Author: nicotine

Gray snowflakes fluttered down from the gray sky. When he carefully brushed with his finger the one that had settled gently on the bridge of his nose, it turned to water and fell away with a soft plop.

Gawon hunched his body, rubbing his arms with his hands to fend off even a little of the cruel chill that bit into him. The cold wind pierced through the gaps in his sneakers, their toes worn through and holed. To hide the hole that seemed to have grown a little larger than yesterday, he slyly tucked his toes behind his other ankle.

“Ugh, fucking freezing. What’s with snow in March instead of flowers blooming?”

“Flowers bloom in April, you dumbass.”

“Ah, so what.”

Boys will be boys—the sharp spring chill cutting through their gym uniforms couldn’t suppress the heat of the rowdy, giggling male bastards.

The gym teacher, who shouted “Quiet!” at the noisy bunch, turned his head toward a tall figure running from a distance. Naturally, the students’ gazes also fixed on that direction.

Had there been a kid like that in school? Gawon’s gaze lingered on him.

Ah. He remembered, a beat late, the homeroom teacher’s mention that a transfer student would be coming. And that he’d arrive in time for the second-period gym class due to circumstances.

The figure striding toward them was unhesitating. Even as a transfer student who was late on his first day, drawing the attention of so many eyes, there was no sign of embarrassment.

He was strikingly tall even among the boys of this all-male school. His frame was thick, like an athlete who had undergone harsh training. Yet he wasn’t clumsy at all—he looked agile. The way he loped along leisurely was just like a jaguar.

“Hey, you’re late on your first class?”

“Sorry!”

His terse voice was low and resonant. A faint smile on his face carried composure and confidence.

Long, handsome eyes without double eyelids, a mischievous expression, dimples that dug in when he grinned, and a low yet playful voice.

Even the kids who had been messing around restlessly paused naturally. The sharp looks scanning the transfer student and the murmuring voices among themselves were transparent—curiosity, admiration, and a touch of envy toward a classmate with an overwhelming sense of superiority.

The guy, who came trotting in with a face that didn’t look sorry at all, only sped up slightly after being scolded with “Hey, can’t you hurry up?”

“Kid, you’ve got a flashy handsome face.”

“Thanks.”

When the guy bowed his head playfully in reply, laughter burst out from all around. The gym teacher lightly tapped the arm of the tall kid standing in front with the stick he had on his shoulder, and the big body crumpled, making a pained face.

The laughter grew louder at his exaggerated wincing, like a large dog that had caused trouble. It wasn’t mockery or ridicule—it was laughter mixed with goodwill. Even the gym teacher ended up chuckling. He had so naturally won over the class’s atmosphere.

“Hey, what’s your name?”

“It’s Ki Joon!”

“Huh?”

The gym teacher, looking puzzled, checked the name tag on the kid’s gym uniform himself. Then he snorted with a laugh and called out, gesturing with his chin.

“Right, that’s it. Hey, you, Ki Joon.”

“Ki Joon!”

The kid called out cheerfully. With that booming voice that instantly captivated all the males, the scattered classmates focused on him in an instant. They aligned themselves, spreading the name Ki Joon in unison.

You, standing there asserting the clearest presence beneath the swirling snowflakes.

The moment you called out like that, I didn’t realize yet.

That soon, you would become the Ki Joon of my world.

“…Ha…”

Gawon closed his eyes deeply for a moment, then opened them.

He had expected this. When he learned he’d be in the same class as the bastard who had persistently and viciously tormented him throughout his first year, Gawon had given up on a peaceful school life early on. But even so, he hadn’t expected it to start this immediately.

There was no time to despair for long. Fifth period would soon begin. Gawon calmly cleaned out his locker. He fetched a rag and wiped up the spilled, rotten milk that stank horribly, and threw out the cigarette butts and trash that were plainly inside.

Looking down at the soaked textbooks, he had to grit his teeth and suppress his indignation. They were barely new. His eyes burned, but he held it in, thinking he’d rather die than show those bastards his tears.

Just then, the classroom doorway became noisy.

“With what that bastard did earlier… wasn’t it fucking hilarious?”

“Huh? Hey, hey, we finally saw him.”

“Pfft. Been busting his ass cleaning, huh?”

Even without turning around, he knew who had entered the classroom. The instigators who had stuffed all that filth into his locker—the gang led by Heo Yeonggyu, who had tormented him relentlessly since first year.

With a bear-like build and family backing, Heo Yeonggyu acted as if nothing in the world scared him. He was the type who staked his life on status battles in the classroom and cruelly bullied kids deemed weak. Even though he loudly ran his mouth, his family was so well-off that even the serious delinquents didn’t mess with Heo Yeonggyu lightly.

Heo Yeonggyu’s crew lounged haphazardly over the sparsely empty desks at the back of the classroom. Right next to Gawon’s locker.

Thump, thump—Heo Yeonggyu’s feet, crossed insolently, kept annoyingly nudging Gawon’s back and hip. Gawon ignored it, slightly shrinking his body to dodge the kicks. The long-standing bullying had become nauseating, even tiresome.

“Hey, since you’re cleaning, get rid of this too.”

Heo Yeonggyu snickered and threw the beverage can he was holding at Gawon. It must have been the one he’d been drinking—ionic drink spilled out, staining his school uniform messily. The attention of the classmates, previously filled with curiosity, now turned toward Gawon’s face with an intrigued gleam.

