Approximal Guide Vol. 4 Chapter 5

The prescription from the ward was nothing serious.

“It’s just a slight scratch. I’ll disinfect it. For a gunshot wound, the prognosis is good. There won’t be any scars.”

It was a relief to see Kim Moohyuk’s ESP waves calm down a bit upon hearing that. Until then, he had been so fierce that even I, his guide, found him hostile.

After finishing the treatment, we headed back to the dormitory. Despite the considerable distance from the ward to Garam-dong where the dormitory was, he lifted me up and flew just like he did when we came from the factory complex to the center. I wondered if he wasn’t tired, but when I tried to guide him, he looked at me as if he was about to crush me, so I had to withdraw my guiding waves. Wow, was Kim Moohyuk always this scary? I only got a teaser, but I wondered how his combat opponents, who had to endure his full killing intent, managed to stand on their two legs. Because of that, I couldn’t even ask if using an Esper’s ability for trivial matters like commuting to and from the center was prohibited within the center.

As soon as we arrived at the dormitory, I was about to head to my room with relief when I was blocked again.

“Take it off.”

“…Huh, what?”

I had forgotten that I was still frozen in place, and I could only respond in surprise to his words. Take off what? What…? As I blinked in confusion, he spoke again with a blank expression.

“Take off your top.”

“…No… We just treated the wound, so why…”

If we hadn’t stopped by the ward for treatment, I might have understood his request, but I had just had five stitches and gauze applied in front of him at the guide ward. So, his sudden request made even less sense. But he didn’t wait for me. He reached for the hem of my top. Startled, I pressed it down and looked at him.

“Wait, I’ll do it.”

I didn’t know why he was doing this, and since he wouldn’t answer, it seemed better to take it off myself. Even so, the situation of undressing in front of him was bewildering. Before, I had nonchalantly stripped off my top and bottom, and it was Kim Moohyuk who had looked at me with an annoyed expression…

Suddenly becoming conscious of it was incredibly awkward. Judging by his gaze, he wouldn’t give up until I took off my clothes, so I had to give up on asking for a reason and take off my top. Since it wasn’t a shirt with buttons, I had to cross my arms in an X and lift it over my head, so I turned slightly away from him and quickly took it off. Even while I was pulling my arms out of the sleeves, he was staring at me intently. Not knowing what that gaze meant, I didn’t even notice the pain in my throbbing arm from moving it.

Then, he suddenly approached me as I was halfway through taking off my clothes. Startled, I stepped back, but he didn’t stop. …Why am I acting like this? Never mind his strange behavior, I didn’t understand why I kept feeling this way in front of him. I kept avoiding him and being cautious. Was I like this before…? I didn’t think so… Before I became aware of this, I couldn’t remember how I used to treat Kim Moohyuk.

While I was lost in thought, he grabbed the clothes still hanging on my arm and pulled them off, then sat me down on the living room sofa. He flicked his index finger in the air, and the emergency kit containing medicine and bandages slowly flew over and landed steadily on the table in front of the sofa. I finally understood why he had asked me to take off my clothes and felt embarrassed for no reason.

I was relieved to know it wasn’t for any particular reason. I didn’t even know why I was relieved. He took something out of the emergency kit and spoke.

“Arm.”

I obediently extended my arm, trying not to be conscious of my exposed upper body in front of him. Fortunately, he remained expressionless. With one of us calm, I felt my own nerves settle. For the first time since entering the dormitory, I could be unaware of him even as he removed the gauze from my arm.

Kim Moohyuk had taken out waterproof tape from the emergency kit. Although I had five stitches, the wound wasn’t deep enough to tear the muscle, and it was small. The width of the waterproof tape could have been smaller, but he carefully applied the largest one and gathered the trash that came from applying the tape.

“Take a shower and come out.”

“Um, okay…”

It was both unsettling and comforting that he simply told me to shower without asking anything. I desperately needed a hot shower.

I slowly got up and walked past him towards the bathroom, holding the top I had taken off at his command. I felt his gaze burning into my back. Yet, I couldn’t turn around. What if he really was staring at me the whole time? I ended up walking quickly. Even with the waterproof tape, I couldn’t stay under the shower for too long, so I washed as quickly as possible.

Even though it was just a scratch, my arm ached, making it difficult to lift my hand over my head to shampoo. When I came out, Kim Moohyuk was not in the living room. I wandered around, wondering where he had gone, but there was no sign of him in the house. Even knocking on his door yielded no response.

I thought about just going to my room but decided to open the door again.

“Ah…”

What greeted me was a neatly made bed. There was no one in his room.

“What’s this… Where did he go…”

I considered calling him but decided against it, thinking he might have gone out for a mission report. So much had happened in just a few hours, from encountering Kim Moohyuk at the place Kang Jinseong took me to, to seeing Ha Seonghan there. Given my poor stamina, it seemed best to sleep and think about everything with a clear mind later. My arm was starting to throb again, possibly because the painkiller was wearing off.

It was actually a relief that he wasn’t in the dormitory. I thought it would be better to rest for just three hours and then check on him. …He must have heard me shouting Ha Seonghan’s name… I hope I don’t wake up to find myself arrested as a spy. Byeongeun would testify for me if that happened.

With that thought, I lay down and quickly fell asleep without even drying my hair. It was like being covered by a cozy blanket. As soon as I was under it, I felt snug.

I felt someone staring at me intently.

“Kang Hajung.”

