A Perfectly Normal Romance Chapter 4.2 - Close

Hyun, who had been forcing a smile with his lips stretched out, scrunched up his eyes irritably. “It’s not nothing.” The veins bulging in his neck were clearly visible. “No, you knew it too. About me trying to date one or two people, giving up, messing up my relationships, and not being able to do it right.”

“You’re angry.”

“I’m not angry.”

“Then say that without sounding angry.”

“If I’m not angry, then I……. I!”

He was definitely going to say “fuck” after that. His mouth, clearly shaped to utter a harsh word, was tightly shut without a sound, forming a twitching, almost-smile. Then he suddenly pulled me close, burying me in his arms like a cocoon. His hand moved, stroking my back.

“Hey. I’m scared.”

His fingertips felt like they were moving, trying to pinpoint the exact location of my heart. His hand, which had been caressing my back as if memorizing each vertebra, stopped, and his face, creased with annoyance, drew near.

“You said you weren’t scared anymore.”

“I take that back. I’m fucking terrified right now.”

Despite my words, Hyun didn’t reply, just continued to stroke and pat my back. He hugged my waist tightly, entwining us together without a single gap. I moved my head, cheek pressed against him, and whispered.

“You’re not feeling around to see where to hit me, are you?”

“I said I’m not.”

A faint breath, as if about to extinguish, brushed against my neck as he mumbled.

“You want to kill me.”

˙✧˖🎥⋆˙

A new rule was established: Don’t ask about the past. It seemed obvious, yet it had to be formally established as a rule. As a reminder not to even make a mistake.

The crack in that diligently observed rule appeared at an unexpected moment. One peaceful morning. I was stretching, still half-asleep, shuffling in front of the refrigerator when I received Seungpyo’s call. That was the trigger.

―You remember you have to proceed with the house contract, right?

“Yeah. I remember.”

I answered without even moistening my lips, which were about to yawn, and went back to rummaging through the refrigerator. I’d thought about it once or twice, but with so much going on, I hadn’t paid much attention. I’d only vaguely thought, ‘It’s about time I got a call about signing that lease.’

So the day has finally come. From the moment Seungpyo first mentioned that place to me until now, so much had happened. It was unbelievable.

―When are you free to sign the contract?

“Let me check my schedule. How about the weekend?”

As I said that, gauging the possible dates – probably this weekend or next – I was startled by the feeling of the phone suddenly being pulled from my ear. I turned around to see Hyun holding my phone in his right hand. He just looked at me with an expression that said, “Why? It’s not like it’s someone you can’t be caught talking to.” Hyun slowly brought the phone to his lips and answered.

“Jio’s not signing the contract.”

―Why?

“Why?”

At the same moment, my voice and the voice on the other end of the phone asked the same question. Hyun looked me straight in the eye and said with clear lip movements,

“I’ve decided to stay here.”

―Really? You guys. You acted like you wouldn’t see each other again, but now that you’ve made up, you’re inseparable.

Well. Making up is one thing, and this is another issue that needs to be discussed separately. As I stood there dumbfounded, the refrigerator door, left open for too long, started beeping its alarm. I slowly pushed the complaining door closed and turned around completely.

Over the phone, Seungpyo was reciting to Hyun all the efforts he claimed to have made for our reconciliation. Even while listening to this epic tale, Hyun’s dark eyes calmly gazed at me. He willingly returned my phone to my outstretched hand. I gave Seungpyo a brief closing remark.

“Hold on. I’ll call you back later. Sorry.”

―You owe me a treat, man.

“No. And we’ll talk about the contract later.”

I thought he would tell me the reason for saying that as soon as I hung up, but Hyun just stood there, blinking. He even seemed a bit offended. It was baffling. In this situation, I had to be the one to ask questions to understand what was happening.

“What did you mean just now?”

“There’s no need to move out.”

“There’s no need to live together either… is there?”