“…”

Gawon, who had been cleaning his locker with his mouth tightly shut, clenched his fist. His chest surged with anger. But only for a moment—he swallowed his rage with practiced ease. Fighting back every time would only make things more exhausting for himself.

From middle school until now, as a second-year in high school, Gawon had tried every response he could. He’d told the teachers, and even reported it to the police.

But the results were always the same. The situation only worsened, as if mocking Gawon, who had neither resources nor a solid family backing him.

Even when he demanded a school violence committee meeting, it was ignored; even when he filed a complaint directly with the education office, it was brushed aside like water mixed with alcohol. After learning that Heo Yeonggyu’s father was a district councilman, Gawon gave up completely.

If he couldn’t avoid the relentless bullying that poured down like rain, it was easier to accept it. After running around holding onto futile hopes, the only option left for Gawon was one.

Graduation—to keep moving toward the exit that seemed as far as eons away. Blocking his eyes and ears like someone who could see and hear nothing, just enduring that way.

‘Why don’t you drop out? I couldn’t live like that.’

‘Seriously. It’s not like you need a degree for what your mom does, right?’

Even though there was the GED option, and despite the voices cackling and mocking him, the one reason he risked his life to stay in school was simple.

Gawon knew the fear of the underworld because of his mother, who was involved in that scene. And his mother had long wanted him to quit his studies and start earning money. She’d even bluntly suggested he carry fruit trays at the establishment where she worked, all for the sole reason of making more money.

That was precisely why he clung to school. Gawon knew all too well—school was the last fence that kept him tethered to the world of light. And that the moment he stopped struggling, he’d sink straight into the dark, murky swamp.

Seeing Gawon cleaning his locker expressionlessly with no reaction, Heo Yeonggyu’s crew rose one by one from their seats.

“Hey, are you ignoring me? I’m talking to you, are you ignoring me?”

Heo Yeonggyu kicked out hard. A dull pain flared in his shin. Gawon bit his lip to stifle a groan. This time, Heo Yeonggyu maliciously pressed his fingertip against Gawon’s temple, pressing, pressing.

“Huh? Are you ignoring me? Huh? You should answer.”

“…Take your hand off.”

“Whoa, fuck. Did you hear him talk?”

Heo Yeonggyu turned his head toward the kids beside him and cackled. With the new school year and new term, his voice—now with a freshly formed crew—carried more bravado than usual.

“Look at that attitude. So fucking scary, huh?”

“Move.”

Gawon glanced at the clock at the back of the classroom. Ten minutes left until fifth period. Once the teacher came, this shitty moment would at least be temporarily avoided.

First, he had to clean up the trash and wipe his uniform. He tried to push past Heo Yeonggyu and the morons beside him, but there was no way they’d make way easily.

“Hey, Sunny.”

At that moment, Gawon’s face—which had shown no reaction to any insult—hardened in an instant.

“We’re in the same class, so we should all get along, right? Huh?”

At Heo Yeonggyu’s snickering remark, the guy next to him looked puzzled.

“Sunny? What’s that?”

“Hey, you still don’t know? His mom runs a bro—”

Heo Yeonggyu’s words were mercilessly cut off there. Gawon’s small, clenched fist sliced through the air in an instant.

He knew the rumor would spread anyway. Maybe everyone already knew. Heo Yeonggyu’s crew had been spreading it nonstop since first year.

Still, his impulse overcame his reason. Nothing would change just because it was a new school year, but still—he didn’t want to hear Heo Yeonggyu loudly blabbering about his mother in front of everyone right at the start of the semester.

Heo Yeonggyu, properly hit, held his jaw and stared blankly at Gawon. Since Gawon had rarely resisted to this extent, he was more dumbfounded than pained.

But the impact a small, pale fist could deliver wasn’t great. Gawon had no skill or experience in crushing someone to begin with.

Snorting, Heo Yeonggyu straightened his crooked head in disbelief. Ha, he laughed nastily, cracking his knuckles in a threatening gesture.

“This fucking bastard… you threw the first punch, didn’t you?”

Heo Yeonggyu stepped forward, grabbed Gawon by the collar, and yanked him up. There was no time to step back or defend. Gawon stared straight ahead, gritting his teeth.

“Let go.”

“A worthless piece-of-shit bug, fuck…”

SMACK!—with the sound, a flash of white light burst before his eyes. Hit in the face, Gawon squeezed his eyes shut and curled his body. Violence of this level was so sickeningly familiar it didn’t scare him. He just wished for this moment to pass quickly.

Excited, Heo Yeonggyu spewed curses. Calling Sunny “Sunny”—what else would he call him?—he again grabbed Gawon’s collar roughly.

Shaking helplessly under the strong grip, Gawon cast a gaze full of loathing at the kids in the classroom. Their eyes, sitting with interest and watching the commotion, glistened with curiosity and amusement.

A thin, cynical sneer escaped him. These bastards who hit and insulted him with filthy words, and those bastards who just sat there enjoying the show—they were all the same garbage.

“Fuck, what’re you staring into space for. So annoying. You not looking at me? Open your eyes straight?”

Heo Yeonggyu glared, spittle flying from his mouth. His large palm was raised into the air once again.

“Hey. Too loud.”

A low voice from the front of the classroom quelled the commotion in an instant.

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nicotine

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