I’m Trying to End This Possession Chapter 186

Dana, who attended the ceremony, was shocked. Why are there so many people I know here? The chapel was filled with many familiar faces. Nobles she’d seen in the empire, royals from foreign countries, even Allice’s friend, Miona, was there.

 

Isn’t Miona Allice’s maid? Why is she here?

 

Even Pope Baor IV of the Ramun Church was present. Maybe he drank too much holy water, because he looked twenty years younger, as if he’d turned back time.

 

Dana slowly observed the congregation. And then, at a certain moment—

 

“—!”

 

Their eyes met. Those beautiful, jet-black obsidian-like eyes.

 

Dana hurriedly bit the inside of her cheek. After all, she almost screamed. Right. No need to be surprised. She had already seen it before. Already seen…

 

Dana barely managed to gather her scattered wits. She took a deep breath. Yeah, there’s nothing to be surprised about. It’s not something to be shocked over since she already knew. As expected, that guy is in the sanctuary.

 

Right now, her gaze met with the black eyes of the devotee. He was a stunningly handsome young man. Both men and women around him were gazing only at him as if entranced. Even the silver-rimmed glasses on his face couldn’t hide his handsomeness.

 

Dana had seen that man before. In the Holy Land, to be precise, at the flower shop. The same man who had given her a note revealing Carl’s identity and then disappeared. But in fact, she’d known him from even further back. At that time, since she didn’t have the memories of ‘Danae Windsor’, she hadn’t recognized him. Now that her memories had returned, Dana immediately realized who he was.

 

Lethe.

 

Lethe, her secretary, was mingled among those devotees.

 

* * *

After the ceremony ended, as expected, male devotees flocked to her.

 

“Lady Danaena, would you care to join me for dinner?”

 

“I know a really great restaurant just outside the Grand Cathedral.”

 

But Dana’s gaze remained fixed on the back of a single man. She couldn’t hear or see anything else. With each step she took closer to him, memories of Lethe resurfaced

 

Lethe.

 

Back when she possessed Danae Windsor’s body, she had found a boy buried in the snow and brought him home. That boy was a loner who couldn’t remember anything. Feeling like he was out of place in this world as she was, Dana took him in.

 

Lethe.

 

A boy with black hair and black eyes, so handsome and intelligent. And more capable than anyone else.

 

Lethe.

 

Moreover, he was the only man who lingered around her, aside from her family.

 

Looking back on it now, it was a little strange. Why did Raios tolerate Lethe?

 

Raios was the type of madman who would cut off someone’s finger just because they shook hands with Dana, even if it was Count Cedric, his subordinate.

 

Dana stared intently at Lethe’s back. Black hair. Just like Raios. And black eyes. The same as Raios.

 

Raios was born in the Holy Land. Lethe, living in the Holy Land, having black hair and black eyes just like Raios…

 

Dana smiled faintly, her thoughts quickly coming to an end.

 

“Hello.”

 

She reached out and grabbed Lethe’s collar, making him turn around. Fortunately, he was quite the handsome man. It’s only natural for a woman to strike up a conversation. Especially when a woman, burning with passion after a ceremony, this was hardly unusual behavior.

 

“We met eyes earlier in the chapel, didn’t we? May I ask your name?”

 

Lethe turned to look at her. In a moment of silence, he gazed at her calmly, then slowly opened his mouth. “Lethe.”

 

Dana smiled. “My name is Danaena Rolland. Would you like to have dinner with me?” She repeated the same words the male devotees had said countless times before. Such a proposal was like a secret signal after the ceremony.

 

Lethe seemed a bit taken aback, but after a moment, he gave a small nod. “Alright.”

 

* * *

Lethe took her to his home.

 

He has a house in the Holy Land? How funny. Did he buy it with the money she gave him? Or was this actually his real home all along?

 

“I’m sorry.” As soon as they entered, Lethe fell to his knees. “Please forgive me.”

