The World of Contrasts Vol. 5 Chapter 5

“Ha-ut… Ah, he-heuk…!”

Finally, the clear liquid dripping down stopped, and Jaemin collapsed onto the bed, his legs completely drained of strength.

Daeyoung, still not having withdrawn his cock, held him from behind and lay down with him. Was he planning to sleep while still inside? Just when he thought it didn’t matter…

“……!”

Jaemin’s eyes shot open as he felt something hot spreading inside him. It was like accidentally dipping into a hot spring too hot for him; his temperature rose, and his inner walls felt like they were burning.

“You…”

Jaemin’s eyes twisted in disbelief as he turned his head sharply. However, there was no sign of regret on the face of the one who had urinated inside him.

…He’s crazy, Seol Daeyoung.

He tried to kick him away and get up, but it was impossible. Suddenly, his whole body felt heavy and languid like a waterlogged quilt, and sleep overwhelmed him. He wanted to rush to the bathroom, but he couldn’t even move a finger. Daeyoung’s pheromones now felt like a potent sleeping pill. Jaemin succumbed to a deep sleep due to the lethargy.

“Ha…”

Daeyoung let out a long breath as he hugged the sleeping Jaemin. Before his fluids completely disappeared from inside Jaemin’s body, they would meet again.

When Jaemin woke up to the winter sunlight pricking his eyes, Daeyoung was gone. Seeing the check on the old desk, Jaemin twisted his lips and buried his flushed face in the sheets.

Why did he remember Seol Daeyoung, who once appeared at the Pyeongchang-dong mansion with roses?

Even knowing that the one who gave him the bouquet was gone, his breath was soaked with old longing. Jaemin took a deep breath, his shoulders shaking. Before the last scent of Seol Daeyoung vanished.

“Huh-uk…”

Hearing the faint, sorrowful sobbing sound from outside the room, Daeyoung leaned against the wall, staring ahead. He wanted to kick the door open right then and make Jaemin confront his emotions.

But it wasn’t time yet.

His eyes, suppressing the impulse, shone quietly.

Jang Jaemin had to realize his feelings himself and return to him. His partner seemed wild at first glance but could be more straightforward than anyone once he decided. Listening to the sobs of a loved one was painful, but it was better than never seeing him again.

The old elevator door opened with a rattling noise. Seonho, who had come up from another room after receiving Daeyoung’s message, appeared.

“Long time no…”

Daeyoung brought a finger to his lips, and Seonho shut his mouth. Only then did he notice the faint sobbing in the quiet hallway, his forehead wrinkling.

“What happened?”

Seonho asked with contempt while looking at Daeyoung’s disheveled shirt. Daeyoung twisted his lips and whispered lowly.

“Can’t you judge the situation even after seeing it firsthand?”

“What did you do to Jaemin?”

Facing Seonho, who was glaring at him with clenched fists, Daeyoung stated the fact.

“I made him cry longing for the day he left.”

As expected, Seonho stood frozen, and Daeyoung approached, placing a hand on his shoulder. He bowed his head slightly and whispered.

“I have one question.”

“……”

“When are you going to pay for killing Jang Jaemin’s mother?”

Seonho’s body stiffened. Daeyoung passed by him and got into the elevator. Looking back, Seonho’s eyes were trembling.

Guilt? Loyalty? Affection? Whatever it was, Daeyoung intended to exploit all that was in his eyes.

“Think deeply about what’s best for Jang Jaemin.”

“……”

“Only four days left.”

Bang.

The elevator door closed again. After staring at Seonho’s pained face until the end, Daeyoung took a deep breath. His chest swelled under the shirt which he hadn’t bothered to fully button up while dressing Jaemin.

Keeping Seonho by Jaemin’s side, despite his irritation, was because he might be useful. Daeyoung thought Seonho would do everything to support the pregnant Jaemin, and there was no one better suited for this role, despite his personal dislike.

However, he didn’t let his guard down. Damn Jang Jaemin had the power to enchant others, even unintentionally.

If Jaemin had come to Seoul to meet Kwon Sangdo a little later, Daeyoung would have arranged an ‘accidental’ meeting with him, to see who could make Jaemin’s heart react. And he did.

If Jaemin knew that someone had planted a camera in his room when he faced Choi Jisun, he’d be shocked. But through this, Daeyoung confirmed that his partner was not at all interested in Seonho. That’s why he could tolerate crossing lines by those who thought Jaemin’s place was beside them.

Entering Jaemin’s room late at night to erase traces of another’s lips was rather courteous.

But after learning that Jaemin would leave for New York with Seonho in four days, controlling his anger became difficult.

