Author: Chewyy

“Really? Can I really drink it all?”


“Sure. I will confiscate everything Robert has and give it to you.”


“Oh, you can’t do that. Please buy it with extra money.” 


“I will.”


“Thank you. After all, my husband is the best.”


I smiled and took a sip of wine. Then, I was concerned about Leonhard’s empty glass, so I tried to pour him some wine, but he stubbornly refused, even shaking his hand. Let me drink it all.


“Isn’t it possible that it doesn’t suit your taste?” 


“Not at all, ma’am, drink a lot.” 


“Oh, no. I promised to drink just three glasses.”


Originally, delicious drinks tasted better when shared. Since it wasn’t something that didn’t suit his taste, I put a glass in Leonhard’s hand and poured him some wine.


Then I refilled my glass and clinked it against his glass.


“And you said we would arrive at Ajas Castle tomorrow. Even if I don’t look dignified as the Marquess, I don’t want to smell like alcohol.” 


“It’s not a bad thing to smell like alcohol in the North.”




”Yes. When it’s cold, adults raise their body temperature with alcohol and children raise their body temperature with spicy food. Don’t you feel colder than that?”


As if he had just realized that I was in pajamas, Leonhard took off his cloak and tried to hand it to me.


But that would make him colder.


I shook my head to prevent him from taking off his cloak, put the glass down on the table, and moved to sit on Leonhard’s lap.


As I took his thick fur cape and hugged his large, warm body without anything to cover myself with, I felt my body temperature rising as well.




“Yes, Nell.”


“Ah, you are nervous again. When are you going to get used to me?” 


“That’s right.….”


A somewhat resigned voice fell over my head like a sigh. I giggled and leaned my head on his shoulder.


Was it the three glasses of wine I’d just had that made me sober? Or was it the warmth of his body against mine?


I wasn’t particularly sleepy, but it felt like my eyelids were closing. But this relaxed and languid atmosphere was too wasteful to do that.


I forced myself to open my eyes, looking alternately at his hand carefully wrapping around my waist and his other hand still holding the wine glass. Maybe he wasn’t paying attention, but the wine was almost half-tilted in the glass, and it seemed to overflow if left as it was.


Before that, I took his hand and brought the glass into my mouth.


“Nell, that’s what I put in my mouth……”


“Oh, you care about things like that between us.”


Come to think of it, hadn’t I also dropped and broken a wine glass while holding it in my hand?


To prevent something like that from happening again, I took the wine glass from his hand, leaned back, and kissed his lips.


Leonhard’s lips were soft like the flesh of ripe grapes. When I impulsively bit into it, it really tasted like grapes. To be exact, it tasted like Howard’s wine.


At the sight of my family’s faces that suddenly appeared in my mind, I felt embarrassed and quickly separated my lips from his. I was laughing as if I was drunk after just drinking four glasses of wine.


“Oh right. That was my fourth drink. Sorry, I forgot.” 


“No…Didn’t I tell you first that you can drink as much as you want?”


“Hmm, but I wanted to keep the promise I made.” 


Suddenly, I remembered the promise we first made.


Leonhard will be a good husband, and I will be a good mother.…


Despite my concerns at the time, he was kind and sweet to me anytime, anywhere.


As the saying goes, kindness is a disease, and kindness that makes you look forward to it is poison.


What makes this man even worse is that he doesn’t seem to realize it.


“Fortunately you are not interested in social circles.….” 


“Nell? What do you mean?”


“If you were born in the capital, Leon, you would have become the world’s Playboy.”


“Playboy….Did I do something wrong? Please let me know and I will fix it. I’m not trying to make excuses, but I’m not good at dealing with people because I’ve spent half my life working with subordinates.”


This is exactly what is bad.


If you think I’m complaining after drinking, you can just tell me to sleep because I’m drunk. Why are you listening so seriously?


“Maybe I fell in love with Leon at first sight when you first gave me a rose.”




“But it didn’t mean much at the time, right? That’s what the human heart is like. Both love and hate. It starts from the smallest details.”


A hesitation before touching, a glance that is quickly met. A smile that slips out of your mouth like you can’t help it.


Even though he was born in a place full of winter, he behaved like spring to me. 


Such a tearful spring that melts the frozen snow helplessly.


As I thought about it, I felt a little sad. I was fiddling with my wine glass and spitting out each word with force.


“The person who gives free space is the worst. If you’re not going to love them, don’t be nice to them.”


“Is there another man who gave you space?” 


“There was.”


If I think about it, he was a really bad guy. He won’t even love me, but he gives me flowers and asks me to dance.