It seemed like someone was calling my name. The problem was, I couldn’t tell if they were calling Sergeant Kang or me.

I existed here, but I wasn’t supposed to. If Sergeant Kang, who had lost his life, found out, he might scold me for having such trivial thoughts. Knowing that Han Byeongeun was the only one aware of my return sometimes made me feel a bit lonely. That’s why I wanted to discharge quickly and start anew in a place where no one knew me, not even Sergeant Kang. How did things end up like this…

“Kang Hajung.”

Someone called me again in my drowsy consciousness. It was a familiar voice. I tried to frown and respond, but it wasn’t easy. I wanted to ask who exactly they were calling, but all that came out was a mumble. Even though I was in a light sleep and could feel everything clearly, it was hard to fully wake up.

Then, something heavy pressed down on me, slowly bringing me back to consciousness. When I realized I was in my room where I had fallen asleep and could identify friend from foe.

“Captain Kim…?”

“……”

I almost called him by his name. I was quite startled because Kim Moohyuk was lying on top of me, hugging my waist through the blanket. Reflexively, I released my guiding waves. Only then did I realize he was trembling while holding me.

“Captain.”

“……”

I called his name again, but he didn’t respond. The way he was hugging me tightly and trembling made my body vibrate. Kim Moohyuk didn’t answer my call. I tried to pull out one arm, but I couldn’t escape his grip. It was as if he was holding me tighter to prevent me from running away. Sighing at the ache in my wound, I called out to him soothingly.

“Captain, just a moment. Let me check your temperature.”

“……”

He still didn’t respond, but he slowly loosened his grip. Without hesitation, I pulled out one arm and placed my hand on his forehead.

“You don’t have a fever…”

“……”

While I was checking his temperature, Kim Moohyuk had his eyes closed. Like a good child who had decided to be obedient and receive care. His forehead felt almost cold, as if it were lukewarm. Seeing his wet hair, it seemed he had taken a shower. If he didn’t have a fever, why was he trembling? Was it chills? But it wasn’t even the cold season. The weather outside might be chilly, but not enough to make a healthy adult Esper tremble like a leaf.

Even though I kept asking him why he was doing this, Kim Moohyuk remained silent. Just as I was trying to think through the situation calmly.

“Kang Hajung.”

“Yes, Captain.”

“……”

Once again, he called me first but didn’t respond. Fine. Do as you please. I was about to give up on getting an answer.

“Kang Hajung, is that your name?”

At those words, my breath stopped. I felt like I was freezing from the parts touching him, unable to act nonchalant. While waiting for my answer, Kim Moohyuk pulled the blanket aside and came closer, hugging me tighter. When my injured arm brushed against him, I couldn’t help but let out a groan, and he opened his eyes to stare at me.

“……”

“……”

In the room lit only by the bedside mood lamp, our gazes locked. Not knowing what to say, I just blinked blankly.

Kim Moohyuk tightened his arm around my waist. His body was still trembling slightly. I wanted to hug him, thinking the chills hadn’t subsided, but my mind was too tangled with the question he had just asked.

“Answer me.”

Kim Moohyuk’s voice, urging me to respond, was very low. It sounded like a whisper. There was no need to speak loudly since it was just the two of us in the bedroom, but hearing that small, low voice felt like someone was scraping down my spine.

“…I don’t understand what you’re saying…”

That was all I could say. I wanted to make some excuse, but I was cautious, fearing that speaking would only make things worse. Without breaking eye contact, he burrowed further into my embrace.

Even though he was bigger than me, it looked like he was hugging me. I had no choice but to wrap my arms around his back. No, it was more like I chose to hug him, even though I could have pushed him away.

…I don’t know why I’m doing this. Heat spread from the parts touching him. Even though it was clear that Ha Seonghan had returned alive, why was I more worried about Kim Moohyuk? This was a new feeling. Kim Moohyuk had always been like a grocery bag I carried on my way home. The contents were precious, but the weight made me slightly tired. He had always felt like a burden, but since when…

Suddenly, my face flushed. Heat rose to my neck and ears. I felt distressed, realizing what this emotion meant. Kim Moohyuk didn’t miss that moment. He lifted his head from my embrace and spoke.

“You know what I mean.”

“……”

The sudden formality caught me off guard. He always spoke to me like a subordinate, so why now? I was confused. Kim Moohyuk couldn’t possibly know… I had hidden my unique guiding waves for a long time, and Sergeant Kang and I only shared the same name, with no other identifiable commonalities. I couldn’t fathom why he was asking me so directly.

Was it because I called Ha Seonghan by name? I could make any number of excuses for that. I could even insist to Kim Moohyuk that he misheard. But Kim Moohyuk didn’t ask how I knew Ha Seonghan’s name. It was as if he knew I would avoid giving a direct answer.

“…I told you, I don’t understand what you’re saying. Why are you suddenly being formal…”

“Hajung.”

Kim Moohyuk tightened his arm around me. Our chests pressed together. We were so close that every breath we took was felt by the other. I avoided his gaze, feeling the heat rise. Kim Moohyuk grabbed my chin, preventing me from turning away, and whispered.

“There was someone who took care of me when I was young.”

“……”

His voice, which had returned to the familiar informal tone he used since I stood before him as Sergeant Kang, sounded like he was about to start an old story. Reflexively, I looked at him, only to freeze when our eyes met. Despite his gentle pronunciation and low voice, his gaze was relentless.

“I watched that person for years and then lost them.”

