Simmering Heat Chapter 11.1

[Kim Sunghyun: Taeunnn] 13:34

[Kim Sunghyun: Where r u? R u coming? When r u arriving?] 13:34

[Kim Sunghyun: Let’s go in together I don’t wanna sit alone] 13:34

His phone buzzed three times in his pocket. Taeun pulled it out, switched it to silent, and checked the messages. His body swayed gently with the movement of the subway car.

The sender was Kim Sunghyun. Despite this being their first private exchange, Sunghyun’s messages were casually chatty, as if they talked all the time. Taeun steadied himself, bracing his feet, and typed a reply.

[I’m on my way] 13:35

He sent the message and glanced up at the display screen. The name of the next station flashed.

[3 stops away] 13:35

He sent a quick update.

It was Saturday, the day of the DDP’s first official meeting, which included a mentoring session and a seminar. The seminar and mentoring were divided by specialization, followed by a team meeting to discuss service planning.

Naturally, Cha Jinhyun was standing beside Taeun. Since the venue was closer to them than the orientation location, and parking was difficult in the city center, they’d opted for public transport. Though Taeun wished they could be alone, riding the subway together wasn’t bad. It felt nostalgic, like their high school days when they commuted together.

[Kim Sunghyun: R u coming with Jinhyun?] 13:38

[Kim Sunghyun: I’m at the cafe in front The mentor hyung is here too Taeun help me out Let’s go in together] 13:38

[Kim Sunghyun: Ditch Cha Jinhyun lol Design crew sticks together] 13:38

His phone buzzed again. Sunghyun’s boisterous personality was reflected in the messages filling his screen.

[How can u be with the mentor already?] 13:39

[Is that abuse of power?] 13:39

[Kim Sunghyun: lol he’s a senior from my department I invited him] 13:40

[Kim Sunghyun: I’m awesome right] 13:40

[Kim Sunghyun: Taeun so trust my connections lol ditch Jinhyun] 13:41

“There he goes again…”

Taeun muttered as he typed.

Sunghyun’s assumption was correct. Jinhyun had drawn a firm line, declaring he wasn’t gay and couldn’t date Taeun. He’d rejected him unequivocally. Still, their current situation wasn’t a setback. It was a neutral starting point. They were starting over from zero. Though, since they hadn’t actually been anywhere, ‘starting over’ wasn’t quite accurate.

[Okay] 13:45

[Send me the location] 13:45

It didn’t matter anyway, since Jinhyun would be attending the planning seminar. Before Taeun could even leave the chat, Sunghyun sent the cafe’s name and address.

“Let’s get off.”

A light tap on his shoulder startled Taeun. He put away his phone. Three stops had passed quickly.

The university where the meeting was held was located at the top of a steep hill. Jinhyun, seemingly having arranged to meet the planning team beforehand, parted ways with Taeun halfway up. Taeun felt a pang of unease watching Jinhyun, the sole male in the planning group, walk away.

It’s a good thing Sunghyun contacted me. He would have been completely alone otherwise. Taeun reached the top of the hill, breathing heavily, and scanned his surroundings. He located the cafe across from the main gate and headed towards it.

As he approached, he saw Sunghyun and another man sitting inside. Today’s mentor. The man, Sunghyun’s senior, looked familiar. Taeun tilted his head, stepping inside.

I’ve seen him somewhere before…

If he was Sunghyun’s senior, he must be a design major. In their small world, it was possible they’d crossed paths before.

“Taeun, over here.”

Taeun walked towards Sunghyun, who was waving, worried about any awkwardness. The man sitting across from Sunghyun turned to look at Taeun.

“Oh.”

The moment their eyes met, Taeun stopped. The fog in his memory cleared, revealing a familiar figure. He quickly approached the table.

“Teacher?”

Taeun’s voice was a pitch higher as he plopped down next to Sunghyun, his surprise and delight evident.

“Lee Taeun?”

The man, Seo Jaeoh, whom Taeun had called “Teacher,” mirrored his surprise. His lips curved into a smile. They hadn’t seen each other in about five years.

🔥

An incredible coincidence, a fateful encounter, an unexpected appearance. These were the three elements Lee Taeun, an avid drama viewer, loved the most. With all three present, he leaned closer to the table, his excitement bubbling over.

“Wow. Woooow.”

“Woooow.”

Sunghyun mimicked his tone, laughing. Taeun shot him a brief glare. Jaeoh simply watched them.

“Teacher Seo, where have you been? No, what have you been doing? After we graduated high school, you suddenly disappeared. We even rumored you might be dead.”

“What the hell? Why would you think I’m dead?”

Jaeoh furrowed his brow in disbelief. Taeun grinned. “Just saying,” he replied, his flushed cheeks betraying his excitement. During his stressful final year of high school, consumed by his one-sided love and endless drawing practice, Jaeoh, then an assistant instructor at the art academy, had been a constant presence, teasing and pestering him.

Like many art instructors preparing for university entrance exams, Jaeoh had been a student at the academy himself. After completing the grueling, almost prison-like, regular intensive course, he’d achieved the remarkable feat of being accepted into every university he applied to. He’d chosen D University, the most prestigious among them.

After his second semester of freshman year, Jaeoh took a leave of absence to complete his mandatory military service. Upon discharge, he took another year off. There was no particular reason. Like any other university student, he simply wanted to travel, relax, and experience new things.

While looking for a part-time job to fund his plans, he received a call from the director of the art academy he’d attended. The timing was perfect. Jaeoh accepted the offer without hesitation. Hiring former students as assistant instructors was a common practice at art academies.

Early summer, at the age of twenty-three. The sight that greeted him on his first day back wasn’t particularly pleasant.

Lee Taeun, wearing a grubby apron, was banging his head on the desk with a distressed expression. The image of Taeun’s self-inflicted torture with a paintbrush was hard to forget, and perhaps because of that, he’d always found Taeun particularly noticeable.