“Fuck…”

Daeyoung clenched his fist, thinking it didn’t matter. If push came to shove, he could kill him. Jaemin wouldn’t be able to board the plane with Seonho’s death behind him, and with that, Seonho would pay for his sins while fulfilling his role.

Everything would go according to his plan. Daeyoung walked out of the old building without a shred of doubt. Even as dark clouds gathered over the sea previously bathed in sunlight, it was good. It was the perfect weather for Jang Jaemin to reminisce about their memories. Nature itself seemed to be on his side.

“Of course! Thanks to you, I got a good agency and started my activities properly.”

“…What nonsense are you talking about?”

Jaemin frowned as the old scar on his neck throbbed, feeling as if it had been stabbed by a knife. But Song Hangyeol clung to him like an annoying puppy, his large eyes opening even wider.

“Didn’t Chairman Jang tell you?”

“……What?”

The distinction between calling someone ‘Hyung’ and ‘Chairman’ was less irritating than Song Hangyeol’s subsequent comments.

“After Chairman got out of prison, he was looking for you like crazy. It was pretty famous among our alumni.”

“What was so famous?”

“……Just as it is.”

Could it be that all the misfortunes that happened to him were displayed? Ignoring Jaemin’s souring expression, Song Hangyeol kept talking.

“While you two were dating, your father disowned you and adopted Daeyoung Sunbae. So, you got pissed off and disappeared. Daeyoung Sunbae, while looking for you, almost went mad and ended up in jail for beating someone to death.”

“Ha.”

Jaemin scoffed at this new scenario, but Song Hangyeol didn’t stop.

“So, when I accidentally met you in Japan, I contacted him right away. Even after turning away, it kept bothering me.”

So, the person who tipped off Daeyoung about his whereabouts was Song Hangyeol. Perhaps the very origin of all these events. Suppressing his rising anger, Jaemin listened to his story.

“And now, with Chairman Daeyoung’s help, I’m making a comeback.”

“Did you use me to grab an opportunity? Living life well, huh?”

When Jaemin mocked him, Song Hangyeol smiled, his well-groomed eyebrows furrowed.

“It’s not about grabbing an opportunity; I repaid a favor, and the opportunity followed.”

“A favor?”

“Back in high school, the favor Chairman did by saving me from those assholes. If I meet them now, I’d really kill them.”

For a moment, a murderous intent crossed Song Hangyeol’s seemingly innocent face. But it was fleeting. In front of him, who began to praise Seol Daeyoung, Jaemin couldn’t hide his discomfort and started cracking his knuckles. His head was already complicated enough without Song Hangyeol’s help.

A few hours later, he would board a flight leaving Korea. And tonight at midnight, people intent on killing Seol Daeyoung would raid the villa where he was staying.

“Aren’t you busy? Are celebrities usually this free?”

When Jaemin bluntly told him to leave, Song Hangyeol shrugged.

“The drama hasn’t aired yet. Once I become popular, I won’t even have time for a honeymoon.”

In the direction he glanced, his lover was watching before pretending not to notice. As Song Hangyeol prepared to leave, he added to Jaemin.

“Please give my regards to the Chairman.”

“Do it yourself.”

“He has to meet me for that. The last time I saw the Chairman was when I contacted him about seeing Jang Jaemin in Tokyo.”

Song Hangyeol smiled slightly, his eyes narrowing. The smile felt off, causing Jaemin to frown.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. Just thinking about Chairman makes my heart race again.”

Song Hangyeol looked at him while sharing the unnecessary information that Seol Daeyoung was his first love.

“Did Jang Jaemin look happy? He asked me that.”

“……”

Jaemin’s pupils suddenly heated up. He bit his lip hard to hide his surprise.

“He asked if Jang Jaemin looked happy without him… I was scared I’d get strangled if I answered wrongly.”

“……So, what did you say?”

“I told him the truth.”

Jaemin glared at him, and Song Hangyeol blinked, stretching his lips out.

“He looked like a corpse.”

Fuck.

“He seemed empty. I mean, you weren’t lively back in high school either, but you had some venom, didn’t you, Hyung?”

“Shut up.”

“But when I saw you in Tokyo, it felt like something in you had died.”

Should he really shut his mouth for him? As Jaemin’s face turned grim, Song Hangyeol finally stood up. Putting his sunglasses back on, he added his last words.

“But even after meeting the Chairman again, Hyung, your vibe is still similar to back then?”

“……What are you talking about?”

“Nothing, really.”

After ambiguously speaking, Song Hangyeol disappeared with a glass of wine toward his lover. Seonho had just returned, so Jaemin couldn’t even retort, let alone hit him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, let’s just go.”

Jaemin left his half-empty teacup and stood up.

“Jang Jaemin looked happy without me?”

