Chapter 65

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Author: chef

Episode 65: 


While Joohyuk was hardened, Soohyun was holding his breath while leaning on him. His headache, which had been painful and made him dizzy, seemed to be getting better. The cautious pheromones wrapped around his body felt unusually warm.


Without realizing it, he rubbed my head around Joohyuk’s neck. At first, he could smell the strong cigarette smell, but the alpha pheromone, which was stronger than that, touched his whole body in an instant.


He felt a gentle hand touching his head.


At the familiar touch, the tension and anxiety all over the place was pleasantly released. As he felt his body calm, he gently closed his trembling eyelids.


Did he lose consciousness for a moment, or did he fall asleep?


Soohyun woke up and realized that he was sitting on Joohyuk’s thigh and hugging him. A large, warm hand was placed on Suhyun’s bewildered head.


“Are you okay?”


Worry crept into his voice. It was so similar to a time in the past that it almost brought tears to his eyes in an instant.


The hand that fell off while stroking his hair automatically brought him back to his senses.


He found out late that Joohyuk’s left wrist had an old watch that was originally his.


It was a watch that had never been taken out even when he grew up, that now, there was a ring around his wrist where the watch originally was.


He took his eyes off of it and lifted his head that was leaning on Joohyuk, but even then, he could see the hem of the jacket still held in his hands. Without even thinking of understanding why he was holding it, he immediately pulled himself up and stood up. Joohyuk, who got up behind him, looked at Soohyun’s face carefully, without even thinking of removing his dirty clothes from sitting on the floor. After sleeping for a while, his blood color has returned.


“How long have you been like this? What about the hospital?”


“It’s none of your business.”


Soohyun, who had adjusted his clothes, said coldly. However, Joohyuk’s worries were not to be easily dismissed. As a bodyguard, he was even more worried because he  knew him when he was by his side.


“Are you eating well? Aren’t you eating only light things? Soohyun, you have a habit of acting like a patient when you are sick… … !”


“Chairman Lee Joohyuk.”


Soohyun, who cut off Joohyuk’s words, looked at him.


“Thank you for your concern, but it seems like you are paying too much attention to this.”


“… … .”


“I hope that from now on, you will not care about my physical condition.”


Soohyun, who had gained strength, grabbed the papers from the table and immediately opened the door to the meeting room. Joohyuk, who had his eyes down, soon followed after him.


At the same time, Junwoo, who was waiting at the end of the hallway where the meeting room was, looked nervous, unlike his usual self.


It was Soohyun who put Junwoo outside the room saying not to worry. He believed that his heart would not be shaken, but no matter how many times he was left alone with Lee Joohyuk, he couldn’t help but feel anxious.


The door of the meeting room, which had been tightly closed, opened and Soohyun appeared. For some reason, he saw Joohyuk with a worried face, but he didn’t care and walked straight to Soohyun. He wanted to approach him as soon as possible and check his condition.


“Thank you for your effort.”


Junwoo, who greeted Soohyun politely, quickly intervened between him and Joohyuk. Joohyuk’s steps stopped abruptly and his eyes widened. Junwoo looked at Joohyuk coldly and said hello out loud.


“Chairman Lee Joohyuk, please take care.”


Leaving those words behind, he followed Soohyun.


Joohyuk, who was left alone in the hallway, bit his lip painfully.


He seemed to know who the owner of the pheromone left in Soohyun was. It was the man who was attached to Soohyun as a secretary and bodyguard, and the man who was the leader of the motorcycle group he had met in the past. Judging from the huge amount of pheromone and the breathtaking concentration, he was clearly a dominant alpha.


In order for the pheromone to remain so thick, simply being around was not enough. It was clear that they had a fairly close bond by releasing pheromone generously.


He clenched both fists. He felt the pain of his nails digging into his palm, but it gave him more strength nonetheless. He had to somehow suppress the rising possessiveness and jealousy.


‘I have no qualifications. I already know.’


He thought it was natural for Soohyun to look for another alpha. Even so, he was short of breath and his heart ached. He couldn’t think of anything else, and it became so far-fetched that it wouldn’t be strange if he lost his mind like this.


The stomach cramps that seemed normal now, and the chest pain that felt like he was being stabbed with a knife every day, felt more painful today than ever before.


‘Have you been feeling this pain for a year?’


Joohyuk leaned his back against the cold wall in the hallway and closed his eyes with a parched face. Recalling the terrible sensations Soohyun must have felt while serving as his bodyguard, he gritted his teeth at himself, who was so foolish.


* * *


Immediately after the collaboration between Muyeol Group and Shinwoo Group was signed, two young presidents from both sides went out to inspect the resort site. The moving personnel were executives, including key figures in the operation, and bodyguards, including their respective secretaries. Even then, the number of people was considerable.


Since the site was mostly forested, it was expected that it would take a considerable amount of time just to harvest the trees. In addition, the abandoned villa in the middle of the site all agreed and proposed to be quickly demolished.


The next day, after all the site inspections were over and the villa was held until the due date for demolition, Soohyun went to the villa alone without anyone knowing. He felt like something was stabbing his chest, and he couldn’t stay still, thinking that maybe he’ll never see his original form again.