“Taeun, you’ve grown so much. I wouldn’t have recognized you on the street.”

Taeun, now around the same age as Jaeoh had been back then, looked quite different from the memory. Recalling the younger, more immature Taeun, Jaeoh greeted him with a rather clichéd remark.

“What, are you a grandma now? That’s the first thing my grandma says when she sees me.”

“You’re still as cheeky as ever.”

“When was I ever cheeky? I was the most diligent student.”

“You’re the same kid who cried in the bathroom because he got a C.”

“Ah, Teacher!”

Taeun, chewing on his straw, glanced nervously at Sunghyun, who looked ready to jump in with a teasing remark. Taeun quickly changed the subject.

“Anyway, I was disappointed you didn’t contact me. What happened?”

“I was preparing to study abroad around the time you started university. I just came back to Korea. Sunghyun was a freshman then, so we became close after seeing each other often at drinking parties.”

“I’m quite sociable, you know.”

Kim Sunghyun, who had been quietly observing their reunion, chimed in. Taeun just shrugged.

“So what are you doing now? Are you back in Korea for good? Where do you live?”

“One question at a time. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Well, I’m curious.”

Taeun rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, looking at Jaeoh. Jaeoh pulled out his wallet and handed him a crisp business card.

“I’m back in Korea permanently, and I work at a company now. A suffering office worker.”

“…Whoa. Teacher, you work here?”

Taeun gaped at the company logo printed on the card. It was a rapidly growing IT company, known for its generous treatment of designers, a dream workplace in an industry notorious for its harsh working conditions.

“Haha, thanks to studying abroad.”

“Too much modesty is just obnoxious, hyung.”

Sunghyun, having finished his drink, flicked his straw. Taeun tucked the business card away, still expressing his awestruck admiration.

“Teacher, get me a job there. Are you hiring janitors? I’m good at cleaning.”

It was a joke, but there was a sliver of sincerity in his words. Thanks to Jinhyun’s strict rules, his housekeeping skills had improved considerably. He could now handle most chores with his eyes closed.

“If you’re going to join, Taeun, you should come as my junior.”

“Heh.”

Taeun scoffed reflexively. It was still a far-fetched dream.

“Shall we get going? We’re going to be late.”

Jaeoh stood up, gathering the empty cups. The other two checked the time and hurried towards the exit. Taeun’s flustered movements reminded Jaeoh of his younger self, anxious during the final stages of practical art exams. He’d thought Taeun had become incredibly sophisticated, but seeing him like this, he seemed not so different after all. Jaeoh smiled softly.

🔥

The unexpected reunion was pleasant, and the subsequent mentoring session was engaging. Taeun kept glancing at Jaeoh, fascinated by the designer, not the art instructor, he had become. The session started with a brief self-introduction, followed by anecdotes and explanations of Jaeoh’s work. After about an hour, they reached the last slide of his presentation: Q&A. The simple black text on a white background was stark but clear.

Perhaps due to the company’s reputation, a flurry of questions followed, leaving no room for Taeun to interject. Jaeoh randomly selected students who raised their hands, and despite Taeun’s enthusiastic waving, he wasn’t chosen once.

Meanwhile, Sunghyun and Eunah, Taeun’s teammates, had their questions selected without fail. Taeun eventually gave up, pouting and glaring at his former teacher, who seemed to be deliberately ignoring him. His carefully prepared list of questions became useless. The Q&A session ended.

Taeun listlessly packed his bag, feeling resentful towards Jaeoh. As he stood up, a large hand landed on his shoulder. Jaeoh, who had approached him unnoticed, leaned down and whispered, his voice so low that Taeun barely heard him.

“Taeun, you can text me your questions.”

“Huh?”

Taeun, granted an unexpected privilege, turned to look at Jaeoh.

Jaeoh patted his shoulder, smiling kindly. His handsome face radiated warmth towards his former student. Taeun’s momentary resentment melted away.

He’s just looking out for me.

Taeun grinned back, misinterpreting Jaeoh’s kindness.

A fleeting pang of guilt questioned his actions, but he quickly dismissed it. After all, the world revolved around connections.

“Okay.”

Taeun nodded and whispered back, mimicking Jaeoh’s low tone. He quickly stood up at the sound of Sunghyun calling him from outside. Their team meeting was waiting.

🔥

When they arrived at the cafe, the planning team was already seated. After ordering his drink, Taeun quickly scanned for a seat near Jinhyun. Though the seat next to him was taken, the one across from him was empty. He hurried over and sat down before anyone else could claim it. Sunghyun, strolling in behind him, clicked his tongue and shook his head.

Jinhyun glanced briefly at Taeun before returning to his printed documents. The meeting was to discuss the overall service plan and direction. The planning team was finalizing their data. Taeun stared at Jinhyun, who was talking to someone beside him, then nudged his foot under the table. It was a rather impulsive act.

“…….”

The tapping of Jinhyun’s pen stopped. He slowly looked up at Taeun. What? his gaze seemed to ask.

He’d only nudged Jinhyun’s foot to get his attention, but under his gaze, Taeun felt compelled to do something. I have to seduce Cha Jinhyun… He winked. Jinhyun’s face crumpled in disgust, as if he’d just witnessed something horrifying.

Maybe that was too much. Embarrassed, Taeun looked away, scanning the cafe.

“Sorry we’re late.”

Fortunately, his embarrassment was short-lived. The development team arrived just in time.

“No worries, we just got here.”

Taeun greeted them cheerfully, moving his haphazardly placed bag. Now that everyone was present, the spacious table suddenly felt cramped.

“I told you to drop the formalities, but you’re still using honorifics.”

“Taeun oppa’s always like that. Did you read some article online about ‘heart-fluttering polite speech’ or something?”

“No… no, I just keep forgetting, it’s not like that.”

Since their first team dinner, they’d become much closer, chatting in their group chat and teasing each other. Taeun, now labeled as an awkward returning student, stammered, “No, no,” repeatedly.

