A Perfectly Normal Romance Chapter 6.4 - Ever After (Side Story)

He was pushing forward, sliding and thrusting between my thighs as if he would ram into me at any moment, yet his words were leisurely. The entrance, tickled and prodded, and the penis, bumping against the membrane, were searingly hot. As he stared intently at my entrance, which was flinching on its own, I tried to draw my legs together and muttered.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“You mean, don’t look and just hurry up and fuck me?”

Well, in a way, that is the right answer. Then hurry up and do it, I retorted, and the hand gripping my pelvis firmly put more weight into it. It felt like my pelvis was being forced open to an uncomfortable, aching degree. The penis, which had been moving as if to slam down, was now slowly pushing its way in. It was a pressure I could never get used to.

While I tilted my head back, enduring the weight, the sensation of his cheek rubbing against mine and his lips brushing over mine landed all over my face. His lower body thrust his hips up even further. The penis, with its hard core, pushed and prodded my insides, and a pressure that felt like it would burst welled up. It felt like something was about to go wrong.

“Ah, ugh… just a…”

“Should I loosen you up more?”

As I failed to take him in all at once, the thick penis withdrew, and his long fingers dug back inside, churning me. This time, it felt like three. Maybe four. I panted at the sensation of being stretched tautly from below, then shook my head. I’d rather. Just… As if waiting for those words, the glans, hot enough to burst, rammed up from below.

The moment I swallowed the fully spread penis and it dug its way inside to settle, I couldn’t make a single sound. A tingling sensation spread through my palm, and as I clenched and unclenched my fist, he laced his fingers with mine and put his weight on them. He grabbed me tightly, and after pulling back until he was almost all the way out, he moved his hips in a wide arc, thrusting up with loud, slapping sounds. The movement of him ramming into me before my hips, which had lifted up, could fall back down was fierce.

“Ah… hht, ugh. Ah… at. Ah…!”

“It doesn’t hurt, right?”

“Ah, I think I’m going to die… but… it’s too…”

“Too what. Tell me quickly.”

I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them, and my vision was slightly askew. Lee Hyun grabbed my body, which had been pushed up by his force, pulled me down, and moved his hips slowly. As if he were meticulously carving his thickness and depth into me, I clenched my teeth at the sensation of him thrusting deep inside, not pulling out, but touching a place far beyond and igniting a strange pleasure. Ah, this is really strange.

“Like that, there…”

“Like this?”

“Yeah. Uh…”

“You like it when I rub you?”

Along with the explicit words, his penis pushed in until it could go no further. It felt like it had conquered the very end. A sound, “Ugh,” escaped. As I clung to Lee Hyun with whatever I could grab, he put his strength into it again, slamming down and churning my body. The sensation of pleasure churning inside me was so dizzying that in the end, I was almost writhing. No, there, not… I don’t want it. Ah. Ugh…

I sucked on his tongue as he parted my lips, which were spewing random words, and tangled with mine. At the same time, I felt his penis, which had been churning inside and seemed like it would never come out, pull out with a whoosh as he drew his hips back in a wide arc. My whole body trembled at the sensation of my insides spasming uncontrollably. He rubbed the skin of my lower abdomen as thick semen gushed out. His face, contorted in pleasure, twitched as he rubbed his penis even more against my lower parts. The wet sensation was raw and exposed.

Letting out an exhausted breath, I closed my flickering eyes. I thought I had woken up, but I guess not. This too felt like a dream.

The sudden call from the sub-writer came the following week.

—Jio. I have a job for you, are you free next Tuesday? Late at night.

“Yes, I am. Totally free.”

The fact that I said yes before even asking what the job was was partly thanks to my instincts as a somewhat educated person. I said okay unconditionally, listening to her voice in a half-raised position from where I had been lying face down on the bed. Yes. Anything is fine. What is it? But what she said next was so unexpected.

—A senior I know works in radio, and she said they’re short a guest for next week. I thought you’d be a good fit, Jio, so I mentioned you, and she said it sounds great.

“Wait. A guest? How can I do something like that?”

