Kill Your X Chapter 42

Why is it said that strong denial is affirmation? What if, by any chance, the rumors about my father secretly committing corruption behind everyone’s back were true?

“Song Gyujin, how did you manage to lose both your backpack and your cell phone at the same time? Are you not paying attention to what you’re doing?”

I was picking at my food with a serious expression, when the misplaced blame landed on me.

“I’m sorry. I fell asleep and left them in the taxi.”

“Tsk, such a careless boy.”

“Honey, why are you scolding our son on such a happy occasion? You’ve been promoted, so let’s just buy Gyujin a new one to encourage him to study harder. Don’t you think so?”

Perhaps you were also secretly excited, because my father readily nodded in agreement to words that usually wouldn’t have had any effect. One way or another, we were a family that appeared harmonious on the surface.

Right. What I heard yesterday must be false. I wasn’t in my right mind since the moment I was kidnapped, so there was a possibility that I misheard or my memory was distorted. He wasn’t an affectionate father to me, but my belief in his strong sense of duty as a police officer remained unchanged.

The problem was, what if something like this happened again?

Days of inner turmoil followed. Afraid that what I had experienced might repeat itself, I took extra precautions, such as only walking on main roads. Since my daily life was already quite structured, it was easy to avoid situations where I would be alone and become a target. All I had to do was suppress the occasional rebellious feelings that arose.

Setting aside the matter concerning my father, Si Yeonho’s existence became more and more suspicious the more I dwelled on it. How did he know where to find me? What was with the way he so naturally swung that metal pipe? And how did he know my home address when I had never told him?

Could Si Yeonho have known those kidnappers? As soon as I got a new phone, I texted him first, half out of curiosity, half out of fear.

[Yeonho, are you coming to school today?]

[Not coming?]

[Then when are you free? I have something I want to ask you in person.]

“Did he change his number already?”

I was puzzled because I hadn’t received a single reply after contacting the number he had written on my palm. Worried that he might have actually changed his number, I tried calling. Again, only the ringing tone continued, and Si Yeonho didn’t answer my call.

I even sighed dramatically. He seemed reluctant to give me his number back then.

Maybe he deliberately gave me a fake number just to get rid of me. The thought made me feel dejected. He was my lifesaver, but being treated like this was hurtful.

Si Yeonho’s reply came two days later. The content was quite unfriendly.

[In two weeks.]

[I’ll let you know when things are settled.]

“What is he saying?”

I wondered if the reply was actually meant for me. I tried asking further, but Si Yeonho didn’t respond anymore.

✽✽✽

“Huh?”

I came out to take the academy shuttle bus and made eye contact with Si Yeonho. He was leaning against a car with heavily tinted windows.

“Yeonho! What are you doing here without saying anything? You didn’t even reply to my texts.”

“Get in, Sunbae.”

Overjoyed, I followed his words. As I sat in the passenger seat, Si Yeonho stared at me intently.

“You look better than I expected.”

Looking again, I saw he was holding a bottle of honey water in his hand.

“Me?”

“Yes. I thought you’d lost your mind back then.”

“Yeonho, I actually wanted to ask you about that incident.”

“Don’t.”

He curtly interrupted me and started the car. To my question of where we were going, he simply replied, “Home.”

“There shouldn’t be any danger for a while, but I’ll take you home for the time being.”

“But how can you drive? I looked it up, and it seems you have to be at least 18 to get a driver’s license. Did you repeat a few grades? Then, are you… older than me?”

Flustered, my words became a strange mix of formal and informal speech. Si Yeonho, with his usual expressionless face, cleared up my doubts.

“Fake license.”

“I see, is not what I should be saying. What?”

His features weren’t gentle to begin with, but when I questioned him like this, his aura became twice as intimidating as usual. He was definitely younger than me, just by a year, but Si Yeonho was difficult to be comfortable with in many ways.

“Ahem, anyway. Thank you for back then. I mean it.”

“Yes.”

“But did you report what happened, after you took me home? I mean, the people you hit. I was wondering if they were okay, they bled a lot.”

“I don’t know. Do you usually worry about the well-being of people who tried to hurt you?”

Si Yeonho seemed displeased that I brought up that day’s incident again.

Since I couldn’t see him every day, I made an effort to think of another topic. Even aside from the kidnapping, Si Yeonho was still a mystery to me.