“Shall we start now that everyone’s here?”

Jinhyun’s voice cut through the sudden commotion. The team members agreed and settled into their respective groups. Taeun remained in his seat, flanked by Sunghyun and Eunah. Jinhyun, too, stayed put, so they sat facing each other for the meeting. Taeun liked that very much.

“We’ve organized the data by target audience and industry category based on recent trends. Since this is our first meeting, let’s just share our thoughts!”

Shin Dajeong distributed the service planning materials and started the discussion. Taeun picked up the printed documents and scanned them. They contained the same information Jinhyun had been working on at home. Well organized… It was quite detailed and extensive for research done while juggling schoolwork.

“Currently, the trending keywords are environment, elderly welfare, pets, kids, etc… Since these have clear target audiences and service directions, we’ll have to accept the challenges of differentiation and potentially repetitive plans.”

Jinhyun continued, pointing to the keywords and the mind map on the first page. His pleasant voice blended with the cafe’s classical music, sounding incredibly soothing. At least, to Taeun’s ears.

“That’s true. The keywords have such strong images that it would be a challenge to approach them differently…”

“Right. So, we think it’s best to target younger demographics… Since they’re familiar with IT services, there’s more we can do. We’ve listed keywords targeting people in their 20s on the next page.”

The team members flipped to the second page, which was even more densely packed with information.

“We’re not here to slack off, but we’re not here to kill ourselves either. We reviewed past projects, and they all had a relatively lighthearted approach. With ventures and startups growing rapidly, practical and innovative services would be suitable for our portfolios.”

Taeun, reading through the document, paused. A branch extending from the ‘Dating/Romance’ category led to ‘Sex Toys.’ He felt a strange sense of embarrassment, even though he wasn’t a child giggling at potty humor. The thought that Jinhyun had researched and written that section made him blush.

“Since the design team is responsible for the final visuals, we’d appreciate your active participation in choosing the theme…”

Jinhyun said, glancing at Taeun. Taeun nodded unconsciously. There seemed to be a general consensus on the target audience.

“I’ll share this document via email. Write your email addresses here.”

Jinhyun passed around a blank sheet of paper. They had a short break while everyone wrote down their email addresses. Some went out for a smoke or to the bathroom, while others continued discussing their ideas.

Now that the initial direction was set, creative ideas began to flow. Someone suggested developing a ‘National Restroom Map’ app, joking that public restrooms were always hard to find when drinking outside. A ripple of laughter spread across the table.

[Lee Taeun, [email protected]]

Taeun wrote his name and email address on the paper, following the format of the others. He felt Sunghyun peeking from the side.

“Big Silver for Taeun?”

“You figured that out?”

As expected, Sunghyun couldn’t resist commenting. Taeun looked at him, impressed. Sunghyun glanced at his own ID written above: snghn77. It seemed dull and boring compared to Big Silver.

“That’s cool. Come up with one for me.”

Sunghyun tried to fill the void by poking fun at Taeun’s quirky naming sense. He hadn’t meant it seriously.

“Hmm…”

But Taeun, taking the half-joking request seriously, began to think, twirling his pen. His unusually serious expression made Sunghyun slightly expectant as he watched Taeun’s hand. The pen started moving.

[sexblack77]

The pen stopped abruptly. Despite his decisive writing, Taeun glanced nervously at Sunghyun.

“Whoa.”

Sunghyun’s reaction was unreadable. He stared at the intensely provocative ID, then leaned closer to Taeun and whispered,

“I get the first part, but what’s with ‘black’? Is it for… coolness?”

“It’s ‘hyun’ for ‘black’ in Korean.”

“Wow, you’re kind of smart.”

It was an ID created using three languages. Sexblack. Taeun silently repeated his creation, feeling satisfied. Did I go too far? He regretted it slightly and leaned closer to gauge Sunghyun’s reaction.

“That’s funny. Let’s come up with one for Jinhyun too.”

To his relief, Sunghyun didn’t seem offended. Taeun twirled his pen, a smug smile playing on his lips. He seemed slightly giddy from the praise.

“Jinhyun? Just his first name, not his last name?”

“Whatever you want. But don’t be biased. I mean, you came up with ‘sexblack’ for me.”

“I won’t. Wait a minute.”

Lee Taeun’s naming service resumed operations. Jinhyun, Cha Jinhyun… He started writing carefully, character by character.

[real_old_car]

“Holy shit.”

Kim Sunghyun quickly covered his mouth at the sight of Jinhyun’s completed ID.

“What do you think? It took some effort.”

It seemed to mean ‘real’ly ‘old’… something. The ‘car’ at the end probably referred to Jinhyun’s last name… but read literally, it meant ‘junk car.’ Didn’t he like Jinhyun? Sunghyun thought, looking at Taeun. Taeun was looking at him expectantly, awaiting his verdict.

“Are you a genius?”

Sunghyun showered him with praise. Praise made whales, and Taeun, dance.

“More, more.”

“More what?”

“Whose name should I do next?”

Taeun, now fully energized, nudged Sunghyun with his elbow.

“Try Jaeoh hyung.”

“Ah, that’s a high difficulty level.”

Sunghyun suggested Seo Jaeoh, who had been with them earlier. Taeun giggled and was about to pick up his pen when—

Buzz. A low vibration interrupted their laughter. Taeun’s phone, which had been face down on the table, started buzzing. He picked it up without thinking. The slight smile that had lingered on his lips slowly faded.

The caller ID was strange. It was Cha Jinhyun, sitting right in front of him. The ridiculous nickname he’d given Jinhyun flashed on the screen.

[ㅗ: Did you move on?] 16:36

The message was even stranger.

…What? The cryptic message brought Taeun’s cheerful thoughts to a screeching halt.

He slowly turned towards Jinhyun, his face flushing with embarrassment as their eyes met. Jinhyun was staring at him, his expression blank and unreadable.