—It’s a late-night radio show after 12 AM, and the Tuesday corner is a place where they gather people according to a theme and talk. The theme for next week is someone who has experienced many things, so you came to mind, Jio. You’ve started a venture company, worked in broadcasting, and now you’re a director with your own studio. That’s so amazing.

“No. Wait. The previous things aside, a studio director? What have I done to be called a director?”

—Come on. You must have done something in the meantime. Haven’t you?

“No.”

—You’re just saying that again. Anyway, you said you’d do it, right? There are three panelists, so they said you don’t have to talk much. I saw the script, and the questions are like, ‘How did you manage to do so many different things?’ ‘How did you overcome failure?’ ‘What’s your direction for the future?’ They said if you look at the questions beforehand and do a light pre-interview, the writer will write the whole script for you.

“My direction for the future? I have no thoughts about that.”

—Then you can just say that. I’ll tell them you’ll do it.

“Wait a minute.”

—Come on, you said you’d do it. I’ll pass it on.

“No. I need to think about this.”

—Thank you.

“Don’t hang up. I said don’t hang up!”

I called out, but the sub-writer hung up without a second thought. I tried pressing the call button again to reconnect the already-ended call, but the line was busy. The next time, the call clearly went through, but she didn’t pick up. This is exactly how they do snatch-and-run casting!

I repeatedly pressed the call button, then slumped my upper body onto the bed and dropped my phone. What is happening? Lee Hyun, who had been sitting in a chair next to the bed reading a book, was watching me silently, then lowered his gaze back down with an indifferent expression.

“So this is how you’ve been getting yourself into things all this time.”

“No… What is this?”

“She said you’re going on the radio.”

“Exactly. Is this real? Is this happening to me? How did I end up going on a show like that?”

“It’s not like you can’t do it.”

“What. Why are you so positive?”

I hadn’t even had a chance to consider Lee Hyun’s reaction yet, but I hadn’t expected him to be this positive, so I stared at him with my cheek pressed against the sheet. Lee Hyun, who nonchalantly ignored my gaze, turned another page of the book he may or may not have been reading.

“It’s late at night, and your face won’t be shown.”

“But what would I even say if I went on?”

“You’d talk about your experience starting a company, working in broadcasting, and setting up a studio. It’s an impressive career.”

“Did you plot this with the sub-writer? Why are you suddenly like this?”

“What do you mean, suddenly.”

“When have you ever thought of me like that?”

“I have thought of you like that.”

“Since when.”

“Since sometime.”

Lee Hyun put down his book, stood up, and came closer to the bed, leaning over. I wondered what he was looking at, and then I felt a delicate touch on the back of my neck, his fingers brushing against the slightly grown hair there.

“Really?”

“You don’t think I set up a whole studio for you just because you’re pretty, do you?”

Uh… I guess… no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t find any other reason, so I just assumed that was it.

During the brief silence, Lee Hyun continued to fiddle with the back of my neck. If I stop leaving marks from today, it should be fine by Tuesday. At his mumble, I rubbed my neck, which felt even more ticklish, and turned over to lie properly, looking straight up at the seated Lee Hyun. Strange. He doesn’t seem to be forcing himself to give empty compliments.

As if he noticed my sullen gaze, his reddish lips formed a faint arc.

“What. You must have thought I set it up because you’re pretty.”

“That was the only thing I could guess… so I just thought that was it.”

“I invested in you because I know you’re good at what you do.”

“You invested in me?”

“Yeah. You’re good.”

“At what?”

“At everything you do. Except for judging scumbags. And I worry about your handling of taxes and scaling up. Your timeline planning is also a bit…”

I asked him to tell me what I’m good at, and instead, Lee Hyun listed off a stream of things I’m bad at. He even had a pretty serious expression at the end. As if he was clearly thinking, What should I do with this one? Then he lightly touched the middle of my forehead with his finger before taking it away.

“It’s a good thing I know how to do those things.”

“I think I just got mercilessly insulted. I asked you to tell me what I’m good at.”

“What are you going to wear?”

“They won’t see me, so I can probably wear anything.”

“Still.”

Then, as if gauging what to dress me in on his own, his eyes scanned me from my toes up, and he abruptly stood up. From where he stood, he looked me over once more.

