Black & Grey Vol. 2 Chapter 6

Jungeol stared at Yoochan without responding. He had no intention of pretending everything was fine with Dahee again.

Recognizing the sternness in Jungeol’s eyes, Yoochan lowered his gaze. Although they were talking about Dahee, it felt like he was hearing about his own future. Yoochan held his dizzy head and let out a shaky breath. The alcohol made his ears feel clogged, and everything around him seemed strangely quiet. Then Jungeol’s calm voice pierced the silence and reached Yoochan’s ears.

“You seem drunk. Should we go inside?”

Feeling like the world was spinning, Yoochan swayed back and forth and shook his head with a smile.

“Just a moment. Let’s stay for three more minutes.”

Yoochan said, sounding regretful. There was something he hadn’t said yet. In fact, he had come all the way to Milan to say it. He felt that if he didn’t say it today, he might never get another chance. Rubbing his flushed face with the back of his hand, Yoochan looked up at Jungeol.

“Hyung.”

Yoochan called out to Jungeol. The sun had set, and the old buildings and cathedral were bathed in a reddish glow. In the middle of the blurred background, there was a man whose outline remained clear. Yoochan, looking at the man who seemed to be the protagonist of this moment, spoke.

“Coming here with you, Hyung…”

The words he wanted to say rose to his throat. He parted his lips, but no sound came out. It wasn’t the confession that scared him. What frightened him more than being rejected by Jungeol was the possibility that he might never see Jungeol again after today.

“Being with you, Hyung…”

Yoochan swallowed hard. Then he looked up at Jungeol with a bright, forced smile and said,

“…I really like you.”

Jungeol’s previously relaxed expression hardened at the pure, unembellished confession. Seeing Jungeol’s eyes widen in surprise, Yoochan felt a pang of sadness in his chest. But he didn’t show his pain. Yoochan grinned and playfully corrected himself.

“No, I mean, I like being here with you. In Milan.”

Leaving Jungeol speechless, Yoochan lowered his head again. Shaking the nearly empty whiskey bottle, he said,

“Oh, there’s some expensive whiskey left. I’ll just drink it.”

This was the end. Yoochan felt that he might never be able to confess again. He downed the remaining whiskey in the bottle and collapsed onto the table.

Thud.

Jungeol silently watched Yoochan, who had passed out on the table. He had known about Yoochan’s feelings and had anticipated a confession at some point. Given Yoochan’s inability to hide his emotions, Jungeol thought he wouldn’t be surprised by anything Yoochan said today.

But Jungeol was taken aback and couldn’t hide his shock. In the eyes that had looked at him just before, he saw a much more serious emotion than the naive and impulsive feelings he had dismissed.

Jungeol sighed as he watched Yoochan sleep on the table. He was certain that the dilemma that had kept him awake the previous night would return tonight. Jungeol called out to Yoochan.

“Baek Yoochan, let’s go inside and sleep.”

Seeing no movement, Jungeol assumed Yoochan was completely drunk. He finished the remaining whiskey in his glass and got up to help Yoochan.

At that moment, Yoochan suddenly sat up. Jungeol, halfway to Yoochan, stopped in an awkward position and stared at him. Yoochan stared back at Jungeol and then raised his hand, beckoning arrogantly with his index finger.

With dilated pupils and a flushed face, Yoochan looked like he was causing a scene. Jungeol hesitated to approach, but Yoochan called out loudly.

“Come here.”

Yoochan beckoned with his finger and spoke in a loud voice.

“Come on… Just come here for a moment. Hurry.”

This time, his tone was like a bully demanding money from elementary school kids. Curious to see how far Yoochan would go, Jungeol slowly stood up and approached him. Yoochan gestured for Jungeol to sit down.

“I have something to say quietly, so sit down.”

Intrigued by what Yoochan had to say, Jungeol knelt in front of him. Even though they were the only two on the terrace, Yoochan acted as if he were about to whisper a secret, placing one hand over Jungeol’s ear and leaning in.

Then, with a smacking sound, their lips met briefly.

“…That’s it. You can go now.”

Jungeol froze, unable to react to the sudden event. Yoochan, who seemed to have enjoyed a delicious dessert, smacked his lips and checked the aftertaste in his mouth. Jungeol looked at Yoochan with an astonished expression. Then, Yoochan called out to someone in a loud voice.

“Ugh… it’s so hot… Turn on the air conditioner on the terrace.”

Yoochan flapped his t-shirt, muttering nonsense, then looked at Jungeol with wide, curious eyes as if seeing him for the first time.

“Why are you sitting there since a while ago, Hyung?”

“…”

“Come here.”

It seemed like he was going to kiss again. When Jungeol frowned, Yoochan said,

“Aren’t you coming?”

“…”

“Huh… then I’ll go.”

As if regretting the brief kiss, Yoochan got up awkwardly from the chair and squatted in front of Jungeol. This time, Yoochan fixed Jungeol’s face with both hands and lowered his head. Jungeol could have avoided it, but he didn’t move.

Once again, the soft, whiskey-flavored lips touched. Yoochan stayed on Jungeol’s lips for a long time.

