Kill Your X Chapter 55

“How long do you want to live?”

I returned the question he had once asked me.

“As long as possible, by Sunbae’s side. Until I’ve seen all the damn things in the world.”

“We can’t have anything more damn happen than what we’re already facing.”

I blurred the truth with a joke. Actually, I had already made a decision a long time ago. If I could, I also wanted to feel him alive with my whole body. The present, where we were breathing together, was too precious. I didn’t want to miss a single moment.

Seo Seunghan had a history of helping me when I was on drugs, and now I know what happened in the past.

“I’ll consider it repaying a debt.”

I knelt between his legs and settled in. I was inwardly overwhelmed with emotion, but until then, I was thinking of taking care of his needs as quickly as possible and finishing, rather than having a proper relationship.

In the first place, what could we do seriously when his body was in this state? Getting angry, pressing him for the truth, those were things to do after he recovered his health.

“Mmm.”

I grabbed the base of his penis with my hand and opened my mouth wide to swallow the head. I sucked on his thing, being careful not to let my teeth touch it as much as possible. Setting aside the complex external situation, the lump of flesh that filled my mouth was satisfying. I used my tongue skillfully to induce excitement. I had eaten a dick a few times before, so the oral sex itself wasn’t that difficult.

Soon, lewd sounds filled the bathroom. Seeing his penis erect as if it would burst, I thought he would cum soon, but his ejaculation was unexpectedly delayed. While thinking that something was strange, I moved my head up and down even more diligently. Even though I swallowed so deeply that I felt nauseous, Seo Seunghan only let out a rare, low moan.

Ha, I’ve done this much, why isn’t he cumming?

I looked up feeling wronged, and our eyes met immediately. Under his wet, disheveled hair, what filled his pitch-black eyes was definitely lust.

I continued the oral sex while making eye contact with him. When I swallowed his testicles whole and then used my tongue to lick up the shaft from the bottom, his thighs tensed. Excited by the touch of his hand on my earlobe, I swallowed his thing again. While I was exploring his dick in a trance, I lost strength and my teeth slightly scraped the surface of his penis. The moment I tried to open my mouth wider, Seo Seunghan ejaculated.

“Oof.”

I hadn’t intended to swallow it, but I missed the timing to pull my head back, so the semen went down my throat. Some of it splashed on my face. Seo Seunghan held the back of my head and made me swallow all the remaining semen in my mouth.

“Ah, it’s fishy.”

The taste of the semen was strong, I guess it had been building up for a while. I was looking for a tissue to clean up, but Seo Seunghan pressed down on my shoulder and started licking my face. A strange sensation arose as his rough, warm tongue touched my skin. I twisted my body slightly, but Seo Seunghan didn’t care and licked up all of his semen that had splashed on my face.

“Mmm. It’s definitely fishy.”

“You’re not a dog, what is this?”

I blurted out the words without thinking and was more surprised myself. Seo Seunghan’s reaction was completely unfazed. He even went a step further and made a shameless request.

“I think I’m getting hard again, can you do it one more time?”

“Stop talking nonsense and get out. I need to shower now.”

“Yes.”

After sending him out, I closed the bathroom door and let out the breath I had been holding. The heat that rose to my face did not subside easily. It wasn’t my first time sucking someone else’s dick, so why was I so excited? I just hoped he hadn’t noticed that my penis was also erect under my clothes.

✽✽✽

When I came out after showering, Seo Seunghan had already applied medicine to his wounds and bandaged them himself. I approached him, drying my hair with a dry towel.

“Shouldn’t the doctor check your wounds again?”

“That would be nice, but there’s a high possibility that he won’t be able to come in the future.”

“Why?”

“His own life is precious to him too. That’s how people are.”

I understood the meaning of his words a beat later. He was aware that the future situation would become more dangerous.

“The doctor who operated on you, CEO Kang sent him, right? Can’t you ask him to help until you’re fully recovered?”

“CEO-nim has already done enough. I might not be able to see him in the future either.”

I had roughly expected it, but it seemed that Seo Seunghan was completely isolated within the organization. To the point where even the person who had stood by his side until a few days ago had turned his back on him.

Sadly, the fact that I knew that didn’t change anything. Helplessness and confusion were entangled like a skein of thread, growing in volume inside me.

“I’ll make you some food. Eat and rest.”

I got dressed and went into the kitchen. A little later, Seo Seunghan ate three bowls of the porridge I brought out. He seemed like a person who didn’t know what appetite was before, so it was amazing to see him eat so well.