The voice of Seol Daeyoung asking Song Hangyeol echoed in his mind as if he had heard it himself. Did he have to confirm Daeyoung’s presence in this way until the very last moment of his escape? Trying to calm his unsettled heart due to the unexpected coincidence, Jaemin quickened his pace out of the lounge.

“But even after meeting the Chairman again, Hyung, your vibe is still similar to back then?”

Song Hangyeol’s unnecessary comment also bothered him. It meant that to others, he looked like an empty, dead person. Even though he had enough will to live a new life with his child.

“There’s still time before departure.”

“Does it matter where we wait?”

With Jaemin’s sharp response, Seonho didn’t speak further. Jaemin walked with him in silence, checking the time. The flight was at 4:50 PM, and it was now 3:00 PM, still early for departure. They had already checked in their luggage; Jaemin and Seonho carried only a Boston bag and a carry-on each.

“How’s it going with Kwon Sangdo?”

Jaemin asked quietly, sinking into a chair at the gate. Seonho glanced at his constantly ringing phone and swallowed hard.

“He seems eager to locate Seol Daeyoung quickly.”

Jaemin twisted his lips, resting his elbow on the armrest and his chin on his hand.

“Seems like he’s scared of getting scammed.”

Jaemin had confirmed that Seol Daeyoung left for his private villa on the west coast at midnight when his rut started, then contacted Jeonghun, one of Kwon Sangdo’s subordinates.

“Having thugs work on him will look good. Use illegal immigrants. It’ll make the police’s cleanup messy and end the case quickly.”

“When and where should we go?”

“Midnight tomorrow. I’ll give you the location separately.”

“Tomorrow?”

It’s known that once a rut starts, it lasts about 72 hours. However, in the case of Seol Daeyoung, who is an exceptionally capable alpha, it could end and recover faster than average. Thus, they only had one day.

“Excuse me, Mr. Jang Jaemin, who speaks so urgently like this? How can we get people ready on such short notice?”

“I’ve already arranged it. With some really good guys.”

“Mr. Jang Jaemin did?”

“Isn’t this why you came looking for me? As you said, I’m the expert.”

“Hmm. But we need to verify their credentials from our side.”

“I’ll let you meet the head, then verify with the mayor, I mean, your father.”

“……Please lower your voice.”

“Also, tell him not to interfere. It could really end badly. Like an axe splitting someone’s skull in two.”

Jeonghun reluctantly took the information about the head Jaemin connected him with. Jaemin thought Kwon Sangdo would check the identity of the workers through Jeonghun, even if not directly. But there was no problem. The person he had arranged was indeed notorious in this field for their dirty and cruel methods.

However, they did their job well for the money, which is why Jaemin often contacted them when he had to deal with troublesome people (usually those Chairman Jang Wonjung told him not to touch) in the past.

Jaemin’s plan was as follows: inform Kwon Sangdo’s side of Daeyoung’s location just before midnight. Kwon Yoojin, along with the police, would be lying in ambush nearby, and after the workers raid Daeyoung’s villa, they’d respond to an ‘anonymous’ tip.

The arrested criminals would mention Jang Jaemin’s name, but Jaemin would already have left the country. The aftermath would be concluded with Kwon Yoojin’s performance, using the recording of Jaemin’s conversation with Kwon Sangdo.

During this process, it would be revealed that Jaemin is Kwon Sangdo’s illegitimate child. After learning that a hostess he had defended in the past bore his child, Kwon Sangdo tried to kill Jaemin to safeguard his political career, but failed and used him as a hitman.

“Ha…”

The resolution of the case would take at most an hour. By the time all this happens, Jaemin would be flying over the Pacific. After arriving in the US, he planned to head to the Bahamas to start a new life in the Caribbean Sea. The alimony received from Seol Daeyoung would be used for identity laundering.

Imagining his child growing up on golden sandy beaches, all this felt far from difficult.

Jaemin opened his eyes after they had been closed, poured some bottled water, and moistened his parched lips. As he looked around, turning his stiff neck, he saw a man in a suit sitting behind him glance at him before lowering his gaze.

At first glance, he looked like a businessman on a business trip, but there was something different about him. The man, whom he had seen in the lounge where he met Song Hangyeol, had a peculiar vigilance typical of someone in this line of work.

The man was likely a trap set by Kwon Sangdo, possibly because he feared Jaemin might betray him. Given the current situation, it seemed highly likely that he would board the same plane. Kwon Sangdo had promised to kill him if he didn’t cooperate in killing Seol Daeyoung, proving to be somewhat honest.

It would be best if he left after they arrived in the US, but if trouble arose, Jaemin might have to engage in a physical fight. He was glad Seonho was with him, instinctively placing a hand on his belly.

― Passengers boarding for □□ Business Class to ○○ can now board.