Surprised by the unexpected soft touch, Jungeol frowned. Jungeol reached out and grabbed Yoochan’s hair at the back of his head tightly, closing his eyes calmly as he gave a childish kiss.

“…Ow.”

Yoochan groaned briefly, as if his hair was being pulled. Jungeol, as if not caring, straightened up and immediately leaned forward. When their separated lips met again, Jungeol impulsively closed his eyes and stuck out his tongue.

A moist tongue slipped into Jungeol’s mouth. Attracted by the unexpectedly sweet tongue, Jungeol, who was half drunk, was also genuinely kissing now. When the soft tongue brushed against a sensitive area, Yoochan grabbed Jungeol’s shoulders uncomfortably and tilted his neck back. Jungeol, instead of letting go of Yoochan, lowered the hand that was holding his hair and firmly supported his nape.

Unlike when he grabbed his hair, his touch was gentle. Jungeol tightly held Yoochan’s waist with his other hand, fixing it in place as Yoochan kept trying to lean back. Jungeol rubbed Yoochan’s palate.

“Mmm.”

Yoochan let out a low moan as his flesh was brushed against. Hearing that sound, Jungeol wanted to go deeper. Once his long-dormant desire boiled over, he couldn’t control himself. Jungeol pulled Yoochan’s arm and tilted his head. As Jungeol’s tongue dug deep into Yoochan’s mouth, Yoochan, who was distressed by the unfamiliar feeling of his mouth being ravaged, scrunched up his eyes and separated his lips.

“Phew…”

When the kiss ended, Jungeol’s eyelids, which had been closed, slowly opened with regret. Yoochan was breathing roughly with sleepy eyes.

“I’m going to die from suffocation.”

Yoochan, who was gasping for air as if he had just come back to life, frowned and gripped his forehead.

“Damn… I’m dizzy… Why am I so dizzy…”

“…”

“I’ll go in first.”

Yoochan patted Jungeol’s shoulder as if he were a friend and said so, then slowly walked towards the terrace. Yoochan, who was staggering as if there was no wind, leaned his head against the bathroom door attached to the room and sighed.

The world seemed to be spinning around. Thinking that he had to hold onto something, Yoochan soon found Jungeol, who had come closer and was looking down at him from the side, and smiled.

“Hyung, come here for a second.”

Jungeol stood still without moving. With a slightly dissatisfied and regretful look in his eyes, Jungeol stared silently at Yoochan. Yoochan squinted his eyes with a puzzled expression, then, as if there was nothing he could do, stumbled towards Jungeol.

Seeing Jungeol standing crookedly next to the bed, Yoochan breathed out long, as if his stomach was churning from the alcohol, and then playfully grabbed Jungeol’s cheek and said,

“Lend me your ear, Hyung. I have something to tell you.”

Jungeol narrowed his eyes and silently stared at Yoochan. Yoochan wrapped his heavy arm around Jungeol’s waist and said,

“Why do you say I’m reckless?”

Yoochan added with a pout, as if he was upset.

“Even if it seems reckless, can’t you trust me and date me?”

Without noticing that Jungeol was grinding his teeth, Yoochan closed his eyes and mumbled playfully.

“…I really like Hyung…”

Just as Yoochan said that and lifted his head to kiss Jungeol, a large hand grabbed his collar, pulling Yoochan backward in an instant. As soon as Yoochan realized it, their lips collided.

“Ah… tongue…”

His lower lip was sucked hard, and their hardened lower bodies pressed together. Yoochan groaned at the chilling sensation he had never experienced before.

“Mmm…”

When Yoochan tried to pull away, the grip on his collar tightened. Yoochan coughed slightly. Jungeol’s gaze fell on the bed as he continued to delve into the sensitive area beneath Yoochan’s tongue. Jungeol pushed Yoochan backward, propping himself up on the bed with his knees. Yoochan’s body, which had been caught between the bed and Jungeol, naturally fell over and was soon lying on the bed.

“Ugh… Ah…”

Yoochan was completely out of his mind from the continuous rough kiss. Yoochan barely accepted Jungeol, who was coming at him relentlessly, and belatedly wrapped his arms around Jungeol’s shoulders, which were flailing about. Yoochan’s waist was completely exposed because of his shirt, which had been pulled up by the movement of his arms. Jungeol, who was supporting himself on the bed, quickly reached inside Yoochan’s shirt.

A familiar, thrilling excitement came over him from the scalding heat. Feeling Yoochan’s firm flesh, Jungeol parted Yoochan’s legs with his knees and pressed his body against him in earnest. Then, Yoochan, for some reason, patted Jungeol’s shoulder, which he had been gripping tightly. Jungeol, who had been engrossed in the kiss, opened his eyes with a tantalizing gaze and looked at Yoochan.

As if telling him to take a break, Yoochan patted Jungeol’s shoulder again. Jungeol, who had put his hand under Yoochan’s armpit and was caressing his skin, parted his lips and looked at Yoochan, and Yoochan exhaled and said.

“Ugh… I think I’m going to die because you keep moving in my mouth…”

Yoochan said that, then ignored the heated Jungeol and turned sideways as if he had finished everything, muttering.

