It Begins with Isaac – Chapter 15.1

Author: nicotine

The entire empire was abuzz with new tidings. Every newspaper and radio tirelessly repeated the same name.

“So, it wasn’t Lord Valery who killed Martis?”

“That’s what they say. Lord Valery himself confirmed it. What was the family name again? It was one I’d never heard before.”

“I’ve neither heard nor seen such a family.”

“Oh, right! Richard! It was Richard!”

Kaine was on his way back from meeting Princess Bride in Valery’s stead. He turned his head at the sound of a familiar name echoing from the street. Two middle-aged men, who appeared to be nobles, were excitedly discussing a newspaper, spittle flying as they spoke. It was the same newspaper Kaine held in his hand. A newspaper emblazoned with Asil’s name in large print was readily available at any shop.

Kaine unfolded the paper and read the article. He had harbored no small number of questions while obediently carrying out Valery’s seemingly absurd orders, but as he read the paper he held in his hands, he began to understand what his superior had intended. Why Valery hadn’t pressed charges against Asil or issued a public wanted notice now became clear, revealing his true motives.

Asil Richard, who had played a pivotal role in ending the war by killing Martis, had lost his memory in the battle against the kingdom’s forces and roamed the empire. Colonel Grekosha had unexpectedly reunited with a subordinate he thought dead, employing the capital’s finest doctors to restore Asil Richard’s memory. The imperial court, recognizing Asil Richard’s contributions, appointed him a second lieutenant. The article, which could be summarized thus, was merely a script fabricated by Valery, yet everyone eagerly listened to the tale of the dramatically emerged new hero.

It seemed Valery had decided to fully attribute the war’s success to Asil. If Valery’s words were true, since Asil had killed Martis, it was less about transferring credit and more about glory finally finding its rightful owner. Kaine recalled Valery, bleeding profusely from a pierced abdomen, the loose ropes binding his limbs, and Martis, dead and slumped at Valery’s feet. Indeed, Valery had been incapacitated, so Asil’s contribution appeared genuine.

Ceding the credit for killing Martis to Asil did not tarnish Valery’s honor. Kaine couldn’t guarantee that no one would dare demand Valery’s colonel rank be demoted, but any criticism would likely remain hushed whispers among themselves. Martis’s existence had merely been a convenient pretext for Valery’s promotion; even without it, his appointment as a field-grade officer in record time was a foregone conclusion.

Valery, roaming the frontiers with a gun and diving into war, was not of the same stock as others. He was royalty. He could not be treated the same as an ordinary soldier.

But Kaine thought that, even if Valery was unbothered, there would undoubtedly be those who would trouble him.

“If only I could get promoted…”

What good was meeting the princess alone or serving as Valery’s aide? He was still just a lieutenant. Above him were ranks he had to revere as superiors. Imagining captains, majors, lieutenant colonels, and even division or corps commanders hounding him for details of the incident made Kaine dizzy.

Even Princess Bride, with whom he had just spoken, had bombarded him with all sorts of questions.

“To think that recruit really killed Martis—it’s hard to believe. It’s not a lie, is it?”

“Since it’s the colonel’s word, it must be true, Your Highness.”

“I thought he was just some pretty boy Valery kept around, but he must have some skill. Well, fine. I owe a lot to the recruit—no, Second Lieutenant Richard. I’ll summon him soon to commend him…”

The matter had escalated somewhat. As expected, it was nothing but exhausting for Kaine, with no joy in it.

“No, he’s a hero of the empire… Instead of this, how about holding a commissioning ceremony at the palace? A grand one, I mean.”

“Your Highness, that’s a bit…”

The grand commissioning ceremony Princess Bride spoke of was little different from hosting a lavish banquet, inviting the capital’s prominent nobles and military officers. Wary of recent rumors that the third prince was mingling in social circles, the princess clapped her hands, marveling at her own plan. Otherwise, she would never willingly host a palace banquet that only drained the treasury and caused trouble. Eager to publicly declare Valery as part of her faction, Bride’s eyes sparkled as she smiled brightly at Kaine.

“Convey the message to the colonel.”

Kaine, acutely aware that Bride and Valery were cousins, nodded with a pale face, feeling the weight of it all. The thought of being scolded by Valery for stirring up trouble made his head spin. As he pondered, Kaine grew resentful, wondering why he always had to suffer for the messes Valery and Asil created. At the same time, his heart grew restless, wondering how long he’d have to keep running such errands, and he stood before the princess with moistened eyes.