Hyun, hearing my reply, subtly loosened his smiling lips, clearly expressing a different emotion.

“We’re back together, right?”

“No, I mean, even if we’re dating, there’s no need to live in the same house. We can respect each other’s privacy.”

“Have we ever done that?”

Seeing the slight tilt of his gaze, I realized I needed to muster some strength to maintain my composure. Talking about privacy after shuffling out of the same bed an hour ago wasn’t the best timing, especially when sharing that bed wasn’t a one-off thing but something that had been going on for several days.

But we must have respected each other’s privacy somewhere, right? Somewhere. Definitely…! However, the harder I tried to squeeze out the memories, the more barren they became. It was maddening, trying to recall not just recent events but also memories from when we first met, only for them to keep disappearing into a labyrinth.

From the beginning, our relationship developed from a friendship where we knew each other’s apartment passwords and came and went freely, so where would there have been any privacy? If anything, we maintained our privacy, created distance, and ended up breaking up, didn’t we?

There’s no need to dwell on the similarities between that time and now. I chewed on my lower lip, trying to smooth out my involuntarily creasing face. It was frustrating, the tangled thoughts of desperately trying to remember and wondering what good it would do even if I did.

I didn’t want to fight. I wanted to let it go smoothly. But since it was a matter of differing personalities, it seemed right to address it clearly. Especially now, when he’s trying to cancel a pre-arranged contract.

Before the prolonged silence could dampen the mood, I managed to pick out some words.

“I know you’re like that, but think about it again.”

“Think about what?”

“I know I’m laid-back. You’re more… restrictive.”

“When was I ever?”

His tone of questioning sounded so genuinely clueless that I blurted out something that popped up from my memory.

“Like that time you kept calling Geonjung until you found him when he was out having dinner.”

No. This is wrong. Bringing up past issues now, after we’ve already moved on from a fight, is really not right. I shook my head slightly, stopped, and tried to focus on the present.

“Anyway, I already told Seungpyo I’d sign the contract, so I have to.”

“Give it to someone else. If you can’t, I will.”

“That’s not the point. I’m saying let’s take it slow.”

“Slow?”

When his head, which had nodded once, returned to its original position, his narrowed eyes slowly opened. His face was cold, devoid of any humor.

“You lived with another guy right away.”

“…….”

“You lived just fine with another bastard, but asking to live here is my fault……”

Stunned, words I hadn’t even processed tumbled out.

“You crossed the line just now, you asshole.”

“Don’t give me that kind of excuse. What? Why can’t you live with me?”

“Oh, shit….”

Hyun, watching my frustrated expression, looked up at the ceiling for a moment. I, who had almost blurted out, “This is why!”, suppressed my anger. Think. Think of something constructive, something that will help improve our relationship. Something very mature…, if I had such a thing, I would have made wiser choices and lived a much easier life by now.

Hyun, watching me trembling where I stood, closed his eyes tightly and placed a hand on his forehead.

“Let’s think before we speak.”

What was I planning to do today? Sitting at the dining table, peeling and eating bite-sized chocolates one by one, I tried to remember.

We were supposed to go look at trees during the day. We were going to pick out a large potted tree for the empty terrace. Hyun had made a reservation for some Middle Eastern cuisine in the afternoon. Before coming back, we were going to buy some small necessities I needed. We had so many peaceful things planned, so why is this happening?

I looked down at the numbingly sweet sensation in my mouth, and saw eight chocolate wrappers scattered around. I’d been mindlessly munching on them because I felt my blood sugar dropping, and this was the result. My stomach feels bad. I can’t eat. Ugh.

I abruptly stood up, pushing my chair back noisily. I don’t want to fight. I definitely don’t want to fight. But no matter how much I rack my brain, it seems like that asshole was in the wrong just now.