Neither of them spoke for a moment. Then Jinhyun looked away and, as if nothing had happened, calmly resumed his conversation with the others, leaving Taeun completely rattled. Taeun stared blankly at his phone screen.

He couldn’t reply.

🔥

The excessively thorough research material was a result of Jinhyun’s influence. More options meant more diverse opinions, and sometimes, a shift in perspective from the conventional. It was also a way to quickly eliminate unsuitable ideas and filter out impurities.

A building with a weak foundation was bound to crumble. Just as the flap of a butterfly’s wings could cause a hurricane, a solid foundation was necessary to prevent future problems. This meticulous preparation reflected Jinhyun’s forward-thinking nature.

Acting impulsively wasn’t his style, unless he was truly enraged. Like that time he confronted Taeun in front of the bar, or when Taeun had tried to disappear again, ignoring all his messages… Aside from these exceptional circumstances, Cha Jinhyun was usually good at controlling his impulses.

However, the childish message he’d sent Taeun was a result of a sudden impulse.

He found it absurd that Taeun, who’d insisted they couldn’t be friends because of their long history, was now chummy with Kim Sunghyun, a gay man.

He wasn’t angry. If he had to name the impulse, it was mischievousness, a playful prank, like flicking eraser dust at someone in school.

He’d expected Taeun to frown and reply immediately after seeing the message. Jinhyun fidgeted with his phone under the table. Five minutes, ten minutes passed. No reply. He started glancing at Taeun. And each time their eyes almost met, Taeun would quickly look away. Jinhyun had a hunch.

Lee Taeun was angry. Because of his silly text.

“I’ll share today’s meeting minutes in the group chat. Anyone want to grab dinner? I’m hungry.”

Shin Dajeong turned off her Bluetooth keyboard and spoke casually. The meeting was wrapping up after finalizing the target audience and project categories. Those sitting nearby raised their hands, indicating their interest in dinner.

Jinhyun, his chin resting on his hand, watched them, his gaze drifting towards Taeun’s pale face. He unconsciously observed Taeun’s reaction, expecting him to join them, as he usually enjoyed these gatherings.

“I’m not feeling well today, so I’ll head home.”

His expectation was proven wrong.

Taeun’s voice was quieter than usual. Murmurs of disappointment followed his announcement. Taeun gave a strained smile in response to their concerned remarks, but didn’t elaborate. Sunghyun tugged at his sleeve, saying something, but Taeun simply shook his head and started packing his things. One by one, the team members stood up. Jinhyun remained seated, staring at Taeun.

“Enjoy your meal.”

Taeun slung his messenger bag over his shoulder and turned towards the exit, his curt farewell and hurried movements betraying his eagerness to leave. “He must be really sick,” someone said, worried by his abrupt departure. Jinhyun stood up.

Taeun hadn’t looked at him once, not even once, before leaving the cafe. Even though he must have felt Jinhyun’s gaze.

“Oppa, are you leaving too?”

“…I have a prior engagement.”

Jinhyun replied, his eyes still fixed on the doorway through which Taeun had disappeared.

“What? You can’t join us either?”

“Looks like it. I’ll get going then.”

Those around him expressed their disappointment. Jinhyun stuffed his documents into his bag, still staring at the doorway. He gave a brief farewell, grabbed his things, and left.

He didn’t have a prior engagement. Or rather, he’d just made one. He spotted Taeun walking ahead and quickened his pace to catch up.

“Taeun.”

When he was close enough to see Taeun’s head, no longer a distant speck but the size of a soccer ball, Jinhyun called out. Taeun hesitated for a moment, then started walking faster. He was being ignored.

“Hey.”

Jinhyun, scoffing at the blatant disregard, sped up as well. Hey, Taeun, hey! He called out repeatedly, but Taeun didn’t stop. Their impromptu speed-walking competition continued.

“Oof!”

Finally, exasperated, Jinhyun grabbed Taeun’s bag strap. The strap tightened around Taeun’s neck, and he stumbled, his body tilting forward. Jinhyun caught his shoulder and spun him around. Taeun adjusted his bag, rubbing his neck.

Fuck. What the hell. Jinhyun expected a sharp retort, but he was wrong again. Taeun simply glared at him, his eyes narrowed.

“…….”

“…You.”

The unexpected look of resentment froze Jinhyun in his tracks. He couldn’t speak.

Whoosh…

The wind rustled the leaves of the trees lining the sidewalk, the sound like a slap against Jinhyun’s ears, echoing Taeun’s unspoken anger. The cool breeze died down.

Taeun shrugged off Jinhyun’s hand. Jinhyun snapped out of his trance, feeling like he’d just surfaced from underwater. He spoke slowly.

“Are you deaf? I called you so many times…”

“Don’t talk to me.”

A firm rejection cut him off. Jinhyun frowned slightly. He knew Taeun was angry, but this seemed excessive. Honestly, he didn’t even understand why Taeun was angry.

“…I’m supposed to be seducing you, so I want to show you only my good side.”

Taeun, having taken half a step back, spoke after a long silence. His flat tone reflected his low spirits.

“But I don’t think I can do that right now, so don’t talk to me.”

That was the crux of the matter.

It was an unusually firm rejection from Taeun. Jinhyun, having never seen Taeun so resolute, stood there speechless. He finally voiced his confusion.

“Why are you angry?”

He and Taeun always exchanged silly jokes. That text message wasn’t even a proper prank. He still couldn’t understand Taeun. Sending that childish message had been a simple impulse. Friend. The urge to rattle Taeun, who was flaunting his friendship with Sunghyun while Jinhyun was left wanting just that.

“…Why?”

But he hadn’t intended to elicit this reaction. Taeun’s face was shadowed by an unfamiliar darkness, cold and distant.

“You’re asking why I’m angry?”

“Yeah, I don’t understand.”

“…….”

“Is it because of the text? It was a joke.”

