Kiss the Ground Chapter 36
Wow, things really escalated like this. A tingling sensation crept into his chest, accompanied by dizzying confusion. But Misha, instead of reflecting that desperate expression, lifted his gaze and pulled Chahyun closer to him, wrapping his arms around his waist.
“Misha.”
“Yuan.”
Their hot and strong palms pressed against each other’s warmth as Misha’s hands firmly gripped Chahyun’s waist. As their swollen parts pressed tightly against each other, the rationality they had tried so hard to maintain tumbled down like gravel off a cliff. The shattering sound in their ears was the pounding of their hearts. Misha gazed at Chahyun silently, almost pleadingly.
The serene gaze unsettled Chahyun’s heart. It felt like someone holding his hand, guiding him on shaky legs. It felt like he would plummet into darkness if he let his guard down for just a moment…
“You…”
Chahyun glared fiercely at Misha’s heated gaze. What exactly was going on in that mischievous mind of his? Was he suggesting they surrender to this insane gravity and throw themselves recklessly?
And then what?
It was when Misha raised his hand that had been sprawled on the blanket all along. This time, he rested his hand on the waistband of his training pants and met Chahyun’s eyes with a provocative yet submissive expression, as if he was ready to lay everything bare first.
“Hey.”
Without hesitation, he casually lowered his pants. They were wearing the same clothes, so he knew just how easy it was to remove and put on. Unable to move even a finger, Chahyun couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight before him.
It was an impulsive act of a thoughtless kid, they said. He shouldn’t intervene… The faint voice of reason faded away like lowering the volume of a speaker. Misha provocatively sucked on his lips without a care, his actions seeming like a clever ploy, yet the protruding object beneath his gaze was a vivid reality.
Chahyun slowly shifted his gaze downward. It wasn’t the first time he had seen this. In his line of work, it was almost inevitable to see the genitals of the same gender. With everyone running around, showering, there was hardly anyone delicately trying to cover themselves. And often, after a match, they would get erections quite frequently.
But seeing it up close was a different matter altogether. As he looked at the raw object below, only one thought crossed Yoon Chahyun’s mind.
Is this even human? How can it be so big, like something insane suddenly pulled out a fire axe from under an angel’s robe. The mass he felt against his thighs wasn’t just Yoon Chahyun’s imagination.
Descending firmly from his pubic bone, the guy’s object was already standing erect at a low angle, stiffly erect as if it could barely fit in one hand. The reddened tip, more swollen than anywhere else, revealed its weighty mass under the lights.
For someone with such a refined and elegant appearance, nicknamed prince or nobleman, to possess such a crazy thing was beyond belief.
What exactly is race, nationality? And even more bizarre was how exceptionally handsome it was. If not for the size, it resembled a masterpiece from medieval artists. In fact, Misha’s tongue was long and beautiful too.
Perhaps due to seeing something so shocking, blood rushed quickly. It was in that moment, with Misha clumsily reaching out to Chahyun’s pants, that he brought his arm down.
“Yuan, what are you thinking?”
Misha seemed to have no intention of giving Yoon Chahyun time to ponder over his own feelings. His gaze, half sincere and half gambling, was familiar with Chahyun’s irritating personality of constantly debating ethics and morality.
Partly earnestly, partly as if playing a game of chance, Misha’s fingers lingered around Chahyun’s pants before slipping underneath. He glanced at Chahyun’s closed-off face, then leisurely lowered the front part.
“Ha….”
The excitement wasn’t exclusive to Misha. As the pants and underwear were pulled down, his firm member quietly rose upward.
He was erect. In front of another man’s body.
Chahyun looked down as if it were someone else’s affair, watching as his and Misha’s collided. The two heats, subtly aroused, clumsily met and moved slowly, nodding in agreement.
It felt like a misdirected film. It didn’t seem like it was happening to him.
Ah, this is passive acquiescence. Knowing full well what will happen if he doesn’t intervene, yet actively allowing it, even not holding Misha’s wrist.
“Hah.”
At the low chuckle, not his own, Chahyun raised his head with a flushed face. But Misha, with a face so terrifyingly devoid of laughter, looked down at their lower bodies overlapping. Chahyun closed his mouth, intending to protest, and met his gaze.
“This happened… because of me, Yuan.”
“…”
“Because of me…, looking at my body.”