 

Forgive him? Begging for forgiveness out of nowhere? Dana was taken aback. But still, she held on to a faint hope…

 

Dana swallowed down her hot anger. She was so furious at this moment that she felt like a vengeful spirit. But her mind was cold as ice. He knows I’ve regained my memories?

 

Dana hadn’t shown it to anyone yet. She’d planned to pretend for a while longer that she didn’t have Danae Windsor’s memories. So she feigned ignorance. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

At this, Lethe lifted his head. Behind his silver-rimmed glasses, his intelligent eyes were heavy. “Milady.”

 

“Milady? Don’t say things like that. What’s gotten into you all of a sudden?”

 

“Are you very angry?”

 

Of course I am, you b*stard!

 

“No. Not at all. Why would I be?”

 

“When you’re angry, your voice gets even softer. Like now.” Lethe’s gaze slid from her shoulders to her fingertips. “And when you lie, you press your thumb firmly against your index finger.”

 

“…”

 

“And you breathe through parted lips, not through your nose.”

 

Lethe was right. She really had been doing that. And it was a habit she didn’t even know she had.

 

Creepy… A chill ran down her spine. He’d observed her that closely?

 

Dana spoke with a sigh. “Stand up, Lethe.” Her tone changed.

 

Lethe straightened up. Dana immediately slapped him across the face. Slap! A red mark bloomed on his pale cheek, and then, slap! She hit the other side too.

 

“Wouldn’t it be better to kneel again?”

 

Lethe obeyed her words again, acting like an obedient student.

 

Dana asked gently, “Lethe, what on earth are you?”

 

Lethe answered as if he’d been waiting for the question. “I am Lord Raios’s shadow, and Lord Viego’s subordinate.”

 

“…”

 

“And both of them know that, but each believes I am loyal to them alone.”

 

So he was a double agent.

 

“I only wish to serve you, Milady. If you would take me back…”

 

“That’s difficult. Why should I trust you now? You deceived me to the very end.”

 

“I was planning to tell you.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“When you checked.”

 

“…”

 

“I was going to tell you everything when you checked.”

 

Checked? What check? Ah, could it be… I told him to think deeply about his hobbies, the things he wanted to do in life, and the things he liked.

 

Dana had been worried about what would become of Lethe after she left. But she hadn’t had time for a ‘check’. At the time, every second had been urgent for her.

 

“…”

 

Slowly, her cold reason returned. Dana voiced the suspicion she’d had for a while. “Are you by any chance Raios’s blood relative?”

 

“No. I’m…” Lethe paused to steady his breath and replied. “I’m from the orphanage in the Holy Land.” And he confessed everything.

 

According to Lethe, when Raios was a boy, he had come to the Holy Land. There, with the cooperation of the church, he’d gathered the orphans and conducted human experiments, making weapons for his own use. Raios wanted to call them his ‘shadow,’ and had ordered them to be made with hair and eyes as black as a real shadow. Lethe was one such manufactured shadow.

 

Were the shadows real? Dana had heard those grim rumors before. Raios’s shadow. Human weapons. When she was in a relationship with Raios, she’d asked him about it. Back then, Raios had laughed and said this.

 

“Dana, you also believe such baseless rumors? How cute.”

 

But it turned out to be true. Just why… Why was Raios so insane to that extent?

 

“And Lord Viego gave me strict orders. To report everything about you to him.”

 

“…”

 

“And so I did.”

 

It was Raios who had attached Lethe, the boy who was a shadow, to Dana.

 

Lethe bowed his head low. “I’m sorry.”

 

A child experimented on, turned into a tool, and was used. Looking at it this way, he was just like her. But Dana wasn’t foolish enough to pity him here.

 

“Are you sincere about working for me?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“But I can’t give you money like before. I have nothing to offer you.”

 

“I don’t need anything like that.”

 

“Then tell me. Why do you want to abandon Viego and Raios just to become my subordinate?”

