Even My Life Is Yours Chapter 5

“Senior Brother Kyungrak is getting married, right? You’re close with Senior Brother Kyungrak, so you must know.”

It was an unexpected question. Gamyoung had anticipated, at most, some whining about the arduous training, but the question that emerged from that small head was about his older brother’s marriage.

Why would Hongyo ask such a thing?

Gamyoung was genuinely curious. Hongyo had always admired and followed Kyungrak, but to skip training because of his brother’s marriage news? He considered asking if it was true, but Hongyo’s lips were stuck out in a pout. He looked so obviously upset and disappointed that Gamyoung answered vaguely,

“I suppose so. Probably.”

It was customary to hold the wedding ceremony immediately after the Imryongje, the ceremony where the next emperor of this country is chosen by the dragon. But why was he so curious about this? As Gamyoung watched, the visibly dejected Hongyo turned his head forward again and hung it low.

“She must be beautiful. And of noble birth.”

The current crown princess was the daughter of a high-ranking official, and after Kyungrak ascended to the throne and formally married her, she would be crowned empress, making her indeed of noble birth. But Hongyo, who couldn’t possibly know this detail, kept his head bowed.

Even though this was a training hall attended by nobles and the children of wealthy merchants, Kyungrak’s royal status could not be revealed. Publicly, Kyungrak’s identity was disguised as the son of a noble family from the countryside, and Gamyoung was known as his distant relative, a student who had come to the capital to study with his cousin.

But why is he so down about Brother Kyungrak getting married?

Lost in thought, Gamyoung soon had a realization. He poked Hongyo, who was still hanging his head, in the side. With a yelp, Hongyo whipped his head around.

“What?”

Gamyoung narrowed his eyes and moved closer to Hongyo. As the distance between them shortened, Hongyo instinctively pulled his head back, and Gamyoung followed.

“Do you want to get married?”

“What?”

“Are you feeling unsettled because Senior Brother Kyungrak is getting married? Well, it’s true. We’re about the right age to marry. Should I ask Senior Brother Kyungrak if there are any suitable young women in the capital? Hongyo, for you… hmm, you’re a bit small, but with your personality, I’m sure you’ll find a good wife.”

He must be feeling a little sad that Kyungrak, whom he admired and followed, is getting married to a good match. The rascal had never shown any interest in women, but he must be thinking about such things now that he’s becoming a man.

Gamyoung laughed playfully and grasped Hongyo’s shoulder. It was an ordinary evening, like any other. But Hongyo was different.

“…I’m going to bed.”

Hongyo spoke after a pause, then rose from his seat. He always slept with his elderly grandmother, worried about her coughing worsening at night. So, it was the right time for him to go to bed, but why did he seem so drained? He must have admired Kyungrak more than Gamyoung thought. Gamyoung grabbed Hongyo, who had reached for the doorknob.

“What is it? Is it really because of Senior Brother Kyungrak?”

Hongyo pouted and rolled his eyes. Then he let out a quiet sigh.

“I’m not a child. I wouldn’t skip class for something like that. I was just busy running errands for my adoptive mother for a while. I’ll be back when I’m done, so don’t worry and go to sleep.”

Hongyo’s face had a faint smile, but it was still tinged with dejection. Only then did Gamyoung release his hand. Even after Hongyo went to his grandmother’s room, Gamyoung couldn’t fall asleep easily. He had often been away from home on errands for his adoptive mother before, so it was a relief if that was why he’d missed class, but the problem was his expression.

The dejected look on his face, as if he’d been abandoned, bothered him. Gamyoung frowned with a strangely uneasy feeling. He must be feeling unsettled that someone he admired like an older brother is getting married.

Should I look for a good, virtuous woman for him right now?

However, the thought of someone other than himself beside Hongyo filled him with an inexplicably unpleasant and unfamiliar emotion.

Was this how Hongyo felt? But Gamyoung hadn’t felt this way when Kyungrak got married. The mere thought made him feel unreasonably upset, and he crumpled his pillow in frustration. Hongyo getting married…

Hmm… Gamyoung tried to force himself to sleep. But even in this room, which had become more comfortable than his own home, the inexplicable feeling wouldn’t disappear.

˖°⛩️⋆˙️

“I’m back!”

Hongyo returned to the training hall a week later. He opened the door energetically, his face looking much better than Gamyoung had feared. The younger children, who adored Hongyo, ran to greet him first.

“Senior Brother Hongyo! Why are you only coming back now?”

“I had some things to take care of. How have you been?”

When the child who particularly adored Hongyo smiled brightly, Hongyo stroked the child’s head. Just then, Gamyoung spotted Hongyo and approached him. The training uniform made from the plain cloth he had given him fit perfectly. Even though he hadn’t made it himself, Gamyoung felt strangely proud and a smile spread across his face.

“You got a new uniform. Is your slacking off finally over?”