I couldn’t tell if the nausea was from the chocolate or my pounding heart. Anyway, I marched across the living room without hesitation towards the culprit who had turned my insides and stomach upside down on this beautiful day. Even though I flung open the balcony door noisily, his broad back didn’t even flinch. I glared at it before stepping beside him.

Hyun was leaning on the railing, looking outside, slowly blinking. If he had been pissed off, I would have confronted him right then and there, but seeing him lost in his own thoughts left me speechless.

I leaned against the railing, waiting for his lips to part, but eventually, it was I who grew tired of waiting. The sun-drenched railing felt like it would burn my skin even after just leaning on it for a short while.

“Don’t use that against me like that.”

“Use what?”

“My past.”

“I wasn’t trying to use it against you.”

“Then what?”

“A mistake.”

Hyun, with his smooth, unreadable face that seemed like it would never admit to a mistake, meekly acknowledged his fault.

“I’m more jealous than I thought.”

He slightly tilted his head and finally met my gaze, his eyes devoid of any pretense or falsehood. Faced with his candid demeanor, my simmering anger began to subside. Jealousy. Jealousy, huh…

“I know you’ve been like that sometimes, but you went too far just now.”

“I went too far?”

“Yes.”

“No. I didn’t go too far. This is how it always was.”

His clear pronunciation left me with a strange expression, neither pleased nor displeased. What am I supposed to do when he’s so straightforward? Hyun leaned in slightly closer.

“Want to lay our cards on the table?”

“What?”

“I confessed to being jealous. What about you?”

“I, no. Wait a minute.”

“You did live with those guys, right?”

At that moment, my hand, which had been leaning on the railing, grabbed and tugged at my hair, as if punishing it for nothing.

“I did, but stop bringing that up.”

“Then what’s the reason you’re saying you can’t live with me, unlike then, and that you’d rather go back to that damn corner of a studio apartment?”

“That’s…. Ugh. Do you really need to hear this?”

“Now that we’re here, it’s better to get it over with.”

He said, closing the distance between us a little more. Our shoulders were almost touching. Close enough to see his long eyelashes fluttering as he waited for my answer.

Pretending not to care, I rested both arms on the railing and buried my head between them. Still, his persistent gaze on me felt ticklish. I closed my eyes tightly, then opened them, staring at my toes with wavering eyes before finally lifting my head. Until that moment, his gaze, fixed on me, remained clear and pure. As if to say, “You’ve laid it all out.”

“First of all, the premise is different between you and them. I tried everything to get closer to them.”

“How much closer can you get when you’re already dating?”

“It… didn’t last a few months.”

Seeing his eyes about to roll, I added to my explanation.

“I was struggling and trying to date them because there was no one like you.”

“…….”

“That’s why it happened. So don’t be so angry about it.”

Why am I suddenly making a confession? This wasn’t my intention.

“I liked you so much that I couldn’t forget you and ruined all my relationships. Let’s move on.”

His pale face, which always seemed to express emotions that were somewhat lacking for others but excessive for me, was still unreadable. After a moment, I saw his slightly raised eyebrows settle back into their usual gentle curve.

Hyun, who seemed to be slowly, very slowly, mulling over my words, let out a long sigh and placed his hand on my shoulder.

“I know.”

“Know what?”

“That you had short relationships that didn’t work out.”

“Who told you that again? Geonjung, right! Do these bastards have no sense of my privacy?”

“I heard a little. Just a little.”

He said, taking a step closer behind me. As if blocking my escape, he gripped the railing with both arms and pressed his chest against my back. Even if I tried to move, I was trapped in his embrace, held within his firm arms. After a brief struggle, I gave up, craning my neck. Hyun, resting his chin on the point where my neck met my shoulder, whispered, sending shivers down my spine.

“Jio.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll give you the chance to live with me, the person you like so much.”

His whispered voice was unexpectedly sweet, making my heart flutter a little. Damn it. I almost fell for it.

“That’s nice and all, but since our personalities are a bit different, I thought it might be better to live separately rather than clashing while living together.”