In an empire that produced tens of thousands of military academy graduates each year, holding a second lieutenant’s commissioning ceremony under palace auspices was highly exceptional. Killing Martis was undoubtedly a significant achievement, but some whispered that the fanfare was excessive. Even the emperor reproached the princess for stirring up unnecessary trouble, but Bride steadfastly pushed forward with the ceremony.

If Valery had dismissed it as nonsense and declared he wouldn’t attend, she might have backed down willingly. However, Valery readily accepted Bride’s proposal. He even suggested holding it at the Crystal Palace, located in the central garden of the imperial palace. The Crystal Palace, neither too large nor too small, often hosted modest banquets each season. It was indeed fitting for a second lieutenant’s commissioning ceremony, so Bride eagerly adopted Valery’s suggestion.

“Second Lieutenant Richard, congratulations on your commissioning.”

The ceremony concluded quickly. Representing the emperor, Bride addressed the gathered guests, highlighting Asil’s exploits and explaining the exceptional reasons for his special promotion. The ceremony ended with the protagonist reciting the imperial military commissioning oath alone, after which Princess Bride lightly patted Asil’s shoulder.

Once the formal ceremony concluded in its stiff atmosphere, the invited nobles and officers gathered in small circles. The clinking of glasses, bursts of lively laughter, and hushed whispers filled the hall. The princess headed to the balcony for a private conversation with Valery. Before following Bride, Valery lightly patted Asil’s back and leaned close to his ear.

“Relax and rest. I’ll be back soon.”

Realizing a moment too late how intimate the gesture was for a superior, Asil startled and stepped away from Valery. Valery, who had reflexively tried to wrap his arm around Asil’s waist, raised his lips in a displeased smirk.

“Why are you pulling away?”

“There are too many eyes…”

Fearing Valery might stubbornly pull him closer, Asil quickly backed away. Fortunately, they stood in the shadow of a dark staircase, but this was the imperial palace, with countless watching eyes, so he couldn’t easily let his guard down. Enduring malicious rumors under Valery’s control in the insular academy was one thing, but being the subject of gossip at a palace banquet was an entirely different matter. Asil’s face paled, and Valery, watching him evade his touch, narrowed his eyes and clicked his tongue. Contrary to Asil’s fears that he might act recklessly, Valery grimaced, let out an irritated sigh, and waved his hand at Asil.

“Go.”

As soon as Valery gave permission, Asil hurriedly bowed and walked toward the wall. Glancing back, he saw Valery following Bride into the balcony. Only after seeing two soldiers guarding the area with red curtains did Asil breathe a sigh of relief.

Leaning against the wall, Asil reached for a table nearby. Unbeknownst to him, he must have been quite tense, as his hand picking up a glass of champagne was clammy. He touched the cool surface of the glass and sipped the champagne. The sweet liquor swirled in his parched mouth. Asil drank slowly, scanning the hall.

He felt the occasional glances directed at him, but no one approached to strike up a conversation. It made sense—a sudden appearance from an obscure rural family, revealed to be the one who killed Martis, and favored by Valery. With the princess herself overseeing the commissioning ceremony, it was only natural for people to be wary. Still, it wasn’t exactly pleasant to see them clustering together, gawking at him like an animal in a cage.

Asil quietly speculated about what they were whispering. They might be gossiping about his unheard-of family or questioning his relationship with Valery. Had they stood too close earlier? He’d pulled away quickly, but Valery’s lips had grazed his earlobe. Asil ran a hand over his face. Alongside his tension, an inexplicable anxiety made his heart race. Could they know?

The First Military Academy was located in the capital, and many of its cadets were scions of prominent capital families. It was hard to believe they hadn’t blabbed about Valery to their parents—those gossipmongers were worse than chatterboxes who’d float even if thrown into water. With Coleman leading the charge, rumors had spread in mere days. Perhaps some among them already knew Asil and Valery shared a bed. They might not see him as the empire’s hero or a newly commissioned officer but as a prostitute who’d climbed this far by selling his body.

He should have firmly refused the commissioning ceremony. Though he’d been dragged here by Valery’s insistence that he wouldn’t dare defy an imperial command, the piercing gazes that followed his every move made him increasingly uneasy.

“Why not relax and enjoy yourself?”