As soon as the announcement was made, he stood up. He had already sent the scheduled message to Kwon Sangdo’s side about Daeyoung’s location, now only waiting for time to pass. If everything went according to plan, by the time they landed, he would see breaking news about Seol Daeyoung and Kwon Sangdo.

He calmed his breath, organizing his thoughts. His plan seemed risky, but he reminded himself that it was, in fact, the safest method. He had a premonition that if he didn’t deal with Kwon Sangdo now, Daeyoung would inevitably face issues later.

Kwon Yoojin wouldn’t mess this up. Driven by her betrayal towards her father, she would use every connection she had to secure police support.

Even if something went awry, Seol Daeyoung wouldn’t die. There was more than one group Jaemin had arranged. If the police were late, they would rush into Daeyoung’s villa and fight the crazies with weapons.

Even without the safety nets he had prepared, Jaemin believed Daeyoung wouldn’t die in such chaos. He had a history of beating up notorious thugs early on. Moreover, if he found out Jaemin was involved? He might not control his anger, kill the thugs, and go back to jail.

“May I see your passport and boarding pass?”

Jaemin entered the cabin without looking back. As he took his seat following the attendant’s guidance, he felt the reality of finally leaving this tiresome place. He was already prepared to live under a new identity; it wasn’t something he hadn’t done before, so there was no worry.

He had fully accepted the breakup with Daeyoung. All memories with him were buried in a storm in the East Sea four days ago.

Now, a new life with his child was beginning.

“May I confirm your seat?”

Jaemin frowned as he saw Song Hangyeol belatedly entering, having made unnecessary comments to him. Could they possibly be heading to the same destination?

Song Hangyeol, lowering his head, glanced at Jaemin and Seonho beside him through his sunglasses and made an “Oh” face, surprised that the person next to Jaemin wasn’t Daeyoung, with curiosity and questions in his eyes about how this came to be.

“Is that pub still there, in front of the beach where we used to live?”

Jaemin, ignoring Song Hangyeol’s gaze, turned to Seonho beside him.

“Ah… Maybe. We should check sometime.”

“You liked the pizza there, Hyung. It would be nice if we had a chance to go there later.”

Despite Jaemin’s effort to change the subject, Seonho only gave a vague, bitter smile, showing little reaction.

“…What’s wrong?”

Jaemin’s eyes showed concern. Seonho hadn’t been in good condition since the ride to the airport and even in the lounge. Thinking back, he seemed deep in thought for the past few days, not even noticing when Jaemin called him.

“It’s nothing to worry about. Everything will be fine.”

Maybe Seonho was as tense about this as Jaemin, considering all the things they’d been through together.

“…Yeah. I’ll go to the restroom.”

It was perhaps inevitable. Seeing the man in the black suit from the lounge take a seat behind them, Jaemin bit his lip. He felt like squeezing the life out of the man right then and there.

As Seonho headed to the restroom, the man sitting behind also stood up. Jaemin, frowning, watched him follow Seonho as if to monitor him.

“Excuse me.”

The man looked at Jaemin, asking, “What’s the matter?” His acting was smooth, but it was clear he knew who Jaemin was.

“Where are you going?”

“To the restroom.”

With an expression of disbelief, Jaemin grabbed his arm and spoke in a slightly brazen tone.

“Either you have diarrhea, or wait a bit.”

“……”

“My companion just went to the restroom, so please wait.”

As Jaemin’s voice sharpened, the flight attendant, who had been watching them, quickly approached.

“Can I help with anything?”

“No.”

Thinking that Jaemin wouldn’t let go of his arm easily or that causing a scene here would do no good, the man sat back down after a brief response. Jaemin forced a smile as Seonho returned.

“Might as well have a drink and sleep it off.”

“Jaemin.”

“Drink my share too.”

Seonho’s expression remained dark as he looked at Jaemin chuckling. After hesitating several times, he finally decided to ask Jaemin.

“Are you really sure you won’t regret this?”

“…What are you talking about suddenly?”

Jaemin’s face lost its smile at Seonho’s serious tone. Seonho swallowed hard, continuing.

“I’ve been thinking about this the whole way here.”

“What?”

“…Is it really the right choice for you to leave here… no, to leave him?”

From his gaze, it was clear this wasn’t just idle talk. Seonho’s eyes were full of concern for him. With Song Hangyeol’s appearance already making him sensitive, Jaemin’s mood was genuinely soured. Knowing Seonho’s concern was genuine made his feelings even more complicated.

“Do you think you’ve been kind to me just because you’ve done well by me lately?”

Jaemin looked at him with cold eyes and spoke lowly.

“Hyung has no choices. Everything was my choice.”

Boarding for business class was long over, and the economy cabin was almost full. They would take off soon, and Jaemin couldn’t understand why Seonho was suddenly saying such things.