It was eyes that didn’t seem to focus properly. A look as if the connection to something in his mind had been severed… A facial expression he had definitely seen not long ago. As soon as Chahyun recognized it, Misha suddenly sat up and grabbed Chahyun’s arms. It was rough and stubborn, as if it had been funny antics until now.
Overwhelmed. Knowing it was irreversible, Chahyun stepped into it. Whether it was because of Misha’s pitiful plan or his own doing, he had to admit it now.
As his pants clumsily caught on his legs and stumbled a few times on the floor, his body soon fell onto Misha’s. He lifted Chahyun’s legs, pulling them up onto him, pressing his exposed member even more overtly. It seemed that pretending to be innocent was as far as it would go.
“You’re just gonna act like that and get mad?”
“Ugh….”
Wicked guy. The words were the same as before, but the attitude was completely different. Yet, the inside of his neck and below his waist grew heatedly honest. A strong desire filled the void so sharply it made his stomach churn.
As Chahyun, sitting on Misha’s knees, grasped his shoulders as if to endure, he immediately reached out and wrapped his hands around both of their heats below. He noticed Yoon Chahyun’s hypocritical weakness, weak to pleasure but strong in principle.
“Oops, wait… just a moment.”
The fully extended grip clasped their members together and moved slowly up and down. Reacting to the unfamiliar sensation, Chahyun grabbed Misha’s arm, squirming beside him. Their sharp-edged arm muscles brushed against each other as if in a fight. But Misha seemed to have no intention of yielding the position to Chahyun.
The long and awkward movements continued. There was something awkward about the gestures compared to the speed at which they approached. Not because they were holding onto a soft male member, but because it seemed they weren’t used to pressing flesh against another. The rough handling of lifting the penis continuously was crude and painful. There were no tricks or manners, just heading straight for the end.
But oddly, his clumsy touch stimulated Chahyun’s heart. When Chahyun twisted his hips at the warm stimulation, Misha’s blunt passion pushed forward, thrusting against his own.
Frowning, Chahyun fully resisted his efforts. He wanted to endure. If he did, perhaps Misha would apologize for his clumsiness by patting Chahyun’s chest.
“Don’t get angry.”
“I…I’m not… angry. Ah!”
“Don’t get angry…”
The tender gaze and persistent gestures unevenly heightened the sensitivity. They reached a good spot, only to retreat as soon as the mouth opened.
Just a little more, just a little more… Like sitting on a misaligned chair, they creaked and groaned, heading somewhere aimlessly.
Misha’s fingertips, smooth and gentle, as if playing a piano, traced the edge of the glans before scratching the wrinkled part below. A momentary sensation, as if struck by lightning, sent a tearful sensation cascading from his forehead to the soles of his feet.
Unable to bear the overwhelming pleasure, Chahyun pressed his thick thighs against Misha’s side. The swollen knuckles brushed against the blanket, and the dripping pre-cum under Misha’s hand was spread and smeared like anointment.
“Ah… Misha, please, too much.”
“Yuan… Yuan.”
As he applied more bodily fluids onto their genitals, Misha called out Chahyun’s name in a heated voice. It seemed like he was just happy with that. Yoon Chahyun responding to his hand, even if it was unremarkable. His focused face and uncontrolled touch were endearing.
Endearing? Chahyun was surprised by his own thoughts, eyes widening.
Is it really okay to be swept away like this? Is it okay to be with someone who has never built a proper relationship, and even go all the way in this act?
Clearly, all of this is new to Misha. And he doesn’t know how valuable his first times are. Despite hearing words of affection, he still wants to offer himself to someone who tries to bind him in a contractual relationship. He’s satisfied with just being by Chahyun’s side, even if it’s only for this purpose…
Really, is he satisfied with something like this?
A bubbling feeling consumed Chahyun’s body. Impulsively, he reached out his right hand and placed it on top of Misha’s hand. More than this, it would be nice to go a bit further in the same direction. To hold him and lead him in the right direction, to a better place, where the mood could improve even more.
But is there really such a path?
Wrapping his hand around a palm larger than his own, his movements kept getting misaligned. To prevent slipping, Chahyun adjusted his hand’s movement at a slow pace. Then, Misha jerked his bowed head. His ears and face, visible through the strands of hair, were completely flushed.
While trying to match Chahyun’s pleasure more than his own, Misha seemed to be quite excited himself. His face contorted as if running a field and emitted a different rough breath. Seeing the fluttering eyelashes, a fond feeling overwhelmed him.
