Being Loved for the First Time – Chapter 21

Author: B0ucha

Chapter 5. Ninety-Nine and One

The fellow before me wasn’t quite as small as he had been last time.

Seeing that the baby had grown a little, I became certain that he, too, had been born and was living in another world.

—Calling me a bastard is a bit harsh, don’t you think?

I frowned at his words.

As if invading someone else’s dreams wasn’t enough, you’re reading my mind too?

“How rude.”

I replied curtly while attempting to examine him.

—I’m happy you’re taking such an interest in me.

Is he a pervert?

—No.

If you’re not a pervert, why are you reading people’s minds?

I couldn’t be bothered to speak aloud, so I simply answered him in my thoughts.

—Because you’re showing them to me?

I’ve never shown you anything.

—I thought you’d invited me. It’s been a long time since the door was left wide open.

Since when did not putting up a barrier count as an invitation?

I sighed at his utterly self-centered words.

“Who are you?”

—Have you forgotten me? How disappointing.

I was dumbfounded.

I’m not falling for your phone scam.

—Do you really not know me?

I told you I don’t. At least tell me your name before you start talking.

—I can’t do that. You’d come to kill me immediately.

I hadn’t even thought that far.

—Really? Then can I take that to mean you like me more than I thought?

What’s wrong with this delusional narcissist?

The moment I furrowed my brow, the baby smiled and approached me, having somehow transformed into a fully grown man.

His curly hair was a color difficult to define, and his slightly drooping eyes were strangely dark and deep.

They reminded me of the eyes I’d seen in my own reflection during my ninety-ninth life, when I’d grown tired of everything and given up.

—I hope it turns out that way. After all, you need to recognize me.

Where does that confidence come from? And you’re expecting me to figure out who you are without giving me any clues?

—I’ve already given you a clue.

The man gently patted my shoulder.

At that moment, I realized something.

I wasn’t in the form of Anastasia Endevelan.

I was myself from my first life, back when I knew nothing.

“You’re seriously insane.”

I never imagined I’d see myself looking like this again.

—Because I’m the only one who understands you.

He said it with a radiant smile.

—I’m sorry I was so rough with you last time.

What?

—I’ll wait for you, ——. Until the day you come to find me.

His words dissolved into static with a crackling sound.

The man gave me a languid smile.

Then, without any warning, he snapped his fingers.

With that sharp sound, everything before my eyes instantly turned black.

Ha, that bastard.

What a rotten ride.

The moment I opened my eyes, I felt a throbbing headache and a raging fever.

‘Still, it looks like I was only dreaming for one night this time.’

Otherwise, there was no way the maid would be dozing so peacefully.

The entire ducal household would undoubtedly have made an enormous fuss if I failed to wake up on time for even a single day.

‘Come to think of it, that bastard… He called my name, didn’t he?’

At the very last moment, although his voice had been distorted.

I had instinctively recognized it.

That had been my name from my first life.

‘Ah, I can’t forget it.’

Perhaps it was because of the fever, or perhaps because that bastard had approached me in a dream of all places.

‘His face and everything he said are already growing hazy.’

Well, he’d made sure I couldn’t properly recognize his face even in the dream.

Breathing in shallow, wheezing breaths, I hurriedly tried to deduce his identity.

First, he was a reincarnator like me.

There was a possibility that he’d lived far longer and experienced far more lives than I had.

Perhaps he’d met me directly before, or perhaps he’d lived longer than me and accumulated enough abilities to possess techniques I didn’t.

Under that assumption, I could somewhat understand how he’d shown me my appearance from my first life.

‘And his claims about understanding me would make sense too. If I met another reincarnator, I’d probably want to approach them.’

It would feel like finding a companion in a world where I’d always believed I was alone.

‘But if he isn’t a reincarnator…’

Second, he was the culprit responsible for my reincarnations.

In other words, that bastard might truly be a bastard—some sort of supreme being or god.

‘Then he has no right to call himself someone who understands me.’

The source of my troubles and my sworn enemy, perhaps.

Ah, was that why he’d said I’d come to kill him?

‘I can’t be certain either way. If it’s the second possibility, I don’t know why he’s only coming to meet me now.’

I repeatedly clenched and unclenched my hands, trying desperately not to lose consciousness.

If I fainted now, my family would probably throw the entire household into chaos again.