“And it’s also true that I set it up because you’re pretty.”

He left me with those words and went out of the room first. I stared, dumbfounded, at his retreating back. Am I really going? You’re not going to stop me?

˙✧˖🎥⋆˙

The saying that joy doubles and sorrow halves when shared is a complete lie. Believing that and trying to make light of the situation by telling the group chat about it was the spark that, instead of just being a problem, spread like wildfire.

[It’s today, right?]

[Tonight at 12 AM, lock it on 93.8!!!]

[Jio, are you going to be on TV next as a young entrepreneur or something?]

[Hooray]

[Hooray~~~~~~~~~]

[You can’t abandon us then, Jio.]

I tried to talk them out of it, but every time, they’d retort, “Why are you stopping us? Isn’t this amazing?” and try to lecture me instead, so I gave up a long time ago. The wave of their three cheers for themselves went on for quite a while. After watching them, I blurred my vision and cast my gaze far ahead, beyond the steering wheel I was gripping. Even though I was alone in the car, I felt my face flush with second-hand embarrassment and bowed my head deeply. Ah. I wanted to just bang my head on the steering wheel.

It was a stroke of immense luck that Lee Hyun, who had been debating whether or not to give me a ride, had to go down to a regional factory for business yesterday morning. Thinking it was for the best that Lee Hyun wasn’t around, I considered backing out, but to cancel the day before? I knew what a disaster that would be from a working staff’s perspective, so in the end, I was dutifully on my way to the radio broadcast, right on time.

After parking the car, there was still an hour left before the 12 o’clock start time. So diligent, so very diligent. Anyone watching would think I was dying to be on this show. Muttering to myself, I had my visitor status confirmed and went upstairs.

I plopped down on the sofa in the waiting room a staff member guided me to and shoved my hands into my pockets. I took out the script, which was already crumpled from being read so many times. It was a script about me, completed after an hour-long phone call that substituted for a pre-interview meeting. Polished with a bit of embellishment and processed to be suitable for broadcast… Mulling over my life written out on this white piece of paper for days on end felt a bit strange. It was like… looking at it this way…

‘I look like a really progressive and impressive person.’

Discovered my talent in a university club I joined and devoted myself to it, then founded a company. Parted ways with other partners due to differing opinions on the company’s vision. Started working in broadcasting to learn a new perspective. Afterwards, opened a studio and am focusing on my own work. Currently taking on brand launching, video, and photography outsourcing jobs, and waiting for the results of a government-collaborated project screening to start a new business.

They say anything can be spun, but I never thought I’d learn that lesson from my own resume. You really do learn things as you live longer.

As I sat there awkwardly, I greeted the other two guests who were appearing today. One was a woman who had become an essayist after the short posts she uploaded on social media gradually gained fame, and the other was a man a year younger than me who had started a franchise business. After receiving their business cards, I realized I had nothing to give in return and, with an awkward hand, gripped my script again, thinking, I should get something made. The man, who had been listening to my introduction, noticed my stiff demeanor and tried to strike up a friendly conversation.

“You used to work at a broadcasting station, I heard. You seem really nervous.”

“That’s because I was always outside the stage, not on it.”

“Ah, I see. Still, you must know how things work.”

“This is my very first time on the radio.”

I cleared my throat needlessly and was about to check my phone one last time when I saw a hand gesture beckoning us to enter. Mixed in with the other guests who were heading in right away, I had no choice but to hurry my steps as well.

I walked past the equipment where I used to sit and entered the booth, taking my seat. The song that had been playing was at the end of its second verse. After checking the microphone and the headset, the DJ’s smooth, flowing voice continued.

“In an age where the future is uncertain and our hearts are anxious. Perhaps that is why people chase after even bigger goals, the same goals as everyone else. But sometimes, there are people who walk a different path, one that isn’t already laid out. This is a time to take a peek over their shoulders.”

The 20-minute segment, thankfully, was proceeding smoothly, making my worries seem unfounded. Except for my voice trembling slightly during the initial greetings and self-introduction, the show continued without a hitch, and the tension in my shoulders gradually eased.

