Love Born of Pity Chapter 108

Kwon Jiho walked side by side with Do Seungtae. The chirping of insects could be heard from all around. Autumn had deepened so much that it was tilting toward winter. As if Do Seungtae sensed this too, he smiled, saying it was a relief it wasn’t too cold and that a walk in the dead of night wasn’t so bad.

“Alright, let’s hear what you wanted to talk about.”

“…Pardon?”

“It’s written all over your face that you’re full of worries. That you have something to say but don’t know how to bring it up.”

Kwon Jiho nodded at the man who had accurately pinpointed his inner thoughts. He smiled awkwardly and scratched his cheek. So, how should he talk about this? About his own deficiencies. Unable to open his mouth right away, he walked a few more steps, organizing the tangled words in his head.

Do Seungtae, worried about the dark expression on the young and gentle face, waited patiently without finding the time tedious.

“…I think of myself as a person who is lacking.”

“Where are you lacking? The you that I see is a person so full he’s overflowing.”

“That’s not true. You, Grandfather, and… the misters have just looked upon me favorably. You’ve treated me warmly, someone who has learned nothing and has nothing. I don’t think I’ve ever properly expressed my gratitude for that part…. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.”

Feeling a sense of unease at Kwon Jiho’s words, which sounded like a farewell from someone about to leave, Do Seungtae stopped walking and held Kwon Jiho’s hand.

“Child.”

“…You might not like me as a match for the President, and I was worried about what I would do if you were only accepting me reluctantly because of the baby… the baby. I’ve heard that while dating is one thing, for marriage, you should meet someone of a similar level. Both in terms of finances and intellectual level. But I’m not on a similar level, I fall far… very far short.”

The large, warm hand that held his own tightly reminded him of Do Yeonjae.

“I asked for help first, and the President helped me without asking a single thing. I was grateful. Grateful and thankful…. Everything was difficult for me, but he looked so amazing, solving things so easily. I wanted to rely on him. It was impossible… not to like him.”

“…”

“I thought that as long as I was within this person’s boundaries, nothing would be difficult. I was planning to stay by his side until he told me he didn’t want me anymore… but then I heard that he was getting married.”

At the story that continued in a low voice, Do Seungtae sighed. Just listening to it was suffocating. He wanted to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, but that all the blame lay with Do Yeonjae, who made him rely on him like that. This gentle and good-hearted person still believed it was all his own fault.

“A relationship like this is bound to end someday, but I thought it would be eternal. If the President had gone ahead with the marriage, I would have been the shameless other man continuing an affair, and even though you all know that, you’re all so good to me…”

“Jiho.”

“You, Grandfather, and the misters, you all know how I came to live with the President, and what… what kind of acts I performed in exchange for help, so how can you accept me? I keep finding myself thinking about it. If I were a member of the President’s family, I think I would hate me, but you’re all so warm and kind… I keep pretending not to know, telling myself it doesn’t matter whether it’s sincere or not. Because I’m so cluelessly happy.”

Kwon Jiho slowly brought out all the words he had kept inside. He felt that if he met Do Seungtae’s eyes, he would cry again and be unable to speak properly, so he couldn’t look at his face even once until he finished his story.

Afraid he would be hurt if he saw his expression. Afraid his heart would ache if he knew he was disappointed. Why did this shamelessness cling to him so stubbornly?

“Jiho.”

“…Yes.”

“Do you remember what I said when I first brought you here? The part about having looked into everything.”

“…I remember everything.”

Do Seungtae gently patted the back of the young omega’s hand, who couldn’t even meet his eyes despite having committed no crime.

“Marriage can fall apart very easily, you know. It wasn’t called off on the day of the ceremony, it was settled long before that, so this is a fortunate thing, not something to be sorry for. Don’t you think? It would be more terrible if that Yeonjae boy had proceeded with the marriage and then realized his feelings for you. Don’t worry about it so much. It just wasn’t meant to be. And it’s certainly not your fault.”

The arranged marriage, which had been decided long ago, had been called off, but he said it just wasn’t meant to be. Do Seungtae’s expression and tone were serious and firm as he told him it was absolutely not his fault.