“We can work things out.”

“Will it work?”

We’ve stumbled once before. Of course, being close is nice. I’ve never disliked his arms around me like this, blocking my back and holding my waist tight. I have no intention of denying that. But we keep adding words to each other’s actions. Whether it’s cooking, cleaning, being within sight or not. We’re too conscious of each other, no matter what we do.

As if trying to quell my worries, his lips, which had lightly brushed against my earlobe, whispered again, softly.

“If you think about what you just said, Jio, it means you couldn’t forget me even while you were dating those guys.”

“Did you really have to say that out loud?”

“You said you ruined all your relationships because you were thinking about me.”

At that moment, the arm around my waist tightened sharply, as if to crush me into his embrace.

“Don’t you think we’ve had enough time to prepare?”

“Isn’t it a little scary? That I was only thinking about you and comparing everyone to you.”

“Why is that?”

As I spoke, he suddenly nibbled on my neck. I flinched at the sting, then slightly turned my head to see his face leaning in, seeking my warmth. His smooth forehead came into view, close to my eyes.

“So, you.”

“Me?”

“Didn’t you have anyone? Tell me something.”

“Hmm… We agreed not to talk about the past anymore, didn’t we?”

“Hey, asshole. You’re going to use that against me now?”

Hyun, who stubbornly held onto me despite all my curses, finally released his grip after I finally said I would call Seungpyo. Only after I told him on the phone he offered me that I wouldn’t sign the contract did his restraining arms loosen. Instead, my ruffled hair scattered over my shoulders.

“Are you satisfied now?”

“Yes. I’m happy.”

Despite my almost-snarl, his voice was softer and gentler than ever before.

It took more strength than I imagined to open my eyes and get out of bed. But the silently ticking clock on the wall told me there was no time left to spare. I usually started work late, but I’d rarely seen Hyun lazing around like this, even when he was twenty. Today, I managed to push him aside, still drowsy, and finally swung my legs out of bed.

“Hyun. Aren’t you going to work?”

“I am.”

“Is it okay to go this late?”

“I just have to write a report.”

Hyun, who was lying down with one arm propped up, tilted his head back to look at me.

“Do you want me to go out and earn money?”

“You’ve earned enough.”

“Alright then.”

Hyun settled back into a comfortable position and closed his eyes with a relaxed expression.

“It’s nice just being like this.”

“You really mean it?”

“Yeah. Life feels like a vacation these days.”

Seeing him relaxed and tension-free, I began to let go of my worries. I might be a little less busy in the future, or I might not, but since Hyun said he might start his next project soon, this kind of leisure wouldn’t last long. We brushed our teeth side by side, roughly dried our faces, and wandered around, picking up and putting on our clothes one by one.

My hoodies and other clothes piled up on the sofa like a small mountain, and the kitchen was littered with evidence of my habit of taking a bite of something and leaving it around. I finally put away the half-eaten bread from the early morning and was drinking the half-finished chocolate milk from last night when Hyun, who came to get something for himself, pinched my cheek.

“I told you to eat something else.”

“If you hadn’t clung to me this morning, we would have been grilling Hanwoo beef right now.”

“That’s not my fault.”

“It’s not?”

“Who was the one lying in bed shirtless?”

“I wasn’t lying down. I was sitting, and you pushed me down by leaning on my shoulder.”

“Did I?”

He sounded indifferent. I supported my aching back with my hand, pushing against his weight. At this rate, something’s really going to happen.

Hyun, wearing a thin shirt that made me wonder if it was meant to help him focus on work or on his body, grabbed a soy milk and put the straw to his lips. The thin, tailored fabric outlined his silhouette, fitting perfectly at every joint, making him look fantastic. His lips parted from the straw with a pop, and he smiled brightly.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You’re going to wear a vest, right?”

“Don’t worry.”

He smiled as if he knew exactly what I meant by my question.

