Speak of The Devil

Author: nicotine Editor: naralara

As was usually the case with life, people sometimes encounter completely unexpected situations. How do people react each time? It was something I had never worried about, nor did I need to do it. I found that most people either freeze or just naturally avoid it. That was what happened today.

For example, you found a good partner and went out after paying for a drink, but the person you met in front of the counter was your boss, and the person next to you was of the same sex rather than the opposite sex. More crucially, the store is a gay bar full of men.

Hello. Good evening, boss.

Well, you must be here for a drink, Secretary Lee. The person next to you is a beauty.

Conversations like this couldn’t and shouldn’t happen. However, we naturally withdrew our gaze from each other, acted as if we were strangers, and went our separate ways.

Even though I was surprised enough to fall into a panic, I didn’t even show my surprise and pretended not to know him.

“…Oh my God.”

It was while having sex in bed with the man I met today that I realized that the previous situation was real.

“Ha…Why… Why… ”

I held his ankle and raised the strength of my waist to the fullest extent, but suddenly stopped, and the guy with a blushed face asked me with curiosity. But it had been a long time since I had drifted off.

“… ”

Fuck. Without even uttering a single word, I swallowed my anxiety, poking through the inside of my partner violently, as if I was expressing my anger. As he reciprocated wildly to match the speed, I thought of another man who had been standing next to my boss earlier. I started to hate it a bit.

That slick-looking guy must be making this kind of expression under him by now.

“Hey, uh, ah! Ah!”

I didn’t like the way the man under me felt while he shrieked and shuddered, I didn’t like it at all. Aside from the feeling of pleasure accumulating in my body, I felt dirty as if I had been thrown into a gutter.

Yes. The day my boss caught me going to a gay bar.

I wasn’t worried about my future, I was angry at the fact that he went out with someone else.

To tell you my story – it is not something to brag about when I am at this age – but since I was little, I used to play a lot, no, I was very promiscuous. But that was not to say that I was an “Iljin” or someone like that. I was literally a ‘mess’. My first experience was around the time I was in my second year of middle school, and after that experience, I had nothing to lose.

Since childhood, I had grown in height, and my moderate appearance had been praised for being warm. Thanks to this even though my personality was trash-like, without putting any effort, I used to get all the girls. Many of my peers and noonas were interested in sex. Actually, dating was very annoying, but I was interested in sleeping with them. There were many opportunities during puberty when I was learning about sex for a long time.

Even though I was quite angry with some of the bullies, I was protected from them by a powerful backup. My brother was the reason for that. I played freely starting in middle school because I had my famed neighborhood delinquent hyung to guard me—a person even high school students couldn’t touch.

When I was in high school, I unintentionally broadened my playground.

It wasn’t intentional. It was something I had no choice but to do. How could a single high school student break the will of their parents?

Instead of giving up on my older brother, whom no one could control, my parents pushed me too far. I was a pretty good student except for secretly meeting women from behind, so my parents trusted me completely and gave me a lot of support. It was obvious that this was not the case, but in the end, they decided to send me to the United States to study abroad. The reason they had to send me to study abroad was because they were worried that I might get stained by my brother.

Anyway, I left Korea and went to America, which was much more open and free sexually. Just like in Korea, a face that belonged to the axis of handsomeness was quite popular in the West as well. So, I did not shy away from the new world that was unfolding before my eyes. When other boys my age coveted Western women while watching pornography, I directly devoured them with this body.

One day, while I was so engrossed, I found out that sex with a man is possible, or maybe even more enjoyable than sex with a woman. I had been seriously engrossed in sex with men for a while, as I prefer to top, but I wanted to know how it would feel from the back.

The reason why I ended my messy sex life was because my parents died in an accident at the same time and I had to go back to Korea. My older brother, the only one left in my family, said that I could study more in America if I wanted to, but I was so shocked by my parents’ death that I wanted to give up all my messy life and get away from everything. So I just came to Korea.

At that time, my brother, who was already on the dark side, reassured me that there was no need to worry about life, and he kept his word. I did not know where the money was coming from, but my brother made it possible for me to live without letting me know what I was lacking when I returned to Korea.