Fortunately, it was thanks to the enthusiasm shown by the other two guests. The franchise CEO, in particular, who was eager to promote his business very actively, was still explaining with all his heart and soul.

“It’s becoming more and more like that with the things we buy, isn’t it? There are many cases where people look for cost-effectiveness, but there are also many who want to buy something once, for sure, and not have to worry about it anymore. That’s why we decided to focus on reliable performance and after-sales service.”

“That’s right. These days, the world is too busy to pay attention to every little detail all the time.”

The DJ, sensing the franchise CEO was about to speak again, glanced at the script and then turned his gaze toward me. The show was running a little behind the script’s schedule, so I was already prepared.

“Thank you for your valuable words. These two guests here took a different path based on lessons learned from their previous companies, but Director Shin Jio is a bit different. You’ve been making different choices from others since your university days. Could you briefly introduce yourself?”

“Ah… am I a ‘Director’?”

“Yes. You opened a studio, so you are a director.”

“This is terribly embarrassing, but. Anyway. Yes. Since there’s no other title, I’ll have to accept it. I was a very fearless person. I just did it because I liked it. After doing that for a while, I came to my senses a bit after my military service and before my senior year of university. But it was already too late.”

“Oh my. What was it that was too late?”

“To start looking for a job or managing my grades like everyone else. So, since I’d already come so far, I had no choice but to do my best at what I was already doing.”

Everyone sitting around let out small laughs and chimed in. The atmosphere suggested they thought I was just embellishing the story to be more entertaining. But it was the unvarnished truth. It’s not that I never thought about reality. It’s just that by the time I snapped out of it, there was no turning back.

“For someone who says that, your career is quite impressive. You were even the CEO of a fairly famous company.”

“I’ve heard of that company, too. It received a lot of government support and was selected as a core competency enterprise, so it was a role model for people like us who are starting businesses.”

“I know that place, too.”

I bowed my head awkwardly to the two people who suddenly chimed in, then brought my mouth closer to the microphone again.

“Thank you. To be honest, I was so busy working overtime there every day that I didn’t know much about all that. And I eventually left because of disagreements. Yes. I had my first failure there. Around that time, I also had conflicts with my parents and family worries. I won’t count that as a failure, though. But it was a difficult time.”

This time, no one interrupted, so I cleared my throat and continued my story alone.

“After that, I worked at a broadcasting station. And I experienced my second failure there. Somehow, I’ve now opened a studio, but I’m still in a daze myself. I didn’t start with some great epiphany or a big dream like the other two guests here. I just did my best to solve whatever was right in front of me at the time.”

“Doing your best is the hardest thing to do.”

“Yes. After trying this and that, failing, and trying again, I found that doing my best was the most difficult thing. I wasn’t even sure if it was the right thing to do, or if I should even be giving it my all. But while having the conviction to do your best is the hardest part, actually doing it wasn’t as hard as I thought. Sometimes, things just work out. This was the reason I debated a lot about whether or not to come on this show, and why I ultimately decided to appear.”

“Could you tell us a little more about that?”

“When I looked at the planning intention for this segment, it said it was a segment to share various stories with people these days who are uncertain about what to do in the future. That’s why I thought even more about refusing.”

“But you’re sharing such great stories with us.”

“But as you can probably tell from what I’m saying now, I’m still uncertain myself, so I had no idea what I should say. I haven’t actually solved everything either. But… still, if I may say something as a person who has at least dabbled in this and that and somehow survived until now. I wanted to say this. Whatever you do, if you put in the effort, things can get resolved in unexpected ways. There are many cases where worrying about things in life is pretty meaningless. Every year, whenever I faced something new, there was a thought I had. Wow. Something like this can happen? But you just have to push through it. And then it’s over. Then the next thing happens, but…”

“You just made a face that said you’ve been through a lot of things at the end there.”

“Yes. All sorts of things happened, but they’ve all passed.”

Come to think of it, it’s true. Establishing Link. Quitting. Working at the broadcasting station and then finally creating the studio, only to have Sungjae, who had been my closest friend, and all the people from the club grow distant. Amidst all that, the person who remained by my side was Lee Hyun, who from the very beginning had disapproved the most of what I was doing. He even encouraged me, saying that if I went on the show, I’d have a lot to say. Who would have thought the day would come when you would say something like that.