“The honey water, did you buy that for me?”

“Yes.”

“Then give it to me. I’ll drink it well. I really like honey water.”

I didn’t particularly have that kind of preference for drinks, but it was my way of trying to appease Si Yeonho. I was also grateful that he had prepared it thoughtfully.

After drinking about half of the honey water, I broached the topic. It was a subject of personal curiosity.

“You know what you said about ghosts before? Honestly, I thought you were joking, but maybe they really exist. How could something like that happen to me…?”

If Si Yeonho’s words were true, it meant that unless I regularly satisfied my accumulated desires, unfortunate things would continue to happen to me.

“But I can’t really do that as a high school student. Yeonho, you seem to know a lot about ghosts, is there any other way to solve this? Like using talismans or something.”

“There is one way.”

I thought he would tell me to shut up with an annoyed look again, but Si Yeonho spoke without any sharp edge to his tone.

“What is it?”

“You can stay with someone like me.”

We arrived home quickly because there was no traffic late at night. As if he had changed his mind, Si Yeonho parked the car in a nearby alley instead of in front of my house, unlike before.

“Someone like you, Yeonho?”

“Someone who, unlike Sunbae, makes ghosts tremble and fear.”

As I opened the car door and got out, the stray cats sitting by the wall quickly ran away. It was strange, as they were usually well taken care of by the neighbors and rarely ran away from people.

“They seem to be avoiding me on their own, but still be careful.”

With those words, the car drove away. I stood there blankly, feeling as if I had been possessed by a ghost.

Staying with him will keep me safe. Does that mean… he wants to be friends?

I didn’t fully understand the nature of that ambiguous feeling at the time. Nor did I understand the meaning of the lukewarm warmth remaining in the empty bottle in my hand.

✽✽✽

We became quite close. At least, that’s what I thought. He often ignored my calls, but sometimes he would send random, perfunctory replies. I was very pleased that this was becoming more frequent.

The more I got to know Si Yeonho, the more I wanted to know about him. Our backgrounds and personalities were very different, but that difference stimulated my curiosity. Perhaps it was because I had grown up like a flower in a greenhouse. I kept finding myself drawn to him, someone so far removed from the norms of ordinary teenagers. Perhaps I was subconsciously craving vicarious satisfaction.

“Yeonho, here!”

I met him at a cafe I sometimes visited to study on weekends. When I waved from a corner table, Si Yeonho walked towards me. The late summer heat was intense, but he didn’t seem bothered. He seemed to particularly like black, and that day he was dressed in black from head to toe.

“You actually came?”

What nonsense are you talking about after calling me here? That’s exactly what his handsome face seemed to say.

“Why did you call me?”

“I told you in the text. I’m studying, so if you’re interested, come.”

“Ah.”

He seemed to have only remembered the part about coming and completely forgotten the rest of the message. The fact that he came empty-handed without even a backpack was proof.

“What do you want to drink? I’ll buy since you came all the way here.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s one drink per person here, so you have to order something.”

Si Yeonho frowned slightly and went to the counter. He returned to the table shortly after, holding a very small cup. His hands were so large that the espresso cup looked even tinier.

Since he probably wouldn’t like it if I called it cute, I changed the subject to something I had been curious about.

“You’re not really thinking about going to college, are you?”

Si Yeonho glanced at the textbooks and various stationery spread out in front of me. I found it more fascinating that he found this strange.

“No.”

Come to think of it, I had never seen him study. From the few things I had overheard, it seemed like he mostly spent his time doing various part-time jobs rather than focusing on his studies.

“It must be tough for you in your own way, but I envy you for not having to study. These days, I think it’s better to start a job that suits your aptitude early on, like you. I still don’t know what my aptitude is.”

“A job that suits my aptitude?”

“Isn’t it?”

Si Yeonho’s expression hardened subtly. He nodded belatedly, making me unsure whether he agreed with me or not.

“Then have you thought about what other jobs you want to do when you become an adult? You’re tall and handsome, so I think you’d do well in a profession like modeling.”

“I haven’t thought about that.”

“Ah, you’re not interested in the entertainment industry.”

Si Yeonho took a sip of the bitter espresso and put the final nail in the coffin.

“I don’t think about the future. I’m not interested in the days ahead.”