“……”

There was a rustling sound. I didn’t immediately realize it was the sound of fabric sliding down my back as he raised his upper body.

“…Captain.”

I called him like a sigh. Kim Moohyuk had climbed on top of me. The contact between our lower bodies was intensely distracting. I blushed, not knowing what to do. I knew this wasn’t an appropriate reaction at my age, but I couldn’t fully define my feelings for Kim Moohyuk, and our position was driving me crazy. Our intertwined legs, our chests pressed together, and the weight of Kim Moohyuk on me were overwhelming.

It felt like the unfamiliarity born from something deeply familiar. I knew Kim Moohyuk well. I knew exactly when he stopped growing taller, the shape of his fingers, the scar above his eyebrow, and his otherwise unblemished, smooth skin.

But I had never thought about what his weight might feel like. The heat and heaviness from his chest pressed against mine, the sensation of it rising and falling, his firm thigh between my legs, and the subtle difference in his scent despite using the same bath products—all of this made Kim Moohyuk feel like a stranger to me.

Only then did I realize that the Kim Moohyuk I thought I knew and the one now atop me were two completely different men. Why was it only now, in this situation where I was trapped beneath him, that I came to this realization? Heat surged from the skin brushing against his. The warmth spreading to my ears and the redness creeping up my neck were impossible to hide, leaving me flustered. That embarrassment seemed to fuel the flush on my face even more, but I couldn’t stop it.

How could I escape his interrogation in this situation? Kim Moohyuk spoke as if he could see right through my thoughts.

“He doesn’t know what I wanted to do to you.”

“……”

Those words stole the breath from my lungs. It sounded as though Kim Moohyuk was confessing his feelings to the person I used to be—Colonel Kang. Before I could even process my confusion, Kim Moohyuk let out a faint chuckle. The vibrations of his laughter traveled through his chest to me. I had no chance to stop my face from flushing even more.

“I was greedy, you know.”

“……”

“And yet, I couldn’t even reach out. Because he didn’t want that.”

Kim Moohyuk narrowed his eyes, a sly smile playing on his lips. He looked like a devil luring prey into a web, one that had slithered into my bed. A wave of heat coursed through my body, concentrating in one place, making my brows furrow. No, Kang Hajung. Get a grip. You’re being interrogated about your identity right now. This is no time for distractions. Even as I tried to calm myself, I couldn’t stop the rush of blood pooling in my lower abdomen. Sensing this, the sly Kim Moohyuk deepened our contact. He stared intently at my lips, even letting out a faint huff.

And then he spoke words that sent my mind soaring far beyond the stratosphere.

“But our Sergeant Kang Hajung doesn’t seem particularly inclined to reject my touch, does he?”

You—! You…! I couldn’t find the words. Because he wasn’t wrong. I couldn’t even blame him. I bit down on my lip, at a loss for how to respond, as Kim Moohyuk lightly touched my lower lip and continued.

“So, if you’re not my Instructor…”

“……”

“Then you won’t refuse this either.”

With those words, Kim Moohyuk, who hadn’t taken his eyes off my lips, leaned in closer. His lips drew nearer, little by little. My heart felt like it might explode. When Kim Moohyuk lowered his head, I flinched and squeezed my eyes shut. It wasn’t the first time we had kissed. In fact, we had been kissing quite frequently lately.

But that didn’t mean I had gotten used to the smooth, soft sensation of his lips against mine. Being enveloped in his scent, feeling the weight of him pressing down on me, and kissing him—all of it was too overwhelming. I tried to squirm away, but it was futile. Kim Moohyuk’s lips finally landed on mine.

“Wa-wait…”

At my final plea, he paused slightly, murmuring as he hovered just above my lips.

“…It’s too late.”

You—you little…! He was laughing. The faint smile on Kim Moohyuk’s face made the heat rush through my body even more intensely.

I felt wronged but didn’t even know what exactly felt unfair.

If I pushed Kim Moohyuk away now, it would be like admitting I was Colonel Kang Hajung. So I couldn’t do anything. Thinking it over, I could have just refused his kiss, berated him for his absurd accusations, and acted like nothing happened.

I could have asked what on earth he meant and how a kiss could determine a person’s identity. Pretending not to know anything would have resolved this, surely.

But…

“Wait, Captain! Just… wait!”

I grabbed at Kim Moohyuk’s shirt in desperation. But even with my hands on him, I couldn’t push him away. The kiss deepened further. My protests, muffled by his lips, didn’t even sound like meaningful words. I was overwhelmed with confusion.

The kiss was relentless, filled with a determination I couldn’t understand. How could he show such intensity? Fine, let’s say I harbored feelings for him beyond that of a student for his instructor. There were plenty of reasons why. He had saved me countless times, possessed a respectable character despite his young age, and was strikingly handsome. But still, I was the one who had taken care of him since he was young—how could I develop such feelings now? My head spun.

Then it hit me. Kim Moohyuk wasn’t that young anymore. Enough time had passed since we first met that he was now in his late twenties. On top of that, he’d even been promoted. He wasn’t someone I could still treat like a kid. That’s when I realized—perhaps I had always looked at him that way, even back then. And now, I was finally becoming aware of it.

With my head feeling like it was about to explode with audacious thoughts, it was as if Kim Moohyuk sensed my turmoil. He exhaled a deep breath, detaching his lips from mine. Even then, his proximity left the surface of my lips tingling. As I frowned at the unfamiliar sensation, he rubbed his thumb lightly over my lips, his gaze unexpectedly tender.

