Chapter 49
The Xiao Estate was thrown into an uproar.
The bride-to-be had vanished without a trace on the day before her wedding.
The former head of the household was absolutely furious.
He cursed her in every way imaginable, shouting that she was an ungrateful wretch who did not appreciate everything they had done to raise her, that she should never have been born in the first place, and demanding that they find Xiao Yeong-yeong and bring her back immediately.
Xiao Cheong-ja could only stare blankly.
‘Why? Why would she…?’
The Xiao Yeong-yeong that Xiao Cheong-ja knew was a delicate girl.
When it was hot, she would complain that it was hot, and when it was cold, she would complain that it was cold. She especially hated getting hurt, so it was commonplace for her to run to Xiao Cheong-ja and whine whenever she suffered even the slightest injury.
That was why Xiao Cheong-ja thought she would not be able to last long outside. He thought she would come back soon.
Every one of those thoughts was wrong.
A day passed, then two days, then a month, then half a year.
Xiao Yeong-yeong did not return.
They could not even hear a single word about her. No matter how many people they sent out to search, they could not find even the hem of Xiao Yeong-yeong’s clothes. She had disappeared as though she had never existed in this world at all.
Only then did Xiao Cheong-ja regret it.
‘I should have understood that child’s feelings. If only I had done something, if only I hadn’t turned away from her…’
But it was already too late, and the only thing Xiao Cheong-ja could do was send out even more people to search for Xiao Yeong-yeong.
But even that soon became difficult.
Misfortune came crashing down upon the household one after another.
The first tragedy was the death of the former head and his wife. They had been invited to a banquet held by a friendly family in Sichuan, but a landslide occurred on their way there, and they lost their lives.
For two people who had disliked each other so much to die together on the same day at the same time, it struck Xiao Cheong-ja as a strange thing, and he was overcome with grief.
The second calamity befell Xiao Cheong-ja himself.
He lost his wife and child at once.
At the time, Xiao Cheong-ja had a wife, who had also entered into a political marriage with a young lady chosen for him by the former head of the household.
Since theirs had not been a marriage born of love, the two had remained somewhat distant. Still, they respected one another enough to maintain proper decorum, so their relationship was not bad, and eventually his wife became pregnant.
Xiao Cheong-ja was happy for the first time in a long while. But that happiness did not last long.
“We can only save one person.”
Xiao Cheong-ja’s wife had fallen ill.
If they used strong medicine to treat his wife’s illness, the child’s life would be in danger. But if they immediately delivered the child, Xiao Cheong-ja’s wife could die. Xiao Cheong-ja was faced with a choice.
Should he save the child, or should he save his wife?
As it happened, the one who made the choice was not him.
“Please save the child.”
His wife had pleaded with him earnestly.
His barely conscious wife must have heard the physician explain the situation, because she spoke to Xiao Cheong-ja first. Xiao Cheong-ja, who had yet to make any decision, did not know what to do.
“But, my wife…”
“I know my own body well. I won’t be able to endure much longer. If that’s the case, then please… save the child. Please save our child.”
“…….”
“If even the child dies like this, then even if I survive, I won’t truly be living. Please, so that I can close my eyes peacefully even in the afterlife, please…”
It was the first time Xiao Cheong-ja had ever seen his wife plead so desperately.
His wife was naturally gentle in temperament, and had always prioritized Xiao Cheong-ja’s wishes and followed him without complaint. Yet that same wife was now looking straight at him with unwavering eyes.
So there was only one thing Xiao Cheong-ja could say.
“…I’m sorry.”
But that choice did not turn out well either.
The child they had barely managed to deliver died not long afterward.
Xiao Cheong-ja held his wife’s and child’s cold bodies in his arms and wept for a long time. Only after he had buried his wife and child could Xiao Cheong-ja bring himself to look back upon his life.
‘I was wrong.’
He did not know where it had all gone wrong.
Should he have saved his wife? Should he have stopped his parents from going to that banquet? Or perhaps even before that…
‘Yeong.’
Should he have protected Xiao Yeong-yeong?
The beginning of every mistake went back to the night before Xiao Yeong-yeong left. The moment when he had turned away from his younger sister when he had thought everything was going well. The moment when he had turned away from his own cowardice.
But even if he went back to the past, could he have made a different choice?
Xiao Cheong-ja shook his head as tears streamed down his face.
‘Yeong, your brother is such a pathetic person.’
Perhaps it was only natural that no one remained by his side anymore.
Xiao Cheong-ja spent every night drinking.
And as he wandered through a deep mire, endlessly ruminating over the regrets that came crashing down upon him, one day…
“Master!”
Chief Steward Jeok entered, bringing someone with him. Behind him was a familiar yet unfamiliar face.
Xiao Cheong-ja’s hands trembled.
It was Xiao Yeong-yeong.
Xiao Yeong-yeong had returned after three years.
***
Xiao Yeong-yeong looked unfamiliar when they met again after three years.
The baby fat had completely disappeared from her face, leaving it sharper. Her face had matured considerably from the hardships she had endured outside, and it even carried a gloomy air.
Xiao Cheong-ja stared at Xiao Yeong-yeong as though she were a stranger.
Then, before long, he began to cry.
