Author: nicotine

Instead of desperately avoiding Woo Yeonjae, it was closer to simply not reaching out first. Considering that Woo Yeonjae had always been the one to initiate contact, it wasn’t really a big deal.

“It doesn’t seem like you’re avoiding him.”

“If things aren’t the same as before, then it is avoidance. I’m not just talking about physically, but emotionally too.”

“Is that so.”

Moon Seoyoon muttered as he flicked the ash from his cigarette. Hearing Nam Taeun’s words, it seemed to make sense.

“Does he not know you’re avoiding him?”

“My feeling is that I’m just not contacting him much. From his perspective, nothing has changed. He probably doesn’t know.”

“Hmm. Really?”

Nam Taeun tapped his foot and rubbed his cheek with the hand holding the cigarette.

“There are people who are quick to notice changes in relationships.”

The thought that Woo Yeonjae might be such a person worried him, but he remained optimistic, thinking that since he hadn’t overtly avoided contact, Woo Yeonjae probably wasn’t paying much attention.

“What is it?”

Nam Taeun, who had been snuffing out his cigarette, checked his phone at the sound of a loud vibration. His smooth forehead wrinkled slightly.

“Hey, kid. You’re done smoking, right?”

“Why?”

“I need to go somewhere for a bit.”

Judging by his sulky tone, it wasn’t a place he wanted to go.

“Go ahead. I’ll finish one more and head in.”

“Another one? You? Are you sure something isn’t up?”

“No, it’s nothing.”

Moon Seoyoon smiled faintly. He knew that even if he went inside, his mind would be a mess, so he planned to organize his thoughts while smoking. Even though he knew he wouldn’t find an answer, he just wanted to do it. Perhaps he had a vague hope that if he let this suffocating feeling pile up, it would eventually dull.

“Damn, I shouldn’t be leaving after dragging you out. Sorry. Here, take this instead.”

Nam Taeun pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and handed it to him. Moon Seoyoon, knowing his taste, grimaced.

“Aren’t these strong?”

“Yep. You should smoke strong ones when you’re troubled.”

Even though it was nonsense advice, Moon Seoyoon took the pack he offered.

“I’ll be off then. Don’t cry and look for me if I don’t come back.”

“Hey, am I a kid? Why does everyone treat me like one?”

“Goodnight, pup!”

Nam Taeun chuckled, gave him a playful tap on the butt, and walked away briskly. Moon Seoyoon watched his retreating figure blankly before sitting on the bench. The quiet, now empty school and the cool breeze had a certain charm.

He didn’t know how much time had passed. Moon Seoyoon stared blankly at the cigarette pack Nam Taeun had left behind, then pulled out a cigarette. His hands moved familiarly as he placed the cigarette between his lips and lit it. As he inhaled deeply and slowly exhaled, sparks scattered.

Once he started thinking deeply, he wouldn’t be able to stop. So, he decided to continue his thoughts only until he finished his cigarette.

As he slowly inhaled the smoke and even more slowly exhaled, flicking his fingers, a hand appeared silently from behind and took his cigarette.

“Hey, what’s this?”

Moon Seoyoon, thinking it was Nam Taeun playing a prank, turned around with a smile.

“I didn’t know…”

The smile faded into confusion.

“I didn’t know Moon Seoyoon smoked.”

Woo Yeonjae stood with a defiant posture. His half-lowered eyelids, dark as the night sky, looked down at the person sitting.

“Was it that bastard who taught you to smoke?”

The white cigarette twirled between Woo Yeonjae’s fingers. At the soft question, Moon Seoyoon froze completely. Misinterpreting the silence, Woo Yeonjae ran his fingers through his hair with an annoyed expression.

“Is that the good person you always talked about?”

His eyes were hard, and the corners of his mouth lifted at an angle, looking ferocious.

Caught off guard, Moon Seoyoon blinked dumbly. The wind, rough as it blew through the darkened leaves, brushed against his cheek. It wasn’t particularly cold, but the wind was chilling nonetheless.

It seemed the approaching spring was an illusion. A shiver ran down the back of his neck, exposed to the open air.

* * *

Lately, Woo Yeonjae had been feeling down. He fiddled with the corner of his phone, his expression slightly grim. Why does everything feel so dull? Misinterpreting his meaningless actions, Kim Hyunseung whistled teasingly.

“Waiting for a call from your girlfriend?”

“I just saw her.”

Woo Yeonjae lazily responded, moving only his eyes.