 

“Milady…” Lethe’s voice dropped so low it was almost inaudible, then he swallowed his words. Barely moving his lips, he finally managed to whisper. “For Milady.” And that was all. He seemed incapable of saying anything more.

 

But Dana understood. Just that one sentence was filled with an intense, burning heat…

 

“Lethe.” She smiled radiantly. “Do you love me?”

 

As if struck, Lethe’s jaw tensed. After a moment, he answered. “…Milady told me to find things I liked.”

 

Yes, she had. Back when she’d truly believed in him.

 

“I couldn’t find any.”

 

“What?”

 

“There’s nothing. Nothing at all, except for you, Milady.”

 

Her heart lurched, but Dana soon sneered. Well, she supposed it could happen. Since he was a miserable boy, and she was the kind lady who appeared in his life. The lady who told him to find happiness. He might well end up loving only that lady.

 

“Ah, so that’s why you spied on me so obsessively?”

 

“Well, it was related to you.”

 

“So, anything to do with me is fine? Even secretly stalking and following me?”

 

It was a blatant sneer. But, incredibly, Lethe didn’t deny it. He just very, very slowly parted his lips as if painting with a brush…

 

“I…”

 

Slowly,

 

“Apologize.”

 

Lethe admitted it.

 

Dana was left utterly stunned. Even more bewildering was the fact that, even as he confessed his disrespect, Lethe did not avoid her gaze. Those pitch-black eyes were only looking straight at her…

 

I… Dana’s throat convulsed. Clearly asked if he loved me. But what came back was a twisted, distorted attachment. This couldn’t be wrapped up in the brilliant word ‘love.’ His feelings belonged to the deepest shadows.

 

And… he’s a man too. Dana glanced down at Lethe’s lap. He had been aroused for a while now. No doubt it was the aftereffect of the ceremony, but it was still amusing. Her own desire had been extinguished by this overwhelming sense of betrayal, but he seemed to be burning even brighter.

 

“Lethe. Are you aroused right now?”

 

“…”

 

Lethe didn’t deny it. He probably couldn’t.

 

“It’s… because of the ceremony.” His cheeks were red with shame. “This was all because of the ceremony, Milady. It’s something beyond my control.”

 

“Still, if you’re really sorry, you should cool yourself down somehow. If you stay like that, what am I supposed to do? It’s so humiliating I could cry.” Since things were already like this, she let herself shed a tear. A drop ran down her cheek.

 

Wounding Lethe with her tears, Dana thought coldly. Lethe must know all about the sanctuary and the Grand Cathedral. He was the person she’d been looking for. And no one knew better than her how capable Lethe was. Moreover, he had the trust of both Viego and Raios.

 

But Dana was too vexed to simply accept him again. For now, she put on a forlorn expression and asked, “That letter the eagle brought, you let it blow into the pond, didn’t you?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Lethe, are you a holy magician?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Good. Then can you use the forbidden spell, ‘Judgment of the Soul’?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Dana was honestly a bit surprised. That was a high-level spell, but he could really use it? That made him even more useful.

 

Dana kindly suggested, “Will you cast the Judgment of the Soul spell before me once a week to prove your innocence?”

 

Judgment of the Soul. If you lie, your soul will be annihilated as a punishment.

 

“If you prove regularly that you haven’t betrayed me, I think I could trust you.”

 

“Yes, I will.”

 

“…”

 

Not even a moment’s hesitation. Is this enough? I’d like to secure things a bit more, though.

 

Dana carefully studied Lethe’s face. It was just as delicate as before, yet felt entirely different. Someone who had nothing and no one but her to love in this world…

 

“…I told you, I have nothing more to give you.” Dana slowly bent down and whispered in his ear, “But maybe.”

 

With her breath, the fine hairs on Lethe’s nape all stood up.

 

“Maybe I do have something I can give you.”

 

Dana used herself as the bait.