“Why…why am I…getting angry at you?”
Chahyun whispered softly as he gripped Misha’s nape with his left hand. The two stiff pillars tangled messily and fell apart. The palm slid long from bottom to top over the slippery fluid. The sensation of trickling down near the tip and roots of the genitalia was tender enough to be terrifying.
But the consistent clinging of the liquid dots was reality. Squeaking, unmistakable sounds and breaths echoed in the room. Compassionate contemplation and guilt vanished, replaced by the beginning of pleasure filling the void.
As both were silenced by overflowing pleasure, faint laughter from far away could be heard. It was so faint that the contents were unclear, but it could roughly be guessed that they were colleagues on the same floor. Just a few months ago, they were making noise in there, and now here they were, tucked away in a corner with Misha, doing this. Life is full of surprises.
“Yuan.”
The movements gripping the two pillars quickened slightly. The hand, pushing up the skin, reached just below the glans before quickly descending. The damp urethra received a faint light, shimmering. Only then did Misha gently grasp Chahyun’s back. With the warmth of their bodies and rough breaths, they could tell they had reached the final stretch.
Chahyun exerted more force on Misha’s hand overlaid on his own. Was it because the other was Misha that they had come this far with such vague hand movements? The familiar burning sensation began to tickle the inside of his stomach in no time.
“Misha…, lift your head a bit.”
“……”
“Look at me.”
Misha, as if trying to etch the current chaotic scene into his eyes, kept looking downward. Only at Chahyun’s urging did his gaze, now blurry, lift. The gray tainted by desire was as intense as ever. Meeting eyes, they rapidly shook their hands up and down.
“Yuan, Yu….”
The beginning of climax surged like a tide. Gasping and tingling with a pleasant sensation, Chahyun breathed heavily. It felt like it would be okay to thrash around in any way at this point.
As if traversing through eerie sensations of burning and freezing, he grabbed Misha’s hair and forcefully pressed his lips against theirs. Tongues tangled, muscles clenched, saliva mingled deep within each other’s depths.
Then, right after, a thrilling climax erupted like waves.
“….!”
It was a dizzying sensation as if his heart were tearing apart. Hot liquid spurted out from the hand gripping his member. The thick fluids of both men spurted long and short, splashing onto Chahyun’s abdomen and thighs. With each convulsion-like sensation in Chahyun’s abdomen, Misha’s body convulsed in unison.
Chahyun pushed his moans into Misha’s mouth. The corridor’s sounds were audible; if they made any sound inside, it might be heard. The suppressed vibrations reverberated through their throats.
Chasing the trailing edge of the pouring sensation from the ceiling, Chahyun moved his hand frantically. The two fluids mixed and tangled, whitening the palm. A particularly long and intense sensation flooded his body.
“Ugh….”
With trembling lips meeting seamlessly, Misha closed his eyes and sucked deep on Chahyun’s tongue. Their tongues, slackened, swirled around Chahyun’s mouth and entire brain. Along with the heavy, muddy kiss, breaths as if crying alternated.
Ah…we…
We have now crossed the threshold.
With a head muddled after climax, Chahyun suddenly realized his impulse had overtaken him.
***
“It…haah, haa….”
It was long after they parted lips. Chahyun leaned back, holding Misha’s nape, then pressed his forehead against theirs, breathing heavily.
“Ah…Misha, are you…okay…”
What flowed out very slowly was worry. Despite lacking experience with others, he couldn’t help but feel concerned. Misha, with a dazed and absent-minded expression, still gazed down at the intertwined lower bodies of both Chahyun and himself.
Chahyun followed that gaze and slowly lowered his own eyes. He could vaguely guess from the lukewarm, sticky sensation on his right palm, but the lower part was a mess. Translucent semen mingled entirely, flowing down Misha’s firm abdomen and his own thighs, blatantly proving what had just happened.
“Oh… it’s a complete mess.”
Chahyun murmured quietly. As his heart gradually calmed and exhaustion set in, his head oddly rotated into a more rational mode. It would take quite some time to clean all of this up. He might even need to shower again.
But at that moment, Misha’s actions stopped all of Chahyun’s thoughts.
“….”
“Misha?”
