Love Born of Pity Chapter 117

I swear I did nothing wrong. Do Yeonjae was blameless. He could not tell him what he had been doing, but he had not done anything to be ashamed of in front of Kwon Jiho.

“It’s true. So please don’t cry.”

Do Yeonjae supported Kwon Jiho, whose sniffling sounds were ever so faint, and sat him down on the bed before moving about busily. He took off his jacket and tossed it aside, then left the bedroom and headed straight for the kitchen. He found a glass bowl and took it out in advance, then pulled out the lemon sherbet shaved ice he had put in the freezer and scooped some out.

Will he be able to eat it? The fact that he was on an empty stomach bothered him. It might be too sour, what should I do? After a moment of contemplation, he brought it in with some water. Kwon Jiho, looking startled, quickly put something down.

“The lemon shaved ice I got for takeout earlier. It hasn’t melted at all.”

“…Thank you.”

“Does my jacket smell of something?”

“…”

Kwon Jiho ducked his head low to hide his devastated expression. He avoided eye contact as much as possible and clutched tightly at the piece of clothing he had hastily hidden.

“Try some.”

Do Yeonjae finally understood what it meant for one’s heart to ache from cuteness. Yes, his heart was throbbing. Unfortunately, Do Yeonjae didn’t realize that this throbbing resembled the pain he felt from the aftereffects of the imprinting and from forcibly suppressing his rut. He simply thought it was because Kwon Jiho was so lovable.

“…Again.”

“Are you worried you might throw up?”

Kwon Jiho nodded in response to the question. His stomach was still churning, and his mouth felt dry and unpleasant. He did want to eat something sour and cool, but he was afraid that if he put something in his mouth, he might get nauseous again.

“It’s okay. You can spit it out on the floor, I don’t mind.”

“…”

“Should we try some water first, then?”

Kwon Jiho, whose gaze had been fixed on the offered spoon, shook his head. He hesitated, then reached out his hand. It took a long while for him to scoop up the moderately melted shaved ice and put it in his mouth. Do Yeonjae hid his anxiousness and encouraged him to eat. With the corners of his eyes and the tip of his nose red, Kwon Jiho hesitated before finally putting the shaved ice in his mouth. His expression was strange. It was hard to be sure whether it was okay or not.

“…Spit it out.”

Do Yeonjae reflexively reached out his hand. Seeing Kwon Jiho’s expression contort, he cupped his palm under his chin. His gaze was fixed on the lips that might open at any moment.

“Spit it out, it’s okay.”

“…No.”

Just then, Kwon Jiho shook his head. The ice that entered his mouth melted in an instant, soon leaving only a refreshing tartness. It was a taste that was eye-opening in a different way. The aftertaste was sweet. The gloomy feeling from crying just moments before was forgotten, and it was so delicious that it jolted him to his senses.

“You mean it’s okay?”

“It’s delicious.”

“There’s more. A lot more. Should I go get more?”

His voice was gentle as he asked. And for some reason, he sounded excited. Kwon Jiho moved his arm, relentlessly putting the shaved ice into his mouth as he shook his head. It was because he worried that even if it was delicious now, it might not be if he ate it later.

The glass containing the shaved ice was now empty. Thinking he should get more so Kwon Jiho could keep eating, Do Yeonjae got up from his seat. Seeing him eat well made him happy. Just watching him eat something so smoothly felt as if all the fatigue of the day was melting away.

“You’ll eat more, right?”

“…Just a little.”

“I’ll go get it, so you can finish what’s there.”

Do Yeonjae moved before he even heard Kwon Jiho’s answer. He quickly went into the kitchen. He took out all the shaved ice he had put away earlier and put it in a large glass bowl. Worried that Kwon Jiho might get tired of it if it looked like too much, he piled it high and arranged it neatly before heading straight for the bedroom.

“Did you finish it all?”

“…It’s delicious.”

“How are you feeling? You don’t want to talk about that yet?”

His eyes, still a little wet and glistening, glanced at Do Yeonjae before quickly looking away. The tone was like one used to soothe a small child. He had always been a man whose words were crueler than his actions, so it felt awkward for him to ask about his feelings so kindly like this.

“Why.”

“…It’s nothing.”

He didn’t do it before because he didn’t need to, even though he could have done it like this. His mood, which had improved with the sweet and sour taste, sank again. He himself knew best that nothing good came from comparing things to the past, but he could not help it. The fact that the subject of comparison was, of all things, his past self, was truly a depressing matter.

“Mr. Kwon Jiho.”

“…”

“I will try harder every day. Every time you make that face, I’ll regret my past actions and treat you better. So I hope you’ll only be upset for a little while and then forget about it quickly… but I’m worried that will be difficult.”