[You’ll be able to enlighten at least one person like me, who acts like they know everything when they know nothing.]

[Talk to people who are in a situation where it’s hard to believe in themselves, just like when you were struggling. Tell them you were right all along.]

[Jio. You were never wrong, not once.]

The text from Lee Hyun, which I had been re-reading like a good-luck charm before coming in, had arrived at dawn yesterday. It was the reply he sent after I texted him my twelfth complaint about whether it was really right for me to be on the show.

I silently repeated the sentences that felt like they would wear away from being read over and over all day. I was never wrong, not once. That’s what he said.

“Before I came here today, I received a written-out list of my career history for the first time. I became a company CEO from something I did as a hobby, worked at a broadcast outsourcing production company, and now I’m called ‘Director.’ And I even have a business plan I’m preparing now. Looking at it in this condensed way, I realized I’m a pretty cool person. Even though I always thought I had failed.”

“Failed? No matter how I look at it, I don’t see any part that looks like a failure.”

“It looks that way now, but at the time I was going through it, I thought it was all failure. There were times I thought the ground was crumbling beneath my feet. But it turns out it wasn’t crumbling, I had just fallen over. All I had to do was get back up. Yes. That’s how it is.”

At that moment, an unscripted question came flying in from one of the guests, the essayist.

“Then, Director Shin Jio. I have something I’m personally very curious about, may I ask you a question?”

“Yes?”

My reply was a question in itself, but she must have taken it as an affirmation because she immediately asked her question.

“Still, if you only thought of everything as a failure, it must have been incredibly difficult to endure. Was there anything in your life that you thought, ‘This was definitely a success’?”

Isn’t this a bit much for someone who only practiced by reading the script over and over? Knowing the answer wasn’t in the script, I still glanced down at it and tried to buy time by drawing out my words. A definite success? I’ve really never thought about that.

“A success is… just a moment. Let me think about it for a second. Nothing comes to mind right now.”

“Did you hit it big with an investment, perhaps?”

“Nope. Really. I transferred all my company shares before I left, so there was nothing like that.”

“What about support from your family?”

“My family still doesn’t really approve of what I do. They always say a full-time job is the best.”

“Then what about your friends?”

How many of the friends I had worked with had left my side? Of course, there were many who gave me strength, but to call that a success was difficult when there had been so many failures. As I kept shaking my head, a sudden question was thrown at me.

“Then how has your love life been?”

It was a question from the DJ, who had been leading the show so smoothly until now. To ask something like this all of a sudden. For a moment, I felt sweat bead on the bridge of my nose as I stared blankly at the gazes gathering on me. Suddenly, love life? This is the problem with Korea.

“My love life? That is…”

It was a late-night radio show that by no means had a large audience, but I couldn’t just deny it and say I don’t do things like dating. What kind of humiliation would I face when I got home?

More than anything, Lee Hyun is not someone to whom the word ‘failure’ could ever be attached. That’s right. It’s a huge success. Oh. So there was something in my life that could truly be called a success. It was a moment where I, too, was caught in a gentle state of shock at this new realization. The people watching my expression began to chatter all at once. The sound of one DJ and two guests suddenly chattering boisterously filled the radio booth.

Among them, the franchise CEO suddenly spoke in a voice full of resentment, as if he were deeply wronged.

“Ah. That’s how it is. A person needs someone who believes in them to be able to take on such diverse challenges.”

“No, wait a minute. This… person didn’t believe in me from the very beginning.”

“So they were against it at first?”

“It was more than just being against it. At first, they really disliked it a lot. You’re wrong. You’re going down the wrong path. They used to glare at me with that kind of expression all the time. This is unfair. I want to emphasize that I absolutely did not overcome every difficulty with such solid support. I’m only at a level where I’ve just barely managed to persuade them.”

“Oh. We’ve just gotten to a really interesting part, but it’s almost time for the segment to end. What should we do? I think we’ll have to invite Director Shin Jio back for another opportunity.”

