I Became The Male Lead’s Female Friend Chapter 206 - Side Story 6 - Friends or Lovers

We tried to talk to each other as normal as possible, as if nothing had happened, but our gazes were subtly averted and our minds were elsewhere.

 

It didn’t go down in history as a first night, but it did make us more reserved in our touching. 

 

From that night on, Rudrick would freak out and pull away from me at the slightest touch!

 

‘Why did you undo my belt there, no, I wasn’t trying to undo it… I shouldn’t have even tried in the first place!’

 

If there’s one thing I resent, it’s that the incident was never voluntary.

 

In the book, it says ‘strike when the mood is most ripe’, and I was only going to do it when Rudrick said ‘you can go to bed’.

 

But maybe I was too nervous, because I was holding onto the waistband like a lifeline, and Rudrick’s sudden behavior caught me by surprise…

 

‘It happened.’

 

There was no other way to explain it, except to berate myself for the disaster I had brought upon myself.

 

After several days of tearful regret, I lay awake at night.

 

One day I had a dream. I was transported back to that night.

 

The situation was similar. Rudrick nodded unquestioningly at my suggestion to join him for a drink, and throughout a couple of drinks, the mood grew ripe.

 

I casually moved to sit next to Rudrick. I tilted my face at a 45-degree angle to show off my stunning neckline, just like I’d seen in the book, and when he looked shy, I leaned my head on his broad shoulder.

 

At the same time, I smiled provocatively at him as he looked down at me.

 

“Can I… sleep with you?”

 

Rudrick’s face flushed, and my hand on his belt moved. With a snap, the belt loosened, and the nightgown slid down. 

 

Rudrick’s gaze locked on mine.

 

His hot gaze licked its way down my body. Down, down, down… his gaze hovered over my chest.

 

Finally, unable to resist, Rudrick crashed into me, and I let out a small squeal and spontaneously threw my arms around his neck. We tangled hotly. 

 

We were on the cramped couch, frantically lusting after each other, not even bothering to go to bed…

 

Bam!

 

“Huh?” I blinked and looked up. 

 

Rudrick had gotten up from his seat and was looking down at me coldly.

 

“Rudrick? What are you doing…”

 

“I can’t.”

 

What, you can’t?

 

“I was going to wait it out, but I don’t think this is right.”

 

‘Wait? This is not right?’

 

I gaped at him, open-mouthed, and sure enough, he’d gotten up from the couch and was straightening his disheveled clothes. I forced a smile and said.

 

“Well, what, what do you mean? Rudrick, put it plainly…”

 

“Literally. It was fine up to the kiss, but when it went any further, I couldn’t do it.”

 

“What, why not?”

 

“I’m sorry, Dahlia.”

 

By now, Rudrick was back to his impeccably dressed self, exuding an air of coldness as if we’d never been hot. 

 

As I froze, he gave me an ultimatum.

 

“We’re done here.”

 

Then, with a bang, he turned around.

 

Staring in disbelief at his slowly receding backside, I staggered to my feet and ran after him.

 

But the further I ran, the further he got away, and I reached out for him, tears streaming down my face.

 

“Rudrick, no, don’t go…!”

 

Don’t go, please don’t go. I already have my life with you all planned out.

 

We’re going to get engaged, we’re going to get married, we’re going to spend the first three days and three nights in bed, on the terrace, out in the open air. 

 

We’re going to have two kids, three grandkids, and we’re going to live in a cottage by the sea in our old age.

 

‘We’ll never be separated—!’

 

“Ugh!”

 

I scrambled to my feet and looked around in confusion. 

 

The futon was strewn about, and the grayish dawn light streaming in through the window made me realize.

 

“Oh no, I’m dreaming…”

 

With a long sigh, I flopped down on the bed, shivering.

 

“…What’s a dream for?”

 

The next morning dawned.

 

💫

 

“I, Rudrick…”

 

“…Why.”

 

“Oh, nothing. Mmm…”

 

“…”

 

Even on the day of my departure, the awkwardness between Rudrick and I was still there.

 

If it’s going to be so awkward, why not just take me home? I’m trying to sneak back with my luggage like a thief, and there’s a ghost waiting for me downstairs.

 

At least I didn’t run away, even though we were still stumbling around, unable to say goodbye to each other properly.

 

‘What can I say… I’m doing well, I’m eating well, I’m sleeping well, I’m taking lots of things that are good for my energy… But did I really not look good? Didn’t you feel anything? Is there something wrong with me? Or maybe it’s just me and…’

 

…Why couldn’t you do more than kiss me?

 

Several times I tried to say something, but nothing came out. 

 

My mind kept going back to the dream I had last night. Rudrick saying that he couldn’t do more than kiss me, and Rudrick turning around and walking away, saying that this was it…

 

The words almost spilled out of my mouth as I pictured it again.