“When did I ever slack off?”

Hongyo pouted, then suddenly closed his mouth and averted his gaze. Wondering what was wrong, Gamyoung turned his head to find Kyungrak standing behind him.

“It’s been a while, Hongyo. What have you been up to, not showing your face around here? I was so worried I was going crazy. Did you get a new uniform? It suits you well.”

As Kyungrak greeted him with his usual hearty laugh and playful words, Hongyo shifted his gaze and replied,

“Yes, well. Thank you.”

“You rascal. Are you shy because it’s been a while?”

Kyungrak laughed and leaned closer to Hongyo, who quickly stepped back in surprise and stared at him. He looked like a wary wildcat, which Kyungrak found so endearing that he pinched Hongyo’s cheeks, eliciting a squeak.

“He’s not being shy, he’s scared because you’re doing that, Brother.”

Gamyoung clicked his tongue, and Kyungrak looked up with a playful expression. He then slung an arm around Hongyo’s shoulders and spoke in a friendly tone.

“Really, Hongyo? I’m just being affectionate because I find you cute, but if you think that way, I’m hurt.”

“Ugh, stop it!”

Hongyo looked at Kyungrak, who had his arm around his shoulders and was leaning close, and desperately pushed him away. Then, his face flushed red, he said,

“S-Senior Brother, you’re getting married soon, so is this appropriate?”

“Huh? What does me getting married have to do with me adoring you?”

Hongyo groaned softly and stammered,

“W-Well… Women like to be treated gently. What are you going to do, being so mischievous when you have a fiancée?”

“Oh?”

Kyungrak’s eyes lit up at the unexpected answer. His eyes twinkled and the corners of his mouth turned up, a sign that he was thinking of a playful prank. But instead of stopping Kyungrak as usual, Gamyoung stared intently at Hongyo.

“Yeo Hongyo. You seem to know a lot about women. I thought you were just a kid, but you’ve become quite the man.”

Kyungrak, beaming with pride, put his arm around Hongyo’s shoulder and made a sly expression.

“If you know so much about women, will you teach me a thing or two? Hongyo, did you go to a gisaeng house while I was away? Who was it? Chowol of the Myungwol House? Or Miok of the Sudang House?”

“Enough of that.”

But it was Gamyoung, not Hongyo, who answered. He had been watching Hongyo passively leaning against Kyungrak and sighed.

“Brother. Hongyo hasn’t even reached his coming-of-age yet. Stop teasing him and act your age, like Hongyo said.”

Kyungrak finally glanced at Hongyo and, seeing his bowed head, realized his mistake. Removing his arm, Kyungrak scratched his head.

“I’m sorry, Hongyo. I was just excited to see you and got carried away with the teasing.”

“…It’s alright. Don’t worry about it. I’ll go see Master now.”

Hongyo bowed to Kyungrak and walked past, leaving Kyungrak to mutter to Gamyoung with a still apologetic look.

“I think I made a mistake.”

“That’s because you brought up women.”

“Well, Hongyo mentioned women first. Anyway, he seems a bit down. Why is that?”

Gamyoung glanced at Kyungrak. Saying outright, “It seems like Hongyo wants to get married too,” felt strangely awkward.

Just then, a woman appeared before Hongyo, who was greeting the Master. It was Sujin, the Master’s daughter. As a woman, she didn’t train in martial arts, but she sometimes helped the Master by serving tea or preparing cloths for wiping sweat and wooden swords for the students.

Gamyoung watched Hongyo greet Sujin. Sujin’s worried face was dark as she asked him what had happened while she was gone. Hongyo scratched the back of his head, took a step closer, and looked closely at Sujin’s face. Then, he spoke to her kindly, as if telling her not to worry…

“That Hongyo. He seemed to know a lot about women, and he really does.”

Kyungrak, who had been watching alongside him, murmured in admiration.

“Look. Lady Sujin looks quite shy, doesn’t she? When did Hongyo get to know women so well? He’s ready to get married now. It seems like Lady Sujin also admires Hongyo. Perhaps I should play matchmaker.”

But unlike the chuckling Kyungrak, Gamyoung couldn’t bring himself to smile. As Gamyoung silently watched the two, Kyungrak nudged him.

“Why that look on your face, Brother?”

“…What do you mean?”

“Are you seriously asking? You look like you could freeze hell over. Why, are you also upset that Hongyo is getting married before you? It’s true that you two are exceptionally close, but both you and Hongyo will eventually take wives. Don’t feel too bad that Hongyo is going first.”

Kyungrak patted Gamyoung’s shoulder understandingly a couple of times and headed to the training grounds.

“It’s not like that.”

But by the time he belatedly offered an explanation, Kyungrak was already too far away to hear. Left alone, Gamyoung raised a hand to his cheek. His stiff, awkward cheek met his fingertips.