Asil, anxiously chewing his lip while staring across the hall, snapped his head toward the voice beside him. Kaine stood just a few steps away. He raised a hand to cover his mouth, yawned widely, and leaned against the wall with his arms crossed.

“The star of the banquet standing there looking like he’s about to collapse—does that make sense?”

“Ah… I’m sorry.”

It was the first time Asil had spoken directly with Kaine since reuniting with Valery. They’d crossed paths a few times in the mansion, but always with Valery, so Asil had awkwardly nodded or turned away to slip off quickly. From Asil’s perspective, Kaine was, and always had been, the most uncomfortable person to face. The thought that Kaine knew every detail of his relationship with Valery made it impossible for Asil to even lift his head in his presence.

“The uniform suits you well.”

Kaine, who had been gazing boredly at the hall, threw out another remark. Not being a talkative person, his comment caught Asil off guard, prompting a lengthy, fumbling response.

“Thank you. I heard you brought it.”

“I just delivered it. What’s there to thank me for?”

“Still…”

“You think I’m the one who ordered the color, chose the brooch for the chest, and paid for it all? Save your thanks for him.”

Kaine’s pointed remark silenced Asil. He hadn’t thanked Kaine out of ignorance.

Asil recalled a few days ago when Valery had handed him a luxurious teal uniform, urging him to try it on immediately. Taking it in a daze, the glossy fabric unfolded smoothly under his palm without a single crease. The uniform, adorned with gold buttons and epaulettes, was surprisingly light despite its embellishments. Not everyone wore such fine uniforms for commissioning ceremonies. Crafting a custom uniform was exorbitantly expensive. The buttons were all gold, and the intricate patterns were stitched with gleaming gold thread. Asil suddenly remembered the uniform Valery had given him before the vacation. That, too, had been so lavish he feared damaging it—a banquet uniform of exorbitant value.

“…Thank you.”

Unlike the banquet uniform, this was meant for a one-time commissioning ceremony. Despite living off Valery’s food and clothes in his mansion, Asil felt a renewed sense of burden. He mumbled his thanks. Though he hadn’t asked or wished for the gift, he offered gratitude out of courtesy, and Valery looked at Asil with an odd expression.

“You like this sort of thing?”

“Yes… It’s nice.”

Asil replied as he changed. Whether he liked it or not, Valery didn’t seem inclined to leave until he tried it on, so Asil quickly donned the uniform and turned to him. Spreading his arms as if to ask if it was fine now, Valery, covering his lower face with his hand, eyed Asil slantwise.

“Colonel?”

“…Hmm.”

Despite urging him to try it on, Valery showed little reaction. He stared at Asil for a long while, then cleared his throat and lowered his hand.

“This will do for the commissioning uniform. I’ll have a banquet uniform made too, so wait for it.”

“No need. This is enough.”

“You said you liked it.”

“…What?”

“Just take it. Don’t make a fuss.”

Valery adjusted the shoulders of Asil’s uniform and drew closer.

“Should I call you Second Lieutenant Richard outside now?”

It was a far more pleasing title than calling his name intimately in public. Asil nodded quickly, and Valery finally burst into laughter. He lifted Asil, now in uniform, and sat him on the windowsill, kissing him for a long while. Valery seemed slightly aroused seeing Asil in the uniform. That day, still in the uniform, Asil was swept up by Valery and quickly…

“Second Lieutenant?”

Lost in thought while talking with Kaine, Asil snapped his head up, noticing a group approaching. Young nobles were smiling at him. Feeling uneasy, he glanced around, but Kaine had already left. A noble lady in a bright dress gently tugged at Asil’s arm.

Having only known Asil Richard through newspapers, most of the banquet’s invitees imagined him as a burly, bearded, rock-like man. He had single-handedly dispatched Martis, whom even Valery couldn’t kill, and wandered the empire. Their biases blinded them.

“That’s him?”

Thus, until Asil stood before Princess Bride to receive her commendation, they merely wondered about the unfamiliar young man at Valery’s side, never dreaming he was the banquet’s protagonist. When Asil ascended the stairs to approach the princess, they were puzzled why this youth was stepping forward without reason. Only when he opened his mouth to recite the oath, gazing out at the hall, did they gasp and widen their eyes.

“I, Asil of the Richard family, stand on this land as an honored soldier of Tarian…”

The nobles whispered among themselves, exchanging words. That Asil Richard was a young man wasn’t particularly surprising. But his actual appearance was so vastly different from their imaginings that their mouths gaped indiscreetly.