He drove the car thinking it was the last time.


He departed in the evening, but it was not until the dark night that he was able to get close.


As soon as he reached the point where he could see the villa in the distance, he realized that an unfamiliar vehicle had stopped in front of it. It was easy to figure out whose car it was.


With the car parked at a distance, Soohyun got out of the car and walked towards the villa while keeping his footsteps as quiet as possible. The closer he got, the more clearly the exterior of the vehicle and the villa became visible.


In the dark night, a black vehicle was illuminating the villa with headlights from a certain distance. At first glance, he could see someone’s shadow flickering through the lights of the headlights.


Joohyuk was standing between the car headlights and watching the villa. With a long cigarette smoke on his face, deep in thought, he was still in the cold night air. His surroundings were full of discarded cigarette butts, as if proving that he had stood like that for a long time.


Joohyuk, who threw a burnt cigarette close to the filter on the floor, looked down at the paper in his left hand. From the position where Soohyun was, he could only see that it was a paper, but did not know exactly what it was. But for some reason, Joohyuk seemed to be looking at it vaguely.


Soohyun, who was looking at Joohyuk quietly from behind a tree, was looking at the villa just like he did.


Until a year ago, it was a villa he went to every month. Even without going inside, he knew it was the same as it was in the past.


The sofa they sat on together, the TV they watched together, the fireplace where they roasted sweet potatoes together, the table they sat around together… … .


It was as it was without any disturbance. 17 years ago, even now.


Every month he stopped by to write a letter, he looked inside through the window. He always had eyes full of anticipation, saying that if there was any change, there might be a trace of his hyung. Then he quickly turned back in disappointment. When he looked at the inside where only dust was piling up without any disturbance, it seemed that his heart was getting old as well.


When he opened the basement and looked down, he saw letters that had not been touched, lying in the same place as before. Every time he saw it, his heart ached and he felt sad, but as always, he just put a new letter on top.


It wasn’t the first time he’d been resentful.


Why didn’t hyung look for him, why didn’t he recognize him, why is he the only one keeping the covenant?


Now he knew the answer to that question.


Joohyuk said that he had an ‘accident’. Maybe it has something to do with ‘mental illness’. As a result, most of his memories with him have disappeared, but it seems he didn’t get close to any Omega even though he leaked false information that he had a mate.


But that could not justify 16 years of waiting and 1 year of suffering.


Soohyun’s fists were clenched.


The villa had to be destroyed. He want to cover the basement with soil along with the traces left in it. He wanted him to disappear, and everything he had seen in his eyes as he missed him. It seemed that only when there was nothing left like that, he would be able to let go of all regrets.


He stretched out his feet from where he was standing, as if hiding. As he got closer, Joohyuk heard the sound of footsteps and turned his head in shock. Unlike where he was, he had a face full of vigilance because he was in deep darkness, but as soon as he recognized who he was, he hardened.


“… Soohyun-ah.”


As if to smoke another one, he pulled out the cigarette he was holding and dropped it. Joohyuk, who immediately had a bewildered face after freezing, hurriedly put the paper he was holding in his other hand into the inside pocket of his suit jacket.


“Why… … .”


“Why are you here?”


He asked as cold as the night air.


“What do you think you are? Are you pretending to be sorry now that I’m going to get rid of them all?”


“… … .”


Joohyuk kept his mouth shut and couldn’t answer. Soohyun, who stood in front of him, looked fiercely at him, then turned his eyes to the villa. If he looked closely, he could even believe that it was a haunted house.


“It’s a meaningless place to you anyway.”


As he uttered the words, the pain in his chest seemed to be squeezed one after another. It felt like his heart was racing and every muscle in his body was screaming. 


Joohyuk looked at Soohyun and couldn’t say a word. He just closed his eyes and clenched his fists as if holding back something.


To Soohyun, even that felt abominable.


He thought he had just come. Whatever it is, it would have been nice to have pushed it away without ever seeing him again. If he had known that he would meet Joohyuk like this, he would never have come.


Leaving Joohyuk silent, he turned around to go, but he ran and grabbed his arm.


“Soohyun-ah, wait a minute… … .”


The arm that was caught was very hot. When he intentionally struck the hand with disgusted eyes, Joohyuk made a painful face with swaying eyes.


“I told you not to touch me.”


He turned around and said. It was obvious what he was going to say holding onto himself. He will ask him not to destroy the villa or if there was something he could do. In the meantime, he might be able to recite the past as if he was regretful. To change his mind to get rid of the villa.


‘I will never change my mind, Lee Joohyuk.’


He will remove them all. It seemed that the remnants of regrets left in it would disappear as well.


Again, his  heart was pounding and it hurt.


However, contrary to Soohyun’s expectations, Joohyuk didn’t ask for anything or sell his memories.


A sense of weight with warmth was added to Soohyun’s shoulder. Suddenly, the suit jacket Joohyuk was wearing was placed on his shoulder.


Joohyuk just had a bitter face. Soohyun’s arms, with the jacket on his cold shoulders, stopped sloppily and went down. Turning around without saying a word, his back looked pitiful.