I tried to compare the person described on the paper with the person in front of me now, but I gave up and frowned.


In the first place, the current situation is very different from the story I knew.


When I left the capital, the first prince almost became the crown prince and the second princess manifested her pattern and became the first princess.


I couldn’t imagine how this would play into the throne competition. What if the second prince doesn’t become emperor?


Losing a claim to the throne does not mean that you will lose the prince and Princess titles you have already received. However, the pattern is sealed. so that the children they gave birth to never display a pattern.


That means that if the second prince does not become emperor, he can have children, but the children will not be able to manifest the pattern. The power of the pattern has led to many crises.


‘In this way, apart from the original story being distorted, it’s like the story never even started…….’


I had no idea where the train would go after it ran off the tracks.


These past few days, I’ve been afraid of it all. Although it is true that the future cannot be predicted… 


“Ma’am! Can I ask who is the man who made you make an expression like this?”




Before I knew it, my body was lying down on the chair, and Leonhard’s face filled my field of vision. His thumb, which had a slightly rough surface, swept under my eyelids.


As I raised my gaze, which had slightly dropped at the touch, a dark shadow was cast over Leonhard’s blue eyes that were filled with me.


Flames of fire seemed to fly over the dark blue eyes, like dark clouds containing lightning. I blinked blankly.


“I’m sure that man is Duke Khalid, ma’am.” 


“What? No way! He is my friend’s husband.” 


“So If he wasn’t your friend’s husband, he is that man? it sounds like that, Ma’am.”


“Oh, my God. I haven’t even had a proper conversation with him. Leon, you know how much I suffered because of that rumor.”


“Then who is the man? Can I meet with him when we go to Howard Territory?”


“Even if you go there, you can’t meet him.…What are you going to do when you meet him?”


“I don’t know. But I think I’ll find out when I meet him. So where can I meet him?”


“Uhm, you can’t meet him. Because he died.”


It’s not mentioned in the story, but it probably is. That’s the answer I uttered with that thought, and at that moment Leonhard’s expression was colored with a strange light.


It felt like relief, it felt like regret, and it also felt like the realization of something I didn’t know.


“Hmm, Should I pray for his soul to rest in peace?” 


“Uhm, no. Don’t do that.”


It was a little weird to be in a situation where we pray for his soul to rest in peace. 


“For a man who did not need to pray for his soul, he must have been a ruthless person who could not be tolerated. My wife, please forget about such a man.”


“Yes, he’s that ruthless.….”


Both eyes sparkle fiercely. The emotion at the center of the blue eyes was not anger, but it was just as intense.


It was so unexpected that I blinked blankly and immediately burst out laughing.


“Don’t be so angry. Well, the man I was talking about is from the book story.” 


“A book story?”


Leonhard answered me with a look of bewilderment.


I suppressed my laughter and touched his cheek with my thumb. I really liked this reddish color on his snow-white cheeks.


“That kind of man appears in that story. He acted so affectionately that she misunderstood him, and even though they were married, he never loved her. But the man also gave the woman flowers when they first met.”


“Just like me…”


“Yes, like Leon. I’ve been thinking that way lately. The thought that if the man hadn’t given the woman the flowers, her life might have been different.”


Leonhard looked at me with a face that I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, and then slowly parted his lips.


“Then, if I hadn’t given you flowers, would your life have been different?”


“If that were the case, I would have been in my room at Howard by now instead of in this carriage.”


But I wasn’t sure. Even if I hadn’t received those flowers as a gift, even if I didn’t know that he and I would get married in the future. would I not love him? 


“Actually, I’m a little scared sometimes.”


 “What do you mean?”


“Even if I change everything else,….”


I’m afraid I’ll never be able to change you, who didn’t love ‘me’. 


Actually, if I think about it, that might have been the smallest and most trivial part of the things I wanted to change. No, it will.


The unhappy life of an abused child. A family that is exterminated. A large-scale civil war that disrupted people’s daily lives.


In the face of that grandiose and tearful tragedy, the wife who was not loved by her husband was just pitiful and shabby.


I’m sure there are many people in the world who can live with it. But I’m afraid I can’t. 


I promised my family that I would live happily ever after, but I don’t think I can be happy without Leonhard.


“Tell me, Nell….”


I wish you could have asked me to be a good wife, not just a good mother.


* * *


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Comments (7)

  1. I will cry. This is really sad, I wish you had more open communication.

  2. I am obsessed. completely. thousand thank you’s to the translator for such a great job. waiting fervently for more chapters omg!!!!