Thanks to this, I only studied and was able to enter a university that was well-received in Korea thanks to the fact that I learned English quite well in the United States. Also, because of my hard work even after entering college, I was able to get a job at a company that most people would know if I said its name. My sex life became messy again because I couldn’t give up my awful habit, but it was also a time when I put a lot of effort into living my life properly.

Until then, the reason I, who had always liked to play while pretending to study, lived hard was because of the guilt I felt for my parents who died while expecting too much of me, and the gratitude and regret for my older brother.

Even though we are only one year apart, with him as my guardian, I felt very sorry for my older brother. So, I studied hard and worked hard. Fortunately, I was able to show the results that my boss liked, and I got a scout offer and had to change my job with a higher salary.

Six months after I became his secretary.

“Secretary Lee, did you enjoy your weekend?”

To be honest, I, who was working well at another company, transferred to this firm because of this man rather than my salary.

“Yes, sir.”

3rd generation chaebol. A man who has learned the principles of leadership since childhood and has grown up to take charge of the group’s hotel affiliates and sat as the president of the group and showed off his abilities. If that background alone was great, you could say that he is a great person.

I never saw a man this handsome. I had never been with such a handsome man. I never thought that the day would come when my heart would pound even though I looked up at the man when my height was 180cm.

“You have a meeting at 11 o’clock. Before that, Director Lee wanted to see you first. Shall I prepare for it?”

“Go ahead.”

“Yes. Director Lee said it was about the hotel acquisition, so I prepared the related materials.”

At my words, he glanced down and checked the documents he was holding with his hand. I looked into the man’s drooping eyes.

How the hell could a man’s eyes be so pretty? His double eyelids were deep, his eyelashes were so thick, and no eyes of any woman I had met were as pretty. It was slightly raised to give a sharp impression, but even that was one of the attractive points that made people tremble. It looked kind of lewd, and when I looked into his eyes, I immediately wanted to grab the end of his neatly tight tie and pull him over here, pouring kisses randomly around his eyes.

“I will prepare coffee.”

He nodded as he sat down and checked the documents I had prepared, and I walked out of the office, trying to pry my eyes off his face. We met last Friday at a gay bar, but I didn’t have much anxiety about my employment. Well, each of us had the same weakness, and in the worst case, if there was any kind of revelation, Jung Yiyeon would suffer more damage.

Of course, there was no need to assume such a worst-case scenario. Jung Yiyeon, that person didn’t have much interest in my existence.

Nevertheless, it was inevitable to feel a little nervous because of the man’s unexpected identity. Actually, I can’t tell if this is tension or excitement from meeting the person I like. Anyway, my chest keeps getting weird and I just sweep it down without realizing it.

The drip coffee, prepared in advance in the kitchen, was slowly stirred after adding a spoonful of sugar to the cup. At the same time, about thirty spoons of affection went into it. Barely stopping the pouring in of more affection, I went into the office with the coffee and set it down in front of him reading the papers. Once I extended my right hand, I grabbed the handle and placed the cup prettily.

I was well aware that he wasn’t the kind of person who would reply or glance at his secretary while he was working. If he needed anything, he would talk to you on his own, so I stood there for about 5 seconds and watched.

Again, Jung Yiyeon didn’t say anything, and I turned around without any regrets, putting the tray I used to hold the coffee cup next to me.

But before I could even take a step, his voice rang out.

“Secretary Lee.”

“Yes, sir.”

He turned his body towards me. He still had his eyes on the papers. Ah, let me see that damn handsome face. Such sadness filled my heart.

“… President?”

He had been silent for a while after calling, so I tilted my head once more and called him. His gaze stopped at me for a moment, and eventually, he put down his papers and pen. I was a little nervous because I thought it was something serious, but the face I met with wasn’t all that serious.

“Secretary Lee.”

“Yes.”

“What is your name?”

…For a moment, I felt ridiculous, and my pulse went limp. For a second there, I thought about strangling him.

People usually assumed that my name was a bit uncommon and that once they heard it, they would find it difficult to forget. But even after I had been his secretary for six months, he was so indifferent that he didn’t even know my name. Even though I knew he was only engaged in his profession, I couldn’t help but be let down. Of course, I didn’t show it outwardly and responded bluntly.