“I can’t breathe… Ah… my head is going to explode… Ha… Hoo…”

Yoochan, who was breathing through his slightly parted lips, soon stopped moving as if he had fainted. Jungeol, who was on top of Yoochan, frowned and gently tapped Yoochan’s cheek to wake him up.

“Baek Yoochan.”

“…”

“Yoochan.”

“…Yes?”

As if he had really fallen asleep, Yoochan shuddered and replied. Looking down at Yoochan’s face, which was flushed red, Jungeol said seriously.

“Asleep?”

As if stimulated by the heavy voice even in his sleep, Yoochan shook his head without even opening his eyes.

“No. I’m not asleep.”

Jungeol pulled his lips and leaned in to whisper, as if relieved.

“Continue?”

As if enjoying the feeling of the kiss, Yoochan nodded obediently, pursing his lips. Jungeol immediately leaned forward and kissed Yoochan’s lips. And exactly three seconds later, he heard Yoochan snoring.

“…Ha.”

Jungeol sighed helplessly and rested his forehead on Yoochan’s chest.

It had been a long time since he had done something like this because he was obsessed with tattoos. After impulsively kissing him, it was hard to control himself. After watching Yoochan sleep for a while, Jungeol looked at his own body, which still didn’t react despite seeing Yoochan snoring. Jungeol looked dumbfounded, then helplessly covered Yoochan with a blanket and went out to the living room.

Just as his aroused desire, which had been stimulated by the sudden encounter, was finally subsiding, the door to the room where Yoochan was sleeping swung open.

Jungeol, who was resting on the sofa, frowned at Yoochan’s appearance, whose eyes were still blurry as if he was still drunk. He was worried that Yoochan would disturb people again with some drunken nonsense and then fall asleep alone.

As Jungeol expected, Yoochan, who still seemed to be drunk, slowly walked out to the living room, leaning against the wall, and squatted in front of the sofa, looking up at Jungeol.

“Why.”

Jungeol asked first. Yoochan replied with a sleepy expression.

“Hyung, why are you sleeping outside?”

Jungeol stared at Yoochan, resting his chin on the armrest of the sofa, as if he had lost his words. Yoochan, who didn’t realize Jungeol’s unsatisfied desire, pulled Jungeol’s arm and said.

“Come inside and sleep. I won’t touch you.”

Jungeol, who had already been touched by Yoochan several times, looked at Yoochan with resigned eyes and nodded.

“Sleep first.”

“Why? Let’s sleep together now.”

Jungeol closed his mouth. Yoochan rubbed his temples as if his head ached and added,

“If I’m asleep, you’ll come in later, right?”

Yoochan asked, squinting his eyes as if he was disappointed. When Jungeol nodded casually, Yoochan patted Jungeol’s thigh, as if understanding, and staggered back into the room.

Jungeol exhaled softly and got up. Of course, he didn’t keep his promise to go back in. He didn’t have the confidence to not do anything to Yoochan until the sun came up. Jungeol went to his empty room, took out his camera bag, and went out without a word to Yoochan.

The next day, Jungeol woke up to a rustling sound. It seemed like he had closed his eyes for a moment, but the sun had risen and light was streaming into the living room. It was natural since he had been out all night and had only returned almost at dawn.

Jungeol, who was tossing and turning on the sofa, found the blanket he was covering himself with and sat up. Yoochan must have covered him. Jungeol put the blanket in the corner of the sofa and rested his forehead on his elbows, propping his chin up. His forehead throbbed. Since he hadn’t drunk much alcohol, it was probably because he hadn’t slept properly for almost four days.

“Are you tired from not sleeping?”

Jungeol looked up at the refreshing voice. Yoochan, who seemed to have slept well, came out of the kitchen with a cheerful expression and added playfully,

“So, don’t look at your phone at night and go to bed early. You’re not a child. Do you know how long Hyung has been sleeping? It’s already twelve o’clock. We have to meet our teacher.”

Jungeol frowned and looked up at Yoochan. The words, “Do you know why you can’t sleep?” were right at the tip of his tongue, but Jungeol swallowed his harsh words as he looked at the sandwich Yoochan handed him.

Since they had to go to the airport to catch their flight, they decided to have a quick lunch with the sandwich Yoochan had bought. Jungeol took a bite of the sandwich and looked at Yoochan. He looked completely sober, relaxed, and comfortable.

“Baek Yoochan.”

“Yes?”

Yoochan, with his cheeks puffed up from stuffing the sandwich into his mouth, looked up and replied. Jungeol asked directly,

“How far back can you remember from yesterday?”

Yoochan stared blankly at Jungeol and rubbed his eyebrows.

“Yesterday?”

Yoochan seemed to have a hard time remembering and rolled his eyes, saying,

“…I remember going out to the terrace and drinking. I remember playing truth or dare… I got drunk while doing that. We talked about the lion tattoo… I asked about Dahee Noona…”

As if he couldn’t remember what happened after that, Yoochan tilted his head.

“Wow, I guess I blacked out suddenly. I have no idea when I went into the room. I remember waking up in the middle of the night to pee and going out to the living room after seeing that Hyung wasn’t there.”