“I always thought you were unfortunate since you were young.”

“What?”

Seonho swallowed hard again before continuing.

“When we first met, I gave you chocolate, but you hesitated for a long time and then said you didn’t need it. That you don’t eat what others give.”

He might not remember, but it was probably true. Since childhood, Shin Joohee had trained Jaemin not to even talk to strangers, fearing he might get kidnapped.

“…What are you trying to say?”

“You’ve always been like that. You’ve never expressed what you really wanted, not just when you were young but even when you grew up. You’ve lived by doing what others told you to do.”

Seonho’s words stung a little.

“In the end, none of the choices you’ve made were for you.”

“Seonho.”

His words sharply pierced Jaemin. Jaemin’s eyes widened, but Seonho continued to pour out his thoughts like a flood.

“I know you as well as that man, Jaemin. I’ve spent time watching you.”

“Why are you suddenly like this, fuck. Did you eat something wrong?”

Finally, Jaemin grabbed his collar, speaking through gritted teeth, and Seonho exhaled deeply.

“I felt like I’d regret it if I didn’t say it now.”

“What.”

Instead of answering, Seonho handed him an envelope. Jaemin swallowed hard, looking at the crumpled, worn envelope.

“…After you were kidnapped from the hospital, I went to collect what was left of your belongings. Everything was gone, except for this one thing at the bottom of the drawer.”

“Ha… really…”

The letter from the detention center remained unopened, preserving its original state. Seonho, with a choked voice, calmly touched on his feelings.

“You loved Seol Daeyoung so much you couldn’t even read this. No… you loved him, Jaemin.”

Jaemin’s face flushed red. What the hell was this? What did this mean?

“Give it here.”

Jaemin snatched the letter roughly, tearing open the envelope to pull out the contents. He tried to crumple the crudely designed letter paper as soon as he opened it, but reading the first line in forceful handwriting made him catch his breath.

To my lover

“……”

Feeling his heart flutter, Jaemin bit his trembling lips. His red eyes slowly skimmed over the wave-like letters.

Had I ever expressed my feelings in writing to someone? I just spoke out what I wanted to say.

But for one person. For you, it was always different.

Jaemin. From the moment I first saw you, I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone else by your side, regardless of your will. And I’m not really sorry about that.

Jaemin’s hand holding the old paper trembled. Bastard. He got under my skin from the very start. That’s why he never opened the envelope back then. Tears welled up in his long eyes, blurring Daeyoung’s sincerity.

If I spoke honestly about my feelings, you would push me away. I thought you would turn your sharp, disdainful eyes away from me and run far away, making me even crazier, pushing me to the point where I couldn’t handle myself anymore.

Jang Jaemin. Do you know? You were the first long-term plan I ever made in my life.

I had no intention of scaring you by showing you my true, tar-like nature, but now I feel no need to hide it anymore. To be honest, hiding it is impossible. Since I stepped into your world, I’ve completely forgotten any other path.

As you might guess, I’m quite a dirty human. From the moment I could think for myself, I’ve done whatever it took to get what I wanted, and I’ve lived like that.

Using others. Punishing them by my own justice. All of that was too easy for me. Looking back, I might have found the world amusing before I met you.

How could I just leave you alone, you who appeared before me shattering my arrogance, breaking all my common sense, standing beautifully amidst drooling beasts, blinding their eyes? I couldn’t bear it without making you mine.

But there’s one thing I’m sure of. If you had been just beautiful, if your mind hadn’t been twisted and you were in your right mind, my feelings for you would have stopped at mere interest.

Jang Jaemin. I loved you because you were insane, and my feelings haven’t changed to this day.

The more the world drives you mad, the stronger my heart becomes. The more you curse your fate, the more I want to be with you forever. I want to offer my heart to your painful, tearful face. And someday, I want to see you smile happily looking at me.

I will do what no one else could do for Jang Jaemin, and then I will become your only one, and finally, we will be equal to each other. You’ve already taken my uniqueness long ago.

Now, let me get to the point of this letter. I heard you tried to hang yourself on the bathroom door handle. I also heard you failed gloriously. If you’re trying to escape this world, you will fail again, no matter how much you hate this place, because you can’t leave the world where I exist.

How do you feel, Jang Jaemin? This is your third failure. Isn’t it frustrating?

If you write back to me, in the next letter, I’ll tell you a sure way to end your life in a mental hospital.

I can give you anything you want.

So write me a letter.

Pour out words that aren’t sincere. Even threats filled with anger are fine. Say anything. No, actually, you don’t need a letter. Just appear before me. Come in person and take away my breath, which is already yours. This time, you might succeed. Because in this moment where I can’t reach you, I’m as good as dead. Jaemin. Have you forgotten me? Truly?