“He’s… handsome.”

Kiana, the youngest daughter of the Seren family, whispered to her father, her cheeks flushing. Having recently secured a marriage between her elder brother and the princess, aligning with the imperial family, Count Seren’s pride was sky-high. Eager to marry his only unwed daughter to another imperial relative, he’d rushed to the banquet with her upon hearing Valery would attend.

“Enough. Don’t set your sights on some nobody. He’s just a second lieutenant.”

Even as he spoke, Count Seren couldn’t tear his eyes from Asil’s face.

“A pretty face is all he’s got. A real man…”

Kiana turned away from her father, who began a stern lecture with old-fashioned mutterings. She scoffed inwardly at his vain ambitions. Though unspoken, she keenly felt her father’s eagerness to court Colonel Grekosha.

“Marry a man that terrifying?”

Kiana glanced at the colonel standing in the shadowy, dim space beneath the stairs. His expression was obscured by the darkness, but his large, solid frame and the fierce glint in his bright eyes instantly marked him as Colonel Grekosha. Like a wild beast hunting only at night, he stood in the shadows, closely observing Second Lieutenant Richard as he recited the oath.

Once the oath and ceremony concluded, the lieutenant descended the stairs. As he rounded a corner, the colonel suddenly grabbed his arm and pulled him close. The lieutenant, drawn from the bright lights to the dark staircase’s side, stumbled as if he might fall, but the colonel steadied him, patting his broad back as if caressing it. The contact seemed overly intimate. The claim that the colonel favored his subordinate wasn’t false, as the two stood close, conversing. As the colonel brought his lips near the lieutenant’s ear, the lieutenant startled and stepped back. Kiana, thinking the reaction overly sensitive, gasped upon seeing the colonel’s face fully revealed in the dim light.

“Strange.”

Blinking once, the colonel’s expression, glimpsed covertly, vanished from her mind. Kiana turned from the colonel, striding toward the balcony after the princess, and looked back at the lieutenant. He now stood against the wall, leisurely sipping champagne.

“Kiana! We’re going to greet the lieutenant. Want to come?”

Still fixated on the lieutenant, Kiana followed the group urging her, approaching him. As the distance closed, his face, lost in some unknown worry, came into sharper focus. His half-lowered eyes revealed dense, trembling lashes. His refined features were shadowed, but even his melancholic air seemed to enhance his beauty rather than diminish it.

Second Lieutenant Richard was truly handsome. Acknowledging her attraction to his face, Kiana quietly spoke to him.

“Second Lieutenant?”

Raising his head at her words, the lieutenant brushed back the loose hair falling over his forehead. His curly black hair puffed up and settled. Kiana secretly thought even his hair suited him perfectly as she gently grasped his firm arm.

“Join us for a chat. We have so many questions for you.”

At Kiana’s boldness, the group beside her quietly closed their mouths. Having never seen her show such interest in a man, they hesitated, wondering if they should give her space. The lieutenant, initially hesitant at her proposal, soon followed the group willingly. Leading him to a table in the center of the hall, Kiana turned her back on her father, who was glaring and shaking his head furiously, and smiled.

“Are you staying in the capital now, Second Lieutenant?”

“…Yes. For now, yes.”

She’d noticed during his oath, but his voice was exceptionally pleasant. Low and soft, it made everything he said sound deliberate. In truth, he only gave short, perfunctory responses to Kiana’s words.

The conversation didn’t flow easily. The lieutenant looked uncomfortable, glancing across the hall or repeatedly eyeing the balcony as if longing for fresh air. Kiana downed her champagne in gulps and held her breath for a few seconds. Heat rushed to her face. Touching her flushed cheeks, she grabbed the lieutenant’s wrist.

“I think I’m a bit drunk.”

Kiana deliberately stumbled slightly. The group, realizing she was putting her all into engaging the lieutenant, raised their voices from afar, joking that they couldn’t handle a drunk Kiana and that she needed to be dealt with before she got sick. Worried she might actually vomit, the lieutenant, looking flustered, steadied her.

“Are you alright?”

“My stomach feels bad… Could you take me to the balcony?”

In truth, three bottles of wine were nothing to Kiana, but she could think of no other way to get closer to the stoic lieutenant. She felt pathetic for resorting to such cheap tactics, but she also wanted to leave a strong impression on him. Leaning against him, she headed to the balcony. The gazes following her were welcome. She hoped her father, with his overreaching ambitions, would see this and give up. The lieutenant was more than suitable as a son-in-law.

