Author: Nikss

 

For a moment, my mind seemed to go blank.

 

‘I’m screwed.’

 

At that moment, I couldn’t think of Duke Goldman or anything else. There was only one thought occupying my mind. 

 

There was only one thought that occupied my mind, and that was, ‘I am so screwed.’

 

That’s because suddenly the words that Sir River had confessed earlier flashed through my mind.

 

— ‘I said I would tell you in person…’

 

— ‘He must have misunderstood something when he heard of my engagement to the Princess…’

 

And the last words he uttered.

 

— ‘In a fit of rage, I told him to leave the situation to the Princess.’

 

And I haven’t explained the situation to him yet?

 

“No!”

 

I gasped, reaching for Lord River’s head as he lifted the empty cup of water from the top of his head.

 

My urgent voice stopped him in his tracks, and he glanced at me.

 

“Rudrick, no, it’s not like that, anyway, so put that down and…”

 

“Not what?”

 

“Oh, huh?”

 

Rudrick glared down at me as I broke out in a cold sweat.

 

“That you’re engaged and to be married to this bastard, or that you’re so smitten with him that you’re bringing him gifts every day?”

 

‘That’s right! That’s it! Everything you said was not true!’ 

 

But I couldn’t shout that right away. Because I had already shouted once, everyone’s eyes were already focused on us.

 

What am I supposed to say in a situation like this, that my engagement to Lord River was actually a fake?  

 

That I was lying about having feelings for him, and that it was all done to plot against the Duke of Goldman?

 

‘How can I possibly say that!’

 

If I told him that in this room, the whole plan would be ruined. But if I didn’t say anything, I’d have to end things with Rudrick first.

 

I stared at him, unable to open my mouth to speak, ‘No, it’s not what you think it was.’

 

But unfortunately, my feelings didn’t reach him. In fact, it seemed to mislead him even more. He gritted his teeth and muttered sullenly.

 

“Ha, I should have recognized it from the moment you had the audacity to try to take her away…”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Did you know?”

 

“Know what?”

 

Rudrick lowered his voice at my dumbfounded question.

 

“That bastard’s true feelings.”

 

Lord River’s true feelings?

 

I pondered his words for a moment, then realized what he was trying to say, and before I could do anything, Rudrick spoke up.

 

“He’s actually had another…”

 

I ended up blurting out, “I know!”

 

Rudrick gasped, “…What?”

 

“…”

 

Looking at him, completely frozen, I squinted.

 

But I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t just come out and say, ‘River Goldman was in love with someone else’ in front of everyone right now.

 

There was no telling what kind of repercussions it would have, not to mention the fact that it would throw the whole plan out of whack. ‘I know,’ I said, unable to look him in the eye.

 

“I know. I already know.”

 

“…What?”

 

“I knew it all along, a long time ago. I mean…”

 

“…you knew…. and?”

 

“Rudrick?”

 

But I was soon to realize I was mistaken. 

 

For the moment I lifted my head, puzzled by the sound of his voice, I saw Rudrick staring at me in utter shock.

 

It wasn’t until I saw him staring at me, completely transfixed, his blue eyes sparkling and trembling as if betrayed, that I realized something was wrong.

 

I called out to him urgently, “Rudrick? What are you…”

 

“Did you know there was? So….”

 

“Huh? No, no, that’s not what…!”

 

“Yeah, well, I thought… you didn’t know anything, so I told you to hear it for yourself…”

 

But it seemed that he had already stopped hearing my voice.

 

As I watched him muttering to himself, I grew nervous. 

 

At the same time, I jumped out of my seat, worried that if I didn’t make amends here, there might be no turning back.

 

“No, Rudrick, I’ll explain everything. I’ll tell you everything that’s happened so far, and you just need to calm down and…”

 

“Explain what?”

 

“What?”

 

“That you decided to get engaged even though you knew, or that it doesn’t matter what the truth was, as long as he’s not…”

 

Rudrick’s voice trembled, “You like him that much?”

 

Hastily, the words came out of my mouth. And I was about to blurt it out.

 

‘No, I don’t like him. How could I?’

 

On the contrary, the one I really like was…

 

“…”

 

But I couldn’t get any words out for quite a while, and finally, after watching silently, Rudrick turned his back on me.

 

“I don’t think we have anything more to talk about, so I’ll leave you to him.”

 

“Now, wait a minute! I haven’t even said anything properly yet! Okay, let’s leave together. Let’s go somewhere together, face each other, and talk properly…”

 

“No.”

 

Rudrick said coldly, “There’s no need for that.”

 

“What?”

 

“Because I’m not going to see your face anymore.”

 

“…What?”

 

For a moment, I became dumbfounded. 

 

But no matter how I felt, he didn’t look back at me until the end, and then he pressed on, speaking without a pause.

 

“At the risk of being presumptuous, I’ll give you one last piece of advice.”

 

“What, wait…”

 

“You were around when I was younger, you should know better.”

 

The words slipped past my ears.

 

“You know what my mother used to say.”

