Even My Life Is Yours Chapter 93

“It has been a long time, Lady Sujin.”

“I heard you could not visit for a while because you were working. Have you returned for good now?”

“Yes. However, I am only on a brief leave, so I must return again. It is good to see that you also seem to have been doing well, My Lady.”

At that, the senior brothers beside them began to tease her.

“Wow. Since Lady Sujin is here, it looks like we don’t even exist to you? Master. At this rate, Hongyo might even propose to her.”

Their smirking faces were detestable. Just as Hongyo was about to say something, Sujin spoke first.

“If it is Young Master Hongyo, I would gladly accept him anytime, so please tell me whenever you are ready.”

At those words, the senior brothers, who had initially intended to tease her, turned on Hongyo instead, booing him and calling him a bad guy for making a lady wait. Truly, they were people who hadn’t changed a bit. When Hongyo looked at the Master with an aggrieved face, the Master, who had been watching Hongyo with inward satisfaction, cleared his throat and changed the subject.

“Be that as it may, since you have come after a long time, why don’t you have a sparring match before you leave?”

At the sudden suggestion, Hongyo hesitated for a moment. However, the Master, already excited to meet his disciple after a long time, called over one of the senior brothers around Hongyo. Hongyo looked at the senior brother who had approached her before she knew it. The senior brother, who had been evenly matched with her until right before she entered Hwayeonggyeong, seemed excited about the sparring match after such a long time.

“It has been a while since I faced you like this too.”

The man standing before Hongyo immediately pulled out the wooden sword fastened to his waist.

“Let’s see your skills after all this time.”

At the news of the suddenly arranged sparring match, everyone gathered around without exception. Before she knew it, among the people surrounding them in a circle, Hongyo held the wooden sword handed to her by another senior brother, her face still reluctant.

I didn’t expect to hold a sword again like this… This was the first time she held a wooden sword since leaving Hwayeonggyeong. However, perhaps because the years she spent holding a sword were quite long, even though she hadn’t held one for over half a month, a familiar sensation rather than an unfamiliar one wrapped around her palm.

Hongyo adjusted her posture. When she gripped the sword hilt with both hands and laid the blade on its side, her opponent also assumed the same posture, watching for each other’s openings. It was when they walked about five paces. As if he had been waiting, the man rushed toward Hongyo and honestly swung his sword over her head. Deflecting it lightly, Hongyo simultaneously twisted her body to the side and struck her opponent’s flank with the hilt.

While the man stumbled from the attack that caught him off guard, this time an attack directed at his lower body accurately struck his thigh. Snapping to his senses from the continuous attacks, the senior brother gathered his resolve again and aimed for Hongyo’s side, but the sword blade swung widely by Hongyo drew an arc and struck his wooden sword away. Because of that, the wooden sword flew into the air and dropped to the ground. Hongyo tilted her head as she looked at her senior brother, who was staring at her with flustered eyes.

At that, the senior brother, who grabbed his sword again, rushed toward Hongyo multiple times, but by now, they were attacks that could be clearly seen through. Dodging to and fro whenever the sword came before her eyes, Hongyo lowered her stance sharply and tripped him. Caught beautifully by it, the senior brother fell to the ground with a loud noise. Hongyo pointed her wooden sword over the head of the senior brother who had fallen to the ground. Then, looking at the tip of the sword before his eyes, the senior brother raised both hands as if conceding defeat.

“Yeo Hongyo is the victor!”

The Master, who had been watching the sparring match, announced Hongyo’s victory. When Hongyo extended her hand, the senior brother, who clasped that hand, dusted himself off and stood up. At the match that ended so cleanly, the people surrounding them cheered instead.

“Since I last saw you, did you go off on some training somewhere instead of working?”

Even the Master seemed surprised, unable to hide his admiration. Hongyo smiled awkwardly and said.

“I was merely lucky.”

However, even though she answered that way, Hongyo was inwardly surprised by her own skill. This was the first time she truly understood what it meant for moves to be clearly visible. She didn’t know that the mere six months she spent at Hwayeonggyeong would have trained her to this extent. Then again, since she carried water buckets, learned military tactics every day, and trained all day long as if it were a real battle except for the time she ate her meals, it would be strange if she didn’t improve.

“Thank you. It was a good match.”

As Hongyo bowed her waist to her opponent to greet him, the senior brother also faced Hongyo and bowed his waist. With this, Sujin, who approached before she knew it in front of Hongyo who had finished the match, handed her a towel to wipe her sweat.

“Thank you. You are as sweet as ever, My Lady.”

At that, Sujin replied with a smile.

“And you have returned having grown even stronger, Young Master. You look wonderful.”

“Oh dear, you flatter me. You are always beautiful, My Lady.”

Watching Sujin speak with sparkling eyes, Hongyo smiled back at that smile which was always like sunshine. Soon after, when the people scattered, Sujin called Hongyo once more. Seeing her hesitate for a moment as if she had something to say, Hongyo asked first.

“Do you have something to say?”

At that question, Sujin, who cast her gaze down for a moment, spoke.

“By any chance, will Young Master Gamyoung no longer come to the dojo?”