“It’s Lee Nan.”

“Lee Nan?”

“Yes.”

“Do you use the characters for orchid (蘭)?”

Just then, I remembered the moment from six months ago, when I was offered an interview with a scout. After a few job changes, I started working as a secretary here since I possessed the required abilities and talent—though I wasn’t sure what that meant.

It just seemed a little strange to me. It was my then-boss, who was a big fan of mine, who first suggested that I move jobs. At that moment, it occurred to me that the few simple job changes I had previously had might have been an assessment of my skills. In addition, I pondered how particular the supervisor I would report to would be if I had to go through this process.

If that person had a nasty personality, I could leave the job and look for another place to work.

He was a man who made secretaries quit several times and said that it was convenient to work alone and that he only needed an in-office secretary who answered the phone and managed schedules. Even though he didn’t have a secretary to help by his side, he didn’t even intend to hide his unkindness and sarcastic expressions.

‘If Executive Director Baek is the one who introduced you, there will be nothing more for me to see.’

The one thing he was interested in was my name, which was rather unusual. Back then, he asked the same question.

‘Are you using the characters for orchid?’

No… I wonder if I, as a man, would use orchids as my first name.

“I use the Nan(暖) characters, for warmth”

Struggling to break free from the recollections of the past, I responded promptly.

By the way, my hyung’s name is Lee Won. Won, meaning warmth (溫). The brothers Lee Won and Lee Nan were quite famous names in our neighborhood.

“After thinking about it, I don’t even know Secretary Lee’s name properly.”

Haha, he chuckled shyly.

Those well-shaped lips drew an arc, revealing his white teeth. The moment when the low tone tickled my ears. Ugh… I felt my heart sinking to hell.

Am I holding my poker face well? Did my cheeks or ears turn red? He wouldn’t be able to hear my heartbeat, beating like a giant drum, right?

As I was barely controlling my mind and secretly trying to calm something soaring in my body, his voice rang once more.

“I just wanted to know your name.”

The next words completely shook me, I had barely managed to hold myself back.

“I think you should be my secretary until the day you die, Secretary Lee.”

Ah. Pampering him until I die, was my job. I guess I was born to be the boss’s secretary.

In front of a man who declared that he would exploit my labor until death, for the first time in my life, I thought that I might be a masochist.

His former secretaries left because they felt the work was difficult for the amount they were paid. For a simple secretary’s job, we had a lot of chores to deal with, and it was annoying to adjust to a severely flexible schedule. We not only worked in the office but sometimes even resumed our roles as his assistants outside.

Besides, he didn’t leave work for dinner, and when he stayed up late, I couldn’t go first and had to wait and fetch things he wanted.

While working as his secretary every day, my employer was so impolite that he didn’t even know the first two syllables of my name. Since he was such a person, when he started concentrating on his work, even if he didn’t need a secretary, he would boldly forget to tell me to go first.

If it wasn’t for money, it wasn’t something I would do. Ignoring labor laws, the man, who had a wonderful mindset that his secretary’s working hours were the same as his, compensated for the overtime with high allowances that were hard to resist. So maybe the ones who came before me were most probably mentally and physically worn out. There were many cases where they were paid a lot of money and then got fired because the boss didn’t like how they handled his work.

I was never the latter. So, I handled things the way it would make Mr. Jung happy.

But, both physically and due to the lack of privacy time, I did feel a little worn out.

Nevertheless, it was also because of that man that I couldn’t give up on this job. There was no reason to quit a job where I could earn a lot of money and have something good to look at too. My heart was full just looking at him, and there was no way I could think of quitting.

Just by looking a him, you could tell he was a man who shined. If I had to give a single comment about him wearing a tailored suit, it was that it made me hard. He was so beautiful walking towards me in the midday sun that I had to clench my fists and teeth. In an instant, all the background disappeared and I fell into an illusion that the place he walked on had become a runway.