His younger sister had changed so much that she felt unfamiliar, and Xiao Cheong-ja could not help but feel that everything she had become was his fault. He apologized over and over.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry…”
Xiao Yeong-yeong merely stared quietly at him.
Xiao Cheong-ja sat Xiao Yeong-yeong down and asked her this and that. But Xiao Yeong-yeong did not properly answer any of his questions. Instead, she lowered her eyes as though she had something troubling her, then finally opened her mouth.
“Brother, I…”
The words she uttered were like a bolt from the blue.
“I’m pregnant.”
Xiao Cheong-ja stared blankly, his mouth agape.
In an instant, all sorts of thoughts became tangled in his head. Pregnant? What had happened to her outside? When had she gotten married? Then where was her husband? Why had she come back alone?
Xiao Cheong-ja’s face flushed as he tried to say something. But he soon fell silent.
Xiao Yeong-yeong was crying.
Just like that day before Xiao Yeong-yeong had left. With her head bowed, Xiao Yeong-yeong quietly wept, looking more tormented than anyone else, and Xiao Cheong-ja could say nothing more.
He managed only these words.
“…Leave it to me.”
Xiao Cheong-ja built a small house at the very edge of the estate.
He had Xiao Yeong-yeong stay there and specifically ordered the household servants around her to keep their mouths shut. He told everyone that his younger sister had fallen ill.
At first, the relationship between the siblings was awkward. But as time passed, things gradually improved. Xiao Yeong-yeong was grateful to the brother who had accepted her, while Xiao Cheong-ja tried his best to treat her well because he felt as guilty toward her as he had.
Soon, the siblings became close again, and they were even able to laugh together and reminisce about old times.
It seemed as though Xiao Cheong-ja had found happiness again.
‘I wish we could keep living like this.’
Perhaps he had been asking for too much. For once again, despair came to Xiao Cheong-ja.
“Brother, the child…”
He heard those nightmare-like words once more.
“Please save the child.”
Unlike before, Xiao Yeong-yeong’s body had become very weak.
She used to run around the estate or go out to play here and there without a care, but now she would quickly become short of breath even after taking a brief walk.
And as her delivery drew closer, her condition grew even worse.
No matter how renowned a physician they summoned, they could not determine the cause. All they could say was that if things continued this way, the mother’s life would be in danger, and they could not guarantee that she would be able to safely give birth to the child.
Xiao Cheong-ja was horrified when he heard that. From that day onward, he began trying to persuade Xiao Yeong-yeong to give up the child.
But Xiao Yeong-yeong refused until the very end.
“…I’m sorry, Brother.”
Even as her delivery approached, even after she became unable to get out of bed, Xiao Yeong-yeong’s mind did not change.
In the end, Xiao Cheong-ja broke down.
“This, this can’t happen. I can’t lose you like this. After everything it took for us to meet again, after we’ve only just managed to live together again, how can I…”
“Brother…”
Xiao Yeong-yeong quietly looked at Xiao Cheong-ja as he cried. Then she struggled to raise herself and took his hand.
“Brother, there’s something I want to tell you.”
“Yes, tell me. Anything, anything at all…”
“I… actually, I hated you, Brother.”
Xiao Cheong-ja flinched.
Xiao Yeong-yeong continued speaking softly, pretending not to notice.
“You pretended not to know me back then, didn’t you? Actually, that shocked me even more than Father forcing me into the marriage. Because you were my true parent, Brother. It felt as though my own parents had abandoned me…”
“…I’m sorry. I’m truly, truly sorry…”
“I didn’t say that because I wanted an apology. It’s just…”
“…….”
“I really hated you back then, but as time passed, I think I came to understand. You were scared too, weren’t you? Just like me, you were afraid of disappointing our parents…”
Xiao Yeong-yeong continued with a faint smile.
“So please don’t feel sorry anymore. I don’t resent you anymore.”
“Yeong…”
“Now, I’m only grateful. You raised me like your own child when our parents turned away from me; you loved me, and you helped me whenever I was in trouble. You must have had such a hard time…”
“No. What do you mean, hard? Lean on me as much as you want, all right? Your brother will do anything for you.”
“Really? Then, Brother…”
Xiao Yeong-yeong’s voice became earnest.
“Please… take good care of my child.”
“…….”
“Just as you did for me, do for my child everything you would have done for me.”
“…….”
“Show that child the wide world. Show them how dazzling the world is, how many things there are in this world to love… Tell them in my place, so they can see and feel it for themselves.”
“…….”
“So if my child can be happy…”
Xiao Cheong-ja suddenly looked at Xiao Yeong-yeong.
Her eyes were filled with a warm light.
“I’ll be truly happy too.”
Xiao Cheong-ja could not bring himself to speak.
The girl who had once possessed such an innocent gaze had changed somewhere along the way. Her eyes had deepened from having already come to love someone so dearly.
Xiao Cheong-ja knew those eyes.
Eyes that he and his wife had once possessed.
The eyes of a parent.
How could he possibly refuse when faced with those eyes?
“…Yes.”
“…….”
“I will. I promise, I will.”
Xiao Yeong-yeong smiled happily.
That was the last image of Xiao Yeong-yeong that Xiao Cheong-ja ever saw.
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