Hyun’s commute had changed to a route that always passed by our office. He said the deep wound had healed and no longer bothered him when he held the steering wheel. Sometimes, he would laugh and say the area felt a little numb, demonstrating by pressing it with his other hand’s fingernails. This playful act sometimes amused me, and sometimes infuriated me.

My phone vibrated with a notification, the same frequency as the radio playing in the car. I glanced over the long, apologetic message, which was practically a written confession by now, and asked,

“You said they’re going to settle soon, right?”

“Yeah.”

Checking the left side mirror, Hyun replied in a nonchalant tone.

“I was going to put him away if he was acting up, but he seemed ready to die even without that. It seemed more effective to torture him with the settlement money.”

“Good job.”

“I was worried he’d pull that crap again, saying his life was over after being in jail.”

At that moment, the car came to a stop at a red light. Hyun briefly let go of the steering wheel and reached towards me. Wondering what he was doing, I leaned closer, and he spread his right palm, blocking the morning sun. He showed me the clearly visible scar.

“Don’t go into any kind of shadow from now on.”

“Hyung, I’m already…”

“You’re making excuses again.”

“…Okay.”

Faced with the already existing mark of the past, I had no excuses to offer. I lightly pressed my lips against his outstretched palm, then pulled away as the car started moving again. It was an impulsive act, and I felt a rush of heat to my eyes. Fiddling with my phone, I casually mentioned the contents of the message.

“He’s appealing to emotions now.”

“He always did that.”

“At this rate, he’ll even bring up that time he bought me yukgaejang.”

“Did that guy ever do anything you’re grateful for?”

“Well… he did let me stay at his place for about three months after I was discharged.”

At that, Hyun, who had parked the car on the side of the road a little before my office, straightened his smiling lips and stared intently at me.

“You lived with that bastard too?”

Before Lee Hyun could even roll his eyes, I grabbed him by the collar. This was truly unbearable.

“I have eyes and preferences, you know. Retract that. Now.”

“Ah. Sorry.”

“We almost had a fight just now.”

“I said I’m sorry.”

At my intense reaction, Hyun raised both hands in apology. My sudden anger subsided, and I smoothed out the wrinkles I’d inadvertently created in his thin shirt. The embarrassment hit me belatedly after my impulsive action. My emotions are all over the place these days. Ugh. This is all because I haven’t quit my job yet.

Fumbling with my seatbelt, I mumbled,

“I’ll be back.”

“Are you handing in your resignation today?”

“Yeah. If it gets processed smoothly, I’ll work just this month. Even if it doesn’t, I’ll work just this month.”

“Finish this week.”

“Then our sub-writer will cry.”

I’d been feeling inexplicably sorry for the sub-writer, who kept pretending to cry every time we met, saying we had agreed to work together until we hit it big. If I left next week, she wouldn’t just pretend to cry, she’d instantly label me a traitor.

“I’ll drive when we go back.”

“Okay. I have insurance.”

“No, I took driving lessons. I’m really good now.”

“Okay. Does Jio have insurance? Should I get some today?”

“Enough already.”

I gritted my teeth, and as I slammed the door, the last thing I saw was his impossibly bright smile. Hyun seemed to find joy in everything these days. On the other hand, my emotions fluctuated with every little thing.

˙✧˖🎥⋆˙

After the exciting planning meeting, I sat at my desk, typing steadily, stopping occasionally, and after glancing around, I texted Chief Producer Choi: “Could I speak with you for a moment?” Fortunately, he replied to my unusually polite and earnest message. I stood up confidently and walked out of the office, bumping right into the sub-writer who was about to enter. The two venti-sized coffees in her hands were quite noticeable.

“You’re going to get caffeine shock.”

“These are all for the main writer. And where are you going? Why are you so happy?”

As I smiled brightly, my face radiating a mixture of slight sympathy but uncontainable joy, her face grew even sadder.