It seemed like there was a gap in his memory. Jungeol quietly chewed on his sandwich and looked at Yoochan. With an expression as if he had something to say, Yoochan frowned and asked worriedly,

“Why are you asking about my memory? Did I do something wrong yesterday?”

Jungeol stared intently at Yoochan’s eyes, then shook his head. Yoochan tilted his head, suspicious of Jungeol’s behavior, and started eating his sandwich again.

In the midst of the strange tension, sauce got on Jungeol’s hand. As Jungeol turned around to go to the sink to wash his hands, Yoochan’s face turned pale very quickly. The events of the previous night came back to him one by one.

Yoochan couldn’t even think about chewing his food and covered his face with his hands. It was a problem that he had subtly confessed to Jungeol under the guise of the Milan scenery, but more than anything, he remembered Jungeol’s stiff expression at his confession. Yoochan wanted to die. No matter how good the atmosphere was and how much he relied on the power of alcohol, it was a reckless thing he had done.

Yoochan looked at Jungeol, who was sitting back down and eating his sandwich, and swallowed hard. He had to pretend he didn’t know. The confession he made last night was just nonsense he had said while drunk, and he had to pretend he didn’t like anyone and didn’t remember anything.

He probably wouldn’t be able to confess to Jungeol anymore. After clearly hearing Jungeol’s words about not contacting Dahee after covering things up, he didn’t have the courage to confess. As long as he didn’t want to cut ties with Jungeol, he wouldn’t say the words “I like you” again. No, more than that, he had to make it clear that he didn’t like Jungeol.

It was terribly bitter when he thought it was really over. Seeing Yoochan’s gloomy expression, Jungeol asked,

“What are you thinking about?”

When Yoochan made eye contact with Jungeol, he shook his head awkwardly and quenched his parched throat with a carbonated drink. Fortunately, Jungeol didn’t ask any further.

After finishing the rest of the sandwich in one bite, Yoochan suddenly wondered how he had returned to his room after making the clumsy confession and taking the last drink. When Jungeol asked for a cup, Yoochan came to his senses.

After a brief visit to Jungeol’s mentor’s house, the two headed to the airport.

“What do you want to drink?” Jungeol asked.

Yoochan declined, not feeling like having a snack. His mood seemed even more subdued than before lunch.

Puzzled, Jungeol leaned towards Yoochan to ask why after the plane took off. However, Yoochan soon said he was sleepy, reclined his seat, and fell asleep. Jungeol looked suspiciously at Yoochan, who had turned his back on him, before eventually raising the partition.

Even on the way back to the officetel in Jungeol’s car after arriving at Incheon Airport, Yoochan was unusually quiet. He didn’t seem sulky or angry, though. When Jungeol suggested having dinner, Yoochan nodded enthusiastically and finished two bowls of rice.

However, he seemed slightly less energetic and spoke less than usual. Jungeol found this very, extremely concerning.

“Goodbye, Hyung.”

After parking the car in the officetel garage, they rode the elevator up together, and Yoochan spoke. Without realizing it, Jungeol asked if Yoochan wasn’t going to stop by the shop. Not recognizing the slight hint of disappointment in his own voice, Yoochan shook his head and turned away.

Surprised by Yoochan’s distinctly different attitude from the previous day, Jungeol watched as the elevator door closed with Yoochan inside. Reaching for the button to follow him, Jungeol was interrupted by a message from Manager, forcing him to head to the shop.

While Jungeol and Manager were adjusting the backlog of appointments, his phone buzzed several times. After sending Manager to the consultation room, Jungeol checked his phone. There were messages from Yoochan.

Yoochan

Hyung, I suddenly remembered.

Yesterday during the truth game, you asked if I was gay.

Did you ask because you thought I might like you?

If that’s what you were thinking, don’t misunderstand, because it’s not true, haha.

I just like you as a hyung. I said I wanted us to be like brothers, haha.

Anyway, the trip to Milan was fun. See you later, Hyung, haha.

Jungeol frowned at the irritating ‘haha’ at the end of each sentence. Just then, Yoochan’s profile picture changed. Jungeol, who usually didn’t care about others changing their profile pictures, found himself clicking on it and zooming in.

It was an image he seemed to have found online. Beneath the title “10 Ways to Give Up on Unrequited Love,” there were a series of sentences listed in order.

1. Delete their number.
2. Delete their photos.

Finding the text childish, Jungeol didn’t read the rest. Meanwhile, Yoochan’s profile also had music added. It was a popular breakup song, and Jungeol knew the lyrics.

Beneath his furrowed brows, Jungeol’s dissatisfied gaze finally noticed the text under the picture. It was Yoochan’s status message.

Giving up. How do you do that?

Despite the sentence being awkward to read, Jungeol didn’t laugh. He stared intently at the word “giving up” in Yoochan’s status message with a stern expression.

* * *

Jungeol gave a large ice cube to Gaang, who was panting on the floor, and then stepped out onto the balcony.

As he habitually lit a cigarette, Manager slightly opened the balcony door and suggested they go out for dinner. When Jungeol agreed, Manager asked,

“What time is Yoochan coming?”