“Thinking of taking another bullet in front of me?”

…Well, maybe not tender exactly. His sharp eyes carried a certain sternness that made me instinctively bite down on my now-wet lips.

“Do I need to personally demonstrate what it looks like to lose your mind?”

At that moment, I fully understood why he had been trembling so much earlier. My cause of death, a fatal blow from a rock that pierced my chest, must have awakened his own trauma. The resemblance to such a physical impact had clearly triggered something deeply embedded in him.

Realizing this made me feel endlessly guilty. He’d already suffered so much after my death, and here I was dredging it up again. Yet what struck me even harder was…

“Down there…”

Kim Moohyuk muttered as if taken aback, his expression slightly crumpling. He didn’t shift his position atop me but instead glanced downward. I couldn’t stop him, my face hidden behind my palms in utter mortification. There were no words for this… a physical reaction. His response alone was proof that he’d undoubtedly noticed.

My neck and face burned red in an instant, and I couldn’t even decide what part of my body to cover first. The reason for my reaction was painfully clear: knowing that my actions had triggered his trembling—this powerhouse of an esper, the strongest in the center, succumbing to such vulnerability because of me. The realization was far more overwhelming than the deep kiss we’d just shared.

And so, I finally understood the truth of my feelings toward him.

“I can’t believe this.”

“Don’t ask me!”

I shoved him aside and scrambled to my feet. I don’t know. I don’t want to know. How could I possibly admit that I… that I… with Kim Moohyuk? The reason I paid more attention to him than Ha Seonghan, why I had been ready to give up my long-dreamed-of discharge to ensure his happiness, why I kept living after losing Ha Seonghan… How could I admit all of that?

Kim Moohyuk looked at me with a bewildered expression, as if he hadn’t expected my reaction, which only made it more unbearable. Without looking back, I fled the room. I didn’t even bother grabbing a coat, rushing out of the dormitory altogether. I slipped on my sneakers and ran like my life depended on it. This was insane. How could I feel this way about Kim Moohyuk? About someone 12 years younger than me? Kang Hajung, you absolute lunatic, say something!

I ran until my lungs felt like they’d burst. If Kim Moohyuk had chased after me, he could’ve caught up in no time, but thankfully, he didn’t. Eventually, I found myself at the communal guiding room near the infirmary grounds.

“Haa…”

I let out a heavy sigh, guilt and relief swirling within me. Though I felt bad for leaving Kim Moohyuk behind, a part of me was grateful he hadn’t followed. How could I ever face him again? Exhausted, I trudged into the guiding room, locked the door behind me, turned on the electric mat, and let out a quiet sniffle.

Of course, I didn’t cry. It was just the cold making my nose run. Wrapped in a blanket, I lay down, staring blankly at the ceiling as I wondered how I’d confront Kim Moohyuk tomorrow. Before long, I drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, I woke up and waited until I was sure Kim Moohyuk had gone to work before sneaking back into my dorm. After a quick shower and change, I checked my phone, finding a series of messages and missed calls.

Kim Moohyuk Captain

– Where

– Are you?

– I said, where are you? 10:38 PM

Two missed calls. He must’ve realized I’d left my phone behind when I didn’t answer. Normally, he’d have tracked me down at the guiding room without hesitation, so the fact that he didn’t meant he felt awkward about facing me, too.

That thought only made me want to vanish from the face of the Earth. What kind of monster am I, having done… that to a younger guy? If I dwelled on it any longer, I’d seriously consider turning in my ID tags and smashing my head in with the butt of my rifle.

Though the morning passed in relative quiet, the center suddenly grew chaotic in the afternoon. I’d purposely visited the cafeteria near the end of lunch to avoid Kim Moohyuk, only to overhear people murmuring about why the center was so abuzz.

“They say there’s going to be a joint training between Korea, China, and Japan? Apparently, Japan and China have too few guides, so they want to scout even D-grade guides from here. I wonder what the conditions are like.”

“This guy doesn’t think about serving his country and is ready to jump at a scouting offer. Are your ancestors Won Gyun?”

“What are you talking about? I’m a Lee.”

“Then Lee Wanyoung.”

Listening to the bickering espers, I tilted my head. I had heard quite a bit about the shortage of guides in the Chinese People’s Liberation Army and the Japanese Self-Defense Forces. In contrast, South Korea’s special forces had a relatively high number of guides compared to espers, true to the country’s reputation for having abundant talent despite scarce resources.

Even though the ratio was 3:1, it was still significantly better compared to the 7:1 ratio in China and Japan. Back in my day, it was around 5:1, so it seems to have improved. I lost interest and continued eating when a message arrived on my phone.

[Web Message] All guides affiliated with the Seoul-Gyeonggi Center, except those on duty, are required to assemble.

Date: Today

Time: 2:30 PM

Location: Yeonghyeon Hall

What kind of event requires us to gather again? I tossed my phone onto the table and slowly got up. I was already in a bad mood, and now being ordered around made it worse. How did I ever manage to be a soldier with this personality?

But just yesterday, if my lower half, which had never caused any trouble in my life, reacted to a kid 12 years younger, who I had raised like a disciple? Even if a three-star general came, I might have shouted to hell with communal living.