Misha peered at the semen overflowing in his left hand as if it were something precious, then brought his hand straight to his mouth. Soon, his delicate tongue emerged, licking away the remnants as if they were ice cream. With a persistent motion, as if determined not to leave anything behind, he sucked on Chahyun’s fingers, then promptly grabbed Chahyun’s hand and kissed it in the same manner.
“Hey!”
A scream tore from Chahyun’s vocal cords. Horrified by the absurd sight, Chahyun tried to withdraw his hand, but Misha persistently teased his palm as if he intended to strip off all its skin. A conversation bordering on a scream ensued.
“What are you doing?!”
“I want to eat.”
“Are you crazy? Spit it out!”
Struggling, Chahyun rounded his hand as if holding a ball and brought it under Misha’s mouth. However, Misha shamelessly swallowed what was in his mouth like a dog on a walk picking up something to eat. With shock, Chahyun’s hand fell helplessly under the blanket.
“This is insane….”
What on earth is this? Why would anyone want to eat this mixture of yours and mine? Starve and scavenge… Beyond provocative, this scene bordered on barbaric, leaving Chahyun feeling drained.
Misha looked utterly satisfied. Seeing his brazen expression, any desire to raise objections vanished. Instead, a belated feeling arose in Chahyun’s heart. He grabbed tissues from the bedside table, wiped away the remaining semen, pulled up his clothes, and pondered alone.
Once, there was a time when he… likened Misha to a serum that boosted his condition. They even made contracts based on mere kisses, assigning each other’s roles. Nevertheless, if what happened now wasn’t just a simple impulse.
Chahyun raised his head to look into Misha’s eyes. A faint question arose. Misha’s puzzled gaze called out Chahyun’s name first.
“Yuan.”
“Misha, do you…”
Chahyun whispered quietly.
“Are you okay like this?”
“What do you mean?”
“What I’m doing to you… what we’re doing right now.”
Misha’s lips parted slightly. It was an expression of uncertainty.
“Are you really okay with having a relationship where we only make excuses like contracts… kissing, and doing things like this?”
What more do you expect from me beyond physical satisfaction and instinctual acts?
Misha always emphasized his usefulness to Chahyun. His necessity and significance were his justification. Even today, up to this moment, it was the same. His words and actions always reminded both of them that they were within the realm of these superficial rules.
Chahyun pondered this, then confessed heavily,
“Things like clauses are just excuses. Ultimately, you know I’m using you for my own reasons.”
Misha stared intently at Chahyun’s face. Chahyun could anticipate his imminent response.
“…I don’t mind. We promised to do it this way.”
But it was not the answer Chahyun wanted to hear. He shook his head, lips trembling.
“You said you liked me… that you’ve been watching me for years.”
As Chahyun grasped the sheet, creating small wrinkles, Misha reluctantly agreed in a faint voice.
“Yeah.”
“But are you really satisfied with this? Saying ridiculous things like contracts… that a kiss is enough?”
“Yuan. If it’s just you, then I’m okay with it.”
The quiet tone made his heart ache even more. Misha lifted his head and rested it on Chahyun’s chest. It was a submissive yet possessive gesture.
“Really. I’m fine. Don’t say things like that.”
Brown hair lazily tickled Chahyun’s neck. A gentle voice resonated from below the chest.
“I was the one who proposed this contract. You don’t need to feel guilty… We promised it from the beginning.”
“…”
“You don’t have to worry about anything else. I’m fine like this. Really.”
“That’s not…”
It’s not like that.
Chahyun knew that Misha fundamentally possessed shades of resignation. He behaved like someone who, despite giving as much affection as possible, had no desire to receive it in return.
Whether it was sympathy, jokes, or exploitation, all he wanted was for Chahyun to understand him. The simple concept of emotional exchange seemed too shallow for Misha.
Blind and one-sided affection… Sometimes it felt too simplistic to Chahyun, and at other times, it was too complex to comprehend. In those moments, Chahyun felt a barrier from Misha. Like an impassable transparent barrier, it left him feeling helpless and pitiful.
But Yoon Chahyun still wasn’t sure of anything definite. He just couldn’t let him go.
“…Tomorrow’s game is enough for now. Let’s stop here today.”
Chahyun raised his hand and pulled down his loosely draped shirt. This conversation was simultaneously ridiculous and provocative. As the well-sculpted body disappeared beneath the shirt, only a perplexed expression remained.
Again. Somehow, seeing the face trying to guess the other’s thoughts made his heart race. Chahyun rose and hugged him with his head still resting on his chest.