‘I want to live now.’

The words he had said a little while ago came to me with a significant meaning. In other words, it meant that he hadn’t been obsessed with eating before because he hadn’t had the will to live. It would be the same reason why he didn’t have any particular hobbies or tastes even though he was twenty-nine.

“I bought some fruit, do you want some for dessert?”

“Yes.”

Seo Seunghan ate a large amount of fruit in an instant. After putting down the fork, he muttered, looking at the empty space.

“Sunbae.”

“Yes?”

“Do you usually get sleepy when you’re full?”

I made eye contact with him, wondering what kind of question this was. Seo Seunghan was serious without a hint of playfulness.

“That’s usually what happens when you’re full. You ate a lot, are you sleepy?”

“Yes.”

Seo Seunghan, who had stood up from his seat, hugged me tightly from behind and answered.

“I’m full. I think I feel good.”

I stroked his forearm, unable to cry or laugh.

A little later, we were lying side by side in the same bed. I said I would sleep separately because he, who wasn’t in good shape, would be uncomfortable, but Seo Seunghan didn’t break his stubbornness that he wanted to sleep with me.

He said he was sleepy because he was full, but in the pitch-black darkness, his eyes shone as if that had never been the case. He was watching me with eyes that had no hint of sleepiness, so after thinking for a long time, I brought it up. I thought I wouldn’t get a chance to ask if not now.

“Seunghan-ah. I’m really sorry to talk about this before you go to sleep.”

“Yes.”

“Si Yeonho… is dead.”

I recited the news I had heard from CEO Kang. Seo Seunghan replied with a blank face.

“I know.”

“You know?”

“I knew from the moment he died.”

He no longer seemed to have any intention of hiding secrets from me. It might be because he had noticed a different kind of atmosphere from me.

“I see.”

“Sunbae must have remembered everything from high school.”

“I think so.”

For a while, silence flowed between us. Seo Seunghan waited for me to sort out my thoughts without rushing me. My heart weakened frequently at his gaze that was directed only at me with a foolish degree of devotion. It took me another few minutes to voice the guess that had become almost a certainty within me.

“If you have any questions, ask me. I’ll answer them.”

With that, Seo Seunghan lightly kissed the back of my hand. Empowered by the softness that didn’t fit the situation, I squeezed out the remaining courage. It seemed like it was the first time I had asked such an absurd question since infancy.

“Seunghan-ah. Then you.”

“Yes.”

Thump, thump. My heart pounded so hard it felt like it would break through my skin. A gentle gaze fell on my face, which was frozen from nervousness.

“Did you really… come from hell?”

To the question I had painstakingly uttered, Seo Seunghan slowly nodded his head.

“Yes.”

“When, no, how did that happen?”

He couldn’t answer the second question right away. His empty eyes chased a distant past that I didn’t know.

Vaguely, I thought that perhaps the memories I had lost were not just from this life.

✽✽✽

The dog did not know how long it had been there.

The dog’s role was to guard the entrance to hell. For reasons it did not know, the gates of hell would occasionally open, and each time, souls with collapsed forms would desperately try to escape. Blocked by the dog standing guard right in front of the gate, the escape usually ended in failure.

What happened to the souls that were caught trying to escape? It could only guess that they did not meet a good end, as it had never seen the same soul come out of the gate twice. Perhaps the shriveled pieces of souls that the demon king sometimes threw to the dog were them.

‘My loyal dog. You have done well today to prevent the souls from leaving hell.’

At the demon king’s favor, the dog lay flat on the ground. It was a day when it had worked a little more than usual.

‘You have done your work well, so you must be rewarded. Eat.’

In the pitch-black hell where no light entered, a rare light bloomed in the dog’s otherwise emotionless eyes. Its nose, which had only been wrinkled from chasing runaway souls, snorted, faithful to its original role for the first time in a long time. Its large tail wagged gently at the appetizing smell.

The reward given by the demon king looked very fresh even on the outside. It was not blackish like the souls it always saw, and it had a fairly clear form and pulsed as if its heart was still beating. The souls that the dog usually ate were cut into small pieces the size of a fingernail and the texture was always crumbly, but that soul looked like juice would burst out if it took a bite.

‘You seem to have an appetite. But there is one condition you must keep in order to eat this.’

The dog looked up at the demon king, drooling. A condition? This was something it had not experienced when it was given the shriveled souls.