Surviving as the Villainess’s Servant in a Martial Arts Novel Chapter 123

Chapter 123

 

“Shouldn’t we go look for him?”

“…….”

At Woonhak’s words, Liyeon once again looked toward the place where Flower-Glutton had left.

Quite a bit of time had already passed. If he had really gone for a walk, it was more than enough time for him to sober up and return by now.

But Flower-Glutton had not come back. Perhaps it was one of two things. Something had happened that prevented him from returning, or he had once again acted on a whim and simply left.

If he thought about it rationally, the latter was more likely. What reason could there be for him not to return at this hour? And, in truth, they had only known Flower-Glutton for a short while.

They had built up a little trust while fighting together, but that was all. There was no reason for Flower-Glutton to continue staying with them in the first place. 

So there was no need to go looking for him. There was no need to worry about him anymore.

“I’ll…”

“Yes?”

But Liyeon answered differently.

“I’ll go look for him.”

Woonhak looked flustered at his words. Naturally. Even Liyeon, who had uttered those words himself, was utterly bewildered.

Besides, he wasn’t even particularly close to Flower-Glutton like Zhuge Ye or Woonhak were, so there was even less reason for him to go personally. Even though he knew it was strange…

He had no intention of taking his words back. In the end, Liyeon left as though to avoid giving an answer.

He heard Woonhak calling after him from behind, but he didn’t look back. He merely made another excuse to himself.

‘It’s because he resembles him. Because he resembles that child…’

There were certain things about Flower-Glutton that were strangely similar to Seodan.

First, Flower-Glutton was sociable. He behaved as though he had always been part of their group. No matter how much they ignored him, he would casually strike up conversations and play around with them.

Before they knew it, even the other members of the group had come to regard him as a companion and treated him without reservation. The fact that Woonhak was worried about him even now said enough.

Second, he liked playing around. His jokes crossed the line so often that one might think, ‘Does he really have to go this far?’ He would make jokes that put others in difficult situations at the drop of a hat, and he couldn’t even abandon his playful nature on the battlefield.

Paeng Mirang had gotten angry, saying he was exhausting to deal with, but Liyeon didn’t dislike that noisiness. Even when it seemed as though Flower-Glutton was simply causing a commotion, he was definitely distracting the enemy, and sometimes that was helpful. The more flustered an enemy became, the more openings they revealed.

And above all… He laughed so happily when he played around.

Just like Seodan had when he used to tease Liyeon.

He was also strangely perceptive, knew how to respect boundaries, never refused when someone asked him for help, was good at improvising, and…

Liyeon came to an abrupt stop.

‘No.’

Flower-Glutton could not be Seodan.

Flower-Glutton was simply too strong to be Seodan.

Even though ten years had already passed since he had parted ways with Seodan, it was nearly impossible for his internal energy to have become that profound in the meantime.

His personality was also different in many ways.

Seodan had been affectionate and therefore had many openings, whereas Flower-Glutton had none. He acted loose and carefree while simultaneously putting up walls, and when an enemy crossed the line, he crushed them without mercy.

Whenever Liyeon saw how Flower-Glutton showed no mercy when dealing with his enemies, and saw the cruel glint that flashed in his eyes, Liyeon’s heart would turn cold.

‘That man isn’t Seodan.’

He was clearly an entirely different person.

Liyeon came to his senses and looked around. For some reason, he felt strangely empty.

‘What am I doing here? Why did I come all the way here?’

Even though he had ventured quite deep, he still couldn’t sense anyone else around him.

At this point, Flower-Glutton must have already left.

He should return now…

“…..Huh…”

“……!”

Suddenly, Liyeon raised his head.

He had definitely heard it… A sound.

Without realizing it, Liyeon began walking toward where the sound had come from.

He had only just thought that he should return, yet his feet wouldn’t stop. Even though he wasn’t certain it was Flower-Glutton, the thought that he had to confirm it filled his mind.

Liyeon continued deeper and deeper inside. And in the middle of the forest, bathed in moonlight, he found the person he had been waiting for.

“…Funny, right? That monk looked like the most ordinary one, but I’m telling you, he’s actually the funniest guy here. Even during the drinking game earlier, he came up with all sorts of ridiculous conditions…”

It was Flower-Glutton.

Flower-Glutton was sitting on a rock with a liquor jar in his hand. He was constantly talking to someone in front of him. Every now and then, he laughed aloud, seemingly genuinely enjoying himself.

Perplexed, Liyeon looked at the spot in front of Flower-Glutton. But there was no one there.

Flower-Glutton was talking to empty air.

Liyeon’s heart began to beat uneasily.

Rustle.

At that moment, Liyeon inadvertently stepped on some leaves.

Sensing someone’s presence, Flower-Glutton turned his head.

Liyeon looked at Flower-Glutton and… held his breath.

The man who had definitely been smiling…

‘….Is he crying?’

“Huh?”

Suddenly, Flower-Glutton called out to him.

“Young Master Li?”

For an instant, it seemed as though light returned to Flower-Glutton’s eyes.

Had he sobered up? Was he going to ask why Liyeon was here? How should Liyeon answer?