“Why are you the only one keeping things of the past in your heart? It’s something none of us give a second thought to. Could it be… that Yeonjae is just not good enough for you to marry? You don’t want to live with us as family, but am I forcing you again?”

“…No, that’s, that’s…”

“However your beginning was, that is not a problem for us. You just made the best choice you could at the time. Don’t keep it in your heart. Right now, you should only be worrying about what would be good to eat for a late-night snack, what delicious things you’ll eat all day tomorrow, and what to do if you can’t eat delicious things because you’re too full. If you have time left over, you can think about that Yeonjae boy, too… just a tiny bit.”

He casually brought up Do Yeonjae’s name, but in the end, an apology was added to his words. Along with sincere condolences for all the heartache he had been through. He hadn’t known that he would be worrying about such things even while suffering from morning sickness.

“…Thank you.”

“I’m the one who is thankful.”

“…I think I can meet with the President now.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to pretend to think about it a little more, to drag it out? That boy needs to be on edge as much as you’ve suffered. Is it okay to meet that wretched boy this easily? Isn’t it satisfying to see him about to die from being on edge all by himself right now?”

Do Seungtae said that teasing him a little more would help ease his hurt feelings. However, Kwon Jiho’s feelings had already softened to some extent while talking with Do Seungtae. He thought he would meet him, have a thorough conversation, and if he still didn’t sense any change in him, then he could decide what to do going forward.

“The way I see it, that Yeonjae boy has a long way to go. A long way to go before he becomes a decent human being.”

“…Still, I want to meet him and talk.”

“What am I to do with you being so good-natured. It’s a harsh world, but I suppose it’s a relief that Yeonjae is a wicked one.”

Separate from how coldly he had treated Do Yeonjae until now, a sense of affection could be felt in Do Seungtae’s voice.

“In any case, we will always be on your side. That Geonho boy doesn’t show it, but he’s very fond of you. He says you’re so cute every time he sees you. He’s a funny one. He said the same thing about Hyunsu, that he was so cute he couldn’t keep his wits about him.”

Kwon Jiho’s cheeks turned a rosy red. A delighted voice was heard as he smiled faintly and murmured that he didn’t know. It had been so long since he had received affection from adults that he felt dazed and happy. The devoted care and concern were all warm.

Am I allowed to be this happy? he thought, staring blankly at the moon in the sky, when he suddenly remembered something he had forgotten.

“Ah, ah.”

“What is it? Do you want to eat something?”

“My… my younger brother. My brother…. He’ll be worried since he can’t contact me.”

Only then did Do Seungtae also remember that Kwon Jiho had one remaining family member. When his whereabouts were unknown, he had received a report that Do Yeonjae was protecting him. The word was ‘protection’, but he knew it was effectively confinement. He doubted he would have done anything bad to the boy, but it was still necessary to check.

“You want to see him, don’t you?”

“I want to check if he’s been doing well.”

“Alright, I’ll arrange it.”

After slowly circling the garden once, Do Seungtae brought Kwon Jiho to the front of the annex and gestured for him to go inside. He added that he should let him know anytime if he thought of something he wanted to eat. Whether it was dawn or late at night, it didn’t matter.

“Strawberries and crackers or… something like that, I heard. Hyunsu packed some things that don’t have a strong smell, so take a look.”

“Yes, good night.”

“You have sweet dreams, too.”

He had told him to go on ahead, but Do Seungtae stood there steadfastly. Only after Kwon Jiho had gone inside did he turn his steps toward the main house.

Kwon Jiho felt his body melt languidly in the warm air. It wasn’t cold, but it was clear the season was changing, and the warmth was welcome. As soon as he sat on the sofa, he was about to lie down when he noticed the strawberries, various types of biscuits, and a note written in neat handwriting on the table, and he reached out his hand.

The short memo listed what other fruits besides strawberries had been prepared and put in the refrigerator, and it contained hopes and concerns that he would eat well. There was even a kind greeting to see him in the morning. At this rate, he was in big trouble, as he might end up liking Do Yeonjae’s family more than him.

He was also curious how, among such affectionate people, only Do Yeonjae had become such a cold adult.

Was he like that when he was young, too? He wanted to know about his childhood, which he had never encountered.