Jinhyun was even more confused. He couldn’t understand why Taeun was acting like a child who’d been scolded and sent away, his eyebrows furrowed in apparent distress. It wasn’t that big of a deal.

Taeun stood rooted to the spot, motionless. His lack of any visible emotion, be it anger or sadness, made Jinhyun anxious. He was about to call out Taeun’s name when Taeun spoke.

“Hey, Jinhyun.”

His voice was a little quieter but otherwise normal. Yet, Jinhyun found it strangely melancholic. The bones in Taeun’s hand, gripping his bag, were prominent. The tight grip of his left hand didn’t match his gentle tone.

“Do you…”

Even though Jinhyun didn’t reply, Taeun continued. He took a short breath, as if steeling himself, and spoke again.

“Do you… want me to move on to someone else?”

It was a question with a predetermined answer. But Jinhyun couldn’t bring himself to speak, looking at Taeun, tense and frozen after asking the question.

“…Yeah.”

A delayed answer sliced through the air between them. Taeun’s raised shoulders slumped.

“…Oh, okay.”

“…….”

“…I’m sorry to disappoint you… but I like you.”

I like you.

It wasn’t a confession. Yet, Cha Jinhyun momentarily held his breath, taken aback.

Taeun had been loud and boisterous, declaring his intentions to seduce him, but he’d never actually said the words I like you. It made Jinhyun’s ears tingle. Even though he already knew, hearing Taeun’s feelings voiced so plainly felt new.

“So, even if you have those thoughts… keep them to yourself. Don’t play those kinds of games with me.”

“…….”

“It hurts.”

Taeun turned and walked away, his rapid steps like a retreat. This time, Jinhyun didn’t follow. He couldn’t. He didn’t know why. Everything felt confusing.

Taeun walked away from the subway and the bus stop, his figure eventually disappearing from view. Jinhyun’s gaze, which had been stubbornly following him, drifted to the ground.

He stood there, motionless as a telephone pole, then slowly raised his head to look at the sky. The bright blue expanse was hidden behind the sprawling branches of the trees. He slowly raised his hand, running it through his hair from his forehead to the back of his head before letting it drop. The gesture seemed heavy with fatigue.

Lee Taeun likes me.

The fact he’d only acknowledged intellectually finally sunk in, settling like a heavy stone in his chest. The weight of it, surprisingly, had the face of his longtime friend.

🔥

Taeun walked aimlessly. He’d intended to go straight home after leaving the cafe.

But his unexpected encounter with Jinhyun had erased all thoughts of returning. If Jinhyun hadn’t confronted him, he could have dealt with his feelings on his own. That’s why he’d left the cafe so quickly. Thirty minutes, maybe an hour, that’s how long it usually took him to recover from these kinds of setbacks. But Jinhyun, by chasing after him and provoking him, had ripped open the wound. This would take at least half a day to heal.

“And that bastard actually answered my question…”

He hated how Jinhyun had responded with a casual “Yeah” to his question about moving on.

It was his own fault. He’d asked the question, and now he resented Jinhyun for answering honestly. He felt suffocated by his own pathetic behavior.

Taeun circled a tall building, eventually finding a designated smoking area. He pulled out a cigarette. Before this precarious cohabitation, he rarely smoked, maybe one cigarette a day. Now, he went through a pack a week. Click. The capsule in the filter burst. He exhaled the smoke like a sigh.

Even if it was a meaningless joke, it still stung. If he could move on, he would have done so already. Jinhyun’s casual teasing was proof that he didn’t take love seriously.

“Folk dance…”

Taeun took a drag of his cigarette, remembering Jinhyun’s definition of dating. If, by some miracle, he and Jinhyun ended up together… would he just be another folk dance partner? He hated this one-sided struggle, but he also hated the thought of being just another fleeting partner in Jinhyun’s long list of relationships.

Amidst his tangled thoughts, one thing was certain. He hated all the possibilities. And he hated the idea of remaining friends the most. He no longer had the patience to stand by Jinhyun’s side, watching his dance partners come and go. That’s why he’d accepted that ridiculous offer to seduce him.

But moments like these filled him with despair, a sense of helplessness, like being adrift at sea on a small raft. He didn’t know what to do.

What do I have to do to make you see me, even for a moment…?

Buzz.

The vibration in his hoodie pocket pulled him out of his despair. He fished out his phone. It was an unknown number. Taeun tilted his head and answered the call.

“Hello?”

—…….

Silence. He frowned, lowered the phone, checked that the call hadn’t disconnected, and brought it back to his ear.

“Hello?”

—…….

“…Who is this?”

—…….

Still no answer.

“…I’m hanging up…?”

What is this, a prank call? He was about to press the end call button when—

—That’s harsh. You didn’t save my number?

The slightly reproachful voice was familiar.

“Teacher?”

—Give me back my business card, you punk.

It was Seo Jaeoh. Taeun stubbed out his cigarette and left the smoking area, adjusting his grip on his phone.

“Ah, I was going to do it on my way home.”

—Nice excuse. I told you to text me your questions.

“I was going to do that on my way home too…”

—Aren’t you home yet?

It was a reasonable question, considering how much time had passed since the mentoring session.

He’d lost his way home, and he needed half a day to recover. He’d planned to buy a can of beer and wander along the river, listening to the playlist he’d made for melancholic moments.

“I’m still out.”

But he couldn’t voice his pathetic plan. He kept his answer short.

—Where are you?

“Still near the university…”

—Have you eaten?

“Not yet…”

He felt awkward repeating the same phrase. Like a parrot. Taeun leaned against the wall of the building, squatting down.

—Where exactly are you? If you’re nearby, let’s grab dinner. It feels strange to let you go after seeing you again after so long.

Taeun instinctively looked around at Jaeoh’s suggestion. He spotted the dimly lit entrance of a subway station in the distance.

“Is Teacher Seo treating me?”

—Take your pick.

