Solo For Two Chapter 31
In an instant, Karel’s strong grip seized Sasha’s shoulders. Sasha let out a small scream, tears blurring his vision as he barely managed to look at Karel. Why did it seem like he, too, was crying? Sasha searched the corners of Karel’s eyes, but tears did not stain his face, as if Sasha had imagined it.
“If you understand my feelings even a little… you need to disappear from my sight.”
Facing Karel’s raw emotions head-on was excessively frightening and difficult. Sasha tried to steady his trembling body.
“I did as you wished. Because you left me, I erased you from my life too. What reason is there now to cling? Suddenly craving what I used to have?”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”
In a state where he couldn’t properly grasp what Karel was saying, Sasha mechanically repeated apologies. Whether this fueled Karel’s anger further was unclear. Sasha tended to become defensive when faced with conflict.
“You’re pitiful. There were times when that aspect of you was endearing, but not anymore.”
After completely detaching Sasha from himself, Karel released his hand. Sasha almost collapsed at that moment but managed to support himself with trembling knees.
“If you truly understand me, don’t pretend to apologize. Don’t bring up the past in front of me again.”
“Karel…”
“Don’t pretend to miss me or pretend to understand me.”
“……”
“Just don’t pretend to know me.”
Each word stabbed violently at Sasha’s heart.
After reuniting with him, Sasha spent weeks recalling his mistakes. Even how Karel concealed this anger and tried to maintain a gentlemanly demeanor in front of him… The profound shame overwhelmed him.
“Do you understand?”
“Yes…”
Sasha weakly wiped away tears with his sleeve.
“If you understand, then never bring up the past again. That’s all.”
And Karel neatly adjusted his clothes where Sasha’s handprints had lingered. He glanced at himself in the mirror and smoothed his tie. The button on his shirt had come loose due to Sasha’s desperate clutching.
“Karel.”
Karel, Karel.
Sasha called out several times, but Karel didn’t respond. Sasha hesitated before calling out his other name.
“S… Scar.”
“Speak.”
Again, Karel replied, perfectly composed. Sasha gathered the courage to ask.
“Why did you come today?”
“……”
“It wasn’t because of my invitation?”
In response to Sasha’s question, Karel answered with a slightly weary expression.
“I came here today not because of your invitation… As I mentioned earlier, it’s because of the theater renovation investment. Mikhail invited me. If that gave you any strange expectations, I apologize.”
Sasha lowered his head weakly.
As Karel left the dressing room, Sasha hurriedly followed him. He didn’t know what to say or how to stop him, but he couldn’t let him go. Levin, who had been waiting outside, tried to speak to Sasha but sensing the tense atmosphere, he wisely kept quiet and disappeared.
Many had left for the evening, and the theater corridors were quiet. Sasha led the way, sensing Karel was looking for an exit. They walked in silence, Sasha unsure of what to say.
Before opening the door, Sasha asked with a despondent feeling.
“If I… want to see Scar Gun again, um, what should I do?”
“Sasha, as I said, you don’t need to make an effort for the theater.”
Karel’s tone was somewhat softened compared to before. Sasha, realizing it was merely a minimal courtesy directed not at her past lover Sasha, but at the principal dancer Sasha, trembled and bit her lip until it almost bled.
“This isn’t about the theater; it’s my issue.”
Sasha’s words caused a brief flicker of doubt in Karel’s eyes.
“I personally request to meet you.”
In the dark theater corridor, Karel’s expression was barely visible. Her eyes, which could shine golden under light, were now tinged with a dark emerald green.
“…So it’s true that you’re looking for a patron?”
At this point, why he brought up ‘patron’ wasn’t clear, but Sasha nodded vaguely. It seemed she thought along those lines due to Hartley or the Patron’s Club membership.
“And what if I were? Do you have any intention of becoming my patron? I mean… not to ask you to love me like before.”
Sasha’s face, as she continued speaking, was as pale as a wax doll.
“Just that I want to see you again.”
“I see.”
Eventually, Sasha’s words cracked Karel’s mask-like face. It seemed mocking and disappointed at the same time, but Sasha didn’t care how he interpreted it. She knew well that Karel harbored disdain and hadn’t forgiven her.
“I’m not that foolish to…”
As Karel’s expression became tainted with anger and disgust, Sasha felt a strange satisfaction. Responding with anger now, rather than being emotionless like earlier when dealing with others, seemed better.
“You know. I’ve been… accustomed to trading with my body.”