A well-balanced body that was neither thin nor fat, somewhat taller than me. The body under the suit was beautifully fit, despite the assumption of a 30-year-old having belly fat or something like that. It was a suit that could not mold that nicely otherwise. Moreover, the ratio of the upper body to the lower body was perfect, to the extent that the legs of the man stretched out and stood proudly on the ground felt elegant.

Fuck, at this moment, I envied the asphalt he was standing on. I never dreamt that I would even want to lie down under his feet and try to be trampled on. It got better over the past six months, and after I found out he was gay, it got really bad.

I was watching him, salivating, but pretending to be humble and not revealing my feelings has been a specialty I have learned recently.

It felt like my heart was going to explode when I looked at him, and it wasn’t easy to take my eyes off him. I was seriously addicted to him. But how could I express all of this?

Even if I found out that he was sleeping with a man, I wouldn’t dare to bet on him. He was my boss, I was his secretary. That was the reality. It was a bet with too much to lose on my side if I reached out to the man who wouldn’t be 100% tempted by me.

He got into the car and I carefully pushed the door I was holding on to shut it. My seat was in the driver’s seat, not the passenger seat in front. There were many difficulties even when I first rode a car with him, as he was someone who usually drove a car by himself. The ending was that I, who was scared to be in the passenger seat, took the car key and became a driver.

After that, during my working hours, my salary was raised again on condition that I serve as a driver. While I was changing jobs, my basic salary was also raised, and if I included the huge allowances, the amount of money I received per month was quite a lot. I was receiving a salary that would have taken years if I had taken the step-by-step promotion at my original company.

For me, it was a very noble thing to do. Since I am longing for the person I serve, spending a long time together with him was happiness, not pain, and I was also receiving money while staring at him, who was an eye candy.

“Secretary Lee.”

“Yes, sir.”

“What about your meal?”

He was a very polite man. Was it possible to take care of the people around you with just a word or two, even though he didn’t have enough sincerity to memorize my name? Perhaps it was good manners because he was in the tourism business. His greetings also felt very friendly and didn’t cross the line.

This attitude and a few greetings didn’t change much since we met at a gay bar.

But it was because of this that I became conscious. After finding out that he was having sex with a man, it felt special when he occasionally asked if I had eaten or looked directly at me for a moment from his constant gaze on the payment papers.

My body shook and my ears prickled every time his look or words touched me. Not to mention my heart was palpating.

Even though everything about him was just mediocre. I was watching him with my rose-colored glasses, wondering if he might be interested in me.

“I ate it.”

Of course, as always, I didn’t reveal anything.

It was the first time in my life that I fell in love with someone so desperately. It was the first time in my life that I was embarrassed to show my feelings.

After I replied that I had eaten, I thought about it for a while and then asked him.

“Would you like a hamburger?”

“…Now? Didn’t I just have my dinner?”

The man who asked the question was a bit dumbfounded. A hand suddenly appeared next to my face and I was beginning to feel a little guilty and wondered if it had been a little too nosy. He asked me why a hamburger, but the hand in front of me was asking for the hamburger.

I was a little surprised, but pretending to be calm and okay, I handed him the well-packaged hamburger from the passenger seat. In case he said he didn’t need it, I had it rolled up in plastic to keep the smell out of the car. I should have taken it out by hand, but it was a pity that I couldn’t use my hand because the car was already on the road.

I heard the sound of the package being opened behind me.

“I will eat it well.”

The smell of hamburgers filled the car. I couldn’t stop the smile on my lips at the sound of one big bite.

Of course, there was a reason I bought a hamburger for the man who had just had a meal. It was because I knew that on the day he ate cooked fish for lunch, he ate a hamburger.

It wasn’t every lunch he had, only occasionally, and it was something I learned while cleaning his car.

He was a person with a bad habit of leaving garbage in the car, but I was just glad to get rid of it. I laughed a little, thinking how much I liked this person.

In any case, the hamburger bag was the most frequent among the garbage. I wondered why this person kept eating these types of junk food, so I checked the date and time of the receipt inside and found out that he always ate hamburgers on the day he ate sashimi and other fish dishes.

It was a burger with double meat patties. I found out that adding an extra patty was possible thanks to Jung Yiyeon. Plus, I learned that the ice could be removed from the Coke offered at fast food restaurants…

“French fries?”