Ah… Hongyo silently looked at Sujin. Even when the senior brothers chattered about marriage or whatnot upon seeing them, the only one Sujin showed this kind of appearance toward was Gamyoung. Hongyo mumbled her lips before confessing honestly.

“Yes. I think it will probably be difficult for him to come now.”

Neither she nor Gamyoung would have much reason to visit the dojo anymore.

“Is that so…”

However, looking at Sujin’s disappointed face was always painful to watch. Yet, there was nothing she could do for her here. Just then, Sujin suddenly held Hongyo’s hand quietly. It was true that she was on intimate terms with Sujin, but she had never done this before. For a man and a woman who were not promised in marriage to hold hands was a very embarrassing thing. Therefore, even though they were that intimate, they had never crossed that line, so why.

“L-Lady Sujin?”

When Hongyo looked at her with a flustered face, Sujin released her hand and spoke.

“I have always felt this, but your hands are truly delicate, Young Master Hongyo. Even though they have calluses, they are not coarse, unlike hands that hold a sword.”

Her brightly smiling face was the same as usual, but there was something pitiful about it.

“Please give my regards to Young Master Gamyoung.”

Hongyo nodded. At that, Sujin also bowed her head and turned her back.

˖°⛩️⋆˙️

A few more days passed since she went to the dojo. However, the face of Sujin that Hongyo saw at the end kept flickering before her eyes. The way she tried to smile through a face that was clearly disappointed. However, her greeting, which seemed somewhat resigned, sounded like the last time, so it kept weighing on her mind. Whenever she thought of that mind which was hard to make out, her chest felt stuffy as if she had indigestion.

“Ah, I don’t know.”

Stepping out of her room, Hongyo stood on the wooden veranda and looked at the sky. The sky had been gloomy since morning, so it was not the kind of weather to go hunting at all. Sure enough. In the sky where the sun was beginning to set, dark ink-clouds were gathered.

Just because she took a break from hunting for today, her body was itching. Silently watching the sky, Hongyo glanced at the wooden sword leaning against the wall. It had always been leaning in that spot ever since she came home from Hwayeonggyeong. Silently watching that wooden sword, Hongyo picked up her wooden sword for the first time only in the third week of her leave. Although the wooden sword bestowed by Hwayeonggyeong was made of wood, it even had a scabbard, so outwardly it looked no different from any real sword.

Hongyo drew her sword after a long time. There was now nothing on the hilt where the ornament gifted by Gamyoung had once hung. Quite some time had passed since that incident, but looking at the empty hilt made her heart feel hollow and ache. A gift that proved the first choice she had made on her own. Having lost that gift might mean, perhaps, that this path she was walking was not the answer.

The reason she hadn’t held a sword for a while was also the same. Right now, she was carrying out an official post under the pretext of studying at Hwayeonggyeong, but if she were to leave Hwayeonggyeong someday and be officially appointed to the military, she had no confidence that she wouldn’t be caught as a woman even then. A woman could never rise to an official post. Unless she was a priestess who inherited the dragon’s power, no woman could rise to an official post. Even now, hadn’t she entered Hwayeonggyeong because she lived as a man?

Although she hadn’t spoken to Mohyun, Hongyo knew that this was as far as she could go. If she grew greedy beyond this, it would become truly dangerous. Not just for her, but for her grandmother, her adoptive mother, and even Gamyoung who had recommended her. Therefore, originally, she intended to return and live as a hunter once she left Hwayeonggyeong. She had certainly planned to do so.

However, learning was, in a way, like a curse. Life before learning academic studies and life after it were completely different. Since she had already realized her own worth, she could not return to the time when she knew nothing. The more she clashed swords on equal terms and studied military tactics, the more a greater ambition kept growing in her heart. Just as Gamyoung led Hwayeonggyeong and Jeonghwan intended to return to Hyeongju to protect his people, Hongyo also gradually became greedy. Even if she was not strong enough to protect someone, at least she wanted to be a person who could help them. She wanted to be the one who blocked the flying sword by their side.

And Hongyo, terrified of such a desire, could not pick up her sword for a while after returning. The reason she hesitated at the sparring match suddenly arranged by the Master was also the same. Because whenever she held a sword, she kept getting greedy. Once this leave ended and she returned to Hwayeonggyeong, what remained was the final exam. Once she passed that exam, from then on, they would be deployed to different departments and live their lives as military officials. Hongyo wanted to delay the time as much as possible. Because she knew that end did not exist for her. Because she knew that even the northern guard of Mugeuk, which everyone avoided, a woman could not enter, she felt a sense of depression whenever she gripped her sword.

But despite that, the reason she had no choice but to grip her sword was, paradoxically, because she loved the moments she gripped her sword that much. While sparring by chance at the dojo last time, Hongyo realized once again. That she could not live without gripping her sword. Therefore, instead of hesitating to draw her sword for today at least, Hongyo tried swinging it. Then, before she knew it, her steps had brought her out to the yard. With every single step she advanced, an arc was drawn in the empty air. Before long, Hongyo was swinging her sword earnestly just like when she trained at Hwayeonggyeong. Her disciplined movements, in which not a single trace of superfluity could be found, clearly showed how hard she had trained.

Just how long had she been swinging her sword like that? Beyond the tip of the sword stretched straight toward the front, like a lie, Gamyoung was standing there.