“You’re going to tell him now.”

“Yes.”

“You’re going to leave even if the PD tries to stop you?”

“Yes.”

“Even if he offers you really, really good terms? Even if Chief Producer Choi talks to the higher-ups and gets you a raise?”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“Oh, really. Still no?”

“No. I just want to quit.”

“Work for a year. It’ll look good on your resume.”

“Thanks for trying to keep me here.”

“Ugh. Who am I going to complain with now? I’m doomed!”

“They can hear you.”

Droplets of condensation were forming on the surface of the coffee cups due to the temperature difference, but she didn’t seem to mind as she walked down the hallway beside me. It was funny how it felt like she was accompanying me on my final journey.

“Even if I tell him now, I’ll probably work for another month.”

“But what if they can’t find a replacement?”

“Then I’ll disappear.”

“Geez. You only learned the bad things here.”

“That’s right. I learned the valuable lesson that life goes on even if you do things half-heartedly.”

I’d felt that way since the old Link days, when the company was doing just fine even though it was run haphazardly. The sub-writer, having given up on trying to keep me, started asking about my future.

“What are you going to do when you quit?”

“Rest for a while, and maybe a studio?”

“You’re going to open one?”

“…No.”

I wasn’t, but lately, there had been an unexpected development regarding this matter. Hyun, upon hearing my new aspiration, sat across from me at the dining table, steepled his fingers, smoothed his brow, and asked just one question:

“Is a studio like your old workshop, where you work all night?”

His tone was utterly calm, but my heart was tossed like a ship in a storm.

I gestured emphatically, explaining that I was getting older and needed to sleep at home, and that since it would be a shared space, that wouldn’t happen. Hyun listened, one eyebrow twitching up and down slowly.

“Why would you share a studio with someone else?”

So that’s how it ended up…

No. Stop thinking about it. The sub-writer, who had escorted me to Chief Producer Choi’s office, gave me her own kind of encouragement before turning back.

“May your resignation fail.”

I waved at her retreating back. I’ll take that as support.

I opened the door and entered to find Chief Producer Choi sitting at his desk, having just returned from somewhere, his jacket placed on the back of his chair. I bowed, and he gestured for me to sit down. Before he could even ask what it was about, I calmly stated my purpose.

“I think I need to resign.”

“Why?”

“My health isn’t good.”

Health reasons are always the best excuse when quitting. I spoke in as calm a voice as possible, and Chief Producer Choi frowned deeply.

“You look healthier than anyone I’ve seen recently.”

“No, that’s not true.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Everything. I’m tired even on my days off, so I think I need to rest.”

“You do look a little thinner…”

I nodded vigorously because I’d noticed that too, but it was also a bit embarrassing. Why would I be losing weight when I’m eating well and getting chauffeured around in a bigger apartment? It’s because I can’t rest properly on my days off, and we’re constantly… well, you know. Saying I wasn’t well wasn’t a complete lie. Being tired was a fact.

As I blinked resolutely, Chief Producer Choi seemed to realize that persuasion wouldn’t work.

“You could at least stay for a year.”

“I thought about that, but I think I’ll be doing similar work, so it won’t make much difference to my career.”

“The senior who recommended you said you would stay for at least a year.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What are you going to do? Go back to your business?”

“Something similar. I’m thinking of starting my own small studio.”

“You’re opening a studio?”

“…No.”

The guy I commuted with was saying something absurd about looking into buildings now that things had turned out this way, but that would have little to do with my future. Probably.

“Then why not work longer and prepare? The experience here won’t be completely useless for a studio, no matter what you film.”

“I think I’ll probably work on small brand SNS promotional videos after I leave. I’ve already received offers.”

“Oh, so you came here with everything prepared?”

“No, that’s not it.”

“Alright.”

Chief Producer Choi, who I thought would give me more of a hard time, surprisingly let me off easily.