At the sudden closing remarks, I snapped to my senses and looked at the time. Damn it. The 20 minutes had passed a long time ago. I should have just dragged on with another story instead of answering. While I was biting my lip, the other two finished their closing remarks, and my turn was approaching. I gave a silent, dry cough to force my slightly high-pitched tone down and delivered my own unscripted closing statement.

“Yes. It was a good experience today and… I don’t think I’ll be accepting any future offers. I believe today will be my debut and farewell broadcast. I hope you all enjoyed listening.”

“No, no. We will do whatever it takes to have you back to hear the rest of the story. The one person who was a success in a life he considered a failure. His lover. But even that person did not fully support him from the beginning. What could have happened? We’ll look forward to part two.”

“That won’t be necessary. To all the listeners, I hope you have a pleasant morning. Goodbye.”

A song started playing. Belatedly, I bowed my head and stared at the pattern on the desk, thinking. I knew one thing for sure. Today’s radio show would be etched into my life as a new failure.

I didn’t bother to count how many calls I had missed. While exchanging perfunctory goodbyes and contact information with the other guests, the missed calls steadily piled up. By the time I got down to the parking garage and was about to secure my phone in its holder, there were over ten. With a heavy heart, I turned off the power and started the car. Thankfully, it wasn’t a difficult route, so I didn’t really need the navigation.

Driving slowly, below the speed limit on the cool early morning road, I thought blankly. What do I do? What should I say? The personal texts that had popped up intermittently among the missed calls were all filled with question marks. Are you seeing someone right now? Who have you been dating for so long? Even short texts that were just a string of question marks.

Wow. What kind of excuse am I supposed to make for this? Should I just say the radio show scripted it? That since I’m so boring, they threw in a lie to make it interesting…

Even though it was my own excuse, it was pathetically flimsy. I wracked my brain some more, but despite driving at an incredibly slow speed, I arrived at the apartment complex without finding an answer.

Even after parking the car, my mind was a jumble, so I got out on the first floor to take a walk around the apartment complex garden. First… I don’t know if Lee Hyun is back, but let’s cool my head and think. Now, what do I do?

It was nearing 2 AM, so the garden was utterly silent. I was slowly circling the building, enjoying the cool breeze now that the midsummer heat had broken. I had finished one lap but still didn’t feel like going inside, so I continued to walk listlessly.

Should I just have one cigarette? Just as the thought of the cigarettes I had almost successfully quit popped into my head and I stopped to rummage through my back pocket, I heard footsteps ahead. I gave up on the idea and looked forward. A long shadow stretched to my feet, and then a man with a streetlight at his back walked towards me. It was a person who was now endlessly familiar to me. Lee Hyun, wearing a black sweatshirt over his broad torso, was gazing at me with eyes completely devoid of sleepiness. It was a night where the bright moonlight made his pale cheeks shine smoothly.

I was walking around because I was troubled, but I had no idea why Lee Hyun was walking toward me from the opposite direction at this hour, so I asked.

“What are you doing?”

“What about you?”

Along with his nonchalant retort, I followed his pointing finger and lifted my head to see a single terrace with its lights on. While I was counting the floors, Lee Hyun added.

“I saw you from up there.”

“Ah.”

“Why are you going round and round like a hamster on a wheel?”

“You heard?”

“I did.”

“Everything?”

“Yeah.”

Thankfully, his expression showed no sign of displeasure or negativity. In fact, Lee Hyun, looking more affectionate than on other days, held up the phone he was holding in front of me. It showed the various interrogations going on in our group chat. Shin Jio, come out. I said, come out! Even a message from Seungpyo that was no different from a rampage. Good grief.

“What’s this? What’s with Seungpyo?”

“He said it’s a betrayal.”

“What’s a betrayal?”

“He says how could you do this when he told you everything.”

“Did I ask him to tell me? He’s the one who rambles on and on.”

What a ridiculous guy. I let out a weak chuckle, but the returning wave of worry made my smile vanish. Instead, I raised my palm and rubbed my face as if trying to scrub it off. Lee Hyun just watched my comical state. As if engraving the sight into his eyes for a long time.

“What do I do?”

“Tell them.”

“Tell them?”

“Well, what else are you going to do?”

“That’s true, but.”