Kwon Jiho, who had been mechanically pushing shaved ice into his mouth, lifted his head to meet his gaze for a moment before dropping it. Even unconsciously, he was still tightly clutching Do Yeonjae’s jacket in one hand. Do Yeonjae, who had been staring at Kwon Jiho’s face, which exuded a precarious aura due to his weight loss, carefully opened his mouth.

“Does my scent help you?”

“…I’m not sure.”

Kwon Jiho, who had been continuously scooping up the shaved ice, felt the intense gaze on him. He debated whether to raise his head and meet his eyes or eat a little more, but in the end, he put down his spoon.

“It’s a little… I mean… I think it helps when I feel queasy. It’s not that I get dizzy from morning sickness, but my vision wavers like this.”

His slender, pale fingers drew a wave in the air.

“It feels like only my eyes have been submerged in water.”

“What if I hold you? I have more of my scent on me than the jacket.”

“…”

“Wouldn’t that be even better?”

It was not a question completely devoid of ulterior motives. If one were to ask who wanted it more, it was obviously him. The shaved ice he had brought out again was also starting to run out. It was the right time to get a little clingy.

Unlike the anxious Do Yeonjae, Kwon Jiho, who had been delaying his answer while keeping his hands and mouth busy, let out a sigh and nodded his head.

“…That’s right.”

“Then shouldn’t we hug often? For your sake, of course. If I can help with your morning sickness, it’s good for you to use me.”

Do Yeonjae took the glass bowl from Kwon Jiho’s hands and pulled his light body toward him. He had become so thin and small that he was buried in his embrace. He was afraid he might break his waist if he hugged him too tightly. As he breathed in the pleasant scent to his heart’s content, his chest tingled. He felt a throbbing pain once again. Stronger and more painful than usual.

“…Director?”

A rough breath and a pained groan escaped from him as he gasped. Surprised by the hand clutching at his chest, Kwon Jiho pulled his body away from the embrace and immediately checked his face. The beautiful face was completely contorted.

“D-Director…?”

“Hoo, ugh…”

It felt as if someone had shoved a hand into his chest and was tearing it apart. The agonizing sensation made him clench his teeth automatically.

“It’s nothing, serious. If you look inside my jacket, my phone is… Contact Chief Kim and tell him to come now.”

The throbbing pain came in waves. Do Yeonjae stumbled without being able to finish his sentence and then closed his eyes. He knew he should not lean on such a frail body, but he could not control his movements.

Kwon Jiho, flustered, scrambled to hold him. Director, Director—he wanted to answer the calling voice, but even the slightest movement felt like his chest would be ripped apart. The sound of his own ragged breathing echoed unpleasantly in his ears. He struggled to support his body weight with an arm braced on the bed and wiped away the sweat beading on his forehead.

“Haa… hooh. Mr. Kwon Jiho.”

“…”

“My pheromones, I think my pheromones are going to leak, so take the jacket, and go outside. Tell Chief Kim, to come… Just tell him to come. And you, don’t stay here, go home, okay? With your grandfather. Don’t be alone.”

Uncontrolled pheromones began to gush out from his body, which was instantly drenched in sweat. Do Yeonjae pushed Kwon Jiho’s shoulder and told him to leave quickly.

“Quickly, leave. Go out and… call him. The phone. I’m okay.”

He forced a smile to reassure Kwon Jiho. But tears were already welling up in his wide, startled eyes. Hurry. After he urged him once more, Kwon Jiho, though trembling, slowly began to move. He waved at the face that kept looking back.

As soon as Kwon Jiho was safely out of the bedroom, Do Yeonjae’s arm gave way. His heavy body slumped directly onto the bed.

♬⋆.˚

By the time Do Yeonjae regained consciousness, he had already been moved to the hospital. Only the steady beeping of a machine and the hum of a humidifier were quietly audible. He stared at the white ceiling, blinking his eyes slowly. He moved the hand that was resting neatly on the bed and felt his chest.

Did I catch some serious disease? What if I did? I finally got to be with Kwon Jiho, am I going to die and leave him all alone? Which hospital is the best for heart transplant surgery? Are there any donor hearts available? That was his first thought upon waking. But even that quickly vanished at the presence he sensed.

“…Ah.”

“Are you alright?”

Kwon Jiho, he did not know how long he had been sitting there, was looking at him with swollen eyes. He had thought he was alone in the hospital room because it was so quiet, but it was just the two of them, Kwon Jiho and him. Do Yeonjae let out a laugh without realizing it. He felt so good that his worries about having a serious illness seemed pointless.

“…This is nice. Seeing Mr. Kwon Jiho.”

“You can… laugh right now?”