“Feeling better?”

Confirming an empty balcony, the lieutenant led Kiana inside. Leaning on the railing, gazing at the darkening garden, she turned to him. No matter how she looked, she wanted him. His handsome appearance was certainly appealing, but his reserved demeanor and earnest air were even more striking. It was a feeling she’d never experienced with the capital’s shallow suitors she’d been forced to meet.

With his stature, desirable looks, impeccable skills, and Colonel Grekosha as his backer, Second Lieutenant Richard was sure to soon be a sought-after bachelor among the capital’s unwed noblewomen. She had to secure him before someone else did. No man had ever captivated her like this. Kiana couldn’t let him slip away.

“Second Lieutenant, may I call you by your name?”

“What?”

“Asil… Is it alright if I call you Asil?”

Glancing back at the curtains, the lieutenant’s expression hardened as he looked at Kiana.

“If you’re sober, I’ll take my leave.”

“Wait, just a moment!”

At Kiana’s plea, Asil, seeing through her intentions, looked awkwardly at the small hand holding him.

Since entering the balcony, Asil couldn’t focus on Kiana’s words. His nerves were on edge, fearing Valery might appear suddenly. He loathed Asil doing anything without permission. He disliked anyone showing interest in Asil or approaching him carelessly. Come to think of it, Valery seemed to dislike anyone connected to Asil. This situation, if Valery saw it, wouldn’t likely pass quietly. Asil tried to shake off Kiana’s wrist but, feeling it impolite, spoke courteously.

“Will you let go?”

Staring at her quietly, Kiana, as if insulted, flushed and dropped her hand. Asil bowed lightly and turned. The murmurs outside grew louder. With his cheeks paling in unease, Asil quickened his steps. Just then, Kiana, unwilling to let him go, grabbed his hand tightly, and the curtains fluttered violently.

“Asil! Don’t leave, stay a bit longer…”

Raising her voice urgently, Kiana saw Asil turn to her, the wide-open curtains, the bright light streaming through, and the colonel, hunched in the balcony, glaring down at them.

“…Oh.”

Too shocked to continue, Kiana felt as if she’d been caught in an affair, though she’d done nothing wrong. She recoiled from Asil. The colonel’s gaze, fixed on her, was not just cold but radiated a terrifying menace, as if she were a sworn enemy. He glared as if he’d tear her apart, then turned to Asil, whose face was pale enough to faint.

“What, Asil?”

The colonel spoke. Kiana realized for the first time how harsh a human voice could be.

“You’ve already given her permission to use your name?”

As if interrogating a cheating lover, not just a name, the colonel lowered his voice and berated Asil. Even more baffling was Asil’s reaction, panicking as if truly caught in infidelity. The balcony’s tense atmosphere was suffocating, but Kiana, feeling she had to intervene before things worsened, quickly spoke.

“Colonel, Asil has done nothing wrong. I was too drunk and…”

“Did I ask you?”

The colonel cut her off with a voice that would’ve seemed kinder even to a dim-witted subordinate. Though he was royalty and she a noble, making him her superior, the near-contemptuous tone left her reeling with humiliation. Ignoring her entirely, the colonel turned fully to Asil. Blocked by his large frame, Asil looked inexplicably small. Despite his height and build, before Valery, Asil seemed as fragile as a rabbit cornered by a hound.

“Kiana… you should go.”

“Ha!”

As Asil spoke, the colonel sneered coldly. Despite his tense, fearful expression, Asil stepped aside to let Kiana pass easily. She walked between them and left the balcony. Just before the curtains closed, she saw the colonel grab Asil’s shoulder, shouting, but a lieutenant slammed the glass door shut, blocking further view. Had the colonel ordered Asil not to leave? Worried Asil might be disciplined because of her, Kiana whispered anxiously to the lieutenant.

“Do you know why the colonel is so angry?”

Recalling the events before and after the colonel’s arrival, she couldn’t fathom his rage. Asil and Kiana were consenting adults, and spending private time at such a banquet wasn’t unusual. If anything, her father, Count Seren, might have caused a scene, but why Colonel Grekosha…

“The colonel is quite particular about the lieutenant.”

“…Pardon?”

“So you’d best be cautious, miss. You’ve heard how fearsome the colonel is, haven’t you?”

