Even My Life Is Yours Chapter 9

“Isn’t he lovely?”

Gamyoung’s face twisted in disgust.

“Brother. You can say that even after seeing him like this? Did you make him drink?”

He’d gotten sly with age, but it seemed Gamyoung still hadn’t grown enough to retort effectively. It was rare for him, someone who rarely showed his emotions, to look angry, as if concerned for his friend. However, what bothered Kyungrak was the hardened expression Gamyoung had briefly shown before his face contorted in disgust. It had been so fleeting that he wondered if he had seen it wrong, but as someone trained to be a king, he wouldn’t miss such an expression.

Kyungrak looked at Gamyoung with interest and replied,

“He drank it himself. He thought it was water.”

Thinking that further teasing would genuinely anger Gamyoung, Kyungrak confessed readily. Gamyoung sighed.

“And you just watched him do it? You should have stopped him when he reached for the cup.”

“How could I stop him when he gulped it down before I could react?”

He cares for him more than I thought. Kyungrak stroked his chin as he watched Gamyoung. At Kyungrak’s shamelessly boldfaced response, Gamyoung sighed softly. Then he entered the room, lifted Hongyo’s arm, and carried him on his back.

“Are you taking him home?”

“I can’t just leave him here to sleep.”

“That’s true.” Kyungrak finished his drink and said, “With all that care, will you ever let him get married?”

“That’s for Hongyo to decide.”

“Tsk. You never miss a beat.”

“Brother, you should head back too. The Right Wing Commander is waiting for you outside. What did he do to deserve this?”

“Impudent.”

Gamyoung, with Hongyo on his back, bowed to Kyungrak. Watching Gamyoung leave, Kyungrak said casually,

“Be careful not to drop what’s in Hongyo’s pocket on your way out.”

What’s he talking about? Gamyoung turned around with that question on his face, but Kyungrak pretended not to know and took another sip of his drink.

˖°⛩️⋆˙️

“Hey, Yeo Hongyo. Wake up.”

Gamyoung laid Hongyo down in his room and shook his shoulder gently, but to no avail. Seeing Hongyo on Gamyoung’s back, Hongyo’s grandmother, thinking he was injured, rushed out barefoot in alarm. However, seeing Hongyo sprawled out asleep, she clicked her tongue and went to fetch water to wash his face.

Left alone with Hongyo, Gamyoung had no choice but to watch over him. Annoyed by how peacefully he was sleeping, oblivious to the person who had carried him all the way, Gamyoung considered pulling his nose, but stopped himself.

“Well, it’s Brother Kyungrak’s fault for not stopping him. It’s not your fault.”

Gamyoung sighed and glanced at Hongyo. The crackling sound of burning firewood could be heard from outside. It seemed the grandmother was heating water at this hour, unable to wash her grandson with cold water. As Gamyoung listened to the sound, he suddenly remembered Kyungrak’s last words and searched Hongyo’s pockets. His hand closed around the familiar apricot blossom hair ornament that Hongyo had intended to give to Kyungrak earlier.

‘Why is this here? Did something happen that prevented him from giving it?’

However, judging from Kyungrak’s parting words, he seemed aware of the hair ornament. Gamyoung stared at the ornament in his hand with a confused expression.

“Hmm…”

As if his throat was dry, Hongyo scratched at his collar. Seeing this, Gamyoung decided to ask about the details later and put the ornament in his own pocket.

“Hey. Take your clothes off before you sleep.”

However, the other person, lost in sleep, didn’t seem to hear him and continued to scratch his itchy neck. Finally, unable to watch any longer, Gamyoung reached out to help him take off his top.

It’s not a big deal to see a bit of skin between men. Just as Gamyoung reached for the collar of his top, Hongyo’s hot breath brushed against his hand, and a small voice escaped his lips.

“It’s tight… I can’t breathe.”

Oh, please. Despite his inner thoughts, Gamyoung hurried. However, at that moment, his hand froze in midair.

“Stop… My body… Ugh… Burning…”

At the same time, Hongyo opened his eyes wide, exhaling sharply. His forehead was damp with a sudden sheen of sweat. However, the fear that filled his wide eyes was the first thing Gamyoung noticed. Seeing Hongyo having a seizure, Gamyoung instinctively cupped his cheeks.

“Hongyo, Yeo Hongyo!”

Tears welled up in his unfocused eyes. Gamyoung spoke firmly, watching Hongyo struggle to escape his grasp,

“Hongyo. Look at me.”

As if realizing someone was there, the hand scratching his skin stilled. Looking into Hongyo’s gradually focusing eyes, Gamyoung spoke as if carving the words into his mind,

“Breathe slowly. Yes. Like that.”

Following his words, Hongyo slowly exhaled, his breathing gradually calming down. Soon, his fear-filled eyes blinked once, and the tears that had welled up streamed down, falling onto Gamyoung’s hand. At the same time, Hongyo let out a deep breath, as if he had just been pulled out of water, and stammered,

“Did… did I do it again?”