Huu. With a sigh, I turned on my phone, still glancing furtively at Lee Hyun standing before me. Thankfully, he looked to be in a very good mood. That was a great comfort. For me, it was also encouragement.

Swiping away the notification for the missed calls, which was no longer increasing in number, I hesitantly opened the group chat. Lee Hyun, who was watching my slow gestures, came closer until the tips of our feet brushed. Even the moonlight that had seeped between us was now blocked by your forehead. Close enough for our foreheads to almost touch, Lee Hyun, who was watching my hands on the phone, spoke.

“I thought you were going to say it wasn’t true.”

“Well, if I said the wrong thing there, the nuance would have made it sound like a failure, and to me, you’re not a failure.”

Wait a minute, then that means you heard the whole thing about the success and all. Of course you would have. Feeling my face suddenly flush, I quickly tried to change the subject.

“Anyway, I remember you said last time we could reveal it whenever, but still, today was a bit sudden, wasn’t it?”

“Sudden?”

“You really weren’t surprised?”

“I was always waiting, wondering when you would do it.”

Thankfully, Lee Hyun seemed to like what I said today, as he wasn’t finding fault and was speaking so sweetly. Staring right at the pale face positioned so close that the tip of my nose tickled, I felt like his smile was about to infect me. I reined in the corners of my mouth that were trying to foolishly break into a grin and, with a semblance of seriousness, confessed my feelings once more.

“Still, it could have been uncomfortable for you. I was thinking I might have made a mistake, but it’s a relief that you say it’s not.”

“Is that why you were scurrying around here like a squirrel?”

“I wasn’t scurrying that much.”

“I was watching, thinking you’d come up after one lap, but I came down because you started on your second.”

“Hey. It’s not an easy decision, you know. I’m really going to say it now, okay?”

“Hurry up.”

My eyes widened at the sudden, slanted kiss that made a soft smack sound. There were probably almost no people watching. Probably. But we’d never done this in such an open place before. With wide eyes, I took a step back. Only after stepping back a foot could I fully see your expression, which had been too close.

“Stamp it that you’re mine.”

“……It’s too late for you to have regrets now.”

“Hurry up and finish me.”

I don’t know anymore either. I’ve been dating Lee Hyun since we were twenty. We broke up for a little while, but… The moment I squeezed my eyes shut and hit send on this absurd text, the activity in the group chat, which had been relentlessly demanding an explanation, came to a halt. The ‘unread’ indicators disappeared without pause. And then.

[Why are you dragging Lee Hyun into your excuse?]

[Put some effort into your lies, please ㅠㅠ]

[That’s a bit…]

“What the. Is this something to be this disbelieving about?”

Because they didn’t believe me, a strange stubbornness arose, and I added more explanation. No. It’s for real, okay? That’s why Lee Hyun and I live together. For some reason, the more I explained, the more everyone seemed to deny it, which only fired me up more. That’s why we’re moving together too. It’s for real…!

“Should I say something too?”

“No. I’ll handle it. I’ll make them understand. How can not a single person believe me like this?”

“Okay.”

Lee Hyun leaned his head on my shoulder, letting out the rest of a chuckle. I glared at his slightly shaking head, then glared back at my phone. Just believe me, you idiots.

˙✧˖🎥⋆˙

After that day’s confession, Shin Jio’s appointments increased. It could never be said that he was someone without plans, but it was certain that they had grown more numerous.

Lee Hyun recalled the moments when Jio, who had clearly come in just moments after him, would walk out of the bathroom shaking his soaking wet hair, or when they would coincidentally meet in the elevator and come home together. One day, he came in looking drained, plopped down on the sofa with something in his mouth, and on another day, he seemed a bit excited, glancing at Lee Hyun’s face.

Seeing that clear expression, Lee Hyun just watched, thinking that every day must be good, that he must be okay. Although it seemed their university friends, unable to call Lee Hyun out, were calling Jio non-stop. Although Seungpyo, who acted in front of him as if he’d never even seen that day’s confession, seemed to be meeting with Jio persistently. As long as Jio was in a good mood, it didn’t matter. More than anything, he seemed to quite enjoy going around and explaining things himself.