Yes, I was in a rebellious mood. I was ready to show what it meant for my mood to dictate my attitude. I boarded the shuttle to Yeonghyeon Hall with a scowl, ready to pick a fight with anyone who crossed me. The shuttle was packed with guides. They all seemed excited about going to Yeonghyeon Hall, which was strange. Pretending to sleep, I crossed my arms and eavesdropped on their conversation. Apart from Han Byeongeun and Kim Moohyuk, I had no friends. Maybe I should make some guide friends. Just then, the guides in the front seats started talking about the information I wanted to hear.

“They’re recruiting guides for the joint forces this time?”

“What’s going on? I thought they’d never let guides go abroad.”

“I don’t know. They say China offered a lot of money to the government?”

“Oh boy, we’re being sold off.”

“That’s true. But the conditions are good. They lack guides, so they’re keen on improving guide treatment.”

There was considerable subtle discrimination against guides in any country’s military. The reason for discriminating against espers and guides was simple: to strengthen the power of espers. In fact, guides could live ordinary lives with regular jobs. Restricting their freedom and tying them to the military to support espers was another form of persecution. It wasn’t about treating them well because they were valuable, but rather treating them poorly to prevent them from realizing their own worth.

‘These bastards never change.’

I thought indifferently. Then I realized that only guides were on the shuttle. Usually, espers would ride with their paired guides during events. Even though not everyone working at the center had a vehicle, it was common to see espers on the shuttle. This was strange.

…Could it be that they didn’t call the espers? The thought crossed my mind. Introducing guides to espers from other centers would cause a commotion, let alone inviting guides alone to a place with the Chinese and Japanese forces. How did they plan to handle this? I didn’t know who was in charge of the event, but it was absurd. Joint training was a national event, so it must have been reported to the higher-ups. Planning such an outrageous event meant it was approved at the top. Or maybe the central command issued the order first.

It didn’t seem like Kim Inhak’s idea to hold the joint training at the Seogyeong Center. Kim Inhak disliked such troublesome events. He hated anything that increased work without benefits. He wouldn’t have suggested holding the training at Seogyeong Center himself. The central command must have decided on Seogyeong Center and sent detailed orders for the event. Now they were even using guides for diplomatic purposes? I didn’t like the increasing tyranny of the central command.

The shuttle arrived at Yeonghyeon Hall. I got off with the other guides and walked slowly. I was debating whether to tell Kim Moohyuk about this. Normally, I would have reported it. It was the proper etiquette for a guide with a paired esper. Even if there was no special relationship between us… No, there was a new dynamic just yesterday… Anyway, even though we weren’t lovers, it wasn’t polite to attend an event where I might train with other espers without informing my paired esper.

So I kept walking, phone in hand, still undecided. Even as I entered the lobby of Yeonghyeon Hall, I was unsure. After running out and ignoring all contact, including staying out overnight, it felt awkward to reach out first. Before, I would have reported it without a second thought, saying, “Look at what these bastards are doing.”

As I kept walking, I saw a line forming ahead. They were collecting the guides’ phones. I couldn’t help but laugh. It felt like they were determined to sell us off. Without further hesitation, I sent a message to Kim Moohyuk.

Captain

Captain, they say we’re doing joint training with the Japanese and Chinese at Yeonghyeon Hall.

I told you, right?

2:24 PM

I sent the message in such a hurry that I didn’t even check what I had typed. They were collecting phones right in front of me. I didn’t even see if the “1” next to the message disappeared before I had to turn off my phone.

“Write your name and military number on the sticker and attach it to your phone.”

A tired-looking administrative lieutenant in front of me handed out stickers from a pouch. After writing my name and submitting my phone, I was finally allowed to enter Yeonghyeon Hall. It was suspicious that they were collecting phones, but I was relieved I had sent a message to Kim Moohyuk. Why did I even worry about such trivial things? No matter what I did with Kim Moohyuk… Anyway, it was a non-issue, and I didn’t know why I was acting like this.

I sighed and followed the other guides inside. As expected, there were people in Chinese military uniforms and Japanese Self-Defense Force uniforms lined up. It felt like a new recruit orientation. It was amusing to see the military playing matchmaker. Since all guides in the center were required to attend, there were many paired guides like me.

I wondered how they planned to handle the inevitable protests from their espers as I stood behind the gathered guides. I thought I wouldn’t be visible from the front since I wasn’t that tall, but I was wrong.

“Line up by rank.”

The same tired-looking lieutenant shouted. I had no choice but to step forward. The funny thing was, there were no S-rank guides. It meant they couldn’t present perfect high-rank guides here. So I had to walk to the front row where the A-rank guides were. Because of Team 12’s Lee Jungkyu, the guides didn’t look kindly at me.

They were probably annoyed that a low-rank guide like me had been promoted to A-rank, giving them something to gossip about. They glanced at me and whispered among themselves.

Yeah, kids. Uncle is handsome, right? Take a good look. I couldn’t flip them off, so I just stared blankly ahead. The atmosphere grew noisy, and everyone looked towards the entrance. I wondered if Kim Moohyuk had arrived and craned my neck to see. But it wasn’t Kim Moohyuk who entered.

It was a very tall esper in a Chinese military uniform, slightly shorter or about the same height as Kim Moohyuk. He was a handsome man with a gentle impression. Just by looking at his face, I thought he might be high-ranked. All the high-ranked espers I had met were good-looking. Since it wasn’t the person I was waiting for, I straightened my head and let my gaze wander. I wondered why they were making such a big deal out of this and looked at the administrative officers whispering on the platform.

There didn’t seem to be anyone from the central command. Usually, high-ranking officers would be present at such events, but there were none. I thought they might just be explaining the joint training briefly when an administrative captain stepped onto the platform, turned on the microphone, and spoke.