“Yuan… Why?”
“Stay and sleep here, Misha.”
“What?”
In the sudden embrace, Misha seemed somewhat surprised. It was evident from the blinking of his eyes as he emerged from the hug and looked at Chahyun. Feeling the clear gaze fixed on his face, Chahyun nonchalantly lay down on the bed.
What came to mind in his darkening thoughts was someone’s cruel disclosure. “That kid never shed a tear even when something precious died…” It was a heartless and rational remark, but Chahyun’s thoughts were different.
Misha isn’t devoid of emotions. He’s like a balloon on the verge of bursting, waiting for the needle to pierce it, carrying fluctuating emotions.
One step. The distance seemed within reach yet unattainable. Suddenly, a calmness found its way into the darkening consciousness. It was futile to strive alone like that; it was all so laughably futile. Embracing the sweeping wave that came over him, Chahyun hugged Misha’s head even tighter.
***
The small breaths from above shook the strands of hair. Gradually, the irregular heartbeat found its rhythm, and the sound of slow beats could be heard.
Misha gently removed Yoon Chahyun’s arms that had been wrapped around his neck. His black hair was scattered across the white sheet. Perhaps tired from the away games and rehearsal matches, he didn’t even bother to open his eyes to the movement of Misha’s hand holding onto his forearm.
“Yuan.”
He called out the name distinctly, but there was no response. Deep sleep. Misha slowly got up from the bed and sat beside Chahyun. Then he raised his hand and gently stroked his own cheek.
A convenient face. Because Yoon Chahyun likes it.
From the moment they first met, Chahyun had praised Misha’s appearance. The words about having a face sufficient to live even without playing soccer were hard to interpret, but upon seeing Misha’s sincere smile, he finally understood it as a compliment. The moment when the appearance that had always been superficial gained meaning, Misha thanked the parents who gave it to him, both for the first and last time.
The recent events were no different. Chahyun’s eyes, which had been hotly gazing at him just moments ago, lost their usual clarity and became heatedly moist. Surely, it must have been this face that made him feel that way, even though he adamantly declared that he didn’t view someone of the same sex as an object of desire.
If only he hadn’t been born a man. Then everything would have been a little better.
Meeting a female sibling who looked just like him was agonizing, as if his throat was being constricted. It hurt as if all his organs were being torn apart. It was a surprise that Chahyun paid more attention to his words than to herself.
Misha leaned over, bearing weight on one arm, and looked down at the sleeping face of Chahyun. His eyes, usually filled with an upright light, were closed, and the seriousness of his lips had slightly softened. Misha had known for a long time that this was his tender inner self, veiled by perfectionism.
That’s why Yoon Chahyun’s question just now was difficult to understand.
Are you satisfied with just a contractual relationship?
Of course. It’s enough.
Being by your side, just being satisfied with the distance you allow me, like a wound, is enough. It’s perfect for Chahyun, who faithfully and impeccably shares an undisclosed contract with Misha, different from others. Moreover, Chahyun graciously accepts even Misha’s excessive possessiveness or whims when they surface.
“Is there anything beyond this relationship?”
He had thought the same thing on the day he heard about Misha’s jinx. He had been so angry that his face had changed color when Misha made the proposal. Even if he demanded that Misha change himself by any means necessary, Misha was ready to comply.
Misha got up from the bed. The sheet swayed slowly, but Chahyun didn’t even bat an eyelid. After staring at his motionless form for a moment, Misha knelt on the bed and lifted Chahyun’s upper body, laying him in a fetal position. Then, he pulled out the blanket beneath him and covered it up to his chest.
It wouldn’t do for him to catch a cold the day before the match. Perhaps such things were as important to him as life itself.
Gazing at the profile laid on the pillow, Misha slowly brought his lips to it. His trembling breath drew close enough to brush against Chahyun’s cheek.
“Yuan…”
Misha, quietly studying Chahyun’s closed eyelids for a moment, whispered softly.
“I don’t really understand you.”
Misha couldn’t comprehend his idol. Without even a touch of the lips against the skin that seemed within reach, Misha withdrew again. He didn’t want to do anything now that wasn’t agreed upon between them, something Chahyun disliked.
Suddenly, a strange sensation tingled inside his brain. Furrowing his brow for a moment at the unfamiliar feeling, Misha turned away and left Chahyun’s room, step by step.
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