‘Ah, but I seriously can’t hold on any longer.’

Even though I’d celebrated my first birthday, my baby’s body was still terribly inconvenient.

‘Fine. I’ll faint.’

So come see me again.

This time, I’ll have a proper conversation with you.

‘If you’re a perverted stalker who’s stronger than me, you probably have a decent idea of my current situation anyway.’

This time, I’m leaving the door open specifically for you.

With that thought, I stopped resisting and allowed my consciousness, already fading from the fever, to slip away.

‘Wow, he really is a rude bastard.’

An entire two weeks had passed since the day I’d suffered from that high fever.

Throughout that time, I’d refrained from erecting my barrier and waited for “him” to appear in my dreams.

Just as the saying goes, the one thing you need is never around when you need it.

‘At least now I know for sure.’

That fellow had done something wrong to me.

How could he not show so much as a strand of hair?!

‘My sister cried her eyes out again right after my birthday, all because he showed up whenever he pleased!’

Naturally, after I’d lost consciousness from the fever, the entire mansion had descended into chaos again.

Perhaps because my body had been overstrained by that bastard, I’d even caught a dreadful summer cold, something people said even dogs wouldn’t catch.

I’d been terribly ill.

Whether he was a reincarnator or a supreme being…

‘Either way, he’s done something seriously awful to me.’

If he was a reincarnator, perhaps he’d betrayed me around ten times.

‘And if he’s a supreme being, then his very existence makes him a villain.’

But why would someone with something to hide appear before me?

‘Why else? People like that always talk as though what they need is something you need.’

When he’d said I would need him, I suspected he really meant the opposite.

He was probably the one who needed me.

Nevertheless, his second intrusion hadn’t been entirely meaningless.

“I’m sorry, Demon King. Choco couldn’t find out who he is. Whiiine…”

Fluttering his wings, Choco appeared before me.

He rested his chin on my knees and rubbed against me as much as he could.

I stroked Choco’s head approvingly and asked through telepathy.

—That means you found out where he is?

“Of course! If I couldn’t find that much after you gave Choco such a good clue, Demon King, I’d be too embarrassed to come back! Yip!”

—Good job, my puppy.

At my praise, Choco began purring as though his dejection from a moment earlier had been a lie.

“Right? Choco did well, didn’t he? Yip! The scent was really faint, but Choco worked so hard! I even crossed mountains! I flapped my wings really hard and went all that way! Praise Choco some more!”

—You crossed the mountain range?

“Of course! Whine, it was soooo far! The mountains made the scent even fainter! Choco tried really hard to follow it!”

—The Axion Empire?

There was only one place beyond the mountain range from here.

“Yes! That’s right! But Choco doesn’t like it there. It’s strange. Whiiine.”

—You don’t like it?

I was puzzled.

The Axion Empire was a country with ambitions of swallowing up the entire continent.

Naturally, it paid considerable attention to its military strength, particularly the development of mages and weapons that utilized magic.

Yet Choco, who had been one of my followers during my life as the Demon King, disliked the place?

‘I thought he’d naturally love it…’

Noticing my confusion, Choco rubbed his cheek against my knees and whimpered.

“Choco likes the Demon King’s magical power best! It’s pure, with nothing mixed into it! The greatest and most beautiful magical power in the world!”

—Yes, yes.

I nodded and sank into thought.

My fate.

The fate I hadn’t forgotten even once over the past year, though the warmth surrounding me had caused it to fade somewhat from the forefront of my mind.

‘The worlds I’m born into always face a time of destruction.’

And the place where I’d been born this time was one of the countries the Axion Empire—the country where that bastard was hiding—wanted to swallow.

‘I need to be more vigilant and prepare.’

The next time I met that bastard, I couldn’t allow myself to be overwhelmed so helplessly again.

And…

‘It isn’t just about preventing the world’s destruction.’

I wanted to protect every part of my family’s everyday life until the very end.

That would be the only way I could repay the affection they’d given me.

Around my birthday, the long rainy season finally ended, and the weather became even hotter.

Before August arrived, my parents prepared ice, shade canopies, and various other measures against the heat.

The summer encouragement festival in the Endevelan Duchy essentially continued for about two months after the rainy season ended.

But instead of simply distributing supplies, my parents willingly took time to travel around their territory.