“We will now begin the mock matching test for the joint training.”

…What? Are they crazy? Why are they doing a matching test when I’m not even going to pair with them? It wouldn’t matter to guides without pairs, but for those with pairs, doing a matching test with another esper was like officially cheating. Even if the paired esper and guide weren’t in a relationship, it was like saying, “I don’t like you, so I’m going to see what other espers are like.” Other guides started murmuring. It was too absurd.

Excluding high-rank guides and only gathering A-rank and below for a matching test, then making some kind of deal through guiding during the joint training was an unofficial declaration. Whoever came up with this plan was a genius. But I couldn’t immediately refuse the matching test.

A lieutenant in the B-rank guide line raised his hand and said.

“I have a paired esper!”

The captain on the platform replied indifferently.

“Yes, as explained beforehand, this is a ‘mock’ matching test. It won’t be recorded, and it’s an event with an entertainment aspect to commemorate the Korea-China-Japan joint training.”

Yes, because the word ‘mock’ was attached to the matching test. Even though it was a mock test, they would use the same machine, and the results would be accurate. But just because it was called a mock test, paired guides and their espers couldn’t protest to the military.

They had thought this through brilliantly. I sighed. If I resisted further, they might hold a disciplinary committee for disobeying orders from the central command. Other guides seemed to realize this too and started whispering among themselves.

…I hope Kim Moohyuk doesn’t get too angry. While I was worrying about that, the machines for the matching test were being brought in. They seemed to have prepared several to finish quickly. The guides were in disarray. I glanced at the clock on the wall and felt a gaze, so I turned to look. The Chinese esper who had entered late was staring at me.

I quickly looked away. Before, I would have frowned and asked what he was looking at, but I didn’t want to give Kim Moohyuk any reason to hold it against me. Wait, what? Give Kim Moohyuk a reason? What does that even mean? We’re not even in a relationship, so why should I care… I was lost in my own conflict when it happened.

“Jungkyu, over here!”

Lee Jungkyu had entered. I wondered why I hadn’t seen him; it seemed he was late due to some business. Lee Jungkyu saw me among the A-rank guides and his expression hardened. It was the first time seeing him since I paired with Kim Moohyuk again in Sergeant Kang’s body, but I wasn’t particularly interested, so I glanced at him and turned away.

However, it seemed Lee Jungkyu didn’t take his eyes off me. My side profile felt intensely scrutinized. How dare a younger person stare at an adult’s face like that. The last time I saw Lee Jungkyu, I had exposed his claim that if he wasn’t paired with Kim Moohyuk, no one else should be. I had also publicly revealed the team’s bullying towards me, so it seemed there weren’t many people welcoming Lee Jungkyu anymore.

It seemed he had failed to maintain his image. It was his own doing, so I didn’t care and just stood there blankly staring ahead. The administrative lieutenant announced that the matching test would begin soon and to prepare. I couldn’t help but worry. If I took the matching test, Kim Moohyuk would likely cause a scene.

Of course, he wouldn’t blame me. The military values hierarchy and obedience, and a mere sergeant couldn’t refuse an administrative captain’s order to take the matching test. Kim Moohyuk would understand that much. My concern wasn’t his anger towards me. I worried that his anger might cause trouble elsewhere, potentially reaching the central command.

Moreover, yesterday’s Kim Moohyuk…

…I couldn’t help but recall last night. The look of disbelief on his face as he looked down at me, and how I pushed him away and ran off… The more I thought about it, the more embarrassing it was.

Why did I run away at this age? I had no good excuse, but sometimes men do things unconsciously when they’re tired. I could have just said that, but I ran away. Even if he didn’t believe me, I could have insisted. Instead, I panicked and fled like a rogue who had harassed an innocent young man. It was truly immature, especially considering the age gap between us. But even adults get flustered sometimes!

While I was digging myself deeper into this hole, I felt another gaze and looked around. It was that Chinese esper again. …Why does he keep staring at me? I quickly looked away. The administrative lieutenant announced again.

“We will first distribute simple profiles of your potential partners. Review them, and based on the esper’s rank, you will have the priority to choose who you want to match with. Guide officers can refuse, but you must conduct at least one matching test.”

Giving priority based on the esper’s rank was absurd. Even though the Esper-Guide Special Forces had been around for a while, discrimination against guides still existed. The military law now protected guides from espers, but it was laughable. Why wouldn’t there be laws protecting espers? The weaker party in this relationship was the guide.

Espers were highly possessive of their guides. They wielded immense power and often saw themselves as superior beings. They couldn’t accept that without guiding, they were weaker than ordinary people. This possessiveness stemmed from that realization. Just like a high-performance machine is useless without a battery, espers couldn’t function without guides.

In other words, with a guide, an esper became omnipotent. So how could they not be possessive? Moreover, some espers began to look down on and disregard guides. Even though they couldn’t function without guides, they acted as if they were doing guides a favor by protecting them, demanding sacrifices.

They belittled and mistreated guides, making them feel that even the smallest gesture from an esper was the greatest gift. It was akin to the process of taming slaves. Numerous crimes against guides occurred within the special forces, which were established to protect civilians. It was only after many guides became victims of espers’ possessiveness that military laws were amended to protect guides.

Even after the laws were amended, subtle discrimination and disregard for guides persisted. However, it was never as blatant as giving high-rank espers the right to choose guides like spoils of war. It was clear how foolish the planner of this event was.