Manager seemed to assume that Jungeol would know Yoochan’s schedule. Jungeol, with a cigarette in his mouth, raised his eyebrows as if he didn’t know. Manager tilted her head and went back inside.

Jungeol exhaled smoke and checked his watch.

It had been almost 24 hours since they returned from Milan, and there had been no contact from Yoochan. While it was understandable that Yoochan might have been tired from the long flight yesterday, it was suspicious that there hadn’t been a single text message today.

Yoochan usually texted as soon as he woke up, asking if Jungeol was awake, and continued to stay in touch until he went to bed around 10 or 11 PM. Sometimes, he even called from school if he was bored.

Even on busy days, Yoochan always contacted Jungeol before dinner, asking what he wanted to eat and suggesting menu options. He made sure to visit the shop when it wouldn’t interfere with Jungeol’s work. Today, there had been no such contact.

Feeling uneasy, Jungeol tapped his cigarette into the ashtray and turned on his phone. Yoochan’s name, usually at the top of his chat list, had dropped far down.

Jungeol considered sending a text but decided to call instead. He heard a message saying the phone was turned off. Jungeol frowned deeply at his phone. Even if Yoochan didn’t remember what happened on the last day in Milan due to being drunk, his sudden change in behavior was hard to understand.

Just as Jungeol wondered if Yoochan might remember what happened in Milan, he recalled Yoochan’s awkward kiss and frowned, deep in thought.

Yoochan had boldly approached him, only to deliver an awkward kiss that left Jungeol bewildered.

But what was even more bewildering was his own reaction. Instead of pushing Yoochan away, Jungeol had responded even more aggressively. Remembering this, Jungeol rubbed his forehead as if he had a headache.

He had no intention of dating anyone for the time being, especially not someone who had just graduated high school.

Yet, he found Yoochan’s inability to hide his feelings endearing and couldn’t bring himself to be cold and push him away like he had with Dahee. Yoochan’s sincere confession had shaken his resolve, and his sweet lips had broken it.

If Yoochan had been a little less drunk, things might have gone further. Jungeol had instinctively known he could be with a man, but he hadn’t realized how excited he would get. His guard down, he had been easily swept along.

Jungeol stubbed out his cigarette and narrowed his eyes. It seemed he had been thoroughly enchanted in Milan. Yoochan’s cautious advances, his drunken confession, and his attempt to act nonchalant afterward had either made Jungeol feel sorry for him or…

No matter what excuses he made, Jungeol sighed and leaned on the railing. As he thought about the kiss, he remembered Yoochan’s soft lips. The reason was clear. That day, Yoochan had been more charming and bold than usual, and his playful kiss hadn’t been bad. To be honest, it had been good.

When Yoochan’s lips touched his the second time, Jungeol had suddenly thought, “I want to.” That was it. No long explanation was needed. Beyond finding Yoochan cute or lovable as a younger brother, he had been genuinely attracted to him in that moment.

Thinking about Yoochan lying on the bed with a pleased expression after their kiss, Jungeol felt the excitement from that moment return. He recalled the text Yoochan had sent the previous evening.

Yoochan: I just like you as my hyung.

One of the many texts Yoochan had sent without giving Jungeol a chance to respond particularly irritated him. The word “giving up” in Yoochan’s status message also bothered him. While Jungeol was feeling confused, Yoochan seemed to have decided to move on.

Jungeol felt frustrated by the lack of contact from Yoochan. Finally, he grabbed his phone and stepped outside, only to find Yoochan standing at the counter. Yoochan looked surprised to see Jungeol, then awkwardly smiled and waved.

“Hyung! I’m here. Did you smoke again? If you smoke before eating, the food might taste like cigarettes.”

Jungeol approached slowly without responding. He was surprisingly happy to see Yoochan after just 24 hours. As he was about to speak, Manager approached, suggesting they go out for dinner. As Yoochan followed the staff outside, Jungeol asked,

“Did you turn off your phone?”

Yoochan turned around, eyes wide.

“My phone probably died. I tried charging it at the judo gym, but the outlets there are all weird. It kept charging and then stopping… But why? Did you call me?”

Seeing the earnest look in Yoochan’s eyes, it didn’t seem like he was lying. When Jungeol shook his head, indicating it was nothing, Yoochan curiously looked at him before casually striking up a conversation with Taeho, who was walking ahead.

Jungeol found this subtly strange. Whenever they ate or traveled with the staff, Yoochan would always stick close to Jungeol, chattering non-stop.

As Jungeol frowned in discontent at the changed situation, Yoochan glanced back. Yoochan was sneaking glances at Jungeol’s expression.

Jungeol’s furrowed brows relaxed. With a plan forming in his mind, he narrowed his eyes.

That evening’s dinner menu was pork. Initially, Yoochan held the tongs, but he seemed distracted while grilling, burning several pieces, so Taeho ended up taking over.

Once the meat was cooked to a perfect degree, Taeho and Manager started eating from the grill. Yoochan also reached for the meat with his chopsticks. However, the largest and perfectly cooked piece was placed on Yoochan’s plate by someone. Yoochan looked up in surprise.