Taeun chuckled at the playful response.

“Hmm!”

He made a thoughtful noise. He didn’t want to refuse the unexpected invitation. It was certainly better than wallowing in self-pity by the river.

“Teacher, anything really?”

—Yes, anything.

I do want a drink, though.

Taeun hesitated, then spoke, unsure if it was appropriate to ask his former teacher.

“…Then will you buy me a drink?”

🔥

The black asphalt was choked with cars. A typical Saturday evening scene near a subway station in Seoul. Taeun watched the slow crawl of vehicles, wondering if he should have just offered to meet Jaeoh somewhere else. He reached for his phone just as—

Honk! A sudden car horn startled him. He looked up to see a large car pulled over to the side of the road. The tinted window rolled down, revealing the driver. Jaeoh leaned over and gestured for him to get in. Taeun quickly opened the passenger door.

“Wow, the traffic is terrible. Teacher, were you nearby? You got here fast.”

He buckled his seatbelt as he greeted Jaeoh. The window rolled back up, muffling the outside noise.

“I hurried in case you left while waiting.”

“Where would I go when I’m getting a free meal? I could wait an hour easily. You should have taken your time, it’s dangerous to rush.”

Taeun replied casually, looking around the car as he fastened his seatbelt. Even at a glance, it was clearly an expensive luxury sedan. The ride was incredibly smooth as they merged into the flow of traffic.

“Ooh.”

Taeun, impressed, narrowed his eyes and looked at Jaeoh.

“Teacher Seo, you’ve really made it. Driving a car like this.”

“Haha. This isn’t that expensive. You can get one too.”

“How much is it?”

“500 billion won.”

“50 million won? Where’d you get that kind of money?”

Taeun, filtering out the obvious joke, asked incredulously.

Jaeoh, amused by Taeun’s naivete, chuckled and tapped the navigation screen. The traffic thinned out as they moved away from the station.

“Do you think I’d offer you a meal if I didn’t have any money? Is a Japanese restaurant okay? You said you haven’t eaten yet. They serve alcohol too, so let’s go there.”

“Anything’s fine. Is it okay for you to drink if you’re driving?”

“I’ll call a designated driver. You said you wanted a drink.”

“Oh…”

A designated driver too? Taeun felt a slight pang of guilt. Jaeoh was picking him up, buying him dinner and drinks, and now he’d have to pay for a driver as well. Even though they were reuniting after a long time, this felt a little too much.

“I’ll pay for the driver.”

“I can’t accept that. Pay me back after you get a job.”

“That’s years away…”

“I can wait.”

The man driving a supposedly “500 billion won” car replied nonchalantly. Taeun, having checked his near-empty bank account, nodded, avoiding Jaeoh’s gaze.

“Put it on my tab. I’ll treat you properly someday.”

“Are you a gangster or something?”

Jaeoh chuckled at his serious tone. The car slowed to a stop at a red light. Jaeoh glanced at Taeun.

“Can I open the window?”

Taeun asked, making eye contact.

“You don’t have to ask.”

“Just being polite.”

“Cheeky.”

Buzz. The passenger window rolled down, and Taeun craned his neck to look outside, the straight line of his neck visible above his thick hoodie. Jaeoh quickly looked away. The light turned green, and the car started moving again. Taeun leaned against the window, staring at the generic warning printed on the side mirror.

‘Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.’

I wish Jinhyun was in this mirror.

A silly thought popped into his head. I wish you were closer than I feel. Taeun sighed softly, so Jaeoh wouldn’t hear.

It felt like his mind and body were at odds. He hated Jinhyun, but he also liked him. Why is unrequited love like this? Hurt and resentment were fleeting, but unwanted love lingered like an eternity. Taeun stared at the passing streetlights, lost in thought.

The scenery blurring past his slightly open eyes was familiar. The first time he’d ridden in a car with Jinhyun, it had been late afternoon, just like now.

Jinhyun had gotten his driver’s license during the winter of his senior year of high school and received a car as a congratulatory gift for getting into a prestigious university as soon as he turned twenty. A lavish present from his wealthy parents.

Rich kids get different kinds of presents. That’s what he’d thought when he saw Jinhyun pull up in front of his house in the sleek new car. Excited to be the first passenger, Taeun had quickly hopped into the passenger seat.

And so began their near-death driving experience.

Jinhyun, who’d initially suggested a casual drive around the neighborhood, started venturing further and further away. When they entered an eight-lane highway, Taeun finally asked,

‘Where are we going?’

Jinhyun didn’t answer. Taeun pretended not to notice his pale face. A few minutes later, when Jinhyun missed his exit and ended up at a toll booth despite the navigation’s clear instructions, Taeun realized something was wrong.

‘Hey, it’s not like we’re going to die.’

Jinhyun had forced a smile, trying to joke about it. Taeun, seeing his feigned composure, thought he was okay.

But fear crept in as the car accelerated on the highway. When Jinhyun, repeatedly missing exits, said with a resigned tone, ‘Well, if we die, we die together. At least I won’t be alone,’ Taeun yelled, begging him to stop the car.

In the end, Taeun had to stick his hand out the window like a frantic fly, gesturing wildly at other drivers to let them pass. He also became responsible for the right side mirror, yelling, “Now! No, now!” as they navigated the highway like a two-legged race. Their casual drive ended only after they’d crisscrossed the entire southern Gyeonggi province. As soon as the car stopped, Taeun jumped out and declared he’d never ride with Jinhyun again.

Jinhyun, his face red with frustration, told him to wait three months. And exactly three months later, Jinhyun showed up at his house with his car, saying casually,

‘Hey, get in.’

It was a cheesy line, but Taeun had gotten in without a word. Jinhyun, seemingly determined to redeem himself, drove with one hand on the wheel, expertly navigating the roads. It was, indeed, a perfect drive.

“…He was so cute back then…”

Taeun murmured, a small smile playing on his lips. Thinking back, he might have fallen for Jinhyun again that day.