 

With those words, Rudrick left the establishment. I stood in the distance, staring at the spot he had left. 

 

My ears caught the chatter of the others, and even the worst, Lord River, called out to me.

 

I muttered the question I hadn’t gotten out.

 

“…What?”

 

 

‘I’m X-ed…’

 

As I stared blankly up at the ceiling, I thought to myself.

 

‘I’m totally screwed.’

 

Utterly, completely, and very much screwed.

 

‘I shouldn’t have gotten so greedy trying to take them both.’

 

If in doubt, take one or the other, or give up on both.

 

Even then, I was conceited thinking, ‘I’ll tell him later, he’ll understand. I figured that for now, I’d just fake it until I made it, and then I’d explain the situation to Rudrick.’

 

That wasn’t the case.

 

That’s pretty easy for someone who has already turned his back on the world…

 

And I realized in hindsight why he had gone deaf. There was something more fundamental at work than my concern for him as a person who knew the truth.

 

‘I can’t believe he’s thinking about the Duchess.

 

Because it was connected to his dark past.

 

Looking at it objectively, my current situation was similar to the Duchess’s.

 

A man who already has feelings for another woman, and a woman who clings to a man who does not care for her. 

 

To be honest, my situation was a little different, but to Rudrick, who didn’t know the specifics of the situation, it probably seemed no different from his mother.

 

Eventually, I’d go crazy, craving a love that would never return.

 

“…I apologize.”

 

This was clearly my fault.

 

Even if I hadn’t dragged the situation out in confusion. Or, at least, none of this would have happened if I’d just grabbed Rudrick’s hand right then and there and stormed out.

 

But the water had already been spilled, and all I could do was try to figure out how to fix the mess.

 

‘Actually, the answer was already given.’

 

Whether or not Rudrick has decided to never see me again, I’m going to go and tell him he’s wrong.

 

Even if he wouldn’t meet me, even if he truly lost faith in me… 

 

I was going to keep knocking on his door. If this separated me from him, I would blame myself for the rest of my life.

 

That’s why I went straight to the Bouser mansion…

 

“No, but what if he goes straight to the north!”

 

After that happened, I came to my senses belatedly and hurriedly headed to Bouser’s Mansion.

 

There was no telling whether Rudrick had gone straight to the mansion or elsewhere, but I figured that since it was his home, if I waited long enough, he would eventually return. 

 

But instead, I was greeted by a butler bearing a troubled look on his face.

 

‘It’s… He went straight back to the north…’

 

My mouth dropped open.

 

‘He went back during that time??’

 

No, of course, I hesitated a bit, but how much time had passed?

 

Did he leave after our argument and head straight north, how could he, since O’Neill wasn’t there? Or did he learn how to use the transportation magic portal separately? So he just left without a second thought?

 

‘…Because he didn’t want to see my face?’

 

Maybe the words ‘I don’t want to see it anymore’ didn’t come out of nowhere. The thought made me despondent, but I couldn’t give up.

 

‘I’ll ask O’Neill to take me up north.’

 

Assuming, of course, that O’Neill hadn’t gone north.

 

Still, ever since she became involved in my plans, O’Neill has rarely traveled north and has been stuck in the capital, especially the day I met Lord River.

 

Believing that this time would be no different, I went straight home to wait for her, and as I suspected, she soon appeared.

 

“Good.”

 

She nodded, more cheerfully than I’d expected.

 

“Uh… Are you sure you’re okay?”

 

Prepared to be at odds with the woman who had her heart set on Rudrick, I blurted out, and O’Neill looked rather puzzled.

 

“What’s there not to be okay about?  I thought you were going to clear up some misunderstanding?” said O’Neill.

 

“No, but I thought you might not mind if I went to talk to Rudrick alone…”

 

“What?”

 

O’Neill shook her head, then smiled meaningfully, as if she’d caught on to my remark.

 

“I don’t care, I was never one to care in the first place.”

 

“What?”

 

“I mean, maybe I don’t care at all, but if it brings you two closer together, that’s fine by me, you’re important to him.”

 

“That’s true, but…”

 

She smiled gently as she said that, and I stared at her for a while. Then I opened my mouth to speak, suddenly realizing a suspicion I’d had for some time.

 

“O’Neill, could it be you…”

 

But O’Neill shook her head.

 

“This was not the time to talk to me. Didn’t you say it was urgent?”

 

“Yes, but…”

 

“Then go ahead and go. I’ll create a portal for you right away.”

 

I frowned in disbelief as she casually brushed my words aside and summoned her wand to activate her magic. But then I shook my head.

 

‘Yeah, well, that’s not the point.’

 

There was no time to care anymore. 

 

A blue glowing circle of magic was rising beneath my feet. 

 

The light grew in intensity, engulfing my body, and I could hear the voice beyond my pale vision.

 

“This time, I hope you will fulfill your destiny.”

 

And when I regained my senses.

 

“Huh?”

 

I was sprawled on top of Rudrick’s bed.

 

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