I’ve never ended things with you.

In fact, neither have you.

Jaemin was breathing heavily with a contorted face. Each sentence Daeyoung wrote was filled with things meant to provoke him. If he had read this letter in the past, he would have certainly kicked open the door of the mental hospital, rushing to the detention center, telling him to stop talking nonsense. That’s probably the outcome Daeyoung was aiming for.

“……Showing me this now just pisses me off.”

Jaemin managed to say with a burning throat, and Seonho looked at him with a pained expression.

“Jaemin.”

“Fuck.”

Although he cursed, Jaemin’s hand trembled as he folded the letter back into its original state and put it in his jacket instead of crumpling it. His elongated eyes were also reddened. Jaemin gripped his hair irritably, avoiding Seonho’s gaze.

“What do you want me to do now! It’s all over.”

Through the small airplane window, he could see the runway. There was no turning back now.

― Passengers, welcome aboard. This flight will take off in approximately five minutes. Please fasten your seat belts for takeoff…

“No, Jaemin.”

Seonho’s tone was unusually firm.

“It’s not over until it’s over.”

“……”

The image of Seol Daeyoung naturally came to Jaemin’s mind. He also remembered his younger self, looking at Seonho with a bored expression while wearing a judo uniform on the mat.

“Why did you give up at the end?”

“Because it was a fight I was bound to lose.”

He thought it was shameful to struggle until the end when the outcome was already decided.

“With that mindset, you’ll never win.”

“……”

“Remember this, Jaemin. The arena is a microcosm of life. Both in matches and in life, it’s never over until it’s over.”

The judo champion who had turned the match around at the last moment smiled with the same expression as before. Jaemin tried to steady his trembling lips, but he couldn’t calm his rapidly beating heart.

I’ve never ended things with you.

In fact, neither have you.

Actually, the reason Jaemin hadn’t read Daeyoung’s letter while confined in the mental hospital wasn’t out of anger. He was afraid of falling apart like this. Afraid he might want to live again, might miss him so desperately, might throw away all shame and run to Daeyoung, clinging to him.

“……”

A silent tear streamed down from Jaemin’s tightly clenched lips. Seeing this, Seonho sensed that Jaemin was at his limit. He immediately called for a flight attendant.

“Can we get off now? My companion seems to be having trouble with the flight.”

Jaemin should have told him to stop being foolish, but he couldn’t open his mouth. His heart was pounding hotly.

“Excuse me? What’s the matter?”

“She’s pregnant and feeling unwell.”

The flight attendant’s expression changed instantly upon hearing this. Jaemin, who was crying and breathing heavily, indeed looked visibly unwell.

“If you want to get off, you need to hurry before final boarding.”

Instead of answering, Jaemin clenched and unclenched his fist. Seonho spoke to him again, as if giving him courage.

“Do what you want to do, Jaemin.”

Seonho’s expression was calm, showing no pressure. It meant the choice was entirely Jaemin’s. But…

Do what I want? What is that? How do I even do that?

For Jaemin, who had lived calculating others’ intentions his whole life, this was the hardest thing.

His mind went blank, like an idiot for the first time in a long while. Jaemin frowned with wet eyes, licking the inside of his molars. Then, he asked a question that sounded foolish even to himself.

“How should I do it…?”

“First… start by contacting him.”

Jaemin swallowed hard, closing his eyes tightly then opening them. Should he contact Seol Daeyoung and tell him there’s something to say? Where should he start? Should he confess about the pregnancy first? Or should he warn him that Kwon Sangdo is sending people to kill him tonight? But that he’s safe, so he should let Kwon Sangdo go?

Random, tangled thoughts swirled in Jaemin’s mind like a knotted ball of yarn. Would Daeyoung even listen in this rut state?

Given any reason, Daeyoung’s anger might first target him if he found out Jaemin had allied with Kwon Sangdo to kill him.

As Jaemin grew anxious, someone approached and spoke to him carefully.

“I heard you’re feeling unwell.”

It was the purser, informed by the flight attendant. He asked Jaemin with caution if he needed help from a doctor passenger or if he wanted to get off now.

“Just a moment.”

“I’m sorry, but you need to decide quickly to avoid disruption to the flight…”

His heart was beating so hard his head was throbbing. Song Hangyeol, looking at him with curiosity, was irritating, and the flight attendants standing there, urging him, were annoying. But the most unbearable thing was the risk of betting everything on Seol Daeyoung here, only for him to turn away in the end. Could he handle it if Seol Daeyoung rejected him after he fought to the end?

“Ha…”

“Jaemin.”

Seonho gripped his arm and spoke in a slightly raised voice. Feeling like his head might explode, Jaemin raised his voice sharply.