I was so exasperated that I almost sighed. Moreover, showing such blatant disregard for guides in front of Chinese and Japanese espers was a national embarrassment. The new administration was making one foolish decision after another.

The central command was clearly corrupt. Whether they received military support or money, they were thinking of selling special forces guides for profit. They were openly discriminating against guides without any shame, embarrassing the country on the international stage. This time, I didn’t hold back my sigh. I was about to click my tongue when I heard whispers behind me.

“He’s really shameless.”

“Exactly.”

Who are they talking about? Curious about the gossip, I listened in. Kids, let uncle in on the secret.

“Do you think he wants to be here? He’s a pro at seducing espers.”

“He seems excited about his promotion. How did he hold back before?”

…They were talking about me. I lost interest immediately. If I had known they were talking about me, I would have kept hitting the bruise. I was summoned here, not excited to come. I glanced back while pretending to pick my nose, and saw Lee Jungkyu badmouthing me to other guides. He seemed to have a lot of grievances.

Recently, I had no idea how Lee Jungkyu was doing because I was always with Kim Moohyuk, who had no interest in the rumors circulating in the center. Had he left Team 12? The espers there seemed to have tried to protect Lee Jungkyu because he was a guide. Anyway, if I stayed silent when a fight was brought to me, they’d see me as a pushover. I had to respond somehow. I turned around and asked Lee Jungkyu in a regretful tone.

“Gosh, senior, you haven’t discharged yet?”

“…What?”

“I thought you had discharged because you were upset about what happened back then. Guess it wasn’t that upsetting after all.”

After saying that, I turned my head back sharply. I heard Lee Jungkyu cursing behind me. He tried to keep his voice down so it wouldn’t be heard by the administrative officers on the platform. See, this is why you shouldn’t mess with me. Especially someone who survived death and came back with a worse personality.

Just as I stuck out my tongue while looking ahead, I made eye contact again with the Chinese esper who had been staring at me. Why does he keep glaring at me? This time, I didn’t avoid his gaze and stared back intently, but his expression didn’t waver. …What’s with this guy? My eyes were starting to water from dryness, but I didn’t want to lose the staring contest.

Just then, the administrative lieutenant handed me a leaflet as he passed by. As soon as I gratefully took it and looked down, my eyes stung, and I had to close them tightly. Almost cried there. I decided to read the leaflet I was given. On the first page, there was a familiar face. The guy who had been staring at me until a moment ago.

His name… Zhang Chao…? He was a year younger than Moohyuk. Seeing that he was an S-rank, it was clear that the Chinese military was also severely lacking in guides. An S-rank esper would be treated the best there, yet they had to come to this preliminary market because they lacked guides.

I felt sorry for this guy named Zhang Chao. S-rank espers would experience worse guiding depletion symptoms than lower-ranked espers, making it painful to manage with supplements alone. His ability dealt with sparks in the air, specifically causing lightning strikes. Natural elemental abilities were hard to control, requiring high amounts of guiding. It must be tough for him… I thought indifferently. There were profiles of A-rank and B-rank espers behind his, followed by profiles from the Self-Defense Forces.

The Self-Defense Forces also sent an S-rank. His name was Ryoji Endo. He was three years older than Moohyuk. I studied his ID photo and then looked around to find this Ryoji Endo. As soon as I turned my head, I made eye contact with the person in the photo. Whether his name was Ryoji or Yoji, he was staring at me. The Chinese guy next to him was doing the same. And so was Lee Jungkyu behind me. It’s a mess, these three countries of East Asia. Why are you surrounding me like the Bermuda Triangle?

But since these guys wouldn’t answer me, I could only stay still. There were countless other profiles of espers, listing their ranks and abilities. Both countries had sent their highest-ranked espers who hadn’t been paired domestically, indicating the severe shortage of guides. No wonder other countries were requesting the dispatch of guides from Korea.

While espers went to war zones, guides were usually dispatched to other countries’ centers. Since Korea was the only country with a high ratio of guides to espers, others were reaching out through diplomatic channels.

Still, was the situation so urgent that so many had decided to come to Korea? It seemed they were trying to get guiding through matching tests for A-rank and higher espers who managed with supplements in their own countries. …I felt a bit sorry for them and wondered if I should help. Kim Moohyuk would probably nag me about it…

Moreover, the timing wasn’t good. If it weren’t for what happened yesterday, I could have jokingly said, “Let’s help each other out,” but what happened while lying in the same bed as him… It made things complicated. As I was contemplating, the administrative captain spoke into the microphone again.

“Well then, espers who have decided on a guide they wish to match with, please come forward and hand over the paper with the guide’s name and information.”

The espers in Yeonghyeon Hall started moving smoothly, probably because they were all wearing simultaneous interpretation devices. I sighed softly watching them. The administrative officers quickly set up makeshift booths and started receiving papers from the espers, writing down the names of the requested guides.

Even though guides could refuse, the explanation stated that we had to guide at least one, which was troubling. Did Kim Moohyuk see my message or not? Since I hadn’t heard from him, he probably hadn’t had the chance to check his phone. Then I decided I’d just observe and only guide those with the lowest guiding requirements. If he didn’t come, it’d be best to finish quickly without giving him a chance to nag. It didn’t sit well with my professional ethics as a guide to just leave, and there was always the risk of an esper going berserk. Better safe than sorry.

Though there were other guides, the number of espers was relatively too high. As I waited for the list of matched guides to come out, the names of guiding hopefuls appeared on the electronic board on one side of Yeonghyeon Hall.