The lieutenant, blocking the balcony, explained to Kiana. Only then did she fully grasp the expression she’d glimpsed on Valery’s face. The colonel swiftly grabbing Asil after the oath. The displeased scowl when Asil pulled away. The persistent gaze chasing the person before him, the fleeting hurt. Valery’s emotions, hidden in the shadows, struck Kiana suddenly.

“I see.”

Kiana was prepared to compete with other unwed women in the capital for Asil, but she had no intention of coveting Colonel Grekosha’s lover and bringing harm to herself or her family. Stammering, she slowly backed away from the balcony. She felt sorry for Asil, who might get scolded because of her. Still, as lovers, he wouldn’t discipline him like a subordinate, would he? Pushing aside her worries, Kiana quickly returned to the group.

“Any woman will do, huh?”

Asil reached out to Valery, who was pushing him toward the balcony railing. Shaking his head and pushing against the solid chest, Valery, half-crazed, wasn’t listening. Asil had considered that being caught with Kiana might anger him, but the real Valery was beyond mere anger, unable to control his emotions like a madman. His bloodshot eyes, glaring at Asil, were intimidating enough to make one flinch.

“You flinch and dodge when my hand so much as brushes you, but you’re a man, so…”

Asil had always endured Valery’s harsh insults, but seeing him lose control even in the palace made him increasingly fed up. He could no longer tolerate Valery’s repetitive pattern of suspicion and rage. With his back hitting the railing, Asil closed his eyes tightly and muttered lowly.

“Please, just stop.”

Where would he find the leisure to care for someone else? Love and romance required time and ease. Spending all day with Valery, with nothing but being penetrated, yet he seemed to believe Asil would elope with a stranger the moment he looked away. Asil pushed hard against Valery, who pressed close, chest to chest, berating him, but Valery didn’t budge. Gripping Asil’s waist painfully, he slid a thick thigh between his legs. Asil tried to close his knees, but unable to overpower Valery, he ended up spreading his legs wide.

“Please, Colonel… This is the palace.”

“The palace? Did you not know that, acting like this here?”

“What did I do?”

“What were you planning? To kiss her?”

“…Hah.”

“No matter how much I fuck you, you can’t help itching up front, is that it?”

No reasoning worked. Asil bit his lip and shouted back. He tried to whisper to avoid the sound carrying, but the absurd accusation drew a reflexive retort.

“You wouldn’t believe me even if I said no! You’ll do whatever you want anyway!”

“…So it’s true.”

“Think what you want and get out of my way. Someone might see.”

The balcony was shielded by curtains and a glass door, but the garden stretched wide behind. Someone bored with the banquet, out for a night stroll, might see. If word spread that a colonel and lieutenant were entangled, noses nearly touching, fighting in the capital… The thought was unbearable.

“Get out of the way—mmph!”

Before Asil could finish, Valery, far from moving, grabbed his squirming cheeks and bit his lips. His tongue surged through the gap, ravaging Asil’s mouth. As if confirming, Valery meticulously sucked every corner, then pulled back with a wet sound.

The woman with Asil had red lipstick. Feeling only a faint champagne scent in Asil’s mouth, it seemed they hadn’t kissed. Still uneasy, Valery was about to suck Asil’s lips again to be sure.

“No, not here!”

Turning his head, persistently rejecting him, Asil’s actions made Valery laugh hollowly and grip his chin firmly. Forcing their lips together, Asil pushed his chest and shook his head. The slipped lips grazed his small chin, sliding to his ear and down his neck persistently.

“No, no… Not here.”

“Why? Don’t want to be caught getting fucked by me?”

“…Ugh.”

“That’s your job, damn it, and you’re deciding where to do it?”

Pecking at the exposed skin, Valery unbuttoned Asil’s uniform. Leaning back against the railing, half-bent, Asil teared up as Valery groped below and faced him. Valery, about to rub his lips on Asil’s cheek, froze at the sight of Asil’s wet eyes and faint gasps. His groping hand stopped. Asil shoved him away like a blow and roughly wiped his soaked face.

“I don’t care about being raped, but not here. Do it at the mansion.”

“…Raped?”

“What, are we rolling around because we’re in love?”

Sniffling and swallowing tears, Asil shot sharp words at Valery with a trembling voice. Adjusting his disheveled clothes, he kept moving his lips. He felt like he was losing his mind. He could no longer hold back the pent-up words. Throughout the ceremony, he’d fretted that people might have noticed his relationship with Valery, worried his appearance seemed off. He was sick of Valery, who, heedless of social standing, lunged at him like a beast in heat even in public. Rumors might mean nothing to him, but to Asil, it was an experience he never wanted to relive.