Taeho and Manager, sitting across, stared at Jungeol in shock. Only Jungeol remained calm, propping his chin on his hand as if waiting to see how Yoochan would react. Yoochan, feeling embarrassed, glanced at Manager and Taeho before speaking to Jungeol.

“Thanks for the food, Hyung.”

Feeling the weight of their stares, Yoochan wrapped the meat in a lettuce leaf and ate it. Seeing Yoochan eat silently, Jungeol frowned, puzzled. He recalled Yoochan’s profile status message.

‘Giving up?’

As Jungeol pondered that word, he noticed Yoochan sneaking glances at him while chewing the meat. Yoochan’s anxious and longing gaze made Jungeol’s frown disappear.

‘…That can’t be it.’

“By the way, Yoochan.”

At that moment, Taeho seemed to remember something and spoke to Yoochan.

“What does that thing on your Facebook mean? Did you have a girlfriend?”

“Huh? What did I write?”

Curious, Manager looked at Yoochan as well. Yoochan’s face turned ashen as he turned to Taeho, who struggled to recall the message.

“I didn’t get a good look because I was busy, but it said something like ‘When you’re truly sad, it’s not tears from your eyes but blood from your heart’ or something like that….”

“Oh, come on…! Hyung, why would you blurt that out!”

Yoochan stretched across the table to cover Taeho’s mouth, speaking in a huff. Taeho raised his hands in surrender, and Yoochan, fuming, sat back down and glanced at Jungeol.

Too embarrassed to look directly, Yoochan peeked at Jungeol from the corner of his eye before lowering his head and focusing on his food. Jungeol’s expression softened as he saw Yoochan’s dejected demeanor. He didn’t know why it pleased him to realize Yoochan hadn’t moved on from his feelings.

Jungeol wanted to have a quiet conversation with Yoochan. They needed to discuss their changed dynamic since Milan. But as soon as they reached their neighborhood, Yoochan hastily said goodbye and fled somewhere, as if being chased.

Jungeol called immediately, but Yoochan didn’t answer. Since Yoochan wasn’t heading to his officetel, Jungeol couldn’t find him. Frowning, Jungeol sent Yoochan a text. The number 1 next to the message disappeared quickly. There was no reply.

At that moment, Yoochan, having taken a roundabout way to avoid Jungeol and returned home, lay under his blanket, glaring at his phone.

Hiding his feelings seemed better than not seeing Jungeol at all. Yoochan enjoyed their dinners and chats, pretending not to like Jungeol, but Jungeol’s behavior today was too odd. When Jungeol placed the meat on his plate, Yoochan was so shocked he almost hiccuped.

Barely getting through the meal, Yoochan then received a call from Jungeol. Ignoring it, he received a text message. Yoochan wore a desperate expression as if being chased by a ghost. He wondered if Jungeol was going to confront him about his confession in Milan.

Jo Sunja

Baek Yoochan, come down. Let’s talk.

Seeing no way to avoid it, Yoochan sighed deeply and pressed the call button, gazing sadly at his mother’s name and Jungeol’s message he had set up to avoid his friends. As soon as the call connected, Yoochan spoke quickly.

“Hyung, what time do you finish work today? I’ll come to the shop. I have something to tell you. It’s important.”

At 10:30 PM, when Jungeol’s last task was finished, Yoochan left his house. It was late for Yoochan, who usually slept early, but he forced himself to stay awake and took the elevator.

As the numbers on the elevator panel decreased from 14, Yoochan anxiously banged his head against the wall. Imagining why Jungeol wanted to meet him suddenly made him nervous.

Jungeol’s behavior of giving Yoochan meat today was suspicious. Jungeol had never done that for anyone, including Yoochan. When Yoochan realized that Jungeol was watching him intently after placing the meat on his plate, he felt a chill run down his spine. It was clearly a deliberate action and a test.

As the elevator doors opened, Yoochan’s eyes widened in realization.

He thought Jungeol was testing him to see if he remembered his confession. Yoochan had remembered most of their conversation during the truth game but claimed not to remember the confession, which naturally raised suspicion.

Yoochan decided to change his approach as he walked slowly towards the shop. He couldn’t keep pretending not to remember forever. If Jungeol brought up the confession first, his denial would be pointless.

It seemed better to bring it up himself. With a determined expression, Yoochan entered the shop. He expected Taeho or Manager to be there, but the shop was empty.

As he walked further in, he heard someone washing their hands in the bathroom. Yoochan sat on the sofa, trying to compose his expression, as Jungeol came out of the bathroom, drying his face with a towel.

“Hyung, I’m here.”

Yoochan stood up from the sofa and greeted him. Jungeol, his face still damp from washing, looked at Yoochan and then placed the towel in the laundry basket before approaching.

The closer Jungeol got without responding, the more Yoochan’s heart felt like it would burst. He feared Jungeol would push him away harshly, just as he had done with Dahee. Unlike Dahee, Yoochan wasn’t a mentee, so Jungeol might cut ties without looking back.

Determined not to let Jungeol know he liked him, Yoochan frowned and followed Jungeol to the balcony.