“What did you say?”

Jaeoh, glancing at Taeun through the rearview mirror, asked about his quiet mumbling. Taeun straightened up, startled, and rolled up the window.

Why am I thinking about him again? He smacked himself on the forehead, a forceful, unconscious gesture. Jaeoh, watching him from the side, widened his eyes in surprise.

“What’s wrong? Do you have a headache?”

“I just want a drink.”

“…Are you an alcoholic?”

Not alcohol, but Cha Jinhyun, was his addiction. Jinhyun constantly popped into his head, tormenting him. Unable to explain his complicated history, Taeun simply nodded.

Jaeoh watched him, considering if he should take him to a hospital instead of a restaurant.

🔥

The Japanese restaurant, located on the third floor of a sleek building, was a high-end establishment that also served as an izakaya. It was an unfamiliar atmosphere for Taeun, who usually frequented cheap street food stalls.

A uniformed employee led them to a private room. Even the dim lighting in the hallway seemed carefully curated. Taeun self-consciously glanced down at his faded jeans, navy hoodie, and carelessly slung messenger bag. He felt out of place in such a sophisticated setting, acutely aware of the employee’s gaze.

“Why did we come to such a fancy place? This is too much.”

He whispered as soon as the employee left, his hushed tone overly serious.

“It’s not that expensive, it just looks fancy. What do you want to eat?”

“The cheapest thing.”

“What about drinks?”

“The cheapest one.”

“Hey, I’m not asking you to pay.”

“I know. That’s the problem.”

Taeun, who’d been expecting a casual sushi place at most, scanned the menu anxiously. There wasn’t a single dish under 10,000 or 20,000 won.

“Don’t worry about the price and order whatever you want.”

Jaeoh’s relaxed tone made Taeun even more anxious. He flipped through the menu quickly, his gaze darting between appetizers and main courses, finally landing on an 8,000 won item.

“Then this.”

He pointed at the price tag under a picture of a pile of fermented soybeans.

“…Natto?”

“It’s healthy.”

“Forget it. I’ll order.”

Jaeoh scanned the menu briefly and called the employee, rattling off a series of dishes. The only thing Taeun understood was “sashimi.”

…Even a quick glance showed that those dishes were expensive. Is it okay to order so much? Taeun had confidently told Jaeoh to put it on his tab, but the exorbitant prices made him uneasy. He felt awkward accepting such generosity.

Well, since he’s offering, I might as well enjoy it. I’ll pay him back handsomely after I get a job. Taeun made a mental note as he watched the sake and salad being placed on the table.

“Have you ever had sake before?”

“No, this is my first time.”

“I figured, so I ordered something similar to soju.”

Jaeoh poured the sake into small, clear glasses. They resembled soju glasses but were slightly larger and wider at the mouth.

“Eat some salad. Drinking on an empty stomach is bad for you.”

“I’m a professional at drinking on an empty stomach. It’s fine. I want to get drunk.”

Taeun raised his glass. “Cheers!” he said. Jaeoh clinked his glass against Taeun’s without a word. Taeun downed the entire glass in one gulp, letting out a strange groan at the slightly bitter, fermented rice flavor. Jaeoh, who had only taken a small sip, stared at him, dumbfounded by his sudden chugging.

The sliding door opened, and the dishes they’d ordered began arriving. Thick slices of sashimi, a tempting assortment of fried foods… Taeun’s mouth watered. He hadn’t eaten all day.

“Thank you for the food.”

He bowed his head slightly towards Jaeoh. “Enjoy,” Jaeoh replied, picking up his chopsticks.

“What happened?”

Taeun’s hand, reaching for a piece of sashimi, paused. Jaeoh continued, seeing his hesitation.

“You suddenly wanted to drink.”

“…I just… had a fight with a friend.”

That was all he could say. He wasn’t even sure if it qualified as a fight. He was the one who got angry and stormed off. Taeun paused, reflecting on his actions.

…Did I overreact?

A brief wave of regret washed over him, but he quickly dismissed it.

He was upset, and that was that. He could understand Jinhyun’s behavior at the cafe, but he couldn’t overlook Jinhyun’s flippant “Yeah” to his question, as if encouraging him to move on. Who was the one who told me to try seducing him? He felt his anger flare again at the memory of Jinhyun’s smug response.

“Why are you fighting at your age?”

“I don’t know. Let’s not talk about him. Tell me about you, Teacher. How have you been?”

Taeun stuffed his mouth with sashimi, determined to improve his mood. He needed to recharge before resuming his seduction attempts. He was getting stubborn now.

“I struggled a lot abroad. It’s good to be back in Korea.”

“Where did you study?”

“I was in Germany.”

Taeun, who’d been expecting the US or Canada, widened his eyes.

“Guten Tag!”

He raised his refilled glass and offered a cheerful greeting in German, his cheeks puffed out with food.

“Haha, yes. Guten Tag.”

Jaeoh chuckled and raised his glass as well. Taeun downed his drink in one gulp again. Jaeoh laughed at his silly groan.

“Seeing you reminds me of the academy. It was really tough, but looking back, it was fun.”

Taeun reminisced about their time at the academy. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that Jaeoh was the reason he’d managed to get into a university in Seoul. Taeun tended to dig himself into holes whenever he struggled, and Jaeoh had always been there to pull him out, offering both encouragement and tough love.

“Remember when all my pencils kept breaking while I was drawing? And you kept sharpening them for me, but they’d just break again and again…”

“I thought you were doing it on purpose. To get my attention.”

“I was just nervous because it was my first exam. Teacher, you were laughing, weren’t you? The head instructor scolded me for smiling. But it wasn’t fair. He was laughing too… He just scolded me because he was embarrassed.”

He still remembered that day clearly, when Jaeoh had sharpened his pencils like he was refilling a straw. Taeun chuckled, his shoulders shaking. It’s still funny. Funny things always seemed to happen when he was with Jaeoh.