“You look like you’ve already made up your mind, so there’s no point in trying to keep you. Please help us find your replacement. Let me know if you have anyone to recommend.”

“Yes, I will.”

“Brand videos? What brand?”

“A beauty line launched by a YouTuber.”

“That suits you.”

Chief Producer Choi, who seemed more human now that I was leaving, nodded to himself and continued.

“There’s a limit to how beautifully you can film mapo tofu. Go out there and do well.”

“Yes. Thank you for everything.”

“You’re not grateful for anything I’ve done, Jio.”

“No, I am grateful. Always.”

Chief Producer Choi widened his eyes slightly at my reply, then slowly nodded. Watching that small gesture, I thought to myself,

He might be like that personality-wise, but like the sub-writer occasionally gossiped, Chief Producer Choi didn’t seem to dislike me that much. If we hadn’t met through work, maybe he would have liked me to some extent, but since we already did, what difference does it make?

“Let’s have a meal sometime.”

“Sure.”

I could agree to anything. We weren’t going to see each other again anyway.

˙✧˖🎥⋆˙

After telling the PD and the sub-writer, the news of my departure had already spread throughout the office by the end of the day. As I walked around, everyone asked, “I heard you’re leaving? What are you going to do?” Answering their questions made it start to feel real. While working here, I had been so busy and overwhelmed that I hadn’t been able to think about anything else. That was a good thing, I guess.

I left the building later than usual today. I had to wait a long time for the on-site survey logs to be uploaded. It was already this late by the time I reviewed the roughly organized data. The crowd gathering like ants for dinner invited me to join them, but I shook my head again.

“I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“It must be a hassle to go home and cook. Let’s eat together.”

“A friend is waiting for me. I’ll head out first.”

I waved goodbye to the group as they left with the company card. Then I trudged in the opposite direction. Hyun had parked in front of the office building a few times, but people showed such great interest that he’d started parking near the corner a block away for the past few days.

I was leaning against the wall downstairs, where smokers often gathered, when a car pulled up with a smooth engine sound and its blinker on. As I approached and opened the passenger door, Hyun’s eyes, which had clearly been watching me approach, scolded me.

“I told you not to stand in the shade.”

I paused, then remembered what he had said in the morning and chuckled, sliding into the seat.

“Is that what you meant?”

“Anywhere.”

“Okay.”

Despite my obedient nod, Hyun clicked his tongue and started driving. Trying to interpret his sudden remark, I remembered that I had said I would drive this morning. The car was already moving with the flow of traffic.

“What did that side say when you told them you were quitting?”

“They didn’t say much, surprisingly.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. They said filming beauty brands would suit me better than filming mapo tofu.”

“Who said that?”

“The PD.”

“The guy from back then?”

“Yeah. The one I told you about.”

I didn’t expect him to say that. It was unexpected. Was he trying to leave a good impression since it was the last time? It gives the false impression that everything’s fine if the ending is good. As I tried to make sense of it, Hyun wrinkled his nose in slight discomfort, then relaxed it.

“He said let’s have a comfortable meal together sometime, outside of work.”

“Are you going to?”

“There’s a contradiction in that sentence. Comfortable with Choi Yoo Seok? No. The sentence itself doesn’t make sense.”

“Right.”

“You haven’t eaten dinner yet, have you? Let’s grill that tenderloin as soon as we get back. I think it’s close to its expiration date. We’re eating as soon as we get home, seriously.”

I never thought there’d be a day when I’d worry about losing weight from being constantly together, day and night. As I checked my wrist, which even Chief Producer Choi had commented on looking thin, Hyun asked in his usual tone,

“Are you on a first-name basis now?”

“Good point. I’ll call him ‘that bastard’ from now on. You’ll know who I mean.”

“Okay.”

˙✧˖🎥⋆˙

On the surface, we still seemed a bit gruff, and our casual intimacy sometimes attracted attention. Especially on days like today when we were dressed up.