“I discarded it because you don’t like eating it.”

“How does Secretary Lee know that?”

“Sometimes I find them when I clean out the trash in the car.”

A few times the fries were found untouched and buried inside the bag. During those times, I wondered what the purpose was for buying a set, but there were times when the fries were often thrown away, probably because he made a mistake without thinking. As a third-generation chaebol, I was just guessing that he wasn’t good at ordering fast food.

“You shouldn’t clean up the garbage. There are people for it.”

“It’s okay. It’s not that difficult.”

My mouth was voicing words I could never have imagined saying before. Not only did I say unimaginable things, but I also did unimaginable things. It wasn’t just about taking out the trash. I went through the trash one by one, checked the receipts and leftover food, and sat down.

I was so obsessed with this man that I wondered if this was stalker behavior. I had a lot of fun using the position of secretary…I didn’t know before that my job had such an advantage. A job as a secretary that could rationalize stalking by saying, ‘You have to understand everything about the boss you serve.’ I learned a lot of new things after getting to know Jung Yiyeon.

“Do you want a vanilla latte?”

“…Yeah.”

Seeing the cup and receipt stuck in the cup holder, I knew his taste for coffee. To be more precise, it was his behavior that I noticed after eating food he didn’t really like. A big burger with two beef patties, sweet coffee, and ice-free cola. That was Jung Yiyeon’s digestive medicine.

“Secretary Lee, are you a workaholic?”

“What?”

I tilted my head at the sudden question.

“It’s like you’re bending over backward to cater to me.”

Thud.

Was the sound of my heart plummeting to the floor?

At the words that Jung Yiyeon threw out indifferently, I felt like a fever was rising on my face, so I just stared at the car in front of me.

What? Kindness? Lee Nan and affection? It was nonsense, I was not even laughing.

My parents gave me the name Nan (暖) to be a warm person, but I was far from a warm person. I was extremely rational and selfish. In particular, my relationships with my lovers and my role to look down on people. I was a mess.

I never thought I’d hear those words that I was kind. I was accustomed to basic manners and consideration, but there were people around me who approached me even if I didn’t treat them well, and fell in love with me if I was just a little bit kind. It was fun to meet them, and if they broke up, I stopped. I couldn’t believe that I was sweet.

“You are not answering me. Did I offend you?”

No, what’s wrong with you? It made me think of two combinations that didn’t go well together, so I was just speechless. I had now realized that my obsession with him was so intense that it didn’t bother me to be associated with such characters.

“No. If you think I’m being too much, please don’t hesitate to tell me.”

“It’s my job so.”

I didn’t have to answer like that. Even when I had my previous boss, I wasn’t up to this level, but I tried to fit in with the boss. It was a necessary part of being a secretary. But now, even without much effort, all my nerves and effort were being used to identify and match him. Emotions were such a funny thing.

“I didn’t think much of it when you added a spoonful of sugar to my coffee every morning, regularly cleaned the inside of the car to maintain the scent, or put a pain reliever on my desk when I didn’t even say I had a headache.”

…I was a little surprised again. It was surprising that he had noticed how meticulously I cared for him.

“After we met at a gay bar, I felt that the actions of Secretary Lee were unusual, so I asked.”

“…I see.”

This was the first time he mentioned the gay bar.

My heart started beating again. The hamburger I ate when I stopped by to buy it for Jung Lee Yiyeon seemed to glow in my stomach. I felt like I was going to get nauseous and dizzy.

Can I drive properly? The hand holding the handle was tight.

“I should create a pleasant environment for my boss after all.”

At the intersection, the light turned red. I hit the brake a few times and gently stopped the car. While waiting for the signal, he continued saying.

As if asking, ‘Have you eaten?’, it was a professional, dry voice, as usual, and a tone without emotion.

“So, shall we have sex now?”

Glossary:

Iljin (일진): refers to the bullies who are also often delinquents within a school setting.

Nan (暖): pronounced as nuǎn and means warm, as in kind.

Lán (蘭): pronounced as Lán and it is kind of understandable why Yiyeon mistakes his name as so, since the pronunciation is kind of similar. It means orchids.