“Ah, you lucky bastard. But since you’re a guest, I’ll get you some water.”

Kim Hyunseung got up and walked to the fridge. Woo Yeonjae’s gaze returned to his phone. He didn’t intend to check for messages, but he couldn’t help but think about it.

With a quiet sigh, he put his phone in his pocket. As he tapped his toes, Kim Hyunseung suddenly thrust a cup at him. Woo Yeonjae took the cup and set it on the table in front of the sofa.

“What brings you to my place? Weren’t you always complaining about how dirty it is?”

Kim Hyunseung, in comfortable clothes, scratched his belly and sat next to him. He mumbled to himself, curious about this unusual visit.

“I was bored.”

“You? Bored?”

“And to check on Moon Seoyoon.”

“Why are you asking me about Moon?”

Kim Hyunseung frowned, looking skeptical. Soon, an expression of exasperation crossed his face. It was the kind of look that said, “Not this again.”

“Did you fight again?”

“I don’t recall ever fighting with Moon Seoyoon.”

“What are you talking about? You ignored him for two years.”

Kim Hyunseung bent down and picked up a snack bag from under the sofa. With a pop, the bag burst open.

“If you didn’t fight, why are you asking me about Moon? You’re such a weirdo.”

“Are you in touch with Moon Seoyoon?”

“With Moon?”

Kim Hyunseung tilted his head, offering the neatly opened snack bag. His hand nudged the bag as if telling Woo Yeonjae to take some, but he quickly pulled it back.

“It’s rare for Moon to reach out first. Saying we keep in touch isn’t quite right. But he’s been like that since high school… It’s nothing new.”

Kim Hyunseung answered, recalling old memories.

Moon Seoyoon was always like that. Unless you called or messaged first, he rarely reached out. The interesting part was that even if they didn’t talk often, meeting him felt comfortable. Perhaps it was because they’d known each other since high school, but more likely it was Moon Seoyoon’s calm demeanor. He always felt the same, no matter how much time passed.

Because of this, many people liked Moon Seoyoon. Some friends were upset when he suddenly chose to enlist and only informed them on the day of his training completion ceremony. Kim Hyunseung was one of those who had expressed his disappointment.

However, soon everyone reacted with a typical “That’s just like Moon Seoyoon.” His subtly elusive nature was quintessential Moon Seoyoon.

“Lately, it feels like he’s been subtly avoiding you.”

“Avoiding?”

Kim Hyunseung blinked as he munched on potato chips. Woo Yeonjae shot him a disdainful look as if to say he should eat more neatly, but Kim Hyunseung didn’t care. It was absurd to think he couldn’t eat snacks in his own place just because of his neat-freak friend. Woo Yeonjae was always like this, so it didn’t even feel annoying anymore.

“Got it.”

Kim Hyunseung found the answer in the word “avoiding” that was hanging between Woo Yeonjae and Moon Seoyoon.

“What?”

“Seems like our Moon has finally had enough of you.”

The answer seemed obvious to Kim Hyunseung. He began to prove his point by rummaging through the snack bag.

“You’ve been overbearing with Moon Seoyoon all this time. It’s good to be protective, but there’s a limit. He’s already done with his military service. He got discharged before me?”

Anyway, overprotection was the issue. Busy searching for the chips at the bottom, he didn’t even check Woo Yeonjae’s expression.

“Even I, just watching from the side, sometimes thought, ‘Wow, isn’t Woo Yeonjae suffocating Moon Seoyoon?’ Imagine how he felt.”

Sometimes, Woo Yeonjae could be suffocating to Moon Seoyoon. Even if he never outright pressured him, there was always a subtle sense of it. It was too delicate to call out directly, and Moon Seoyoon never seemed to mind, so it was usually overlooked. But looking back, it was definitely there.

In high school, they were too young to know better, so it was just overlooked. If Woo Yeonjae had acted the same way as adults, he would have said something. After they started university, that atmosphere wasn’t noticeable, so he didn’t mention it. But now seemed like a good opportunity to bring it up subtly.

“Maybe he’s only now realizing it because he’s been too easygoing and compliant. Or maybe he’s just having fun with university life and is distracted.”

After military discharge, every little thing seemed interesting. Kim Hyunseung finally took his eyes off the snack bag and continued.

“And you two have known each other forever. Maybe he’s just tired of it.”

Woo Yeonjae turned his eyes to meet his gaze. The strikingly dark color made Kim Hyunseung involuntarily flinch, his hand trembling.

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