Click.

Jungeol lit a cigarette and gestured to the sofa for Yoochan to sit.

“Sit.”

“…Yes.”

Yoochan sat with his knees together and his hands neatly on his lap, like a student being scolded by the principal.

Jungeol leaned against the window frame, exhaling smoke as he looked down at Yoochan. Unable to meet his eyes, Yoochan lowered his gaze and saw Jungeol’s clenched fist.

Having just finished work, Jungeol’s fingers seemed numb, and he repeatedly clenched and unclenched his fist slowly. Yoochan, secretly thrilled, remembered how Jungeol had mimicked his hand movements at the barbecue restaurant. As Yoochan reminisced, Jungeol spoke first.

“Tell me the truth. How much do you remember?”

Startled by the direct question, Yoochan looked up. Jungeol, with a cigarette in his mouth, calmly added,

“On the last day in Milan.”

Jungeol’s piercing gaze made Yoochan’s chin tremble. Thinking it would be the end if he got caught, Yoochan awkwardly raised one corner of his mouth, then sheepishly lowered it when he saw Jungeol’s serious expression.

“…Everything.”

“Everything?”

Jungeol raised an eyebrow in surprise. Yoochan nodded. Jungeol, frowning in confusion, asked,

“Did your attitude change because you regret it?”

Of course, he regretted the confession he couldn’t handle. Yoochan, desperately trying to explain, said,

“Well, yeah… I regret it. It’s embarrassing. I was drunk and acted foolishly towards you, Hyung. I usually have bad drunken habits. I don’t like drinking because I say things I don’t mean and do strange things when I’m drunk.”

It was a blatant lie. Yoochan often got into trouble because he spoke his true feelings when drunk.

“Drunken habits, huh.”

Jungeol muttered, sounding disappointed. Yoochan seized the moment and confidently said,

“Of course, it was just drunken behavior! You seemed convinced I was gay because of the truth game, but that’s just my personal issue. It has nothing to do with you, Hyung. I don’t like you that way. I mean, I like you, but not in that way. Really.”

The conversation seemed to be going smoothly. Yoochan’s face brightened as he chatted like usual, but Jungeol’s expression grew darker. Deep in thought, Jungeol forgot to tap his cigarette, and the ash fell in a long clump.

“Careful!”

Yoochan, more startled than Jungeol, pulled Jungeol’s sweatshirt to prevent the ash from falling on him.

“That was close. Are you okay?”

Jungeol glanced down, watching Yoochan earnestly brush off the ash from his clothes. Yoochan, oblivious to Jungeol’s intense gaze, continued chatting while cleaning his clothes.

“Anyway, everything I did that day was just drunken behavior, so don’t worry about it. It never happened. Got it? I’ll act normal, so you act normal too. If there are any unpleasant memories, just forget them.”

Satisfied that he had removed all the ash, Yoochan straightened up and sat back on the sofa. Jungeol, feeling like he had been stuck in a humid place all day, stubbed out his tasteless cigarette in the ashtray and muttered,

“That’s too bad. I liked it.”

Just then, Jungeol’s phone rang loudly. Yoochan, who hadn’t heard Jungeol’s last words clearly, widened his eyes as Jungeol answered the call.

“Yeah, what?”

It was Manager on the other end of the line, talking about work. As the conversation dragged on, Yoochan, waiting impatiently, looked at his watch. He wanted to chat more with Jungeol, but it was getting late, so he decided to leave for the sake of Jungeol’s sleep.

Yoochan waved his hand to get Jungeol’s attention and pointed at the ceiling, indicating he was leaving. Jungeol, narrowing his eyes, didn’t respond. Thinking Jungeol was busy with the call, Yoochan cautiously left.

As soon as he stepped out onto the balcony, Yoochan clenched his fist in triumph. He felt proud of how well he had hidden his feelings, maintaining a confident demeanor and providing a smooth explanation. Smiling and shadowboxing in the air, Yoochan suddenly looked back and froze when he saw Jungeol watching him from the balcony, still on the phone.

“……”

Jungeol, having watched Yoochan walking away, dancing or boxing, removed the phone from his ear and said,

“You’ll be able to get your tattoo soon.”

It seemed someone had canceled their appointment. Delighted at the prospect of finally getting his tattoo from Jungeol, Yoochan forgot his embarrassment and smiled broadly.

* * *

Yoochan left home earlier than usual and stood in front of a newly opened cake shop near his officetel, fiddling with his phone. The shop came highly recommended by the Noonas at his judo gym. With his morning classes canceled, Yoochan wanted to buy a snack for Jungeol.

However, he wasn’t sure if Jungeol liked cake or sweet things. While Jungeol occasionally ate the candy and sweets Yoochan gave him, Yoochan had never seen him eat them on his own. Yoochan stood outside the shop for ten minutes, staring at the chat window. He could simply ask Jungeol about his cake preferences, but the need to hide his feelings prevented him from sending the message.

After drafting and redrafting the message, Yoochan finally sent it after thirty minutes. The key was to ask about Jungeol’s taste while appearing as uninterested and casual as possible.