Those words once again angered Karel.
Karel’s breath became rougher, and he spat out a curse. His gloved hand grabbed Sasha’s jaw forcefully. Under the strong grip, Sasha felt her throat constricting, gasping for air.
Karel leaned in close, grinding his teeth.
“Yeah. You know how to satisfy me.”
“Ugh, K… Karel.”
“That’s the only thing you’re good at. Better than pretending to be innocent.”
“Let go of this hand, I can’t… breathe…”
Karel released Sasha’s jaw forcefully, causing her to stagger back against the wall.
Sasha looked up at Karel, panting heavily. Karel’s back, tightly stretched by the suit jacket, rose and fell slightly. He stood there, seeming to suppress his emotions.
“…If there’s something you need, contact my secretary.”
Leaving those words behind, Karel opened the door. He didn’t meet Sasha’s eyes one last time.
And through the open door, into the glamorous Parisian night, Karel quickly disappeared.
Rumors swiftly spread that the elusive ‘Scar’ had become Sasha Sedrin’s official patron. Most reactions were that Sasha Sedrin, who had been doing things she hadn’t done in the past few months while seeking a patron, had finally succeeded.
In addition, news spread that Scar had decided to invest heavily in the remodeling of the opera theater, further cementing the rumors. Parisian high society, who enjoyed adding fuel to gossip, buzzed with excitement. Partly out of jealousy and resentment towards Sasha for fishing in Scar, and partly out of contempt and hatred…
Even though it wouldn’t look good for Sasha to be seen as a patron of a lady, especially when Scar, rumored to be a sensualist, was involved, more people began to view Sasha with ridicule. The rumor quickly spread to the public. The image of a man with shining talents and a beautiful appearance plummeted to the ground in an instant. Ironically, tickets continued to sell out, filling the house every night.
The scandal of Sasha was so noisy that even Levin, who had no interest in such things, heard every detail. But Levin couldn’t believe the rumors. The Sasha she knew and the protagonist of the rumor were not the same person.
Anyway, Levin kept her mouth shut amidst all the commotion. She felt relieved that she hadn’t disclosed to her parents and siblings that she worked for Sasha. If they had known, they wouldn’t have let her off easily. Lately, journalists were lurking near Sasha’s house, occasionally snooping around.
Levin thought she should be even more cautious as she recalled a certain man.
The man with the elaborate attire who had barged into the dressing room that day.
“Is that person Scar? But Sasha used a different name for him… What was it?”
However, Levin decided not to ask until Sasha herself spoke about it. Instead of deducing more, she resolved to act as if she hadn’t seen anything.
* * *
Sasha, riding in the luxurious carriage sent by Karel, arrived at the former fortress.
Recently, Sasha had learned that this fortress, akin in size to Ludwig Mansion, was also owned by him. Originally, it was said to be a property only wealthy individuals capable of buying high-priced items could afford. Now, it had fallen into Karel’s hands. The reason Sasha knew all this in such detail was because people around her kept bringing up stories about ‘Scar.’ Strangely enough, those who had been reluctant to divulge information about him were now the first to come forward with all sorts of tales once it was confirmed that Sasha was sponsored by Scar.
The Karel they described from their mouths was a completely different, very unfamiliar man compared to Sasha’s memories.
“Be ready to go out around noon on Monday. A carriage will be sent.”
Receiving the secretary’s message, Sasha eagerly awaited that day. And when the promised day arrived, Sasha meticulously bathed, applied perfume to her neck and wrists, and got into the carriage.
Ironically, when Sasha started her career in Paris, she wanted to be called ‘Sasha,’ the nickname Karel used, instead of her real name ‘Alexandre.’ She even adopted it as her stage name. However, in reverse, Karel abandoned his own name and now insisted she never call him that again.
It meant starting anew with the new Karel, not the Karel of the past.
“Just start again. From the beginning.”
That was Sasha’s conclusion.
Following the still businesslike attitude of the secretary, Sasha walked through the quiet tree-lined corridor bathed in sunlight. The room she arrived at was one she had visited once before, with a door that could only be locked from the outside. As Sasha walked in and left the door to close behind her, she immersed herself in thought. When the effects of the stimulant wore off, her mood sank drastically. At such times, Sasha would become listless yet composed.
Sitting on the white sheets of the bed, Sasha thought. If she sat here and waited, ‘Scar’ would now walk through that door and embrace her.
“That’s all I need right now.”
Sasha smiled faintly.
How strange.
I finally feel alive now.
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