 

‘You still… love me, don’t you?’

 

Instead, I smiled wistfully.

 

“‘Rudrick… I’ll send you lots of eels. I’ll send you nuts, I’ll send you eggs, I’ll send you blueberries and oranges.”

 

“What?”

 

“You should eat a lot and be healthy.”

 

It’s a bit awkward if you have a problem with that… I’ve already assured Olivia that I’m fine…

 

But whether he realized it or not, Rudrick’s expression became even more somber. He paused for a moment, as if searching for the right words, before nodding and adding.

 

“You too… don’t overdo it.”

 

At least he didn’t look too worried.

 

Nodding, I turned away. In the distance, I could hear the sound of boats in the distance, approaching the ship, and soon, one by one, the group began to climb aboard the docked ship.

 

As I climbed aboard with them, I glanced back. 

 

As always, Rudrick was there, watching me.

 

This moment always feels strange. It’s not the first time we’ve parted, and it’s not the last time we’ll see each other, but it’s always a strange feeling. On impulse, I wave at Rudrick.

 

Rudrick, who had been staring at me the whole time, waved in return. 

 

Soon the ship was underway, and Rudrick’s presence slowly faded away.

 

‘Well, we have plenty of time.’ 

 

After standing there until he was completely out of sight, I composed myself once again.

 

This time, we parted ways because we were both embarrassed, but next time we see each other, maybe we should ask the right questions. 

 

Once we’re open with each other, perhaps we can figure out how we really feel.

 

And if Rudrick doesn’t want to go beyond a kiss…

 

“Hey, it’s okay, who says it has to be physical?”

 

Or maybe my underwear was just too unconventional for him, and he’d gotten cold feet? I speculated and went back to my cabin. I sat down at my desk.

 

The sheer volume of paperwork made me feel a little overwhelmed, but I picked up my pen and set to work, determined to find out what Rudrick was really thinking.

 

God must have taken pity on me for working so hard.

 

“What, bad weather?”

 

Just a few hours later, my chance came again.

 

Suddenly, a typhoon began to roll in, and the ship could no longer move forward.

 

“They say we’re in danger of being shipwrecked if we keep going, so we’ll have to turn back.”

 

“That’s a problem… is our schedule okay?”

 

“Fortunately, we have a long vacation this time, with a few days off at the end. Of course, if the weather continues to be bad, we’ll be in trouble.”

 

“…Well, then what can we do?”

 

We have to go back!

 

True, this would mean a tighter schedule, but who cares? The only thing that really matters was seeing Rudrick again.

 

Jeron gives me a pathetic look as I start to stutter, but I hum and turn my attention back to my papers. 

 

When I’ve gotten some work done, I step out of the cabin and stretch, looking ahead…

 

“Huh?”

 

My eyes widened.

 

“Whoa, hey, why is he in there?”

 

A familiar figure loomed over the approaching docks. The elongated, tall, and seemingly unremarkable figure was…

 

‘Rudrick?’

 

Lord Leona, the commander of the Third Division, who had spotted me, and who had been assigned to escort Rudrick until he reached the duchy, exclaimed.

 

“There you are again.”

 

I didn’t miss her words.

 

“Again?”

 

“Oh, well, it’s just… he’s always like that. He leaves it empty for a day when the Princess comes and when she goes, and that’s when he waits like that.”

 

“Waiting like that? All day?”

 

“Oh, no. Well, not all day… Usually he stays a while and then goes home. Haha, you’re staying a bit long today!”

 

Lord Leona tried to placate me by saying that this doesn’t happen often, that he usually only stays for a short time and then goes back, but the words had already fallen on deaf ears.

 

I looked at Rudrick, feeling dazed as if I’d been hit in the head.

 

‘Yes, you were always the same.’

 

When I thought about it, he hadn’t really changed. I wondered how he could be so consistent. His eyes never left mine, and he was attentive to my smallest gestures.

 

He was still there, waiting for me, every time.

 

‘Why was I so worried you’d leave?’

 

My heart was pounding as the boat approached the dock. I jumped off the boat as soon as it docked, not even taking the stairs properly. 

 

Rather surprised by my impatience, Rudrick quickly moved toward me.

 

And I ran to him and jumped into his arms. Rudrick, holding me in his arms, called out to me in confusion.

 

“Dahlia?”

 

“I’m sorry, I was afraid you were disappointed, I was nervous that you’d grow distant. I’ve grown so fond of you, too…”

 

Swallowing my words, I looked at Rudrick longingly, before finally letting the flood of emotions spill out of my mouth.

 

“Rudrick, are you disabled?”

 

“What?”

 

‘Oh, come on, look at you, you disabled man.’ 

 

Crap, I was in a good mood!