“Are you and I lovers or something?”

Seeing Valery’s expression crumble with each word felt cathartic. Asil wanted to make Valery, who played at being a lover, fully aware of his place. He wanted to clarify their relationship now, without confusion, and establish their roles as before. That was what Asil desired.

“Am I not just that kind of existence to you?”

“…”

“You keep me around to vent when you’re horny or pissed, don’t you? To play the toilet, the hole… Isn’t that right?”

“…Shut up.”

Spotting the hand swiftly approaching his face, Asil, still sneering through tears, closed his eyes tightly. Of course, he’d thought it odd that Valery hadn’t hit him. Since their reunion, Valery hadn’t once raised a hand to beat him, but Asil wasn’t naive enough to believe he’d changed. He’d always braced for this moment.

“Damn it!”

But no pain came. The large hand trembling above Asil’s face, unable to contain its rage, slammed the railing. Valery kicked a small chair on the balcony, sending it flying and shattering noisily. Asil stared blankly at the chair, then forced his mouth open to provoke Valery further.

“Why kick an innocent chair? Hit me instead.”

Why wasn’t he hitting him? By now, Valery could’ve slapped him several times and it wouldn’t be surprising. He despised insolence. He didn’t spare subordinates who challenged his authority, and that principle applied to Asil’s behavior too.

“Hit me!”

Gripped by sudden, uneasy suspicion, Asil couldn’t stay sane. He grabbed Valery’s wrist, lifted it, and pressed his cheek against the large palm. He thought Valery, unable to contain his irritation, would slap him, but he quickly withdrew his hand, hiding it from Asil.

“Ha, ha…”

Laughing lightly, Asil looked up at Valery in the midst of the wrecked balcony. Valery was looking down at him. Their eyes met in the air, but neither spoke. Asil moved his lips weakly.

“You said I’d die if caught. Why didn’t you kill me?”

“…”

“Why don’t you hit me, why don’t you beat me…”

“…Stop.”

Valery whispered quietly, his expression fearful of what Asil might say next, but Asil wanted clarity. He no longer wanted to assign meaning to Valery’s intentions for keeping him close, to torment himself with anxiety over trivial matters, or to live each day hoping Valery might one day let him go. Throwing Valery’s wrist aside, Asil rubbed his face dry. He calmed his pounding heart. Terrified to ask lest Valery confirm it, his lips parted naturally, voicing a long-held question.

“Colonel, do you like me?”

Asil asked the same question he’d posed long ago in the forest. Back then, Valery had laughed uproariously, as if it were a ridiculous joke, dismissing it. Seeing him doubled over, Asil had flushed at his own foolishness. Vowing never to ask such a stupid question again, he’d suppressed the urge even when Valery acted unlike himself, was frighteningly tender, or after their reunion. But now, the question slipped out.

“…What would change if I did?”

Just laugh. Mock me. Treat me like a fool, like before.

“Would my feelings have any… effect on you?”

Valery approached Asil slowly, asking. He clenched and unclenched his large hand nervously, staring at Asil. His restless eyes lingered on Asil’s lips. Expecting some answer, his Adam’s apple bobbed slowly.

“…No. Don’t you know how I feel about you?”

With that, Asil’s mouth moved on its own. To hurt Valery, he spewed reckless words. He cursed him for lacking conscience, shouting that if he truly liked him, he should let him go. Pouring out whatever came to mind, Asil couldn’t clearly recall how he’d raged once he finished. Valery, listening silently, knelt as Asil, panting, collapsed. Reaching for Asil, he hesitated and gripped his own knee.

“Look at me.”

“…”

“Do as you’ve been doing. Keep scheming what’s best for you, watching my every move.”

Following Valery’s words, Asil raised his head. Valery’s face was as calm as ever, but Asil had long learned to read him. The hidden truth behind his cruel words was painfully clear.

“Act insolent like this one more time, and you’ll die as you wish.”

Even as he threatened and berated with ferocious words, Asil could see beyond. The other side of Valery, his hidden self, how he truly regarded Asil. Asil was no longer afraid of him. He might hate him forever, but he’d never fear him again, Asil thought, gazing at Valery’s reddened eyes.