“It was fun being with you, Teacher. You felt the same, right?”

Taeun took a sip of sake, his cheeks flushed from the alcohol.

“…It was, but…”

Jaeoh’s delayed response, tinged with a hint of bitterness, contrasted with Taeun’s cheerful tone.

“Being with Taeun, how should I put it…”

It was fun. It was exciting. It was enjoyable. Taeun’s eyes sparkled, waiting for Jaeoh to continue. Jaeoh paused, as if searching his memory, then drained his glass before speaking.

“Sometimes it made me feel like trash.”

“…What?”

Taeun’s jaw dropped, surprised by the unexpected answer.

“Just… forget it. You wouldn’t understand.”

“…What? Teacher, do you hate me?”

“Quite the opposite, actually.”

“Why did you feel that way…?”

It didn’t seem like a joke, but the atmosphere wasn’t serious either. Jaeoh didn’t elaborate, so Taeun racked his brain for an explanation.

Did I go to a university that was too low-ranked for all the effort he put in?

…But considering my grades back then, I’m lucky I even got into that university. Taeun’s picture had even been on the academy’s promotional banner.

“You were the nicest teacher to me at the academy… Do you still feel that way?”

“Just for a brief moment.”

“Huh? When?”

Taeun, still clueless, asked. The immediate confirmation surprised him even more.

“When you asked me to buy you a drink.”

“I’m not underage anymore.”

“That’s true, you’re not a minor anymore, but…”

“…….”

“…you still look like a kid.”

“…What are you talking about? I’m a big kid.”

‘He probably feels like he’s buying alcohol for a high schooler.’

It seemed Jaeoh’s image of him as a minor was deeply ingrained. Taeun brushed it off, understanding the source of Jaeoh’s self-reproach.

“How much have you grown? You were only up to my shoulders before.”

“Wow, it wasn’t that bad. I’ve grown… maybe 5cm since my senior year? I was a late bloomer.”

“Are you about 180cm?”

“Yes… if you round up.”

Jaeoh chuckled at the added qualification, as if Taeun couldn’t bring himself to lie completely. Taeun scratched his nose, remembering Kim Hyoju calling him a “golden loser.”

“Anyway, I should alleviate Teacher Seo’s guilt.”

“How?”

Taeun quickly changed the subject, picking up the sake bottle.

“I’m an adult now.”

He declared firmly, narrowing his eyes and swirling the bottle gently.

“I don’t like to brag, but I can hold my liquor. How about it, adult vs. adult, drinking match?”

“Drinking match…”

Jaeoh echoed Taeun’s words.

He looked quite mature now. But his cheerful challenge reminded Jaeoh of the younger Taeun, who’d once challenged him to a cola-chugging contest after Jaeoh bought him a burger.

“Are you sure? I can drink a lot.”

“I’ve only lost a drinking match once.”

To Kim Hyoju. Taeun didn’t elaborate on his humiliating defeat at twenty. Kim Hyoju was practically made of alcohol, not human. So technically, he’d never lost a drinking match to a human. He finished his mental gymnastics and filled Jaeoh’s glass to the brim with sake. Jaeoh chuckled, watching the sake wobble precariously.

“Now I’m getting competitive.”

“Same here…”

Taeun replied playfully, filling his own glass until it formed a clear, jiggly dome. Jaeoh raised his glass provocatively, and their eyes met. Cheers. The first shot of their duel went down their throats.

Three hours later.

Lee Taeun suffered his second defeat…

🔥

Everything he touched felt cold. It was a strange sensation.

Even the bowl of soup, which should have been warm even if it had cooled down, felt icy. He lifted the cool bowl and took a sip. The lukewarm miso soup felt as cold as refrigerated water. Taeun finally realized. It’s not that everything is cold, it’s that I’m burning up. His trembling hand spilled some soup onto his thigh.

“Damn…”

He stared at the stain, carefully placed the bowl down, and reached for a napkin. His unsteady arm knocked over his spoon.

“…Nothing’s going right…”

He grumbled, his reaction delayed, and bent down to pick up the spoon. He lost his balance and toppled over. The fall wasn’t painful, thanks to the low table and cushions, but he couldn’t get up.

“Ugh…”

He lay there beside his spoon, letting out a hot breath. He struggled to breathe, taking short, shallow breaths. He rolled over with difficulty, like a newborn attempting to turn over for the first time. His head spun. He blinked repeatedly until his vision cleared. He fumbled for his phone in his pocket. There were no messages from the person he was hoping for.

“That heartless bastard…”

His messaging app was overflowing with notifications, but none from Jinhyun. He scrolled through the messages, his fingers trembling slightly from the alcohol.

[Design Park Kiwon: Taeun, what was that free stock image website you told me about? Send it again] 19:24

Kiwon. Our Park Kiwon! My precious friend… His sake-soaked brain was overly sentimental.

[Hey Kiwon I really love you but I’m homeless ;;] 22:32

He wanted to express his affection for Kiwon. It reminded him of the time he’d fled to Kiwon’s place to avoid Jinhyun. It could happen again. He added a subtle hint, just in case. He left the chat without answering Kiwon’s question and opened the next one. It was from Sunghyun.

[Kim Sunghyun: What happened? Did Jinhyun bother you?] 18:04

“Even his friend… is worried about me!”

He smacked the floor in frustration, immediately regretting it as pain shot through his hand. He adjusted his grip on his phone.

[Yeah he hasn’t contacted me it’s so unfair ㅠ] 22:33

He poured out his self-pity, fueled by Sunghyun’s concern.

[lol but I’m gonna contact him so it’s okay] 22:33

[Thanks] 22:33

He quickly added a reassuring message, not wanting to seem too pathetic, and thanked Sunghyun.

There were also messages from Hwang Yunsoo and Kim Hyoju. He was about to reply to them all but suddenly felt too tired and closed the app.