“What the heck…”

When someone muttered that, I couldn’t help but agree. I had no idea what was going on either.

“Sergeant Kang Hajung… 78 people…?”

I stared blankly at the number under my name on the electronic board. Seventy-eight guiding hopefuls. Even with a large number of espers, there were enough guides for each to take on about eight. But seventy-eight for just me? What criteria did these guys use to request matching? I was dumbfounded and heard murmurs around me. Other guides seemed bewildered too. Then I clearly heard Lee Jungkyu’s voice again.

“That guy loses his mind over espers.”

…Oh, come on. This is driving me crazy. But if I lashed out now like I did earlier, I’d just be seen as unlikeable, so I kept my mouth shut. Instead, I began to act.

“Sniff, how could you say that… Even when I was in Team 12, I did your laundry, including your underwear…”

Lee Jungkyu’s face turned beet red.

“Hey! When did I ever ask you to wash my underwear?”

Deny it all you want. You’ve done worse. I thought indifferently as I forced some tears out, struggling to cry, when the administrative captain warned us to be quiet through the microphone.

I immediately composed myself and stood still. It was good timing since I couldn’t muster real tears anyway. But the immediate problem in front of me was more pressing than dealing with the likes of Lee Jungkyu. Seventy-eight espers started lining up in front of me. Honestly, with my current guiding capacity and skill level, I could recharge over 50% of my guiding gauge if I deployed radiation guiding for over two hours with 78 A-rank or higher espers.

However, doing so would undoubtedly draw attention from the administrative office and central command. People already found it strange that my rank had suddenly increased, and if I did something conspicuous now, I couldn’t predict what might happen. Moreover, handling 78 espers with contact guiding in the matching test was too much. Not because of the guiding amount or technical issues…

“But can someone with a pair do that? Seventy-eight? Isn’t that insane?”

Exactly. It wasn’t morally right either. If it were just a few, I could pass it off as a favor and explain to Kim Moohyuk that I couldn’t refuse, but seventy-eight? He’d definitely accuse me of making seventy-eight mistakes. I had no choice but to request intervention from the administrative captain, who seemed to be watching the situation unfold from the platform.

“Seventy-eight is too many for just me. I’ll exercise my right to refuse.”

The administrative captain frowned. It seemed he didn’t expect me to exercise that right. It was almost laughable how little they thought of me, but they probably didn’t expect a mere sergeant to boldly exercise his right to refuse an administrative order.

The captain’s only mistake was not knowing that this young, handsome face housed the mind of an old man. I shrugged. The administrative officers huddled together, whispering about how to handle this situation and probably discussing a short-term solution to make me accept at least a few more matches. Well, sure… Maybe if I stalled enough, Kim Moohyuk might come to get me, which could peacefully resolve everything. Since it was just a near-miss, Kim Moohyuk wouldn’t be too harsh on me.

But contrary to my hopes, the administrative officers finished their discussion quickly. A glance at the clock suggested they were in a hurry too. They likely wanted to wrap up the matching test before all the paired espers stormed in. The administrative captain spoke again.

“In cases where too many espers want to match with a single guide, we will prioritize based on the espers’ ranks to save time. We ask for the understanding of all espers from both countries.”

With this dry announcement, simultaneous translations burst out in Japanese and Chinese. However, they quieted down soon enough, realizing there was no alternative to addressing the unprecedented situation of seventy-eight people swarming one guide. As time passed, espers quickly lined up in front of other guides. Even so, there were still fifteen espers in front of me. Even after reducing the numbers, it was still too many compared to others. Most guides seemed to be handling around six to eight espers. I raised my hand, thinking I should limit it to that as well.

“I still have too many. It’s about double the number assigned to other guides.”

“Just proceed. Sergeant Kang Hajung, I told you we need your understanding,” the captain warned. Is this guy trying to play a power game? Of course, I have no power, so I should just comply. Damn, if Kim Moohyuk knew about this, both the fifteen in front of me and my own situation would be precarious. I made a mental note of the captain’s face who ignored my refusal. Determined to finish this quickly, I looked at the espers in front of me.

I made eye contact with Zhang Chao, the Chinese guy, and Ryoji Endo, the Japanese guy. So they glared at me earlier and ended up standing in front of me? Usually, A-rank guides have pairs, but many don’t, so why did they specifically choose to stand in front of a paired guide like me? I shook my head, unable to understand.

In the end, I had to conduct the matching test with fifteen espers. Sighing, I approached the machine set up for the test, where the espers lined up and waited for their turn.

If it were Koreans, they would’ve noticed the long line and chosen another guide. Realizing the cultural difference, I examined the setup for the matching test. Perhaps to add some legitimacy, it differed from the usual matching rate measurement at the center.

The temporary test machine required the guide to place their palm on a magnetic plate while holding the esper’s hand with the other. Thinking to get it over with quickly, I called the name of the first esper in line.

“Ji Xuan.”

“It’s Zhixuan,” the esper corrected as he approached. He seemed to know a little Korean. The name was written in English, but it was hard to read. I nodded roughly.

“Sorry about that. You can call me whatever you like too. Call me Kang Sang-jung if you want.”

With that, I placed my palm on the magnetic plate and took the esper’s hand. The result was a 63% match rate. Well, that’s expected. I was known for high compatibility with any esper. Even though the result was predictable, the esper looked at me with awe as I poured guiding energy into him.