Runway Chapter 10

In the early hours while I was sleeping, the phone rang. The vibration that began from a machine the size of a hand dug into my ears and pounded on my head.

I, who had been in a deep sleep without even dreaming, lifted my eyelids without a single moment of annoyance at the knocking sound.

Bright light in a space of only darkness. I gazed blankly at Lee Wookchan’s name contained in the rectangular screen. And at the same time, the call ended.

Jiiing, jing, jiiiiing.

The vibration began to ring again.

Suddenly a thought occurred to me. If this vibration doesn’t stop now, it’ll ring forever in my heart.

So I answered the phone. Humans are always beings who regret. It was better to regret after doing it.

“Why.”

I opened the entrance of the conversation with a low, cracked voice.

Right. We fought earlier. Did we fight. There were so many times I parted with Lee Wookchan in that kind of way that I honestly don’t even know if we fought or not.

Even if we did fight, Lee Wookchan would get over it within a few minutes and call me Bae Seonho, this cute little bastard.

Lee Wookchan is always doing whatever he wants. He was openly a person of moods.

That’s why the hyungs and noonas liked him. Because he was erratic, and savage and violent.

And as if to back up his actions, he was good at everything physical.

He was big and could take a hit. He was good at swinging his fists so he was skilled at fighting too, and from what I heard from the hyungs and noonas, he was good at night too. I didn’t want to know that far.

In our era where the Fourth Industrial Revolution has not just arrived but become rampant, living trusting only in your body is truly astonishing.

But our neighborhood, most of the people around Lee Wookchan, were like that. It couldn’t be helped.

[Where are you?]

Lee Wookchan asked. I took the phone from my ear and checked the time. It was past 2 AM.

“Home.”

[I thought you were still with that bastard.]

There was still an edge in his voice. His breathing was fairly rough too.

“Don’t keep saying that when you don’t even know who it is.”

I answered stiffly too. Lee Wookchan laughed as if exhaling a sigh. Then he changed the subject pretending not to know.

[Want to come out?]

“No.”

He probably drank. Lee Wookchan was sometimes like that. Not every time, but occasionally.

I can’t know whether he drank alone or with someone. Anyway, the fact is that he got shit-faced drunk alone and called me out.

There were times I went out a few times. But there wasn’t anything special we did.

Lee Wookchan would sit me on a bench and puff on cigarettes, or else he’d buy me beer.

I drank the beer, and Lee Wookchan would smoke beside me or go ‘Hey, Bae—’ and call me.

It was that useless a time. But it wasn’t just because of that. I had to go to school tomorrow.

“It’s Monday tomorrow, you idiot.”

[Ah, school. School. Bae Seonho goes to school.]

Lee Wookchan repeated the same words several times. We definitely weren’t facing each other, yet it felt like we were looking at each other.

Lee Wookchan was probably sitting on the bench in front of our house. He’d have his shoulders hunched round and be focused only on the phone. His drinking habits were nasty.

[Hey, Bae.]

“Yeah.”

Did I answer the phone for no reason. I was anxious that he might keep telling me to come out without any intention of hanging up.

Then I’d have to go out. If he got even slightly upset, he’d clearly press our doorbell.

Then Mom, who came in at 11 and sipped soju until 12, would wake up. Then with a tired voice and face she’d say, Wookchan’s here? Go sleep in Seonho’s room, and forcibly tie us together as one.

I hate that. We’re not family, but Mom sometimes seemed to think of Lee Wookchan as family.

“…”

I licked my lips with my tongue. Lee Wookchan let out a deep breath.

The breath thick with intoxication reached even me. I bit my lip.

[What did you do today.]

“Just.”

[Just what.]

“Ate, bought drinks, went to the library.”

[A schoolteacher bastard. Library, my ass.]

“…”

Lee Wookchan laughed low. Puhuh, the bursting laughter somehow sounded self-mocking.

A trace of conscience or guilt probably exists in him too. About drinking alone at a late hour and calling me, who has to go to school tomorrow.