Today was finally the big day. Seungpyo’s wedding. The event he’d talked about so much that we’d memorized the order of proceedings. The morning of the day, which felt like D-Day for us as well due to his excitement, finally dawned. He seemed busy on the actual wedding day, as his appearances in the chat were less frequent.

The reason we stopped at the cafe inside the apartment complex instead of going straight to the underground parking lot was that we both needed coffee to wake up. Hyun had ended up taking on a new project. He said it was related to the recycling business. As people had said, my worry that Hyun would run out of work turned out to be excessive.

“What kind of recycling?”

“It’s like a collection of scrap yards.”

“What’s that?”

“The CEO is a Peking University graduate. He heard about the Chinese government’s upcoming restrictions on waste imports through internal Communist Party discussions and prepared in advance. He bought up all the scrap yards, waste processing plants, and landfills across the country, and his business grew quite large. It’s good that it grew, but it’s just a bloated company without proper management. They started dabbling in new materials and recycling, and now they’re looking for investments.”

“Oh… You don’t have to explain it in such detail. All I want to know is if they’re involved in illegal waste disposal or landfill practices.”

“I’ll know after visiting a few scrap yards and processing plants.”

“Let me know if you find anything interesting. I can use it for the program.”

“You quit, didn’t you?”

“We have idea meetings every week. And I get rejected every week. I have to go at least four more times before I’m actually out.”

“Quit tomorrow.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

“Then what am I going to do?”

I bit down on the straw as I said that, and Hyun flicked it with his fingertip.

“Think about it after you quit.”

That’s why I’m still going to work. I can really do this, right? I’d thrown my resignation letter, but the only thing planned for the future was a video for Sunghee’s cousin’s beauty brand. Well, it’s not like I’ve ever thought things through deeply. I’ve always lived one month at a time.

Down in the underground parking lot, I placed my coffee in the cup holder and adjusted my suit, which I hadn’t worn in a while. As I turned the steering wheel and headed for the exit, the building security guard bowed towards the car window. I instinctively nodded back and looked ahead again.

“I’m serious when I say I want you to quit soon.”

“Why?”

“I think I’ll be busy, and I need you to look around a few buildings I’ve found with the lawyer.”

“You actually looked at buildings? I’m just starting out. Even if I share a studio with others, it’ll be a long time before I need that much space. I’m just going to use a couple of cameras and edit on my laptop. Why are you doing this?”

“Because you’re going to keep doing it. And it’s going to grow.”

“No, but, I mean…”

Of course, I had to keep going. And I had to have the hopeful goal of growing bigger. Still, it felt… burdensome. I made a distressed face, but his brief glance at me was unwavering.

“And we might move, too.”

“Why is this getting bigger and bigger? Why move?”

“I was thinking of buying a building and remodeling the top floor for us.”

“What? Why there? Are you selling our current place to buy a building?”

“No.”

I massaged my temples a few times as a headache started, and Hyun, seeing me clutching my head, explained.

“It’ll be easier for you to come and go if your studio is downstairs.”

“Hey, no. Buying a building just for that is a bit… I’ll seriously drive and come back properly. I mean it. Should we pinky promise?”

“Jio.”

“Yeah.”

“Just like you don’t trust me in certain situations, I don’t trust you in this situation.”

“I said I’ll come home to sleep!”

“Right. It’ll be even easier to come up if we’re on the top floor.”

“This is too much, way too much.”

“It’ll be easier for me to go down, too.”

Hyun’s face looked incredibly refreshed as he held the steering wheel, bathed in the morning sunlight.

“Your goal is to catch me, isn’t it?”

“And I’m not buying a building just for your studio. I chose one with investment value.”

“Just like you don’t trust me, I don’t trust you.”

Of course, the most unbelievable reality is that you’re going to this extent for my studio. As I struggled with what to believe, his casual nod seemed incredibly relaxed.

“Then don’t trust me.”