugh followed, as if he’d expected that. Letting out a laugh like a sigh, Taebeom rubbed his curved lips and spoke in a suggestive tone.

“I’ve said this before, but you know you’re really interesting, hyung?”

“You’re the first person who’s ever said I’m interesting. Even my parents never said that.”

“Well, does interesting have to mean funny?”

“Of course?”

Recalling the dictionary definition of “interesting,” Yunjae furrowed one brow. Is there another meaning besides that? He rolled the word around in his head again. No matter how he thought about it, funny things came to mind first. For example, programs he’d never missed, where several men played ridiculous games.

“You don’t watch baseball because it’s funny, do you?”

“Why do you think it isn’t?”

“What’s funny about it?”

“…”

Yunjae wore a rather pathetic expression, then smiled bitterly. Do you call that baseball? That kind of… you don’t know? …Well, I guess. A sigh, almost a groan, escaped Yunjae’s mouth as he faced the innocent gaze looking up at him.

The self-talk in the form of questions and answers seemed quite amusing to Taebeom, who laughed heartily. He even tilted his head back against the edge of the sofa and leaned fully into it, giggling. Yunjae’s gaze landed on that deeply dimpled smile. A face like an excited boy filled his vision. He didn’t stop there; he even lightly wiped the gathered tears with his index finger. The chuckling faded away. He’d seen it on TV too, but strangely, he couldn’t take his eyes off it.

“Ah… really. So unexpected.”

“That’s also the first time I’ve heard that. I’ve only ever heard people say I’m boring because I’m too consistent.”

“That’s because they didn’t know hyung was this attractive.”

At an answer far beyond the bounds of what a normal person would say, he was utterly dumbfounded. Yunjae opened his lips, which he’d been keeping pressed together awkwardly, a little gruffly.

“…Isn’t the one who’s attracted the weird one?”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why… Normal men don’t get attracted to other men.”

“I didn’t say man. I said hyung.”

Turning his body to sit sideways, Taebeom folded his arms on the back of the sofa. Resting his chin on them, he looked up at Yunjae with only his eyes. The smile hanging on his lips was mischievous. Yunjae quickly averted his gaze.

“Anyway, I’ve never heard that before.”

He was seized by a dangerous feeling that he shouldn’t look any longer. Yunjae turned his gaze to the opposite side and thought. When he’d gotten entangled with men who were having their first time with a man, they’d only been focused on novelty. Their actions were based more on curiosity than emotion or sexual desire.

As a result, Yunjae naturally couldn’t enjoy himself either. Since he didn’t enjoy it, he kept pulling away, and the other party found him boring. On top of that, a man’s body was hard and uninteresting, with nothing to touch, and with no reaction, they said it felt like being neutered.

Try crying out in pleasure like other men do. The other’s words made Yunjae an even more boring person. And now, attractive. It was a moment when Taebeom’s taste—the man who said it was his first time with a man—became truly suspicious.

No, should he say it was unfortunate? However, upon hearing Yunjae’s answer, Taebeom instead clicked his tongue repeatedly as if feeling sorry for him. And the nonchalant words that flowed from his mouth were truly a sight to behold.

“That’s what people who don’t know how to eat say. I can size it up at a glance. It must have been really boring.”

“…You get told you have an overinflated ego a lot, don’t you?”

“Well, I don’t know. For a first time, I think I did pretty well. Ah, you don’t remember, hyung? It was no joke.”

I remember. You bastard. Not all of it is clear, but the sex after I came to my senses remained like an afterimage and tormented me the whole time. The fact that I ended up coming here is also a result of that. If I had absolutely no memory, I would never have come this far. At the very least, I wouldn’t have done the crazy thing of getting tangled up again with a man who’d only been with women.

“Hyung.”

“Yes?”

“You really think a lot.”

“It’s my personality.”

Every now and then during the conversation, when he felt troubled, he drank, and the beer can had gotten considerably lighter. Noticing this, Taebeom took the can from Yunjae’s hand and set it on the living room table. Yunjae, who had once again wiped the newly formed condensation on his thigh, had his eyes darting around busily.

“Your house is really nice.”

“Ah, I’ll give you the code. I have a card too, but I can’t remember where it is. That’d be more convenient for you too, right?”

“Why would I need the code?”

“…”

At Yunjae’s question, a look came back that said, “Are you really asking because you don’t know?” Yunjae persisted in playing dumb and subtly averted his gaze.

“Honestly, I don’t care where we are, but it seems like you’re more uncomfortable, hyung. Your place was a bit cramped.”

“…Not really.”

It was a moment when his home’s usefulness was being downgraded. Yunjae, red up to the nape of his neck, blinked awkwardly. Eventually surrendering to the persistent gaze, he nodded slowly.

“Would a hotel be better?”

“Not at all.”

“I thought so. Then there’s no other choice left but here. Unless… is your preference doing it in a car or outside?”