Yoochan

Hyung Do you like cake?

You know there’s a new cake shop across the street I was just passing by and thought I’d get some for you guys

I heard it’s good

If you’re not interested, never mind

Nervously, Yoochan waited for about five minutes before Jungeol replied.

Jungeol: Sure. Buy it. I’ll send you the money now.

Yoochan: Don’t send the money. I’ll buy it. It’s not that expensive. If you send money, I’ll be really upset. I’m not kidding.

Jungeol: Okay.

Relieved that Jungeol agreed, Yoochan replied,

Yoochan: So, what do you want? They have basic whipped cream cake, strawberry, blueberry, chocolate brownie, macarons, cheese, and more.

As Yoochan eagerly waited to see what kind of dessert Jungeol liked, he frowned at Jungeol’s response.

Jungeol: Lee Taeho likes chocolate, Min Yesul likes cheese.

Yoochan wasn’t interested in Taeho or Manager’s preferences. He quickly asked again,

Yoochan: What about you, Hyung? What do you like? Is there anything you want from the list? Or should I get something else?

As Yoochan glared at his phone, Jungeol replied,

Jungeol: Basic.

Finally satisfied, Yoochan entered the shop and proudly bought a whole whipped cream cake for Jungeol, as well as chocolate and cheese cakes for Taeho and Yesul, and a blueberry cake for himself. He headed to the shop with an armful of cakes.

“Wow. Yoochan, how many did you buy?”

Manager’s eyes widened as Yoochan arrived at the shop with all the cakes. The shop staff and customers who had been smoking on the balcony gathered around. As Yoochan opened the cake boxes and handed out forks, he looked around for Jungeol. Manager, as if remembering something, spoke up.

“Yoochan, did you hear from Oppa that there’s an opening?”

“Huh? Oh! I heard yesterday. There’s an opening the day after tomorrow morning, right?”

Giving up on finding Jungeol, Yoochan sat across from Manager and said,

“So, am I getting it done this week?”

“There are some clients who want to move their appointments up. If you’re okay with it, can we move their appointments up and fit you into their slots?”

“As long as it’s before I go to the army, I don’t mind.”

Manager, pleased with Yoochan’s enthusiastic response, smiled and took a bite of the basic whipped cream cake with a fork.

“You’ve decided on the design with Oppa, right?”

“Yes, we’re going with a leopard.”

“A leopard is a good choice. Oppa is really good at realistic animal tattoos. Have you decided on the eye color? If you do it in black and gray and just add blue to the eyes, it would look really pretty.”

Taking a bite of the cake, Manager’s eyes widened in admiration.

“This is really good. Where did you get it?”

“From the shop in front…”

“Is it good? I need to try it too.”

Ignoring the chocolate cake Yoochan had bought for him, Taeho reached for the whipped cream cake. Following Manager’s lead, everyone started taking large pieces of the basic whipped cream cake, despite there being four cakes. Yoochan’s eyes widened as he watched the whipped cream cake quickly disappear. He had bought it specifically for Jungeol, but at this rate, it would be gone soon.

Yoochan carefully cut a clean piece from the untouched part of the cake and placed it on a clean plate.

Just then, Jungeol came out after finishing his morning work. Yoochan, holding the plate with a brightened face, noticed the people following Jungeol.

“The friend who came with me kept asking for your number. I told them you were uncomfortable, but they kept insisting.”

One of the clients said, and a woman who seemed to be with them agreed.

“Don’t feel pressured. My friend is a good person. They also do art, so you’ll have a lot to talk about.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Jungeol replied politely with a light smile. Watching the clients joke and tease Jungeol, Yoochan felt conflicted. When Jungeol’s eyes met his, Yoochan forced a bright smile and offered the cake.

When Jungeol and the staff had eaten about two-thirds of the cake, Yoochan left the shop for his afternoon class. Throughout his classes, Yoochan couldn’t stop worrying about whether Jungeol would go on the blind date.

The worry continued at the judo gym. During a grappling match, Yoochan suddenly found himself on the floor. His opponent, surprised, asked,

“Yoochan, are you okay? Why were you just standing there?”

Yoochan’s little toe throbbed. It seemed he had stubbed it during the match. His opponent examined Yoochan’s toe. It hurt, but fortunately, it didn’t seem broken.

“I think I just twisted it. I’m fine.”

Reassuring the assistant manager who had rushed over, Yoochan said he would leave early.

After catching a taxi, Yoochan wiggled his toe inside his shoe. It hurt more than before. He wanted to have dinner with Jungeol but decided it was best not to walk today. Yoochan texted Jungeol first.

Yoochan: Hyung, I twisted my toe, so I need to rest for a day. I’ll have dinner at home. See you tomorrow evening.

As Yoochan leaned back in his seat to relax, his phone rang loudly. It was Jungeol.

“Hyung?”

Yoochan answered urgently, and the sound of a machine stopped as Jungeol’s voice came through.

[Where are you?]

“I’m on my way home, almost there. Why?”

[How did you hurt your toe so badly that you can’t eat?]

Yoochan, surprised that Jungeol had called about his toe, widened his eyes and replied.