Just as Liyeon tensed up,

“Have I really lost my mind? Why can I see Young Master Li here? I’m seeing all sorts of strange things.”

Liyeon felt his strength drain away with a thud.

Flower-Glutton was treating him as a hallucination.

“Young Master Li, Young Master Li! Is that really you? How strange. This has never happened before… Well, what’s the difference? Young Master Li is pretty, so it’s nice to look at you anyway.”

“…….”

“Come on, don’t just stand over there. Sit here! Young Master Li is tall, so my neck hurts if I have to look up at you.”

Liyeon hesitated for a moment before approaching Flower-Glutton.

Then he quietly sat down beside him, in the spot Flower-Glutton was patting with his hand.

The strong smell of alcohol wafted over from nearby.

“But why did you appear here? Did you perhaps get worried because I wasn’t coming back?”

“…….”

“Haha, I’m joking, I’m joking. Don’t look so disgusted. I was planning to drink just a little and go back, too. The moonlight is nice, and the liquor tastes good. Hmm? Sigh, actually, I shouldn’t be drinking like this.”

“…….”

“I promised Hyeon that I wouldn’t drink anymore. But I keep finding myself drinking without realizing it. I can’t stand it because I feel so stifled inside.”

“Stifled?”

Liyeon asked without realizing it.

Perhaps because he had answered, Flower-Glutton’s eyes sparkled. He pressed both hands against his chest and pretended to stagger.

“Yeah. Here, it’s just… so stifling. It’s hard to breathe, as though someone is pressing down on me. Sometimes it feels like everything inside me is boiling over. Huh? It feels like someone scooped out my heart and threw it into a furnace. Sometimes it hurts so much that I just want to die…”

“…….”

“…But the truth is, I don’t want to die.”

Flower-Glutton smiled faintly.

“Then again, who actually wants to die? Even the people I’ve seen who said they wanted to die ended up wanting to live when they were actually faced with the possibility of death.”

“…….”

“I’m the same. Originally, I wasn’t afraid of death. Back then, I’d lost everything. I thought it didn’t matter whether I died or not… But when death actually came close, my mind changed.”

“…….”

A trembling voice escaped his lips.

“Every day becomes more frightening. I’m afraid that one day I’ll close my eyes and won’t be able to open them again. I’m afraid that I’ll struggle in pain like this and suddenly die one day. I’m afraid that I’ll disappear without leaving anything behind…”

“…….”

“I’m really, really scared, but… I can’t show it. I have a lot riding on me, you see.”

“……A lot?”

“Yeah, a lot. An incredible amount. I’ve gained people who are precious to me. I have to protect them, too. And more than anything, the people who sacrificed themselves in my place…”

“…….”

“When I think about them, I can’t die anymore. I have to cling on desperately. Because I have to live for their sake, too. Because I have to fulfill their final wishes. But…”

Flower-Glutton suddenly looked up at the sky.

His profile, illuminated by the moonlight, wore nothing but a smile, making it impossible to tell what he was thinking. At the same time, he looked a little tired.

“It’s getting a little difficult now.”

“…….”

“They must have felt the same way. They must have been afraid of dying. The thought that their breath would soon stop… It must have been truly terrifying… How did they do it? How were they able to step forward in my place…?”

“…….”

“…..I can’t do it anymore.”

Liyeon almost answered without realizing it. But he didn’t know what he should say, nor did he know why he was even here.

“I’m pathetic, aren’t I?”

There was only one thing he could say.

“No.”

“I’m not pathetic?”

“You’re not pathetic.”

“Haha.”

Flower-Glutton laughed brightly.

“Thank you for saying that.”

After that, Flower-Glutton continued speaking in a soft voice.

Most of it was either muttering to himself about things only he knew, or trivial thoughts about the members of the Inspection Team. But listening to him made Liyeon fall into a strange feeling.

Before he knew it, he was back at Sonangwon.

Seodan was chattering endlessly in front of him, while Liyeon pretended not to listen, quietly taking in every word.

A faint smile appeared at the corner of his lips.

Yes, it had been like that back then, too.

He had been that happy.

Days he could never return to now… Flower-Glutton murmured.

“I miss them.”

‘Me too.’

“I miss them.”

‘I do, too.’

“I’m sleepy…”

Flower-Glutton’s head drooped. He swayed for a moment.

Then, ‘thump’, he rested his head against Liyeon’s shoulder.

Liyeon said nothing.

Flower-Glutton mumbled softly.

“It’s strange. Why am I so sleepy? I’ve never been like this before. I can’t sleep… Surely this isn’t the end, right? Young Master Li, wake me up. I can’t sleep. If I sleep… if I die… bury me there, okay? There, in my hometown…”

Soon, Flower-Glutton’s voice gradually faded.

The weight against Liyeon’s shoulder grew heavier.

Liyeon quietly raised his hand and held it beneath Flower-Glutton’s nose.

He felt a faint breath.

Liyeon lowered his hand and looked up at the sky.

A tired man was asleep, while the one who hid his heart was simply lending him his shoulder.

Only the quiet moonlight calmly illuminated them.

It was moonlight that looked sad.