“I’m thinking, so just give me a moment…!”

“It seems Kwon Sangdo has found out where Seol Daeyoung is.”

Jaemin’s face turned pale and froze as he tried to shake off Seonho. He turned his head quickly to look at him.

“What?”

Kwon Sangdo was supposed to receive Daeyoung’s villa address just before midnight. Jaemin didn’t trust him. But how did he find out beforehand? Had Daeyoung been followed? That meticulous bastard wouldn’t let that happen.

“I just received this photo.”

Jaemin roughly grabbed the phone Seonho handed him. The sender was the surveillance agent. He was the eye Jaemin had placed around Daeyoung’s villa just in case. The photo showed an ominous group of men, not the gang led by the head Jaemin had introduced to Jeonghun.

“……”

The moment he confirmed they were armed, Jaemin’s eyes went blank.

“Get out of the way.”

There was no hesitation in his movement as he stood up abruptly.

“Sir, if you want to disembark, you need to fill out some paperwork according to regulations…”

“Move!”

Before Jaemin could knock down a flight attendant trying to stop him, Seonho intervened.

“Let’s talk to me. I’m his assistant.”

With a nod, Seonho conveyed a silent message, and Jaemin dashed out of there. He pulled out his phone to call Seol Daeyoung, but all he got was a message saying the phone was off.

“Fuck… Fuck…!”

Jaemin shouted as he ran across the gate.

“Go to the address I’m sending you right now. Quickly!”

He called those he had hired to protect Daeyoung, his voice tense with urgency. His heart was beating wildly, making him nauseous.

“Bring guns. And kill every single bastard who’s trying to kill Seol Daeyoung.”

―You said midnight, right? And where are we supposed to get guns now…

“I’ll pay whatever it takes, so do it now!”

The knuckles of Jaemin’s hand gripping the phone turned white. Passengers walking through the airport glanced at him, but he had no attention for anything other than Seol Daeyoung’s safety, who was on the verge of being attacked by the people sent by Kwon Sangdo.

Of course, he didn’t think Daeyoung would go down easily. But just like his supposedly perfect plan had gone awry, variables could always occur, and if something happened to Seol Daeyoung because of this…

Merely imagining this horrific scenario made Jaemin’s legs feel like they were giving out. He gritted his teeth. I can’t take it. I can’t bear a world without Seol Daeyoung.

―The person you are trying to reach is not available. Please leave a message after the beep…

To make matters worse, even Kwon Yoojin wasn’t answering, which made Jaemin’s scalp prickle. Could something have happened to her too? If Kwon Sangdo, who had moved quickly in broad daylight, had blocked Yoojin beforehand, it wouldn’t be impossible.

Fuck.

Feeling like steam was rising before his eyes, Jaemin bit the inside of his mouth until it bled.

He had to go to Seol Daeyoung now. The thought that he was the cause of all this made him want to stab himself in the neck, but suicide would have to wait until after he saved Daeyoung. He could never accept an outcome where Daeyoung ended up with bullet holes in his heart because of him.

Panting heavily with breath up to his chin, he was about to grab a taxi when someone grabbed him from behind.

“Mr. Jang Jaemin.”

It was the man in the black suit who had been following him around the airport. Jaemin twisted his face into a scowl and grabbed the man’s collar.

“Did Kwon Sangdo order you to kill me? You bastard…”

Jaemin realized he had to postpone his suicide a bit longer. He needed to kill Kwon Sangdo with his own hands. Cutting ties with his biological father was shitty, but Daeyoung had done it long ago, for Jang Jaemin, for himself.

“Huh…”

Despite having his collar grabbed and struggling to breathe, the man calmly took out his phone and handed it to Jaemin. The name on the screen was one Jaemin hadn’t expected. Was this a fake? Jaemin’s grip tightened on the man’s collar as he answered the call without letting go.

“Hello?”

― Jaemin.

Hearing the familiar voice of Shin Joohee, Jaemin swallowed hard.

“What is it?”

The memory of her last moment, shooting Jang Wonjung, made his stomach churn. But to Jaemin, she was just another piece of his painful past.

― Mr. Kim is someone I sent. I heard you were leaving Korea and thought something might happen, so I had him follow you.

Jaemin’s grip loosened. He roughly pushed the man away and clenched his temples.

“So you called to get a thank you?”

Whether they were fake parents or real ones, it seemed like they were all set on making his life a living hell.

― I called Seonho and heard about what just happened.

As Jaemin breathed heavily, Joohee’s low and calm voice continued.

― It’ll be faster if you move with Mr. Kim. I’ll send as many people as I can from my side too.