[Is it a girl?]

“No, a guy.”

[You probably didn’t do it.]

“Hey, I’m hanging up.”

I took the phone from my ear as if I’d hang up right away. Lee Wookchan called me again.

The voice that had been growing distant came close again.

[Hey, Bae Seonho.]

For calling me so half-heartedly, his voice was heavy.

Lee Wookchan’s voice went well with his appearance. No highs or lows, and you could feel the atmosphere in it. Manly yet heavy, sometimes playful, and even amid that, anxiety was pooled.

The voice he lets flow is exactly like the current season. Lonely and solitary late autumn.

[Was it more fun than hanging out with me?]

“…”

[You abandoned me, after all.]

Jokes like this aren’t funny. Abandoned, my ass. You’re the one who’s always with me and then when you feel like it, you bolt off somewhere.

I pulled up the blanket that had come down to my stomach. I turned my body to the side and looked at the wall.

I blinked wordlessly. Only the wallpaper, originally white but now yellowed before I knew it, entered my view.

As the fog-like drowsiness pooling in me disappeared, Lee Wookchan’s breathing became more vivid. I had to change the subject.

“When are you going home.”

[I don’t know where I should go.]

A slurred pronunciation came through. He was smoking.

Sure enough, chiik— the sound of fire rising was heard. He took a drag, huu, and let out the breath long.

[Should I go home?]

“Go.”

[What will you do for me if I go.]

Sometimes the center point goes off. Like now.

Lee Wookchan drank, and going to his own house is right. It’s not like he’s going to lie on his stomach and sleep on the bench in front of our house. So what is he hoping for.

I held back my answer. Lee Wookchan inhaled and exhaled smoke several more times.

[I’m asking what you’ll do for me, you bastard.]

But the bigger problem is….

“What do you want me to do for you.”

That I’m soft on Lee Wookchan. I’m weak to Lee Wookchan.

No matter how much he’s a person inside my fence, even so I was endlessly weak to Lee Wookchan.

Maybe it’s pity or some sense of superiority. At least my situation is better than Lee Wookchan’s.

Lee Wookchan also knew that and often made unreasonable requests of me.

[Don’t abandon me.]

Like now.

I froze with the phone in my hand. I even forgot to breathe and stopped still.

My eyes slowly grew wide.

[Don’t abandon me just because you made a friend.]

“…”

[Because if you do, I’ll go meet that bastard and fuck up his face.]

A threatening addendum was attached. Only then did I soothe my stopped breath.

[Hey, I’m hanging up.]

Having spat the words, Lee Wookchan hung up however he wanted, just like when he first called.

I looked at the phone with the call ended. The blinking numbers—the call had lasted about two minutes.

The bright screen suddenly clicked off. I rolled my eyes.

Even in the darkness my eyes had adjusted. I lay back looking at the ceiling again.

I lowered my eyelids. I muttered low to myself.

“Who’s abandoning who….”

I probably won’t fall asleep easily.

∞ ∞ ∞

Maybe because I tossed and turned. My eyes opened earlier than usual. Thanks to that, I went to school early too.

In the classroom there were three people including me. One was studying, another was on their phone, and I was just still.

I recalled the phone call with Lee Wookchan yesterday.

He probably did it because he was drunk. He’s originally a guy who can’t stand seeing me hang out with other people, so he probably got sulky for no reason.

Even trying to soothe myself, the dawn phone call kept circling in my ears.

—Don’t abandon me.

If Lee Wookchan abandons me, then he abandons me—I had never once abandoned Lee Wookchan. I’d never even thought about abandoning him.

Just… I thought we’d always live like this. Lee Wookchan in his own way, and me beside him, sometimes playing the role of trash can.

While I was submerged in thoughts about Lee Wookchan, the classroom door opened. Drrr. It was an unremarkable, ordinary sound.

I didn’t even think to turn my head. Anyway, it was clearly going to be at most some guy I’d never properly spoken to once.

“Ah, Seonho came early.”