Then, one day. He came home late from work as usual. For some reason, Shin Jio ran all the way to the entryway where Lee Hyun was coming in and abruptly asked.

“Hyun. You. What do you like about me?”

If Jio’s expression had been shadowed or hesitant when he asked, Lee Hyun would have contacted the person he met today. But his eyes, tinged with a faint sense of anticipation, were just sparkling. If that was the case, then it didn’t matter at all. Lee Hyun slowly walked into the dressing room, took off his wristwatch, casually checked the time, and answered.

“Today, I like that you came home before 2 AM.”

“Are you going to keep nagging me with things like that?”

“How many times did you come home after 2 AM last week?”

“That wasn’t just my fault, it was your fault too, you know?”

It seemed as if Shin Jio had completely forgotten the emotions he had put on his face while making excuses every time he came home late last week. Getting worked up all by himself, Jio started reporting on each of his appointments from the previous week. Listening to him, Lee Hyun slowly took off his clothes, one by one. He occasionally gave small nods.

The question, which I thought he wouldn’t ask again, continued to pop up intermittently. One day, he asked it casually from the driver’s seat he had insisted on taking.

“Why do you really like me?”

“Because you can’t drive.”

“Ah. I’m good at it.”

Another day, after finishing a meal at our favorite restaurant and contentedly swinging his feet, he asked it like a surprise attack.

“But Hyun.”

“Yeah.”

“Why do you like me?”

“Because you eat everything I buy you so well.”

“Really…?”

One morning, he woke up at the crack of dawn and bustled around the house, then blocked Lee Hyun’s path as he was about to leave for a workout.

“Why do you like me today?”

He asked, blocking the hallway with a downright taunting tone. Lee Hyun, thinking of the tee time he had to make right away, answered curtly. Because you’re always like this.

As soon as he heard that answer, Shin Jio turned fierce, as if something was deeply dissatisfying.

“Stop answering like that all the time. The real reason.”

“I’ve told you every day.”

“Don’t tell me there isn’t one. Is that it? You don’t have one?”

I’ve been giving him a reason faithfully every day, what more does he want me to say? Lee Hyun felt a sense of remoteness and silently stared at Jio, who was standing opposite him. Jio, as if thinking this was some kind of staring contest, glared back, full of spirit.

Lee Hyun kept looking at that lively face. He just kept looking. It wasn’t a difficult thing to do, as he could have stared at it all day if asked. But his restless lover, eventually looking puzzled all by himself, let go of the collar he had grabbed half-heartedly.

“Ah, I don’t know.”

He said, giving up and turning away to hide his face against the right wall. Looking at his flat back, Lee Hyun couldn’t bring himself to leave and stifled a laugh. How many days has it been since he started asking the same question over and over, only to ask again the next day, as if the answers were never to his liking?

But there was nothing else to say. He wanted to scrape out his heart and show him everything, but Lee Hyun sometimes felt that the number of words in the world was insufficient. So, when a smooth explanation was difficult, he sometimes resorted to silence. This was one of those times.

Jio.

Lee Hyun’s lips moved without a sound.

I’ve lost you before because of my own mistake. Compared to that time, anything and everything is just good.

But that’s really how I feel. I don’t know how to explain it. That’s why I answer that way. Every time you ask, it’s because I like everything about you. That’s really all it is.

At that moment, Jio, who had been pressing his face against the wall as if holding his breath, slightly turned his head at the sound of Lee Hyun not leaving. Through his disheveled bangs, it was clear to see him squinting his eyes. As their gazes naturally intertwined and Lee Hyun met his eyes, Jio asked again.

“But, really. For real. Why?”

“Because even through all that, you don’t give up and keep asking like this.”

“Forget it. Let’s just forget it.”

Just watching that resolute back as he turned away again was too difficult a task. Lee Hyun slowly approached and wrapped his arms around Jio’s back, as if trapping him between the wall and his own embrace.

He bowed his head deeply, burying his body into him. As if they could become one. He pressed his nose into the center of the crown of Jio’s head, which smelled strongly similar to his own, and buried his lips in the soft hair, only managing to hide the corners of his mouth that kept trying to foolishly break into a smile.