A fierce winter wind blew, scattering his hair. Jaemin only pondered briefly with his complicated mind. If Joohee, who had chosen servants throughout her life, had personally chosen this man, it would be better than taking a taxi. Now was not the time to choose between water and fire.

“Where’s the car?”

After getting into the car Mr. Kim called, Jaemin tried calling Daeyoung again.

― The person you are trying to reach is not available. Please leave a message after the beep…

The repeated mechanical tone made Jaemin’s insides dry up. He slammed his fist against the car’s body, then buried his face in his knees.

“Haa… Haa…”

He couldn’t breathe properly due to hyperventilation. The surveillance he had placed at the entrance of the hill where Daeyoung’s villa was located had gone silent after sending that photo. If they weren’t dead, they had run away, which meant the situation there was dire.

The guys sent to attack Daeyoung should have arrived at the villa by now. Had Daeyoung encountered them? In a state where he was disoriented because of his rut. Fuck… Would Seol Daeyoung be okay?

Jaemin reached into his jacket and gripped Daeyoung’s letter. His eyes, which seemed to have lost their vigor, were bloodshot, and his neck, marked by scars, felt like it was on fire. It was unacceptable for this letter to be Daeyoung’s last words. No one leaves a suicide note from years ago, especially not in this heart-wrenching way.

Each second felt like his insides were burning up. A minute felt like an eternity. Jaemin opened his eyes, which were deeply sunken with multiple layers of eyelid folds.

“Go faster, please.”

When he glared at the driver through the rearview mirror, he received a stiff reply.

“I’m going at top speed.”

Fuck. He could tell by looking at the dashboard that the man was telling the truth. But Jaemin couldn’t bear it. Daeyoung’s phone had repeated the same message dozens of times before finally going dead.

What the hell happened? A situation where he couldn’t even answer the phone. And then the phone turned off. A scenario he was all too familiar with from the past flashed through his mind, giving him goosebumps. Just imagining Daeyoung’s body bleeding out from being tortured was enough to make his head feel like it would explode.

“Let me drive. Stop the car.”

“Mr. Jang Jaemin.”

“Stop the car, fuck!”

“I’m sorry.”

From the driver’s seat, Mr. Kim spoke mechanically. Jaemin understood the man’s position; he was probably thinking that someone else could remain calm when he was on the verge of exploding.

But Jaemin found it harder than death to just sit in the backseat. For the first time, he felt this powerless, unable to do anything but tear at his hair in the moving car.

“Ha…!”

Suddenly, a strong movement from his abdomen made Jaemin hold his breath. As the car jolted, causing his ribs to ache, sharp wrinkles formed on Jaemin’s forehead. Right now, of all times, this life inside him was asserting its presence with such tumultuous movements. But… there was something even stranger.

“…Where are we going now?”

His reflection in the window showed confusion. As they passed a green sign for Seoul, Jaemin turned his head sharply. He thought he had seen it wrong, but he hadn’t.

“I asked where the fuck we’re going!”

Jaemin shouted, but all he got back from the driver’s seat was silence.

“Fuck, stop the car.”

His mind was too full of worry for Daeyoung to notice sooner. With reddened eyes, Jaemin turned on the navigation on his phone. The car was definitely moving away from the sea.

“This fucking bastard…”

Jaemin tried to grab Mr. Kim’s shoulder, but he swerved the car, braking hard, making Jaemin’s hand swipe through the air. As the car shook violently, Jaemin’s body lurched to the side. The man was as skilled at driving as if he had been born to do it.

“Please put on your seat belt.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“For the safety of the fetus as well.”

Jaemin’s face contorted, his red, chewed lips parted soundlessly. Only a very few people knew he was pregnant, and Shin Joohee wasn’t one of them. There was no way Seonho would have said anything unnecessary to her in this situation.

Then…

What came to Jaemin’s mind was his biological father. With Daeyoung’s location in his hands, there was no reason for him to leave Jaemin be once he was no longer useful.

“Fuck…!”

The thought of being held back until the end made Jaemin’s anger explode. Had Shin Joohee been bought by Kwon Sangdo as well? She had amassed wealth and lacked nothing financially, but it was possible she was being blackmailed by Kwon Sangdo over something. If Kwon Sangdo had shown interest in Jang Wonjung’s disappearance and caught a whiff of his death…

“Ha…”

Jaemin’s mind grew increasingly complex. But one thing was clear. This car he was in wouldn’t take him to Daeyoung. He had no intention of becoming fish food by being dragged to the sea, but if he kept floundering and something happened to Daeyoung in his absence, Jaemin would surely lose his mind completely.

“You never intended to go to the villa from the start, did you?”

Jaemin asked, stomping hard on Mr. Kim’s seat with his shoe as the man began another stunt drive. Even to himself, it was a dull question, and there was no answer from the other side.