Soohyun, who turned and looked at him as he returned to the car, distorted his face, which had been cold. He had to throw away clothes like this that he didn’t need, but for some reason his hand held the jacket firmly so that it didn’t fall off and didn’t move.


It felt like a warm arm wrapped around his shoulder. He was not enough, so it was like hugging him from behind.


‘Don’t be weak.’


He took his eyes off Joohyuk, who was going back from the villa, and walked out on the street at night. He slowly took off as he headed towards his car parked at a distance. The night wind blowing from all directions felt like a knife, but for some reason, his shoulders were so warm. The warmth was so good, he loved it even though he knew he wasn’t supposed to, he couldn’t get it off his shoulder.


As Soohyun got into his car and got into the driver’s seat, he suddenly felt something in the inner pocket of the jacket Joohyuk had put on. Come to think of it, the paper he was looking at before was in the inside pocket of his jacket.


It would have been better to just leave it alone. No, he wished he had left his jacket on the floor like trash in the first place.


But even though Soohyun felt that, without realizing it, he put his hand in his jacket pocket. He wanted to know what he was looking at so desperately.


Soohyun, who took out the paper with the interior light turned on, was startled.


It was a slightly yellowed paper, but Soohyun knew what it was better than anyone. The shape and lettering were familiar with the flat folds without any distortion.


It must have been one of the letters he had stored in the basement of the villa. Judging from the content, it must have been the last letter written.


“Why is this… … .”


As Soohyun remembered, Joohyuk had never been to the villa. During the one-year stay with him, he never mentioned the villa, and even visited once or twice during that time, but there was no trace of his visit. Still, Joohyuk had his letter.


Soohyun thought that Joohyuk’s visit to the villa was because of the process of finding the missing ‘Kwon Yihyun’. Then he came to this mansion, and he must have found the letters he had piled up in the basement. Thinking back to the time they met again as ‘Jung Soohyun’ at a party, perhaps he recalled his memories after reading these letters.




Whatever the cause of finding memories of himself, it didn’t matter. It wasn’t enough to forget his memories, and it was important that he inflicted all sorts of unforgettable wounds during the one year he was close to him. Even if he felt sorry for carrying his letter, the past cannot be undone.


Soohyun’s eyes reached the bottom of the letter. It was a part with traces of moisture and smudging.


<I never forgot hyung… … .>


<I wanted you to call me Hyun like before… … .>


He felt nauseous when he remembered himself at the time he was writing the letter. Even though the traces of water on the letter were obviously not his, it felt like tears were dripping down in the same spot.


<It’s okay though. I will remember, hyung.>


His breath became suffocating and his heart raced like it was going to explode. Even though the tears weren’t falling, his vision was blurry and his focus was shaken.


<Even if hyung can’t remember, I just have to remember. I just need to remember the place we were together, the words we said together, and I will remember our covenant>


His breathing was rapid, and anxiety symptoms came over. His head ached and his body shivered from the terrible chill.


The last sentence was so wet that the writing was blurred, but not so much that it was unrecognizable.


<I love you, my only alpha.>


* * *


After a while, Joohyuk got into the car and drove slowly. As he watched through the rearview mirror as the villa moved away and swallowed in darkness, his heart throbbed with tingling in his chest.


Soohyun’s face flashed before his eyes. The sight of him shoving him off was terrifying.


‘If it’s your decision… … .’


He had no choice. How dare he say no to that. The owner who kept the memories of that place alone for a long time was none other than Soohyun.


‘I’m sorry, Soohyun-ah.’


He said those words hundreds of times a day. It didn’t seem like he was asking for forgiveness, but if he didn’t do it, he wouldn’t be able to survive.


‘I’ll carry all the pain now… I’ll do my best to remember, so don’t get hurt and forget everything.’


Even if he was torn from his stomach, Soohyun wanted to be at peace. Wouldn’t it be possible for Soohyun to feel a little more comfortable if he removed the villa and erased all the memories.


While driving the car with such thoughts in mind, Joohyuk saw another vehicle in his sight. When he wondered why the car was parked in a place like this, Joohyuk took a deep breath.


There was clearly a person in the driver’s seat of the car with the interior lights on. Soohyun was unconscious with a pale face with his eyes closed.


He hurriedly stopped the car and got out of the driver’s seat. Holding his breath, he approached Soohyun’s car and knocked on the driver’s window.






He could hear a knock on the door if not a voice, but there was no response. He clenched his teeth and pulled the doorknob on the driver’s seat. Fortunately, the door was not locked.


After opening the door, Soohyun’s pale complexion became clearer. If he looked closely, he could see that his breathing was rough and he was in cold sweat. He appeared to be in the same condition as when he had collapsed in the meeting room earlier.


“Soohyun-ah,wake up!”


His voice was harsh and urgent, but the hand that shook Soohyun’s shoulder was cautious. Fortunately, the corners of Soohyun’s eyes, which were closed, trembled. He wondered if his eyes were trembling, and his eyelids were raised with difficulty. Gently grabbing his pale cheeks, he turned him around and made him look into his eyes. The dimly open eyes had lost focus.

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