His tear-stained eyes were red. Gamyoung lowered his hands from Hongyo’s cheeks and patted his back.

“It’s okay. You’ve been overworking yourself lately. Your body must be unwell.”

Although he said it was okay, Gamyoung felt his breath catch every time he saw Hongyo like this. He was able to handle it skillfully because it wasn’t the first time, but the first time he had witnessed it, he was so shocked that he could only stand by and watch Hongyo’s grandmother soothe him.

Hongyo had told him that when he wasn’t feeling well, he sometimes had nightmares of his body burning. Since it had been happening since he was very young, he said he was used to it, but the sensations were so vivid that it was difficult. Gamyoung had once asked the royal physician about it, but the only answer he received was that everyone has a different constitution, and such things could happen when the body is weak. Alternatively, it could be a recurring symptom stemming from a traumatic experience in his childhood that caused seizures.

He doubted such a vivid nightmare could be caused by such simple reasons, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask about Hongyo’s past. His instincts told him that prying into someone’s past when they said they couldn’t remember much besides the pain wasn’t a good approach.

Instead, Gamyoung, as always, gently patted Hongyo’s shoulder.

“You’re a man, you know? No matter how much it hurts, is it okay to cry so easily?”

“Is there a law against men crying? We cry when we’re born, when we’re startled, and when we’re in pain.”

“You’re talking big for someone who’s in pain. Fine, you’re right.”

Despite his words, he didn’t stop patting his shoulder and back. Gamyoung continued to worry even as he watched Hongyo’s breathing gradually even out.

“Do you want to sleep together tonight?”

Hongyo’s hazy eyes widened.

“What? Why?”

“Why? You don’t look well… and if you have that nightmare again, your grandmother will lose sleep too. Since things have turned out this way, wouldn’t it be better if I stayed by your side?”

He said it without any particular intention. What was the big deal about two men sleeping together? Of course, he had never slept with anyone else before, but he had heard that it was common for friends to share a room in commoner households. However, before he could even lay out the bedding, Yeo Hongyo shot up.

“No, no! I should sleep with my grandmother! She’s so old, she could get sick at any time! I have to get her water if she coughs.”

“Huh?”

“And… Grandmother is comfortable.”

“…”

“…I don’t want you to see me like this.”

Ah… Gamyoung understood what he meant, yet he couldn’t quite grasp it. Even between close friends, there were sides they wanted to show and sides they didn’t. Who would want to show their vulnerable and weak side to others?

But why did it feel so disappointing?

Gamyoung stared at Hongyo. At times like this, Hongyo seemed to think that only he considered them close.

“Is that so.”

Gamyoung stood up. Hongyo looked at him with a flustered expression.

“Are you leaving? At this hour?”

“You seem fine now, and I have to leave early for work tomorrow.”

“But… it’s late.”

“It’s fine. Rest.”

Although Gamyoung pretended to be nonchalant, his mouth felt bitter. He looked back at Hongyo one last time before leaving. His cheeks and the area around his eyes were still flushed, indicating that while he had calmed down, the effects of the alcohol hadn’t completely worn off. Gamyoung watched Hongyo for a moment before stepping outside. Just then, Hongyo’s grandmother, carrying a basin of hot water, saw Gamyoung putting on his shoes and asked with a puzzled look,

“Where are you going without sleeping at this hour?”

“I have to leave early tomorrow morning for work. I’ll be going now, Grandmother. Sleep well.”

“What kind of work requires you to leave so early in the morning? Just sleep here.”

Gamyoung bowed his head and, with a smile, replied to the grandmother who tried to stop him again,

“No, it’s okay. More importantly, Hongyo seems to be unwell. He had a seizure in his sleep earlier. He’s calmed down now, but he seems a bit shaken.”

At his words, the grandmother’s face hardened. She quickly glanced at Hongyo’s room and said,

“Alright. Go safely.”

Then she hurried into Hongyo’s room. No matter how much they grumbled daily, no family wouldn’t worry about their only grandson being sick. Gamyoung glanced back at the room and slowly started walking. He hadn’t gone far when the image of that flushed face came to mind.

‘Was I too harsh when he was unwell?’

Even if he felt disappointed, it didn’t mean he wasn’t worried. Gamyoung sighed and habitually put his hand in his pocket. His fingers touched something. He realized his mistake at the hard, metallic touch, but it was already too late.

Why did I bring this out?

Gamyoung stared at the hair ornament in his hand with a troubled expression. Then, the image of Hongyo’s face, determined to give the gift to Kyungrak, flashed through his mind, irritating him. Then he suddenly remembered Hongyo with Sujin. Seeing Hongyo readily accept the kindness of others while keeping a distance from him, whom he considered his closest friend, made him feel strange. Gamyoung pursed his lips and put the hair ornament back in his pocket.